Ch 26: Evaluation
"And that's what's going on," Kirk said.
The somber, wrinkled face of Spock Prime stared back at him from the telecom in his room. It had taken him every bit of strength he had within in him to calmly explain the situation. However, Spock Prime was all too familiar with Kirk's mannerisms to be fooled. The old Vulcan stared sadly back at the younger version of his t'hy'la and noted with great care the dimness of Kirk's usually vibrant eyes and the dark circles beneath them. His ears had become attuned to subtle hints of emotion in the man's voice and could clearly hear the sorrow the young captain struggled to hide. Kirk had every right to feel as he did; knowing the one you love is suffering so greatly and being powerless to help them is a torture that knows no end.
"I understand," Prime said in that deep rumble that indicated his age. The sound of his voice gave Kirk shivers down his spine. If that's what Spock will sound like when he grew old, he'd have to do everything in his power to make sure he was around to hear it. "You are in great luck, Jim. We have just completed a new ship for Ambassador Sarek to use in his travels. It is in need of a test flight to ensure that the warp drive is functioning properly. I am certain I can successfully volunteer for the test flight considering I aided a great deal in its construction."
Kirk's eyes lit up as a small bit of hope finally seemed within his grasp. "Perfect! How soon do you think you can get to our coordinates?" Smiling at the positive change in Kirk's demeanor, Prime answered, "If the warp drive is functioning at its expected capacity, I can be there within a few hours." Kirk struggled with the sudden rush of happiness he felt inside. If Prime could come and take care of Spock then everything would be as it should be.
"I must say," Prime continued, "I am rather worried about Spock though." The shimmer in Kirk's eyes began to dim. "No Vulcan has experienced anything like what Spock is currently dealing with. His condition is much more of a human ailment that is being complicated by his Vulcan heritage. From what you have told me, I believe the condition from which he suffers is very similar to something called Dissociative Identity Disorder. I cannot be entirely certain until I examine him, but if that is indeed the case, it will be quite difficult and potentially dangerous to help him to the extent he may need."
"Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Kirk asked. "What is that?"
"As you noted, it is the presence of multiple personalities in an individual's psyche. When one takes over, the other usually has no memory of what they did, much like what you described happened with Spock. Symptoms include amnesia, sudden uncharacteristic behavior, violence, even a total disconnection with reality. I would say I'm surprised that Doctor McCoy didn't pick up on this, but given the fact that his expertise lies in the physical ailments of his patients, I can understand where it wouldn't come to mind."
"As I discussed with Spock during his time at the colony, I suffered from a great deal of internal conflict due to my mixed heritage. I felt myself swinging like a pendulum between my human side and my Vulcan side. Being near you on a daily basis only further complicated my internal conflict, as I felt myself wanting to be more human so that I could better relate to you and show my affection more openly."
Prime smiled lightly at the blush that tinted Kirk's cheeks. He had forgotten how adorable his t'hy'la was when he was embarrassed. Unfortunately this was not the time to admire it. "With time and dedication to my meditations, I was able to overcome my internal conflict, though it wasn't until after we encountered V'ger that I was truly able to merge my two halves into one. Mind melding with one who had never known more than the pursuit and acquiring of knowledge made me realize that I am not capable of living my life as solely a Vulcan or a human. My love for you also made me realize that if I were to ever be my best for you, I would have to embrace both halves of me."
Kirk's face was so red it glowed. Prime couldn't resist giving a light chuckle, but continued with his explanation. "While I am uncertain as to how severe the separation of human and Vulcan halves are within Spock, I am 98.67% certain that this is a direct result of the loss of our mother, our planet, and most of our race. In other words, he has secretly been suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. "
"I'm sure everything that's been happening between me and him haven't exactly helped with that," Kirk added. Prime nodded his head in agreement. "Indeed. In fact, it is likely that any personal progress he had been making with recovering had not only been hindered but completely undone by the events that transpired after his return to the Enterprise. But do not worry Jim. As soon as I arrive, I believe I will be able to undo the damage done."
"Thank you," Kirk said in a quiet voice. "I'll tell everyone that you're on your way."
"One more thing before you go," Prime added. "I will need you to have Spock sedated before I arrive." Kirk gave Prime a bewildered look. "Sedated? You do remember that the only reason we had Spock sedated in the first place was because he had been distracted by the lieutenant he was beating up, right?"
"I am aware of that," Prime said. "That does not change the fact that in order for me to evaluate his mental state he will need to be sedated."
"And how do you expect me to do that?"
Prime smiled one last time and said, "You are Captain James Tiberius Kirk. I'm sure you'll think of something."
Before Kirk could retort, Prime ended the transmission from his end. Kirk curled his hands into fists and slammed them on the desk in front of him. He screamed internally. Damn that cheeky Vulcan! This isn't the first time he's pulled this shit on me! Huffing, he pushed away from his desk and left the room. If he had to sedate Spock, he was going to need a major dose from Doctor McCoy, and probably some body armor from security.
Gabriel sat in the back of his containment cell staring blankly out into space. He had grown weary of the lack of a view he was left with to stare at. There wasn't even a proper place for him to sit, so he was stuck with either standing, sitting, or laying on the floor. He wondered how long he would be stuck in the brig. If the lieutenant died, he'd probably be sent back to Earth to stand trial in front of Starfleet. He secretly wished that would happen if for no other reason than to provide him with different scenery.
To his delight, part of a mustard-colored shirt entered his view outside of his cell. Soon the bearer of the shirt was revealed as the blond-haired, blue-eyed captain of the Enterprise. His lips curled up into a dark smile as he rose up from the floor. He wondered if the intrepid captain had found a way to thwart him. Knowing him as he did, he was almost certain that he had.
"Open the barrier and close it as soon as I enter the cell," Kirk said, staring straight at Gabriel. The security guard closest to Kirk gave him a concerned look. "Sir, I don't think that's a good idea. If you go in there alone, we can't protect you."
Giving the security guard a fierce look, Kirk said, "I believe I gave you a direct order." The guard gulped and quickly flipped the switch to drop the barrier. He watched carefully as Kirk crossed the threshold and entered the cell. As soon as he had cleared the point where the barrier lay, the guard quickly switched the barrier back on before Gabriel could attempt to leave. But Gabriel made no move to escape when the barrier disappeared. No, he was far too interested in what it was Kirk had up his sleeve. He remained rooted in place, letting the captain approach him.
"Come to pay me a visit?" Gabriel said, his voice rich with mockery. Kirk didn't take the bait. In an even tone, he said, "Yeah, I have. I got a question for you, Gabriel. Why did you take over Spock's body?"
Gabriel laughed in Kirk's face, relishing the fury he saw swirling in his crystal blue eyes. "Oh really Jim, do you really have to ask me such a question? If you must know, I'll answer your question with another question. Why do detainees attempt to escape from prison? It's simple. They don't like being held captive. They don't like having their right to live freely stripped from them. They don't like seeing the world through a tiny window, constantly wondering what all they're missing. That's why I took over Spock's body. I was tired of being pushed aside as unimportant, tired of seeing and feeling everything he did but not truly being able to experience it…" He raised a hand and placed it on the smooth, closely shaved cheek of the young captain. "I was tired of not being able to live."
Kirk was surprised to see sadness in the cold, dark eyes that stared back at him. The Vulcan whispered, "You have no idea just how much Spock and I both love you. Even if I had a hundred years alone with you, I still couldn't show you just how much you mean to me. Spock tries so hard to conceal it, thinking it's improper and wrong. But I see it for what it real is: a thing of beauty, something so precious and pure that the entire universe should bear witness to it."
"I can't stand not being able to hold you, to touch you, to love you with every fiber of my being." A single tear fell from Gabriel's face. "It's not fair. He and I share the same body, but I'm the one who gets brushed aside. He only embraces our father's world; I'm the only one who acknowledges and appreciates everything that our mother sacrificed for us."
"That's not true," Kirk said, wiping away the tear from Gabriel's face. The fury he had felt just moments before had melted away into nothingness as he saw the face of the man he loved filled with such anguish. "He does acknowledge it, and he appreciates it more than you see."
Gabriel shook his head. "The Spock you know and the Spock I fight with on a daily basis are two separate entities. The Spock you know if the entity caught in the crossfire between me and his Vulcan half. The Spock I know is a juvenile who knows nothing more than logic and knowledge." Kirk's heart skipped a beat as he remembered what Prime had told him during their transmission. Mind melding with one who had never known more than the pursuit and acquiring of knowledge made me realize that I am not capable of living my life as solely a Vulcan or a human. Prime may have overcome his one-dimensional view of the world, but it was clear that Spock still had a long way to go before he could too.
"I know that Spock is trying his best to merge the two of us into one so that he can truly be complete," Gabriel continued. "But as he is now, he's not strong enough to do it. Until he can come to accept both me and his Vulcan side equally, he'll never be able to merge us. Besides, I have no desire to merge with that cold Vulcan half, not until I'm satisfied. Not until I've had you for myself Jim."
Gabriel raised his hands to Kirk's face and pulled him close. To Kirk's surprise, the kiss that had been planted on his lips was not forceful or violent; it was sweet and gentle. The desire and passion that resided within both Gabriel and Spock came through loud and clear without harshly mashing their lips together. Hesitantly, Kirk raised his arms and pulled Gabriel's body closer to him, allowing himself to enjoy the kiss. The security officers noticed they had become unusually quiet and peeked inside the cell. The moment they saw Kirk and what seemed to be Spock kissing, they quickly turned away and immediately regretted looking.
They broke their kiss, both gazing deeply in the other's eyes. Gabriel smiled sadly, knowing that what Kirk saw wasn't really him, but Spock. "I envy him. In keeping me buried for so long, the man you've fallen in love with isn't me, it's him."
Kirk shook his head. "No. I don't love one part or another. I love each and every part of Spock. And that includes you." Tears fell from Gabriel's eyes. Breathless, he said, "You're just saying that." Kirk leaned in and kissed Gabriel again, causing more tears to pour down his face. He put all of the love he held in his heart into the kiss. Pulling away again, he said, "You know that's not true."
Laughing, Gabriel said, "I think I envy you more than I envy Spock. You're able to show your emotions so freely. Even when you're on duty as captain, your emotions are your strongest suit. You don't know what I'd give to be human like you."
"It's not all it's cracked up to be," Kirk said with a smile. His smile faded as he moved his hand to his utility belt. "I'm sorry Gabriel."
"For what?" Gabriel asked, a confused look on his face.
Kirk swiftly pulled the hypo out of his utility belt and injected it straight into Gabriel's neck. His shock-filled eyes flew open for a moment then dropped closed. Kirk wrapped his arms around him to keep his limp body from falling onto the floor. With a sad voice, Kirk said, "For that." Rotating the Vulcan's body, he scooped him up into his arms like he had just days ago and turned back toward the entrance of the cell.
"Hey!" he yelled as he kicked at the barrier. The two security guards cautiously looked into the cell and saw Kirk standing with a now unconscious Spock in his arms. "Open up!" The guard nearest to the switch quickly lifted the barrier and watched in surprise as Kirk carried Spock out of the cell. His mouth worked as if he were about to say something, but when he caught the look on Kirk's face, he promptly shut it. Whatever it was the captain was doing he had no business inquiring about it.
As he walked Spock's body to sick bay, he fought the tears that threatened to fall. "Don't worry," he whispered, turning his head and placing a gentle kiss on the Vulcan's forehead. "Everything will be alright soon."
Kirk stood in the transporter room, fidgeting anxiously as he awaited the arrival of Spock Prime. Scotty pressed on the controls and said, "I got a lock on 'im, Captain. Preparing to beam 'im aboard." A few more controls were pressed, creating a low whine that steadily rose in pitch. Scotty moved a hand to the slider and pushed it forward. The teleporter pad across from where he and Kirk stood began to glow with bright white swirling light. Seconds later, the body of Spock Prime stood before them, his arms clasped tightly behind his back.
"Captain," he said, giving Kirk a nod in greeting before stepping off the platform. Kirk rushed over to him, relief flooding over him. "Thank God you're finally here," he said. "Spock is sedated like you requested. He's currently resting in the sick bay, strapped down to the medical bed in case the sedative wears off before you arrived. We can make our way there now if you don't mind."
"Of course not," Prime said. "Time is certainly of the essence."
The two walked in silence until they reached sick bay. Once inside, Prime saw some of the damage that Spock had caused. Lieutenant Azrael lay barely breathing on one medical bed, while a covered body lay on another. His eyes finally met with Spock, who was being carefully monitored by Doctor McCoy. McCoy saw the older Spock and felt his jaw go slack. "My God," he said. "He's the splitting image of Spock!"
"Of course, Doctor McCoy," Prime said, "I am Spock."
McCoy's mouth closed and formed a frown. "Yeah, that's Spock alright."
Kirk and Prime made their way to Spock's still body. Prime placed his both of his hands on Spock's face, making sure to put each finger in the proper place to perform a meld with him. He closed his eyes and looked deep into Spock's mind. His eyes flickered beneath his lowered eyelids rapidly. Moments later his eyes flew open. Collecting himself, he turned to face McCoy and Kirk.
"The separation of personalities is worse than I thought," Prime said. "Each personality now exists as its own entity in Spock's mind. The Spock that we know of is being held captive by his human side, and his Vulcan side is severely damaged. It seems as though his human side is battling for dominance over the other two and is succeeding. If I don't do something, and quickly, the Spock we all know will cease to exist."
Kirk and McCoy shared a mortified look. Kirk grabbed Prime's shoulders tightly. "Please, please help him. We can't afford to lose him. I can't afford to lose him." Sighing, Prime said, "There is something I can do, but I will need to discuss it with the rest of your commanding officers. If you could bring Mr. Scott, Lieutenant Uhura, Mr. Sulu, and Mr. Chekhov to the conference room, I can go in greater detail."
"Why do we need the rest of them?" Kirk asked. Closing his eyes, Prime said, "There is far too much to explain to have to do it more than once. Just trust me and gather everyone in the conference room."
After giving the elder Vulcan a skeptical look, he nodded and moved to the intercom. Pressing the button, Kirk announced to the ship. "This is Captain Kirk speaking. Will Lieutenant Uhura, Mr. Chekhov, Mr. Sulu, and Mr. Scott please report to the conference room immediately? I repeat, Lieutenant Uhura, Mr. Chekhov, Mr. Sulu, and Mr. Scott, please report to the conference room immediately." Releasing the button, Kirk turned to Prime, who nodded in satisfaction. He walked out of sick bay, leaving Kirk and McCoy. They looked at each other, shrugged, and then followed promptly after.
"You are all aware of Spock's current status," Prime said. He stood before the six remaining commanding officers in the conference room, arms clasped behind his back and he walked back and forth. He was unfortunately very aware of the tension in the room. Everyone was worried about Spock, and rightfully so. Their initial reactions to seeing an older version of Spock had waned, overshadowed with the direness of the situation. "I can help him, but the only way possible not only involves the assistance of everyone here, but will put my life, Spock's life, and Captain Kirk's life in grave danger."
Everyone in the room gasped, including Kirk. McCoy stood up and slammed his hands on the table. "Now hold on you green-blooded old coot! Why the hell is Jim's life being put on the line as well?"
Looking stonily at McCoy, Prime responded, "Because Spock and Captain Kirk love each other." Everyone's attention was on Kirk now. Kirk simply dropped his head and blushed. "Captain Kirk's love for Spock is the only thing that can help Spock right now. I will perform a version of the fal-tor-pan, which was used on me to fuse my katra, my soul, back to my body. There's not enough time to go into detail of the circumstance in which the ceremony was performed on me, but I can assure you that it requires Spock, Captain Kirk, and myself. I will fuse my mind and the captain's mind with Spock's. From there, we will attempt to merge the multiple personalities into one and return Spock to his former self."
"What makes this so unusual is the sheer amount of power that is required from the performer of the ceremony. This is where the rest of you come in. You all have some level of affection for both the captain and Spock. I will need to utilize your desires to restore Spock to his former self and to see them both safe and sound in order to perform the ceremony. In other words, the sheer power of your combined emotions is what will fuel this ceremony. What makes this so dangerous is that three minds will be linked together. Should we fail in the combination of Spock's inner personalities, the three of us could possible perish in the process."
"I cannot possibly ask you to put your captain and first officer in such danger. Only if you all agree to it will I perform the ceremony." Everyone looked at each other, unsure if they could take such a risk. However, if this was the only way to help Spock, they were all ready to take the chance.
Scotty was the first to speak up. "Ye've got my approval. I'll do anything I can ta help."
"I'm in," said Sulu.
"Me too," said Chekhov.
"You don't even have to ask me," Uhura said. "I want Spock back to his old self more than anything else in the universe."
McCoy looked around hesitantly then said, "I don't think Jim would forgive me if I didn't agree to help. Besides, the hobgoblin's grown on me. The ship wouldn't be the same without him."
Kirk stood from his seat and nodded. "I don't know if I'll be as helpful as you say, but I'd gladly put my life on the line if I can help Spock. I'd rather die trying to save him than live without him."
Prime smiled and took a moment to look at everyone in the room. Though this was a different universe and he was staring at slightly different versions of his old comrades, he saw the same fiery spirit within them all. Whether they realized it or not, they were a family, and when one was in danger, they all joined forces to help. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Then we shall move to sick bay and prepare for the ceremony."
Leading the charge once again, Spock left the room, slowly followed by Scotty, Sulu and Chekhov. McCoy and Uhura rose from their chairs and went to stand by Kirk. They both put a hand on his shoulder and stared at him. Giving him a look of assurance, they walked out with him. Though they still had their lingering opinions about Kirk and Spock's relationship, they kept them to themselves. At that moment, Kirk was in desperate need of support, and they offered it wholly and willingly.