Disclaimer: Hi everyone, here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy it. Thanks to everybody who reviewed the first chapter it keeps me going. Again i do not own anything regarding Dawson's Creek. Thanks
Choices
"Pacey", in a whisper as I start to back up. "Pacey are you crazy"? "No I'm not, I…. I think for the first time I actually know what I want". He starts to move toward me and I panic but never moving my eyes from his own. "Joey I've been in love with you since I was 15 and I was always to scared to tell you because you have been my best friend since before I can remember and I thought it would pass". I turn to walk away, I think to myself "I have to get out of here", but before I have the chance to get away he grabs my arm and forces me to stay and hear the rest."But I didn't pass; it wasn't something I out grew. Its something I've hidden for so long and I just can't hide it anymore". He reaches up to touch my face but before I could speak, "Hey you guys, what are you doing out here"?
He drops my arm and I spin around to see Jen standing there. "Pacey, your future wife is asking for you. She doesn't want to spend your entire engagement party alone you know". He doesn't look at me before heading inside; leaving me there to process. Jen comes over to me and puts her arm around my shoulders as she's done for the past 10 years. "Hi ya girlie", I can already tell she's hit the open bar a few times. "Hey", I say as I try to control myself but my voice breaks and she knows something's up. "What's the matter"? "Oh nothing", I lie. I'm just a little sad you know that Christopher couldn't be here". I say as I stare down at my hands. "That's not what the matter is Joey, I know that look". "No really Jen, its cause I miss him, it's nothing; he's not here and with all the romance is in the air is just getting to me that's all". I take a few steps up towards the French doors that lead into the party. I look inside at the suppose happy couple and Pacey is looking right at me. Jen notices and turns me away from his gaze. "Oh my god", "what"? I ask nervously.
"That's what is the matter". I try to chuckle but she can see right through me, she always could. "What are you talking about"? She stepped back from me to make sure she had a good look at my face. "He told you didn't he". "What, who told me what"? "Yep he told you, I can see it, he told you he loves you". She started to pace around the patio making me more nervous. I find myself surprised to know she knew this. Was she listening? She knew and I couldn't deny it. She stops and looks me in the eyes to hear the truth from me. "Yeah he did". "Oh this is great JUST great". She starts to pace around the patio again. I, myself am starting to get freaked out. Not wanting to get into this now of all places I quickly turn her around so she is looking right at me.
"Stop, you are freaking out for nothing". She looks at me with glazed over eyes and I'm not so sure if it's the alcohol. "Am I? am I"?. "YES; you need to calm down. Lets get through this party. There is nothing I can do at the moment so I just need you to keep this to yourself". "Well what are you going to do"? The "take charge Josephine Potter kicks in and I start to rationalize the situation. "I'm going to go into that room, get my best friend and myself a drink and then I'm going to toast Pacey and Natalie. And then I'm going slip out and leave". "Why on earth would you leave"? I turn to find Jack standing behind me and coming over to give his girlfriend Jen a quick kiss hello. "Um… I have to get an early start out of here, I have a novel to read through and edit, you know". He gives me a sheepish look and notices Jen's nervousness and knows what's really going on.
"Oh my god, he told you, I cannot believe he told you". He throws his hands up. "Here of all places". I look at him in disbelief and put my hands over my face. Then my shock turns to anger. "What the hell, did he tell everyone but me? How long have you known about this"? Jack puts his hand on my shoulder. "Well Its not that hard to see Joey". "You have got to be kidding me". I start to panic and know I need to go. I look around to try and find my purse. "That's it I have to get out of here, I'm going back to the hotel and going home. I can't stay here". I turn to leave and Jen stops me. "Hey you cant run away from this". Jack starts chimes in "what do you have to say"? "What do you want me to say; I don't know what to say Jack. I haven't thought of him like that in 12 years. I have a boyfriend and he's getting married. So I don't really know what to say", I put my hands on my forehead trying to figure this all out.
"I just… I just have to go. I'll call you guys okay. I have to get out of here". I gave them a quick hug and turn to leave. I made it all the way to my car before I heard his voice calling after me. "Joey you just can't leave". "Yes Pacey, I can". Before I can get into my car, he grabs my arm. "Please say something, you must have SOMETHING to say". I look him in the eyes and say the only thing that I could. "Why now? Why here"? I point to the country club. "You have a room full of people expecting you to marry someone who is not me". I pause for a moment and I am surprised that I have tears in my eyes. "You have a room full of people who think you LOVE someone who is not me". He runs his hand down from my elbow and entertwines his fingers with mine. "Jo please don't run away". I take a few deep breaths and as I do there's that feeling in my stomach. The one feeling I hadn't felt in such a long time. But I push it aside and as I look up at him, I see his eyes glisten with tears yet to fall. "I need to leave and right now you have to let me go". "I can't just let you go without knowing whether or not you feel the same". "I don't know what I think, I stop to wipe a tear that has escaped and I grab a hold of his hand holding mine and drop it to the side. "but in this moment Pacey;….right now, you have to let me go".