Disclaimer: I do not own anything from or about Dawson's Creek.
A/N: Sorry for the delay i have just started a new job so they are sucking up all my time. But i have a set schedule so i should be able to update at east once a week. Here is Pacey's point of view in the story and his revelation. Enjoy!!
Relief comes with a price
All the way to her house my nerves were all jumbled. I knew I had to do this but I couldn't help but feel so guilty and culpable. Driving down the road I got lost not only in my train of thoughts but also in my excitement. I mean, don't get me wrong I knew that I was about to do something so awful. But I couldn't help feeling that I finally knew what I wanted and for the first time in my life I was actually setting out to get it no matter what it cost me or anyone else. Pulling up to her house was when it hit me. It was like a ton of bricks hitting me all at once. I turned off the engine in her driveway just staring at her house. She lived near the yaht club, which her family was members of.
The light blue house with dark blue shutters seemed to taunt me as I sat there trying to think of how I should tell her that I couldn't marry her. I put my head down to take a deep breath and when I looked up there she was in the doorway. "Its now or never." I said to myself before getting out and walking into an earthquake. Walking up she didn't even let me get to the door. "Pacey my darling what are you doing here?" She said running and hugging me. "We are having a family brunch, I was going to call you this afternoon but here you are and such a wonderful surprise I might add." She leaned in to kiss me but I quickly turned my head.
Sensing my discomfort, "What's wrong?" She said it in a joking tone but I couldn't lighten the mood at all. "Um, Nat I have to tell you something." "Well it will have to wait, come inside all of my family is still here."
Pulling me through the door I started to feel nauseas. Really, how could I do this with her whole family here? Walking in I felt like such a stranger. I had been in her house millions of times but now I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. All her fancy furniture was mocking me telling me I no longer belonged. By the time we reached the back yard, everyone was sitting under a white thin tent being drenched in conversation. Money this and money that.
"Pacey my boy how good too see you." Her dad came up and shook my hand followed by her mother. "Pacey it's so great of you to stop by, come and have some breakfast." She motioned for me to sit next to Natalie but I couldn't sit I had to tell her or I was going to burst. "Thank you Mrs. Boyd but I actually need to steal Nat away for a few minutes." "Oh of course, but remember no hanky panky before the big day."
Everyone laughed in their usually uppity wealthy laugh as I took Natalie's hand and led her to the other side of the house near the kitchen. "Pacey don't you think that was rather rude? I mean seriously we have plenty of time to talk about the wedding. We only got engaged two weeks ago."
"Natalie this isn't about the wedding, I mean it is but not in the sense you might think." "What are you talking about here, you're starting to make me nervous." I pulled out a chair at the table, "Please sit down."
"You're not having second thoughts here are you because we can talk about this." She pulls me to sit next to her. "Pacey everyone gets nervous." I put my hand up to stop her. "Can I talk for just one second please?" Saying that in the nicest way possible.
I took a deep breath before looking up at her. "I can't marry you. I'm in love with someone else. I know this is so utterly horrible to say but I can't be with you anymore."
She just looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, her face was so motion less. Nothing. No anger, no tears, for several minutes she just sat there. "Please Natalie, say something." She looked down at her hands before looking me straight in the eyes shaking her head. "Why are you doing this? I love you, we're getting married."
"I know we were supposed to get married but I had a revelation last night that has been stirring in my soul before you and I even met. And I…I just cant be with you. I don't know what to say really. Except that I am so very sorry. I just cant love you the way you want me too." Now she started to let her emotions show, letting tears fall so easily.
"You take 3 years of my life and then just push everything aside like it doesn't even matter?" "I can't tell you how very sorry I am. Because I am Nat so very truly truly sorry but I just cant pretend to be someone I'm not. I do care for you but SHE is my world." She shocked me with the next set of questions.
"Who Pacey? Who are you in love with?" "I'd rather not tell you, lets just cut ties Nat, and I don't belong in your world." "You don't belong in my world?" She stood up and was yelling down at me. "WHO? I have a right to know who Pacey!"
Looking down at the ground I mumbled, "Joey" She stared at me with wide eyes. She said just above a whisper as another batch of tears began to fall. "Joey, as in your best friend?" "Yes, that Joey" She started yelling at me again.
"I can't believe this, you ungrateful, pathetic excuse for a man. You don't propose to one woman and then two weeks later say 'oh sorry I changed my mind but I never loved you and I don't want to marry you'." I got up and went over to her but her backing away from me told me to keep my distance. " I didn't say I never loved you." "Right you just didn't love me enough."
With those piercing words her father Jim walked into the kitchen. Concerned he said, "What is going on in here? We can hear you all the way across the house outside." Going over to Natalie he said, "Pumpkin what is it? What's going on?" He cooed her as if she was a small child, and in the circumstances it made me sick to my stomach. She looked over at me with swollen, wet eyes.
"Go ahead Pacey tell him what's wrong." I felt so scared for my life at that moment. I knew things were just getting started. "Natalie I think I should go, again I'm so very sorry." Her father stopped me.
"What have you done?" The tone in his voice made it clear he knew exactly what was going on. "You're leaving my daughter?" I turned around but before I could open my mouth, I felt his fist come in contact with my face. Square across the chin. I reached up my hands in surrender before he had the chance to swing once more.
"Mr. Boyd, I know I deserve that, but please believe me I never wanted to hurt Natalie. I just thought she deserved to know the truth." "Oh you thought she deserved to know the truth huh? Well lets hear some more truth then Mr. Witter, do tell who is this mystery woman?"
By this time all of the other members of the family had gathered around to witness the situation. "Joey Daddy, he's leaving me for Josephine Potter." He father looked at me and laughed.
"That's absurd Pacey. But please let me get this straight instead of spending the rest of your life with my beautiful, talented, accomplished princess you would rather shack up with a lowlife, trailer trash whore whose OWN convict daddy wants nothing to do with her?" That was all it took, I lunged at him in a split second. I know I had gotten in a few hits before waking up behind bars.