Relapse
A/N: Sorry, super busy. Writers block also.
Relapse
Chapter 3
"I'm sorry Chlo... I know I promised but.. I.." A sob escapes my mouth. Chloe very lightly kisses my wrist and rolls my sleeve back down. Tears are streaming down her face.
I had done it. I had broken the only promise I made to Chloe. Chloe Beale, the girl that makes things all okay.
"Shhhh, Beca it's okay baby." She lays down and wraps me in her arms, gently stroking my hair. After I've calmed down, we don't speak. She doesn't pry and attempt to figure out what's going on in my head. She doesn't even leave. She just keeps stroking my hair until I fall asleep.
.
"Hey Becs.." I'm lightly shaken from my slumber. "It's time to wake up baby." I open my eyes and immediately remember the previous night. I'm still laying in Chloe's arms. She's still stroking my hair. The only thing different from the way we fell asleep is the absence of my hoodie. It was discarded and thrown on the floor, leaving me in only a sports bra. I must've looked confused, because Chloe spoke up.
"You took it off in the middle of the night.." She whispers.
I do that a lot. I get hot in the middle of the night and just throw my clothes on the ground. Good thing I left my bottoms on.
She opens her mouth to speak again, but I stop her.
"Not now. Please?" My voice is groggy. She nods in understanding. I untangle myself from her and stand. I'm not really feeling the whole 'going to school' thing, but I guess I'll go. Take my mind off of things. After a brief stretch, I make my way over to the bathroom, but before I can make it, my dad enters the room.
"Rebeca, it's time to- Oh you're awake. Good." He peers around me and sees Chloe. "Morning Chloe." He says, like she lives here or something. She stays over a lot so it isn't a big deal to him. With that, he shuts my door and leaves.
I'm still frozen in place. I take a few deep breaths and cross my mutilated arms across my chest. That was close. If my idiot for a father ever paid any attention, he would've noticed. The pink and white scars are barely noticeable compared to the angry fresh cuts adorning my wrist.
I jump when I feel someone rest their hand on my shoulder. I turn around, with her hand still in place, and she is giving me a reassuring smile. After giving her a tight-lipped smile, I look down at the floor. I try to focus on my toes, the way they're painted black. I wonder what she thinks of me... I uncross my arms and start to twindle my thumbs. She probably thinks I'm weak. I knit my eyebrows together in thought. I am weak. I'm weak, and stupid, and- My thoughts are interrupted as Chloe squeezes lightly with her hand stationed on my shoulder and stops my thumbs with her free hand.
"Hey, you okay?" She asks. I don't say anything, just continue staring at my small feet. I wish she wouldn't ask me that.. Would an okay person voluntarily mutilate themselves?
"Becs?" She says. I still don't speak. I don't really have anything that I want to say. We both know I'm lying if I say yes. However, if I say no then she might pry. So I stay silent. Not a word. I just continue staring at my feet, following the veins in them up to my toes. I stare at the chipped black paint on my toenails like it's the most interesting thing I've ever seen. I give my toes a slight wiggle.
A moment passes and it gets awkward. Chloe's retracted her hand from its place on my shoulder. It was now hanging loosely at her side.
"Beca, please. Please say something!" What is there to say?
"Something." I murmur, failing in an attempt to lighten the mood. She isn't amused.
"No, Beca. You aren't getting out of this one." I can feel her stare. Another moment passes. "Just tell me why?" Her voice cracks at the end of her sentence, and I feel bad. Bad for being a burden. Bad for putting her through this. Bad for being me. I let out a heavy sigh.
"Maybe later..." I mutter, and go into the bathroom. What I didn't expect was Chloe following me. In the bathroom, I sit on the edge of the tub and rest my head in my hands. "Chlo, I need to shower."
"Go ahead." She says. Sighing, I strip my clothes. She's seen it all before I suppose. Maybe not all at once, but it's whatever.
I turn on the shower and step in, closing the see-through curtain and letting the warmth of the spray envelope me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Chloe take out my straightener and plug it in. I assume it's for herself, since I don't ever really straighten my hair. I start to wash off and get lost in my thoughts again.
After getting cleaned, I step out and find clothes layed out for me but no sign of Chloe. Huh. Guess she left... I look at my cabinet which holds my razor. Good. I quickly put on the underwear and bra laid out for me and open said cabinet. Soon, I stare down at the fleshy canvas of my arm and press the razor down. Before a slice can be made, the door swings open.
"Shit!" I snap my head to the doorway to see Chloe, who's wearing a concerned look on her face. She rushes over to me and takes my razor before I can move.
"I thought you were gone.." I say. "I thought you left." Staring at my feet again.
"No Beca. I didn't leave, and i'm not going to any time soon." Her tone is sympathetic but her body language isn't. Her hands are set firmly at her hips with her feet shoulder width apart. A moment passes and I stand, moving into my room. Chloe follows. Remembering that i'm half naked, I throw on a t-shirt.
"I'm not going to school. Sorry for not wearing what you put out for me." I crawl into bed and curl into a ball, throwing the covers over my head. Since school isn't on the agenda, I plan on crying all day. Maybe all week.
I hear a small sigh and some shuffling. Next, I feel a dip in my bed.
"Becs... I understand that you don't want to go to school. I know I said that I'd never leave, but I have to go." She peels the blanket from atop my head and gingerly kisses my forehead. "I love you Becs... Seeing you like this pains me. I'll be over here right after school, I promise." In seconds, I hear my door click shut.
.
I haven't really done anything today. Made a few mixes. Ate some pizza rolls. It's 3'oclock, which means Chloe will be here any minute now. And we'll probably discuss my recent pastimes. And inevitably, tears will fall. Fantastic.
By 3:09 I hear my doorbell ring. Why Chlo doesn't just walk in is beyond me, but I reluctantly get up to answer it. Slowly treading down the steps, I near the front door. Taking a deep breath, I open it.
"Hey Chlo." I offer a sad smirk.
"Hey... Uh, can I come in?" Why would she ask that, she practically lives here?
"Yeah of course? Is something wrong?" She gives me a look as she enters the house. "I mean, is something else wrong?" I say, referring to last night. Chloe carelessly tosses her bag on the floor somewhere in the main hallway.
"Becs... Something was happening at school today..." She looks worried. Or is it scared. I let out a huff as I plop down onto the carpeted steps.
"Did someone hurt you?" I clench my fists in anger, because nobody fucking hurts Chloe and gets away with it. "I'll fucking kill anyone who so much as looks at you wrong." My heart rate is rising and I can feel my face getting hot. Next thing I know, Chloe is at my side with her hands intertwined with mine.
"Beca, no. Nobody hurt me." She got up from beside me and instead kneeled on the step in front of me, hands still in mine. "It was about you." I feel my anger dissipate and my previously hot face is draining of blood, leaving me pale.
"Oh." Is all I say. More rumors I suppose. Chloe continues.
"You know that Ryan girl that you threatened? You know how she was spreading lies?" I nod, assuming she's probably just made up another dumb lie. Color returns to my face and I roll my eyes.
"I'm over it. It's in the past." I'm not really over it, but I don't want to think about it as of right now.
"No Becs, listen to this. She... Uh, Ryan was beaten.. Pretty badly actually. Broken nose and ribs. Bruises everywhere." Good.
"Ok, and? What does that have to do with me?" I ask. What she says next enrages me.
"She's telling everyone it was you.. At lunch she told the whole table that after school you followed her home and forced yourself upon her." She pauses and runs a comforting hand down my arm, then starts lightly rubbing my forearm. "She claims that she rejected your move so acting in anger, you beat her." I sigh and slouch against the back of the stair that i'm occupying.
"Okay, that's not too bad I guess." Is is bad, but whatever. I suspect that there's more to the story when Chloe bites her lip and looks down at my exposed forearm.
"That isn't all."
"Darn." I deadpan.
"Apparently she's gathering a group of people to "return the favor"."
"Group of people? What group of people?" I can take a bunch a prissy highschool girls.
"The football team."
A/N: Please review. Criticism very welcome.