A/N Thanks to everyone who has waited so patiently for the remainder of this story, i know it has been a long awaited wait. But i have the final three chapters coming and i will begin to continue on Second Chance. Thanks again and hope you enjoy the ending as much as i did writing it.
Unspeakable Feelings
The entire flight to Paris was too much to handle, the anticipation was just simply unbearable. The pilot came over the intercom, "Bonjour, we will be beginning our decent into Paris in just a few minutes, so I am going to put the safety belt sign on. Please return to your seats as soon as possible". I looked out the window and started to get extremely nervous. I mean don't get me wrong here; I was so happy I was finally doing what I should have done when I was 15 years old. I knew even then that I loved her; the way she looked was just the icing on the cake. The simple way she spoke her mind, or her ability to make you feel you could save the world with one look from her auburn eyes.
The way she moved when she walked, the swing of her hips eluded confidence and stature. She was simply the epitome of what a woman should be and I couldn't believe that I was just moments from telling her all of this and seeing if she felt the same. That last part I was mostly nervous about, if she didn't feel the same way my world would be shattered. There would be no reason for me to continue living. It took me back to a time when I had finally realized Josephine Potter was the woman I loved the most in the world.
It was the summer before I started my sophomore year in high school; Dawson was having us run lines for his latest movie, "Sea Creatures from the Deep". We were all sitting around at the picnic bench by the dock at Dawson's house. "Joey, you know you could add a little enthusiasm to the part". Dawson said as he raised his eyebrow in frustration. "Well I just don't see how this is believable, I have to kiss Pacey, that is just plain wrong." "Geez Potter, way to push a guy when he's down huh?"
I had just broken up with Andy Mcphee; she decided she wanted to explore her physical side with someone other then myself. "Sorry Pacey, I know you are in a downward spiral but you know it'll all turn out okay in the end." All I could do was let out a very heavy sigh." Okay look I know that Pacey is heart broken and Joey you are having a hard time with this whole 'kiss' thing but guys I have a deadline to hit and its not going well" We both looked up at Dawson and then over at Jen. "Alright Dawson why don't you and I go get some waters for everyone and you can calm down just a little and give your actors a break huh." I loved how Jen knew just what to do when any one of us needed her. They walked over to her house and when they were out of sight I laid my head down on the table.
I was not in the position long before I felt her hand on my back. "You know it really is going to be alright Pace." She was rubbing my back trying to sooth me and that's when I looked up at her from the table. She just smiled at me and said, "I know it is because I know you, you are my best friend and I hate seeing you like this. She isn't even worth it. You deserve someone who is going to love you for all that you are, for everything you aren't and for every little quirky thing you say or do." She started to giggle and she put her hand on my cheek. "You know I'm right Pace."
That was it, my heart sank. I knew my life as I knew it was done, over, finished. The way her warm eyes looked into mine, it was as if I was seeing her for the first time. She was my best friend, knew everything about me, my fears, my dreams and now my heartache. "Joey, I…I think I…" I was stopped by Dawson and Jen coming back. He yelled "HOLD IT. That is perfect you guys wait let me go get the camera." Joey dropped her hand from my cheek and I suddenly felt empty inside.
Driving home that day was unbelievable; I was in love with my best friend. I was in love with Joey Potter. Joey Potter, the girl who I knew everything about, from her shoe size to the fact that she loved to put milk duds on her popcorn. I laughed to myself at the absurdity. But then I started to panic and my heart began to race. I couldn't do that, be in love with Joey? That was the moment I decided to push my feelings down before anyone especially Joey could ever find them.
My thoughts were interrupted by the wheels of the plane hitting what I though was the runway, I was finally here. I chuckled to myself from my previous day dream. If only I wasn't so stupid I would haven't have lost all this time with her. I would have been the one to hold her, console her…love her. That's when I heard the excruciating scream and felt the swirl of the plane.