Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood nor do I make any money from these works of fiction. The BBC owns Torchwood.
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A/N: Well guys, it's the moment you have all been waiting
for, Ianto's secret past is revealed. Sorry it has
taken soooo long but I have good excuses –cough- I
mean reasons:
a) my friend Mike keeps distracting me
with hilarious banter, lol.
b) I have been really ill for a while.
c) School exams are quite close and finally,
d) I have a case of writer's block. :(
e) I could only write this chapter a little bit at a time because it is really long and the plot bunnies keep biting and slightly changing what happens.
FYI: I dedicate this story to my friend's in Mr M's room at my school. We always hang about in there at lunch and break; there are about 30 of us. Sort of sad yes but it is always banter-full and Mr Meyer is one of the best tall slightly mad German's I shall ever meet. BTW he is the only tall slightly mad German I know. Lol. : P
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Chapter 7 – Ianto's Secret comes out
Silence resided between the two men again. Ianto turned slightly to get a better look at Jack.
"You can leave" Ianto said it quietly and avoided looking at Jack. Jack opened his mouth to argue but Ianto put his index finger lightly against Jack's lips to silence him.
"Any time you want to leave me you can, I would never trap you here with me" Ianto's voice was quiet and soft.
"Ianto I will never ever leave you, I don't care what you did in the past, and I will always, always love you"
Silence again fell between the two of them.
"Where can we go, so we can be alone and so I can tell you what happened." Ianto eventually looked Jack in the eyes, they were the deepest blue and Jack's pain and age were shown in them clearly even if his face didn't show what he really felt.
"We'll go to a hotel across the border in Scotland, have dinner and when we get back to the room you can tell me whatever you want, err…only if you want to of course" Jack looked unsure for a moment, something which didn't happen that often. Ianto chuckled softly and looked Jack in the eyes.
"Jack I don't care where you take me, wither it's to Splott for a cup of tea or wither it's to Hackney or any other place, as long as it's just me and you I won't care. I really won't."
Jack looked at Ianto, surprise clearly showed on his face which then turned in to a wide grin that was all so familiar to Ianto.
"You really want to go to Splott?"
"Well no but it was the first place that popped into my head"
Jack laughed for the first time in a while.
"Why? What's wrong with Splott?" Ianto frowned at Jack.
"Nothing is wrong with Splott; I just wondered why you mentioned it. That was all"
Ianto nodded. "Fair enough"
It began to get dark outside. Jack and Ianto had been quiet for a while. Ianto was worrying about the state of the Hub at present and the even worse mess and attempt of "cleaning" or hiding the mess. Jack however was thinking about all the things he would and could and will do to Ianto.
There was a few more minutes of silence until Ianto broke it.
"Shouldn't we get moving, it's getting dark."
"Hmmm...What…err yes we should" Jack coughed. Ianto raised his eyebrow at Jack but said nothing, sometimes you just really don't want to know what Jack is thinking.
Jack started up the car and they both put there seatbelts on and Jack drove.
"Where are we going?"
"Well…there is a nice little hotel I know in Scotland, very romantic" Ianto glanced out of the corner of his eye at Jack and there he was looking right at Ianto, eyebrows raised and grinning.
* * * *
5 and a half hours later the S.U.V pulled up outside a hotel called the Knight Residence. It was a five star hotel not far from the city and rather than rooms it was apartments, yet still a hotel.
They signed in under different names, just in case Tosh, Owen or Gwen decided to look for them. After they had settled in…ish, Ianto was lying on the double bed when suddenly he realised something and began to laugh like he would never stop. Jack was looking at all the free things from the bathroom when he heard the manic laughter, he ran through and say Ianto rolling on the bed laughing manically whilst clutching his sides. Jack took hold of Ianto's arms and held them down.
"Ianto! What is it?" Ianto could hardly talk for laughing but managed to pull it together to giggle out.
"We've…no" More hysterical giggles from Ianto "clothes". Again Ianto collapsed into giggles and then as suddenly as they started they stopped. Tears were still running down Ianto's face. Jack looked very bewildered, the sort of look he had when Ianto confronted him about paperwork which he hadn't done.
"Ahh" was all Jack said as he frowned. "I didn't think about that…easily solved however as I have the Torchwood credit card" Ianto sat up as if electrocuted.
"Jack! That's for business expenses"
"So doesn't this count as business?"
"No!"
"Yeah well still, I'll find away for it to be business" Ianto rolled his eyes at Jack and thought no doubt but it'll be me that does the paperwork for it.
"Yan?" Jack was watching Ianto trying to assess how he was, so far he had come up with the result of nothing. Ianto had returned to his normal self, as far as Jack could tell. Ianto looked up at Jack as he was still sitting on the bed and he smiled and said
"Yes Jack" as if nothing had happened. Jack was a really worried because of the way Ianto had suddenly reverted to normal. Jack decided to play it cool and to try and not annoy Ianto any more.
"Do you wanna talk?"
"What about?" Again Ianto was bright and cheery and there was no hint of the panic or sadness there had been a few hours ago.
"Anything you want" Jack's voice quavered slightly and he hoped Ianto didn't notice, if he did then Ianto never said anything.
"I think I ready to tell you Jack, all about what happened, I really hope you aren't to angry with me" Ianto's voice had went really quiet again and Jack had to really listen to what was being said to hear it all.
Ianto cleared his throat took a deep breath and began.
"It all began 10 years ago, when I was sixteen, I was brought up as a devout catholic, straight A student, respectable, never did anything remotely bad, equally as perfect girlfriend. At this time in my life I never ever thought about alcohol or drugs or…boys." Ianto let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. Jack was grinning and Ianto looked very angry at this, Jack's grin faded immediately. And in a tone very un-Jack-ish and said "Continue". Ianto looked confused for a moment and laughed slightly.
"Well…I got fed up being good all of the time; I got picked on by everyone, even younger children. When I tried to tell my parents of course they told me I was being silly and just to ignore them. I tried my best but eventually I snapped, I knew where the bad kids at school hung about, dodging class, drinking and generally being rebellious. I begged them to teach me how to be bad and to be rebellious, they thought it was really funny and eventually agreed, although I had to give them my lunch money every day for 6 months and I did. They taught me how to lie and steal and cheat, I kept up the pretence of being good to my parents, Guin and my older brother Jasper tried to calm me down and become normal again, then again they were hypocritical, Jasper refused to go to anything to do with religion, this really upset my parents. Guin followed Catholicism, sort of, and generally was a bit bad but nothing like what I turned out to be later on."
Ianto drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them; he could feel all the old emotions of guilt, sorrow and shame bubbling to the surface. Memories he hadn't thought of for years which had lain repressed began to float to the surface.
Jack was silent when Ianto was talking, he didn't want to interrupt Ianto and for Ianto to stop talking if he interrupted. Ianto looked at Jack with his eyes full of sorrow.
"Do you want to hear more?" Ianto's voice had gone quiet again.
"Yes" Jack's voice sounded very loud because of the quietness of the hotel room and the quietness of Ianto's voice. Ianto shuddered slightly. Jack sat down next to Ianto on the bed and wrapped his arm around Ianto's waist, pulling them closer together. Ianto shut his eyes and continued with his story.
"One of the first times I got completely drunk, I kissed a…" Ianto let out a small strangled sob of misery and Jack rubbed Ianto's back trying to comfort him, wishing to take Ianto's pain away. But he knew that in order for Ianto to get over what happened in his past he would have to tell someone and Jack was pleased it was him. He would trust Ianto with his life and now Ianto was trusting Jack with his past. Ianto cried silently for a few minutes and eventually calmed down a bit.
"Are you ready to tell me more?" Jack whispered in a soft and lulling way, trying to soothe Ianto. Ianto just nodded.
"I had kissed a…boy, the next morning I awoke on my front doorstep; I had managed to make it that far before I passed out. My parents didn't know I was there and my dad almost fell down the stairs because he tripped on me. Mam was furious and although Dad was angry he didn't just shout like Mam did, they never knew at this point that I had kissed a boy. However there was one person who I hadn't counted on being there, Jasper, he saw everything. Jasper was always open minded; of course he was really shocked. Eventually the whole story came spilling out one day, when he asked me about it, I told him I wasn't gay and that I couldn't remember anything about what happened. It was a lie. I could remember kissing that boy. The softness of his lips, they way it felt right. This sparked a war inside me. One half of me told me it was wrong and forbidden and that I didn't like boys except as friends. Where as the other half always reminded about the way it had felt right and how I'd always been taught about how wrong it was." Ianto sighed and willing leaned against Jack rather than being forced there. He sighed again and breathed in the glorious smell of Jack's twenty first centaury pheromones. If Ianto could bottle them up and sell them he could make a fortune, but all the while was so really happy that no one else smelled like Jack. It made him unique and all the more appealing to basically everyone.
Jack kissed Ianto lightly on the top of his head and for the first time in a lot of years (Jack didn't like to think of how many) felt truly content.
"Shall I continue?" Ianto's voice was soft and to Jack it sounded like Ianto wanted to tell him the story rather than Jack talking him into doing it. Jack looked at Ianto for a moment, taking the entire story in and trying to sort out his thought, why was Ianto so worried about this, it wasn't as bad as he seemed to think it was. Ianto frowned at Jack and knew pretty much what he was thinking.
"This is only the beginning, it gets worse. Believe me" Ianto grimaced at the thought of what he was still to tell Jack. Jack saw Ianto grimace and rubbed Ianto's shoulder and kissed him on the top of the head again. Ianto smiled, it was little bit weird of someone to be taking care of him seeing as he had basically looked after himself since the age of sixteen but as the hours wore on Ianto liked it a bit more and felt more relaxed than he had in months.
"Jasp-" There had been silence for a while and when Ianto had started speaking again a little bit suddenly Jack had jumped slightly, he was lost in his thoughts of his adventures with the Doctor and Rose. Ianto chuckled lightly beside him.
"Jack?" Ianto's voice was light and he sounded a lot more like his old self. Jack's spirits rose slightly with Ianto becoming happier already.
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A/N: More of Ianto's past in the next chap but because this is so long and I'm finding it incredibly hard to write, it seemed like the right thing to do. At least you know I'm not dead. Lol
Love from Sam xx