Just wanted to say thank you from both Adarachan and I for all the awesome reviews you all have been leaving, it's greatly appreciated and we're thrilled to hear you've been enjoying the story!
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The visions slowed down for a while after the weird flood, and Sam didn't have a single one in the next four days. The lack of pain and of death somehow made everything seem just a very little bit easier, and even though the world still felt gray and dark and like it was missing something, Sam felt a little less like he wanted to die.
He did everything mechanically, but at least he did it. He ate, he slept, he dreamed, he even said a word or two every once in a while. It all hurt—doing normal things hurt in a way he hadn't expected—but he did it anyway, even if he didn't know why.
Ruby came to see him every day. She was still possessing the doctor, and while he still thought of her as a girl, even while she was in a man's body, it was kind of confusing and sometimes he found himself wishing she would be the blonde girl again. It was probably wrong, wishing that some innocent girl could be possessed so that Ruby would be familiar to him again, but then again, right and wrong seemed more like vague concepts than anything else these days.
So, anyway, Dr. Ruby came to see him every day. (He'd christened her with that nickname before too long had passed, and he never dropped it even though she vehemently opposed it.) And every single day, they argued. Well, she argued, and he half-listened and half-tuned out. Not just about serious things like his inability to deal or his visions—though God knew she had enough to say about that—but also about why he refused to eat his chicken that one time when it looked more like a gray pudding-like blob and how on earth it could possibly matter whether he slept on the bed or on the floor. (Lately he'd been falling asleep where he sat, and he found that for some reason he dreamed less when he slept sitting up. He felt this was significant; she felt he was an idiot.)
But no matter that they couldn't seem to get through one half-hour visit without her blowing up at him—she returned every single day, sometimes multiple times, until Sam actually found himself waiting for her instead of thinking or remembering.
Well, sometimes, anyway.
XXX
"Why do you keep coming back?"
Sam found that he was actually somewhat interested in the answer, and this mildly surprised him. He hadn't been interested in anything in…well, a while, anyway.
"What do you mean?" Ruby asked lightly, tossing the plastic spork Sam had gotten with his lunch absently from hand to hand. She'd noticed it just that day and delighted in it. ("Sporks…greatest invention after French fries. How on earth did I live without this stuff?")
Sam shrugged and kept his eyes locked on the spinning spork—the whirling motion was strangely riveting. "I dunno."
Ruby's hand and the spork stilled suddenly, and Sam looked up to find her staring at him. "Sam, are you…making conversation?"
"…I dunno."
"You are!" Ruby said, suddenly sounding teasing. "You're making conversation with me! I've officially dragged you out of your shell—well, your mouth, at least. Am I awesome or what?"
Sam's face felt a little strange, and he suddenly realized it was because his lips had quirked into a small smile. It felt…nice.
"And to prove how unfailingly wonderful I am, I'll even answer your question," Ruby continued, sounding more like herself than ever. "I keep coming back because…because…" She floundered, and then said, after a long pause, "Actually, I have no idea why I keep coming back. We argue every single day and you're completely incapable of recognizing the fact that I'm always, without exception, right. You're the single most irritating person I've met in at least a century. Why do I keep coming back here?"
"…I dunno."
"Okay, it's time to add a new word, Sam."
"Why?"
"See? Wasn't that fun? Why what?"
"Ruby."
"What?"
"You're yelling again."
"I know that," Ruby said defensively. "You think I don't know when I'm yelling? I do."
"Why are you mad?"
"I'M NOT MAD!"
Sam cocked his head to the side a little as Ruby's voice reached sufficient volume to blow the windows out of the room—if it had windows. "Okay."
Ruby glared at him, seeming to find some great offense in his "okay," and stood up to head straight for the door. She froze suddenly with her hand on the knob and turned. "Hey, you know what? I do believe that's the most you've talked since you got here." She didn't wait for him to think up a reply, but simply said, "See you tomorrow, Sam."
And then she left again, and Sam was left to contemplate the fact that Ruby, no matter what her current incarnation, was apparently a very strange person.
Or…demon.
Thing.
Whatever.
XXX
Sam's next vision hit just as he was dragging himself into his bed that night, and the moment it began, he found himself wishing for his own demise all over again.
A gargantuan space—the biggest space he'd ever seen—extended in front of him, all around him. Chains, long and black, and lightning everywhere. Emptiness and loneliness and endless desolation.
And Dean.
Dean, strung up like a scarecrow, head hanging low, jerking slightly every time the lightning sped its way down the chains binding him and shocked through his body. He didn't yell or scream or make any sound at all—he seemed too tired for that.
And Sam couldn't reach him, couldn't touch him, couldn't get him. He could only watch, and feel the anguish.
The despair.
The regret.
Dean…DEAN!
Dean twitched, only this time Sam hadn't seen any lightning pass down the chains. As he watched, Dean twitched again, and then, slowly, as if there was a great weight hanging around his neck, he lifted his head. His eyes appeared, blank and exhausted, and suddenly he was staring.
Straight at Sam.
The vision vanished from his mind as quickly as it had come, and Sam was sitting straight up, his spine as rigid as if someone had stuck a metal rod in it. He'd forgotten about Ruby and her weirdness, about being afraid, about the hospital being safe—forgotten everything except Dean, and Dean in hell, and Dean being tortured.
God, Dean was being tortured in hell.
And suddenly, Sam just needed to get out.
XXX
When Ruby came to visit before the doctors started their rounds the next morning, she found an empty room waiting for her.