Settling back into research was easier then Sam remembered. Months in the hospital may have dulled him a bit, but as the scent of the old books hit his nose and the laptop flashed before his eyes, he felt it all coming back.
Keys tapped loudly and quickly in the shadowed corned of the motel room, Sam sat at a small desk, the darkness surrounding him except for the light the illuminated from the computer screen.
It was early morning in the small town, the sun was rising outside, its early morning rays unable to penetrate through the thick fabric that were the motels curtains. The air was warm and stuffy, almost feeling good to Sam after all those months in the overly air conditioned hospital, it reminded him of the past, of all the other very similar motels he had once stayed in. But mostly, it reminded him of Dean.
Bobby and him had spent the rest of the night researching, trying to figure out if there was any possible way to retrieve a soul from hell, so far they had found nothing.
Sam sighed heavily and ran frail hands over his haggard face, taking notice to the new facial hair that ran rampant on his chin and cheeks. His stubble was thicker and longer then he could ever remember, an out of place beard beginning to hide his features.
He ran a hand through his hair, letting the long bangs fall and hide his eyes, his hair falling nearly to his shoulders in thick waves.
His eyes were sunken in, dark circles and bags beneath them giving him the appearance of a much older man. His skin was taunt, pale and discolored in many spot as it clung for life to his thin frame. His ribs and hip bones protruded in an unsightly manner, angles jutting from beneath his thin shirt, revealing the months of starvation and malnourishment.
The door opened, warm rays of orange sunlight quickly dashing into the darkness, seemingly trying to brighten Sam's mood, but faltering as the door creaked shut once again. Bobby stepped in, gimp more prominent in the early morning, the pain and stiffness seeming to get the best of him.
He sat down, his breathing more heavy then it should have been, sending a jolt of guilt through Sam's mind, making him visibly wince and pull himself in.
Bobby sent him a glance, pain and worry shining on his eyes as he studied the younger hunter. The sight made Bobby's heart sink in his chest, every memory he had with the boy shredded to pieces as he looked at what used to be one of the greatest hunters he'd ever known. Months in that…that place had made him age well beyond his years, the mental torture he put himself through physically taking a terrible toll on his body. It made Bobby clench his jaw with regret, wish he'd never sent Sammy Winchester to such a horrible place…all because he was scared.
He shook away the thoughts, his mind trying to make sense of the jumble of emotions and return to his original task at hand. The Impala was loaded and ready to go, if they planned on saving Dean they needed to return to his house where all his books were. The drive was only an hour or so, but still, Bobby dreaded the tension that lay ahead for the trip home.
"You ready to head out?" Bobby asked, his voice rough and emotionless, hiding what he really felt.
Sam's head snapped up, his thoughts shattering as the rough voice cut through the stuffy air. He had been thinking about Dean, old habits dying hard as he stared past the computer screen into his childhood, back to the first day Dean and him had hunted together. But he shook that away now, Dean wouldn't be saved with memories.
Bobby sat looking at him with patience, waiting for Sam to gather his few things, the younger hunter was distant as he moved about the room, motions uneasy and almost undetermined. It had been so long since normality had been in Sam's life, that the attempt to go back to it seemed far out of reach, almost impossible.
Things gathered and the mornings light at full peek they left the room, Sam trailing behind Bobby, almost afraid to leave the older mans side. He bit his lip nervously as he realized what was coming, last night they had walked to the motel next door, he hadn't gotten in the Impala. Last time he'd been in the Impala Dean had been by his side…
The glistening black car rose in the distance, seeming to grow larger as they neared it more and more. Sam felt his heart quicken, his palms beginning to sweat as memories flashed in his mind, everything that had been his life sat in front of him…just waiting for him.
Bobby pulled open the door, the familiar creak greeting his ears after months of dullness, he felt hot tears prick his eyes, the little bit of sanity he had gained back threatening to be washed away as he ran away from the car. Yet, he so deeply just wanted to get in and relish in its familiar scent, sit and let the rock music roll.
He swallowed hard and got in, Bobby closing the door and taking the drivers seat. It felt wrong, Sam's gut twitched in displeasure, but he knew there was no other way, he turned his attention to the window and tried not to think about it. It was impossible though, it was unattainable to think of anyone but Dean to be sitting there. It just made Sam sick with emotion.
Sam watched the scenery go by, letting his eyes grow heavy as green trees and lush fields blurred by. The hum of the motor was like a lullaby, beckoning him to sleep as the Impala ate up the miles until at last his eyes closed and sleep came.
The little girl grinned, her white eyes chilling Sam to the bone. In her hands she held a glowing light, it twisted and twirled, almost as if it were struggling against the force that held it, angry to be contained.
"Silly goose, I never share my toys." Her voice, tainted with evil, echoed in Sam's mind for what seemed like forever.
Then Sam looked in the swirling light, and in it he saw Dean chained for all eternity in the hands of Lilith.
Sam snapped awake, gasping for air as he shot up in the passenger seat. His head whipped around, meeting Bobby's shocked eyes.
"I know how we can save him…I know how we can save Dean.