EPOV #7

The dressing room door slams open as Bella attacks me with her mouth and hands.

"Shit, Bella ... wait."

"Sshh! Just ... sit. God!"

She shoves me down onto a chair and wrenches open my jeans. Within seconds she's stroking me. Not that she needs to do much. These days I'm primed and ready to go whenever she's within a two mile radius.

I barely have time open the condom wrapper before she's grabbing it from me and impatiently rolling it on. And then, my eyes roll back into my head because her underpants are off, and she's lifting her skirt and sinking onto me, and God, this feels so fucking good it's insane.

She rides me selfishly, taking what she wants without understanding how difficult she's making it for me to not explode. But I stop myself because her desperation is mesmerizing. She might be the one in control right now, but it's what I do to her that has her like this. My power over her. It's astounding she can even stand to be near me considering what I put her through, but knowing that only I affect her like this makes me supremely freaking smug.

Even if I were trying to stay away from her these days, which I'm absolutely not, I think she'd force us together. This new forceful version of her is unbelievably hot.

She increases her tempo. I'm barely holding on. I'd like to close my eyes so I could concentrate on holding off my orgasm, but then I couldn't watch as she grips my shoulders and throws her head back. She's fucking magnificent. When she comes, it's so freaking strong all I can do is let go and drown in sensation.

The whole thing is over in less than ten minutes. It's not long enough. But then, no amount of time with her is long enough for me these days.

After we clean up, we creep out of the dressing room and make our way across the dark stage and down the stairs. Just before we reach the door, I kiss her. The kiss kind of gets away from me and I'm about to try for round two when we hear Irina yell that break is over. Bella pushes away from me and heads back into the rehearsal room. I wait two minutes and follow her.

For the rest of rehearsal, I'm half-dazed and semi-content. Considering I'm supposed to be playing a drug addict today, it works well.

I know exactly how to play this. Bella is my drug. The more I touch her, the more I need to touch her. The more I have her, the more powerful my craving gets. She's my compulsion.

I've been staring at her all day. Fantasizing. She did Lady Macbeth's monologue in acting class today and was fucking stunning. Her talent. Her heart. All of it turns me on.

At lunchtime, I sit and watch as she laughs with Heidi about something. I've lost track of the conversation because I keep getting distracted by her mouth, or fingers, or eyes, or smile. And as I watch her being so easy and open with our friends, a different type of jealousy builds inside me. It has nothing to do with being afraid of losing her, and everything to do with being fucking terrified of never really having her.

These parts of her - the funny, relaxed, friendly parts - I never get to have them anymore. We're friendly, but not friends. Lovers who are terrified of love.

But I want all of those things with her, and every time we finish having sex, I crave them more.

I want to invite her to my place so I can cook for her. I want to watch movies with her on the couch, and make love to her in my bed. I want to fall asleep with her wrapped around me and wake up to her face in the morning. And most of all, I want her to want all those things, too.

But I never get the chance to ask her because as soon as her orgasm fades, so does she, and before I have time to find any valid excuse to ask her to stay, she's gone.

I know she's like this because of me, but these days she seems to spend a lot of energy getting away from me as fast as she can while trying to make it look like she's not running.

I don't want her to run from me any more. I want her to run toward me.

I just have zero clue how to make that happen.

Thanks for reading, lovelies!

Four days to go until Bad Romeo! Yikers!

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I love you all!

K x