Disclaimer: I'm John Connor's wife, not Tsugumi Ohba or Takeshi Obata. Possessing Death Note and struggling against conquering-the-world machines are two and very different things, you see.

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For The First Time

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Losing To Someone Who Is No Longer Here

"Matchmaking L and the model?" Matt droned.

"Shush…!" the rest of them – except for Mello, Near and Linda – hissed conspiratorially.

"The model's name is Misa, by the way." Linda reproached.

Matt remained stoic-face.

"So what do you think?" Sayu asked with a brimming smile. "I mean obviously they should be together!"

The rest of them – except for Mello and Near – nodded in agreement; murmuring and echoing the word 'obviously' under their breath with enthusiasm.

"So it's decided!" Sayu clapped her hands together. "Let's get everything in the kilter!"

While the room began to buzz noisily from their discussion, Matt let out the deepest suffering sigh. He leaned against the wall, staring at the sitting figures on the floor with utter boredom; to his dismay even Mello and Near found the idea inviting.

Matt glanced down when he felt someone's back pressing against his legs.

Linda stared up at him. "You—" she shifted and ended up tugging at Matt's trousers.

"They really are going down." he warned.

She half-laughed, releasing her grip on his trousers and craning around to him. "You look pale." she said, lowering her voice and frowning. Matt decided he wasn't going to like the topic. She said, "It's… because of the lost of blood, isn't it? You've been doing it again." she sounded disappointed.

Goddamnit. Matt looked up, pretending not to hear her.

"Matt." Linda pressed. When he refused to listen, she tugged at his trousers. "You're not mad, so you're just stubborn." she said.

Matt sighed and frowned, looking down at her. "Do you want to be thrown a knife again?"

"…No." Linda muttered. "Doesn't mean I can't try though."

"You're the stubborn one then."

"I told L."

Matt froze. He remained leaning against the wall stiffly, feeling his blood freezing and a new surge of anger rising inside. He stared down at Linda, sharply.

She wasn't looking at him.

"I told L yesterday." Linda mouthed, focusing on the small grasp of Matt's trousers she still had in her right fist. "He said – he said if I wanted to help, I should help."

Swiftly Matt crouched down, almost knocking her to the floor. He grabbed Linda's arm and leaned close. "You said you wouldn't tell anyone." he hissed.

Linda frowned at the hard grip around her arm, but she looked demandingly back into Matt's face. "I was worried. I am worried." she said.

Matt tightened his clutch. "We're not friends. You're no one to me and I'm no one to you. You shouldn't tramp in." they stayed silent for a moment when he stopped talking and Linda didn't reply. His breathing was audible, heavy from anger. For a brief second Linda thought he was going to hit her. Then, Matt released his firm hold around her arm and distanced away. "I hate you." he said blankly, stood and left the room, ignoring the children's looks.

The children exchanged glances in silence as Julie crawled over to Linda. She touched Linda's shoulder from behind. "Hey? What is it?" she asked carefully.

Stiffly, without looking at them Linda pulled away from Julie's touch. She moved her hands and pressed them to her face, shaking as she cried.

o0o

Art genius. Art genius. Art genius. Art genius. Misa chanted the two words like a mantra. As soon as the knowledge that Linda was Wammy's art genius swarmed into her mind, a brilliant idea popped into Misa's mind. Linda is going to paint Ryuzaki-san and Misa!

Therefore she was touring the orphanage on the quest of searching for the art genius. She had just taken the next turn while humming one of her songs when she bumped into a person.

Misa gave a quiet squeal, surprised, and when she looked up she was regarded by a pair of murderous-looking emerald eyes. Eep! Misa blinked, taking a step back. "Hi! Mello-kun!" she chirped with the hugest smile she could manage having on her face.

Mello didn't even snort. Expressionlessly he asked, "Have you seen Matt?"

"Um, nope." Misa shook her head. She asked, keeping the too-big smile, "Have you seen Linda?"

At that Mello seemed to be eyeing her carefully. Misa thought he looked like he was about to punch someone in the face – all too quickly she began to worry if Matt was going to be okay once Mello found him. "Linda's in the playroom. At least, two minutes ago when I was there." he answered.

"Oh." Misa mouthed. "Misa is going to the playroom then—" she paused to consider whether it was convenient to tell Mello that she was planning to get Linda to draw her and L, but before she could decide Mello had stalked past leaving her. Misa turned to give him a cheerful 'See you later!' but without turning to her Mello said,

"You think you can't forget about Yagami Light? You just don't want to let him go."

Misa's waving hand froze in the air and all the cheerful spirit she had a moment before seemed to drown. She felt cold as if Mello had just poured a bucketful of water onto her. And as if it wasn't enough, Misa heard Mello's voice continuing,

"Don't make a fool of L. If you want to stay, forget about Yagami Light – forget everything about him. Don't you think it's stupid? L is losing to someone who's no longer here."

As Misa remained standing where she was, watching Mello leave, unwillingly she sensed a surge of heat rising up her body from within as the tears gathered in her eyes, shortly followed by the feeling of a hard lump caught in her throat as she tried not to cry.

Misa wanted to scream out to Mello 'As if it's that easy! As if I hadn't tried!' and perhaps even run to him and slap him.

But she didn't. She remained standing where she was, watching.

o0o

It was quiet after what happened in the playroom. Although the rest of them had no idea of what actually happened, the spirit seemed to be swept away from everyone when Linda stood and ran out of the room, shortly followed by Mello who instead ran the opposite way from Linda – which would eventually lead to the room he and Matt shared.

Everything seemed to drone quietly for the rest of the day, uneventful and blurry. But when no one had seen Matt again until dinner, Roger began to take notice. Mello claimed to have searched through every place Matt would usually be and found none of the brunette's traces. Silently a tinge of fear clutched at Linda's heart and she almost cried again. It was her fault.

Then, when voices began to abound the cafeteria, when all of a sudden everybody began to speculate whether Matt had run away, Wammy House's gardener Quentin showed up carrying Matt in his arms, who was unconscious. Quentin looked puzzled, explaining he had found the boy lying alone on the field, already out cold for God knows how long when he discovered him.

Linda saw that Matt was extremely pale. Frantically she moved from her seat when she realized Roger was going to see the scars on Matt's flesh once he was sent to the infirmary but L walked past her and touched her shoulder as though indicating he was going to make sure everything was fine. Linda believed everything will be fine anywhere near L anyway, so she nodded quietly, sick with worry, and lowered down to sit back.

Linda felt herself shaking. Her head was light and she felt so weak, so terrified she might vomit. Maybe she had pushed her way too far after all. Maybe she had been too stubborn. Worst, she hadn't helped Matt at all. She couldn't see what she had helped him with at all.

"Linda?" Julie called worriedly when Linda pressed her hands to her face, shaking and struggling not to cry.

She didn't understand a thing about him and she insisted on helping.

o0o

Wammy House was, in many ways, beautiful. Sayu's first thought was life here would be horrible, but it wasn't. It was quite normal after all – only that for someone who had always clung to family like her, the thought of living without it was unthinkable.

To be honest, life without Light was – quite normal too. If she had to really think about what difference she noticed in the household now, Sayu would have to pick her father's expression every time Light was mentioned. She didn't get the one particular look Mr. Yagami would have on his face every time Light's name was spoken.

Light was perfect – it had showed long before he died but now, at times Sayu would catch a glimpse of look on their father's face that she believed she had mistakenly interpreted – because Mr. Yagami almost seemed disappointed, and she knew it couldn't be that way. Sayu herself was very, very proud of Light.

Sayu's thought drifted away from home the instant she saw Mello. "Hey! Short man on the tree!" she called out, well aware it would piss Mello off.

Sure enough, perched on a tree munching on a chocolate bar, Mello turned around to shoot Sayu a promising glare. He said, "Go away. It's my time of peace."

Already making her way to him, Sayu retorted, "No can do." she ducked under Mello's legs which hung from the branch he was perching on. Standing in front of him Sayu held out her hands toward him in the gesture that he should lift her up onto the tree, but Mello simply stared at her. His expression read 'Stupid'. So Sayu made a face at him and began to climb by herself. "Are you always this mean, Mello?" she sighed as she finally settled by his side.

"Only to those who annoy me." Mello deadpanned.

Sayu narrowed her eyes. The area was illuminated by the light from the lamp posts and by the half moon, Wammy's back door behind them left open. The field was empty but of crickets and somehow the distance it offered seemed so far away – green, trimmed grasses. Suddenly Sayu had the silly urge to run and roll around on them.

"Was that boy your friend?" Sayu asked after a while. "That unconscious boy the man brought in at dinner?"

Mello looked angry. He muttered, "He's not my friend. He's a cow."

Sayu nodded. "I see. A very cute cow then." she said. Mello made no response, his emerald eyes glowering ahead. "You're a liar." She finally pointed out. "You're actually worried."

At that, Mello chewed on his chocolate bar in a mean way – which was savagely – as if it was annoying him. "Well, congrats for figuring that out, genius." He snarled.

They were silent for another moment. Sayu swung her dangling legs slowly while Mello continued harassing his chocolate bar. It was when an idea popped into her mind that Sayu spoke again. She claimed, "I can predict the future."

"Really." Mello deadpanned, not bothering himself to give Sayu as much as a sideway glance.

"Yeah," Sayu sniffed, placing her hands on her lap carefully. She smiled mischievously at Mello. She said, "In the next five seconds you'll blush."

At that she did get Mello's attention. "I never blush." he drawled.

"Really." Sayu deadpanned.

With an irritated frown, Mello turned to face her, ready to argue.

That was when Sayu leaned over to kiss Mello lightly on his right cheek.

Mello's eyes widened and he jerked away, the chocolate bar in his hand almost slipping from his grip. Sayu smirked triumphantly. "What the—" he swore.

And blushed.

o0o

Surprised was no longer the word when L saw Misa on his bed that night. She had done it a few times before even when they were still in Japan, but it was the first time since they were here.

Even when she was lying on his bed with the cerulean cover wrapped over her, her blond hair loose, make-up free, she still looked like she was in the commercial for bedding.

As L reached over to switch off the lamp, Misa pushed herself from the bed and pulled him. It wasn't that he was surprised, but L simply let her, and he fell onto the bed with her clinging to him from behind, snuggling against his back.

"Misa." he called, already feeling awkward.

"Ryuzaki-san has to get comfortable with people touching him!" Misa insisted. Lying on his side, L didn't dare to move when he felt her face stretching into a smile. Misa giggled at his silence. "Say something." she nudged her head into his back.

L blinked. "I feel… someone's lips smiling and someone's head pushing against my back." he reported.

Misa laughed and L stiffened. He could feel Misa's body vibrating against him. Touching and messing his head had at first been hell for him – and now she seemed to think they should go to the next stage; cuddling.

But after a while of silence, L did allow himself to relax. Misa heaved out a complacent sigh.

"Misa wanted to ask Linda to draw Ryuzaki-san and Misa this evening." she told. "And then something happened… Misa forgot to find her." her voice lowered, and L had a mental image of her closing her eyes, somehow tiredly. Then she asked, "What happened to Matt?"

L didn't respond for a while. He didn't want to, actually. "A lot of time," he began finally, his voice faintly weary instead of as monotonous as usual. "People try to find ways to relieve their pain. Matt chooses to cope a little differently – of course, there are others who choose the same way… let's just stop at 'Matt chooses to cope a little differently'." He decided.

"Ryuzaki-san didn't really answer Misa's question." Misa pointed out. "But Misa hopes Matt is alright."

"He will be. He needs a lot of rest, for now."

"Hmm." Misa responded. Then, all of a sudden she changed the topic. "Misa is trying, you know. Misa thinks – she thinks she wants to stay with Ryuzaki-san, so she is trying… To forget."

The data-processing that had been working fluently in L's mind seemed to stop and his brain seemed to shut down literally. L stared at his laptop on the table ahead. "I know." He said.

Nodding, Misa sighed contentedly and snuggled closer. She kept one arm around L's waist and she moved the other to 'draw' on his back.

Whatever they said – whatever Mello said – L knew she was trying. That was enough, for now.

Misa smiled. She drew the two words she had seen hovering over L's head with her shinigami eyes before.

L Lawliet

Over and over again.

But then,

"Please stop that." L asked less than a minute afterward.

Being cut abruptly from her musings by his monotonic voice, Misa pursed her lips childishly and dragged her fingers to draw more vigorously on his back.

L squirmed, before realizing his mistake.

"Hah!" Misa squealed. "Ryuzaki-san is actually ticklish!" she made a discovery.

And when the ex-model began to laugh, evilly, L knew he wasn't getting any sleep he intended to get that night.

Author's Note- Hi, sorry for the late update. Supposedly you don't care about my lame excuse but just so you know… I've been busy. lol

To make up for that, I'll tell you one tiny winy spoiler.

Light's going to make a comeback! Isn't that sweet…? o.O

Oh, I saw this story 'Coke and Sundae' by BlueCandle where L loses his memory and is a 'different' person afterward? LOL, how true that could be! My cousin's son (who's a year younger than me) got into an accident and lost his memory and really, he was a CHANGED personality then. Before the accident he was overconfident (so I won't lie, he's fairly good looking and smart too, but that makes a guy seem cocky don't you think?) but the amnesiac-him was reserved and overly shy. I couldn't stop scoffing at his politeness XD but, he's all fine now, regained his memory back and is chasing one of my another cousin (who's his age) because back when he was in the hospital, that another cousin was the one who had taken care of him. I asked him, "Why the sudden interest?" because he had never paid any attention to that cousin of mine before the accident – and he said, "I've just realized… that she's actually curvy." Yeah, no kidding. The word that he kept saying in the hospital before he even woke was 'Sara'. When we told him about it, people swear he looked shocked, but who that 'Sara' was remains a mystery. He refuses to say anything about her, even to his parents – he's good at avoiding that topic. He changes the topic, pretends to misunderstand what we're questioning about, or compliments us out of the blue… We sort of gave up. To summarize, I don't understand him. He's a good brother and son and friend, but when it comes to boy-and-girl relationship – you never see him take it seriously. When that another cousin of mine told him he kicked her while he was semi-conscious on the hospital bed (sort of struggling over something), he faked a remarkable surprised look and happily said, "I kissed you?"

Nuff ranted. Originally I just couldn't contain my excitement over BlueCandle's story, XD

Beloved Reviewers-

Rei-Chan - Yeah that's what I'm trying to capture, hopefully I do fine... and I'm pleased you like the story :)

Vox Nihili - Yay! Cookie! :D

Takiasmuse - Hey thanks :D I haven't been in for quite a while (currently just to update the story) so I haven't browsed through your story yet, coming up!

ActionFry - Short and broken... I think I get what you're saying (after I checked it all through again), so thanks for mentioning; I'm trying! o.O

Artemis Day - Update! :D