Chapter Eighteen

I am really rubbish at updating speedily... apologies everybody – I've been horribly busy recently, but if anybody gets too impatient feel free to send me a PM yelling at me to hurry up!

This chapter is dedicated to EriinR, who has been one of the most wonderful people to beta-read for – ever so patient with my forgetfulness! So this is for her.

Disclaimer: Well.... this may come as a huge surprise to you all, but I don't actually own Torchwood. –collective gasp-

Gwen was sitting in her and Toshiko's shared cabin, reading a book, when she heard Jack yelling for Tosh.

"Toshiko! We need you over here!" the captain yelled, bursting into the cabin. "Gwen, where's Tosh?"

Gwen looked up and shrugged. "I don't know where she is, sorry. I think she went for a walk with Owen."

Jack growled under his breath and hurried back into the main cabin. Gwen trailed after him, desperate to know what was going on.

"Jack? What's going on?" she asked, seeing Ianto sitting at the computer with an odd look on his face.

Jack turned to look at her. "I don't know, Gwen," he replied. "That's why I need Tosh."

Ianto's face was very pale and his eyes glittering slightly. He looked at them, the odd half-smile still in place. "There's nothing you can do," he droned in a dull monotone.

Jack frowned. "Ianto? What is it?"

"We are too strong," Ianto continued.

"Ianto, stop it," Jack said forcefully. "This is no time for jokes."

Gwen was staring at Ianto, frowning. "Jack, I don't think that Ianto's joking. I don't think he's himself at all."

Trembling slightly, Ianto stood up, without any trace of his usual grace. "You must desist from this mission," he intoned. "Turn back. Turn back."

Jack swallowed hard. He squared his shoulders and looked Ianto- no, not Ianto. Not his Ianto, an alien- in the eye. "Make me."

As soon as those words left his lips, Jack cursed himself. They were controlling Ianto, the man he- no. Mustn't say it. Mustn't even think about him.

Ianto's pallid face twitched slightly, as if in confusion. The dark, shining eyes, no longer the beautiful blue Jack adored, blinked. "That was foolish. We are far more powerful than you."

Jack tipped his head back and studied him. "That's what you think."

"We are."

"Prove it." Gwen's voice was timid but determined, and when Jack looked at her in horror her eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Shit," she whispered. "Oh God, Jack, I'm so sorry."

Jack ignored her. "There's no need to prove it – nobody need get hurt," he started, holding up his hands, desperately trying to placate. "Let's discuss this sensibly. You let Ianto go, and we'll talk. I can help you."

Ianto, or rather the creature inhabiting the Welshman, was still watching Gwen. He blinked. "You ask us to prove it. We will prove it."

And then, like a puppet with cut strings, Ianto crumpled to the floor.

"No!" Jack bellowed, crossing the room in one stride and kneeling down on the floor, searching frantically for a pulse in Ianto's neck. "Gwen, phone Owen."

"But-"

"Just do it!"

Gwen nodded and scuttled away.

Jack's fingers couldn't find that steady throb of life under Ianto's skin. "C'mon, Yan, don't let me down," he whispered. "I've still got to ask the Doctor to take us on that trip, remember? And your sister and nephew are visiting when we get back – what will I tell them? Please, Ianto, don't leave me now."

Still no sign of life. Jack gently kissed Ianto, hoping that the vortex would work its magic again.

Still nothing.

"No," Jack muttered determinedly. "No, Ianto, you promised!"

Mouth to mouth didn't work either. Nothing was working. Jack didn't want to admit it to himself, but he knew, deep down inside, that his Ianto was gone.

But it didn't make it any easier when he heard Owen say the words.

"Jack. I'm sorry, but Ianto's dead."

He staggered to his feet, letting out and injured howl, like a wounded animal. He ignored the terrified faces of Tosh and Gwen, and raced up the steps, into the cockpit.

The water looked so inviting, so black and cold. Jack looked up at the stars overhead, and threw himself in.

Sinking down into the frigid darkness was a welcome relief from the burning pain the captain felt ripping through his torso, the pain of his heart tearing in two.

Jack opened his eyes, gazed around into the water, and breathed out, allowing the water to gush into his lungs.

-T-

Toshiko was crying softly, sitting at the table. Gwen was standing by the door of Owen's cabin, unable to take it in. Owen was still kneeling on the floor by Ianto, head bowed in despair.

He had failed. His team-mate, his friend, had died because he hadn't been there to save him.

And now Jack had drowned himself. Alright, Jack would come back, gasping his way into life, but Owen felt as if he had doubly failed for that. The pain of Ianto's death would break Jack, he knew. Ianto had been so much more than the tea-boy, Owen could see so clearly now. He had been everybody's confidante. He had been a fantastic friend. He had been Jack's lover. He had been the only one who hadn't acted any different around Owen after... well, you know. Ianto had been anything and everything.

And now he was gone.

The coffee machine on the counter gave a beep and started to turn off, as if it too realised that its owner had gone. Owen didn't look around as it began to drain and grind to a halt.

Toshiko gave a muted sob and Owen automatically stood up and reached out to envelop her in a hug. She sniffled against his chest, head tucked under his chin.

Somewhere, deep in Owen's subconscious, he knew that they'd have to deal with the body, get it back to Cardiff and into the morgue. But he didn't act on it. He just stood there with his Toshiko in his arms and listened to the sounds of Jack pulling himself out of the water and lie on the pontoon sobbing.

-T-

Jack lurched down the steps into the cabin and fell to his knees beside the still corpse. Water was dripping from his clothes and hair, but he just reached out a wet hand and stroked Ianto's cheek with the back of it.

"My beautiful Yan..." he murmured.

Tears blurring her vision, Gwen stepped forward and rested a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Jack," she whispered. "This is my fault..."

Jack looked up at her, blue eyes burning. "You're right. It is your fault. If you hadn't provoked it-" He broke off, choking on his own grief. "You're fired."

Toshiko, Owen and Gwen gasped collectively.

"Jack, you can't-" Owen started.

Jack cut him off. "I can and I have. Because of her, Ianto's dead." His face was stricken, his hand still touching Ianto's chest. "Go, Gwen. You're no longer a member of Torchwood."

Gwen's face creased up in pain and anger. "It isn't all my fault!" she argued. "I didn't force us to come out here, you did! I didn't make us stay here even when we'd been warned and Ianto's life was at risk!"

Jack reacted as if he'd been slapped. "Get out," he growled through clenched teeth. "How dare you say that this is my fault!"

"It is!" Gwen threw back. "You didn't even love him!"

Jack froze. "You think I didn't love him?"

"Of course you didn't!"

"You're wrong," Jack said quietly. "Dead wrong. I did love him. I still do. And I'm getting Ianto back."

OK, now please don't kill me! –hides away- Don't worry, I've got big plans for this. Something good will come out of this tradgedy, just don't stop reading!

Note: I've just realised that this is the second time I've killed off my Ianto. So this automatically makes my other fic AU to an AU. Which is completely confuddling.

The more reviews I get, the faster I'll be able to fix this... hinthint..