Hey Guys,

So, I am evil. I am late. Like really late. Sorry. Very, very, sorry. Anyways, you guys were really excited for this chapter.

Yeah… just read it. I love you guys, and I feel this story needs to be slower than it is. It had to be done.

Enjoy!

~IfWritersCouldSpeak~

"Hey," Fabian greeted me, Monday morning. We were both in the dining room, surrounded by our peers. Mara eyed us, so all I did in response was nod, and bid him good morning.

I sat down, digging into my pancakes, as my housemates conversed, all still in their pajamas. We could all hear the lightning crash outside, as the rain pounded above us.

Earlier, Trudy had found out that school was cancelled, since the storm was still raging on. This was at four am, and Jerome and Alfie, who were planning a prank for the rest of us, overheard this phone call. So, then, deciding this was better, they called everyone down, and at four-fifteen in the morning, we were all collapsing on the floor, as they yelled to us, through bull horns, the exciting news.

Then, they placed a bucket above the door, and I was the first one out.

Everyone was rolling on the floor, laughing, as I wiped the purple, slimy goo from my face. But no one was laughing harder than Fabian, who was doubled over, hardly breathing.

Once everyone had settled, they exited, but Fabian stayed. All he did was skim my forehead, and his finger came away with the goo, and he chuckled. "You know, even like that you still look cu-" His face became stunned, and a wave of fear crossed over his face. "C-c-cool, you, you still look cool," he stuttered. I didn't process this until he left. He was trying to tell me something, before he began stammering.

My ears rang, but I denied the idea.

It was preposterous.

Because there was no way on earth that Fabian Rutter, could have possibly, thought I was cute.

X

I tossed and turned that night, an unusual dream creeping its way into my subconscious.

Nina!" someone yelled, as I woke up. I was in a comfortable bed, in a bedroom, with brick walls. I was stunned, and looked behind me, and I saw maple headboards. Across from my bed was a large open door, showing a closet. I saw certificates scattered across the room, and pictures of me with high ranking officials. The room was full of bright colors and beautiful pictures. There was one picture of my parents, on the desk beside me. The desk was marble white, and I could see my reflection. I looked outside my window, and I saw the streets of London, the buildings looming in the bright daylight. I was in my dream future.

"Nina!" the voice called again. I looked to the edge of my bed and gasped.

Fabian was sitting there, like a ghost. His skin was a pasty white, and his concrete blue eyes were dark like two black holes. His nails were dark, and his clothes were black and white. His image was flickering, and he was crying, the dark tears rolling down his face. Dark circles flooded under his eyes, as if he had not slept in years.

"I wanted you to help me," Fabian said, whimpering. "I thought you wanted to help me."

I leaned over, and I reached towards his face. "I do. I do want to help."

"You never came looking for me. All these years, I've been stuck. Look at me. This is what happened." He said, gesturing.

I placed my hand on his cheek, and it went right through.

He shook his head, and took my hand, though it felt like air. "I'm dead, Nina."

I woke up, with sweat beading down the back of my neck. I felt tears on my face, and incoherent words, rolling down my tongue, but most of the time, it was Fabian's name.

I crawled out of bed. I didn't care if Victor heard, or Trudy heard, or Amber heard, or Joy heard, or even if Mara heard.

I didn't care who heard, as long as I could hear Fabian's breathing, and his words, telling me exactly what he wanted me to know this morning.

I crept down the stairs, the creaking shaking my bones as I neared Fabian's room. I pushed it open, slightly, to just take a step in.

It was enough to see Fabian's bed empty, the covers drawn, as though no one had slept there for decades.

And just like that, I broke down crying. I fell back, and my silent thump, made me feel like I just shook the whole house. I back stepped several times, until I could feel the door behind me. I pressed back, and fell through, and my back struck the ground, my hands still covering my mouth, as it stifled the sobs that broke out.

I cried on the ground, as I felt my bones collapsing, and my organs contracting. My breathing hollowed, as the world spun around. The ceiling was the ground, and then it was the ceiling again… the world was just controlled by someone who had a joint stick, and they spilled coffee over it.

My hand swept the floor, and it came out wet. My tears seemed to be causing a puddle, and my nerves were at an all time high.

I killed Fabian.

My breathing was now deep and hitched.

He's dead.

The world began to fill with colors.

I didn't listen.

I wrapped my arms around myself, to try and relieve the shaking.

I should have helped.

I saw a shadow come closer.

I gave up on the chances to talk to him.

The shadow crept towards me, and crouched down, beside my shaking body.

I let him die.

The shadow was shaking me now, and I whimpered, and scooted towards them.

Fabian.

I shut my eyes, as the person rocked me back and forth. Their warm arms were comforting and undeniably familiar.

The person hummed an old tune that I loved, though I didn't know how they knew it. Then, they began to sing softly in my ear, and their voice soothed me, as I continued to hyperventilate.

"Maybe we can go home tonight.

All of the pain we went through forgotten.

Maybe we can pretend it's not there.

We can pretend it didn't happen.

"And when you're ready to talk, say it loud.

No matter what the words are.

And even if they critize you,

I still know your soul ain't far.

"'Cause you… have you mother's smile, and your father's laugh.

And even if you fall, they'll love you back.

And if… someone hurts you, they'll be there to wipe your eyes,

I'll be there to hurt whoever did it to you.

"You're an peaceful angel, with no sins,

I don't care, where you've been,

You have a voice, to compare.

You have a face, at which I stare.

"You have a heart, that's made of gold,

You have my love, it'll never be sold.

"You're gold…"

They began humming again, and I reaized that it was over. And when I looked through my blurry eyes, I saw Fabian, his face concentrated on mine, his eyes the one thing I thought I'd never see again.

I crawled out of his lap, and I stood up. At my action, he got up as well. I reached out, and placed my hand on his arm. Then I placed it on his cheek. My finger swirled around his skin. I began crying harder, when he reached out to wipe my tears. I hooked my arms around his neck, and held him tight. I didn't care about Mara or Victor or anyone would do if they saw us.

Fabian was alive.

"You're ok," I mumbled repeatitively. "You're ok."

"Nina?" Fabian asked. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head, which was now buried in his shoulder. "You were dead."

"What?" he whispered.

"I had a nightmare, and you were dead, and-" I shook my head once more, and pulled away from him. "I need to know Fabian. I need to know what you're afraid of. Who is causing you this pain?"

He sucked in a breath, and he shook his head. "No. I can't tell."

"Fabian, if it wasn't raining, and school wasn't cancelled, you would have told me. We would've met, and we could talked-"

"Nina, I'm sorry for the position I put you in. But how dare you put me in this position as well?" he questioned, fists beginning to shake with anger.

"Fabian," I whispered, placing my hands on his fists. He recoiled and uncurled them. "What are you talking about?"

"You have a secret too, Nina, don't deny it. When I try to help you, you push me away as well. I don't need him. Maybe we didn't meet today because it was faith. Maybe weren't supposed to. You and I both know, that you didn't tell me about your nightmare the other night. You won't tell me about you life either. You won't tell anyone." Fabian stated, "Nina, I don't need the deep stuff. Just something, to know that if I can rely on you, you can rely on me."

I bit my lip, and looked down.

"If not, then I want to finish this before it starts," Fabian said. "We're friends, Nina, I want that to stay that way. But, if you won't let me help you, you are not coming anywhere near me, and my problems."

I opened my mouth, as he stood up and walked to the door.

"I would love if you could help me," Fabian told me, turning around. "But it shouldn't be this hard."

"Fabian…" I whispered.

"Good night, friend," Fabian waved. "See you in first period."

"Fabian, no."

"I can't, Nina," Fabian shouted quietly. "I can't."

"Why do you care about me?" I asked. "I'm nothing but a burden. You could just forget me. Why did you pick me, to try and help you, out of all the people in the world? Why would you pick me, instead of the kids you've known since you were eleven?"

"Because you're deifferent!" he yelled, in a soft voice. "You actually noticed."

"So did everyone else!" I exclaimed, in a low voice. "They noticed."

"Yes, but you were the one who didn't stop. They tried, but they couldn't get it. They couldn't help me, right. But, you know what? Mara is the only one left it seems. She's the only one I can rely on." Then he whispered, "She's always there."

The way he said was so low, and eerie, I had a feeling it was not a compliment.

"Fabian?"

"'Night, Nina. You're just another friend now. There's nothing left to say." With that, he stalked out the door.

I had a dream that my friend died. I cry, because I think he is. I found out he's alive. I ask to help him. And in the end, when he left, I felt like he left me.

Because he was right, I didn't let him help me. I didn't want him to help me. Yet I did. I wanted him to fight for it. Because so many people want to help, but they don't fight for it. People have tried to help me, but they gave up.

I didn't care what he said. I am going to help Fabian.

Even if we're just friends.

So, you hate me right?

Next Update: This Saturday or Sunday, 1/18/2014 or 1/19/2014.

See ya!

~IfWritersCouldSpeak~