Digital Clue
III: I didn't do it!
madjack89: Okay, time for the next exciting installment of Digital Clue! Last time, Kouji had just revealed everyone's reason for being at the mansion: blackmail!
Kouji: Like I said, juicy stuff. Especially you, Takuya.
Takuya: Grrrrrr…
Matt: Okay, I just finished watching the real Clue and I couldn't help but notice that YOU PUT ME IN THE ROLE OF A CHARACTER THAT DIES!
madjack89: Deal with it, Matt! At least I put Sora in this with you!
Matt: She dies too!
Sora: I what?
madjack89: Alright, I think this would be a good time to answer reviews!
agoodcupoftea: You should check Clue out! It's such a funny movie! I highly recommend it! Thanks for reviewing!
hazeleyedharmony: Yeah, I'm sure Kouichi will forgive me. He's too nice not to! (Kouichi: It's not nice to take advantage of people…) I'm still trying to keep them in character even though it's not their character (does that make sense?). And yes, Jeri scares me, too! Her and that creepy puppet…but I'll live. Thanks for the review!
fg1fg: Yup, they did it! lol No, just kidding. They aren't that crazy! And the reason it's all perverted is because that's how Clue was like, too (it had a lot of pervy doctor jokes). And I'm making fun of JP! But I don't think all guys are perverts, and I'm sure your not! Alright, thanks for reviewing!
madjack89: Okay, time for Digital Clue: part III!
--
"Ow," Takuya grumbled, rubbing his head. "What'd I miss?" he asked, noticing everyone's shocked expressions.
"Apparently we're all being blackmailed," said Yoshi, smirking. "And I can only imagine what you've done, DOCTOR," she added, glancing coyly at JP.
JP frowned. "Why are you singling me out, MISS Yoshi?"
"I am NOT being blackmailed!" Mimi exclaimed.
"You know what?" Matt said, suddenly standing. "I've had about enough of this; I'm out of here!"
Everyone watched as Matt strode from the room, headed for the door. Kouji quickly followed him, saying, "Actually, I've locked all of you in here, so no can do."
"What?" everyone exclaimed angrily.
"You can't do that!" Takuya said. "I know my rights!"
"Takuya, the only right you have is the right to shut up and get back in the study," Kouji replied, shuffling everyone back into the room. He closed the door behind him and stared at everyone in turn.
"So, anyone want to fess up to what they did?" he asked.
"I can't, because I haven't done anything," Mimi grumbled, taking a swig of champagne.
"Oh really," Kouji said, pulling a paper out of his envelope. "Well, according to this, you've been, let's just say, BRIBING SENATORS to get your own senator husband in higher places."
"Nice," Takuya muttered.
"That is completely ridiculous!" Mimi exclaimed angrily. "I am a law abiding citizen of the United States!"
"Actually, I think bribing isn't exactly following the law," JP said, smirking.
Mimi's face grew red as she glared at Kouji. "You…"
"Yeah, you probably hate me now. Moving on." Kouji plucked another piece of paper from the envelope and turned to Takuya. "All I can say is Takuya…wow."
"Give me that paper!" Takuya cried, leaping at Kouji. Kouji quickly stepped out of the way, causing Takuya to land on the floor.
"Let me see that," Yoshi demanded, grabbing the paper from Kouji while he snickered at Takuya. She scanned the paper for a moment, then grinned. "I thought I recognized you from something."
"Wait; don't!" Takuya once again tried to grab the paper, but Yoshi quickly crumpled it in her hand and threw it at JP.
JP caught it and smoothed it out, reading the contents. Everyone else, minus Matt, gathered around to read as well. Takuya hung his head in dismay as the other guests stared at him in shock.
"You got it on in a bordello?" Henry asked.
"Ew," Jeri said, making a face.
"Oh, like you've never done anything reprehensible!" Takuya retorted, blushing profusely.
"Wait, what's a bordello?" Mimi asked curiously.
"It's a special hotel that places men in a room with the company of a young lady…for a short while," Yoshi explained, waggling her eyebrows.
"You say that like you know what you're talking about," JP said, staring at Yoshi.
"I do," she replied. "I own one."
"Holy crap," Henry mumbled, gulping down more champagne.
"Yeah, this joker was a 'customer' of mine once," Yoshi said, pointing at a miserable-looking Takuya. "So doctor, what could you're secret possibly be?"
"You know what doctors aren't supposed to do with their lady patients?" Kouji asked.
"Yeah," Yoshi replied.
"Well, he did," Kouji stated, glancing at another piece of paper.
"Ha ha, I knew it!" Yoshi cackled, laughing hysterically.
JP scratched his head sheepishly. "Well…yeah."
"What is wrong with people?" Jeri muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Okay, first off, you talk to a freaking puppet, Jeri!" Kouji exclaimed, grabbing another paper. "Not only that, but your husbands have a nasty habit of dying, don't they?"
"Dude, you locked us in here with a murderer?!" Takuya cried.
"You think this is bad, just wait," Kouji said, foreshadowing the fact that this is a MURDER mystery.
"Oh, shut up, Madjack!" Takuya snapped, while I grinned (hee).
"Just because my first three husbands died mysteriously doesn't mean that I killed them," Jeri said, glaring at Kouji. "Besides, I loved Takato very much."
"Dude, you killed Takato!" Takuya exclaimed.
"You bitch!" Henry added.
"Fine, but what happened to Kazu and Kenta?" Kouji asked accusingly. Jeri paused, dumbfounded.
"Dude, you killed Kazu and Kenta!" Takuya exclaimed.
"Dude, you MARRIED Kazu and Kenta!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"Okay, cut it out with the dudes," Kouji said, clearing his throat. "Now that I've unmasked crazy over here, that leaves Henry."
Everyone suddenly grinned, turning to stare at Henry. Henry sighed, standing up. "Do I really have to say this?"
"Sorry buddy, it's in the script," Takuya said, grinning wider.
"The fangirls are gonna have a field day with this," Henry muttered, clenching his fists. "Okay. I'm not going to wait for Kouji to unmask me. I work for the State Department, and I am a…homosexual."
Everyone in the room burst into laughter. Henry blushed, hiding his face in his hands.
three minutes later…
"It wasn't that funny, guys!" Henry exclaimed as everyone continued to laugh.
"Hey, at least Takato, Kazu, and Kenta are out of the picture!" Takuya said between chuckles. "Now you can get it on with Ryo!"
This sent everyone into another giggle fit. Henry's eyes narrowed. "You guys suck."
three more minutes later…
"Okay guys, back to business," Kouji gasped, regaining his composure. He waited a moment as everyone stopped laughing, getting serious once more. "Alright," Kouji continued, "now we know why all of you are being blackmailed."
"Wait a minute," JP said, pointing suddenly at Matt. "What about him?"
Matt smirked, standing slowly. Kouji narrowed his eyes, saying, "He isn't being blackmailed. He IS the blackmailer."
Everyone turned suddenly and glared at Matt. "You were…you…you were," Takuya stammered incoherently.
"Yup," Matt said bluntly. "I blackmailed all of you. I am officially more of an ass than Kouji here."
"Congratulations," Kouji said sarcastically.
"Why are you here, then? What's going one?" Henry asked, glancing suspiciously at Kouji. "And what does Kouji have to do with it?"
"Hey, don't point fingers at me just yet," Kouji retaliated. "I'm not blackmailing you, after all."
"Yeah!" Takuya said, glaring at Matt. "What the hell do you think you're doing, blackmailing us?"
"Um, if I blackmail you, I get money," Matt said, smiling. "It's not that hard to figure out."
While Takuya and Matt bickered, Jeri got up slowly and walked over to Matt. Everyone stared at her, seeing what she would do next. Suddenly Jeri lifted her knee and hit Matt in the…uh…"private area."
Matt sank to his knees, trembling with pain. "That's for blackmailing me, you bastard," Jeri muttered, smirking.
The guys in the room stared at Jeri with horror, while Yoshi and Mimi started snickering. "You go, girl!" Mimi exclaimed.
"I'd say I felt bad for you, but I don't," JP said, staring at Matt as he slowly got to his feet.
"Hey guys, I don't mean to ruin this happy little moment, but the police are coming," Kouji said flatly.
"What?!" everyone exclaimed, crowding around Kouji.
"If the police come, everyone will know all this crap about us!" Takuya said.
"I worked too hard to hide those bribes to let it go to waste!" Mimi cried, realizing too late that she was admitting to what she'd done. "Wait, I mean…damn it!"
"I'm not going back to prison!" Jeri growled threateningly.
"Guys!" Kouji yelled, silencing the group. "If you just tell the police what you've done, then you can put Matt behind bars and your troubles will be over!"
Matt chuckled suddenly, causing everyone to turn and look at him. "I think I have a much more enticing offer for them, if you'll let me get my bag from the hall."
Without waiting for an answer, Matt walked down the hall, grabbed his bag, and walked back into the study. Everyone continued to stare as Matt took six identically wrapped presents out of his bag.
"Darn, it's not my birthday," Takuya said sarcastically.
"These aren't for anyone's birthday," Matt replied, handing a present to everyone but Kouji. Everyone stared at their gifts quizzically until Matt said, "Go ahead and open them."
"Whatever." Yoshi shrugged, flipping off the top of her gift and taking out a brass candlestick. She stared at it suspiciously. "Um, thank you, but I prefer chocolates."
Jeri took a noose from her gift box, staring at it silently.
From Henry's box came a lead pipe. "Uh, okay?" he muttered.
Takuya grabbed from inside his gift a wrench. "What the hell?" he said, glancing at Matt. "You want me to solve my problems by fixing things?"
"I'll explain in a second," Matt replied, watching as JP removed a revolver from his gift and Mimi removed a dagger from hers.
Kouji looked at each present in turn, then glared at Matt. "So what now?"
Matt smirked at Kouji, and then turned to face the others. "Each of you holds in your hands a deadly weapon."
"Wait, I have a question!" Takuya interrupted, raising his hand.
"Yes, Takuya," Matt said, rolling his eyes.
"How exactly is a wrench a deadly weapon?" Takuya asked.
"When you hit someone in the head with it, they die," Matt answered. "Happy?"
"I'll never trust a plumber again, but continue," Takuya replied.
"Okay, anyway, you each have a deadly weapon. In a moment, I will turn off the lights," Matt explained, moving in front of the study door and resting his hand on the light switch. "While they're off, I say that we do the unthinkable: kill Kouji Minamoto!"
Everyone gasped and, from far away, a fangirl could be heard crying out in despair. "Madjack," Kouji muttered. (hee)
"That's crazy, Matt! What'll season four do without Kouji?" JP said. "We all know the twins give us half our popularity!"
"If Kouji exposes you, you're ruined anyway," Matt said. "Besides, he's been a jerk to you guys all night. You can get your payback and get rid of the evidence against you at the same time."
"True," JP murmured, considering the possibilities in his head.
"Can I trade JP for the gun?" Jeri asked. "I'm not sure I could pull this off with a noose, but a revolver should do the trick."
Kouji suddenly grew paler, taking a few steps back from the guests. "Now, hang on, guys, can't we discuss this? I haven't been that big a jerk, have I?"
Everyone pondered this for a moment, then said, "Yeah, you have."
"Don't worry Kouji, I'm not killing anyone," Henry said, dropping his pipe on the ground.
"That makes me feel so much better," Kouji said sarcastically, looking warily at all the guests. "Matt, before you turn off the lights, could you let me write my last will and testament?"
"No," Matt replied, flicking off the lights.
For a moment, no sound could be heard in the room. Then there was the sound of shuffling, followed by a gun shot and a thump. Mimi screamed and quickly turned the lights back on, wondering who had had the nerve to actually commit the murder.
But instead of Kouji, Matt's motionless body lay on the study floor.
There was silence for a moment. Then Kouji let out a sigh of relief, saying, "Takuya, JP, I take back everything I was going to do to you guys when I came back from the dead and haunted you."
"Oh crap," Yoshi muttered, staring at Matt's motionless form. "Well, Mr. Doctor, go check him out and see if he's really dead."
JP approached Matt and pressed his fingers to Matt's pressure points. "He's dead."
"Um, when exactly were those policemen coming?" Henry asked Kouji.
"In about an hour," Kouji replied, staring at the body. "And I don't think anyone's going to confess to this."
"Wait, didn't the revolver go off?" Jeri asked suddenly. Everyone turned their gazes on JP.
"I didn't do this! Someone grabbed the gun from me in the dark!" JP protested. "Look, Matt doesn't have a bullet wound!"
"He's right!" Yoshi exclaimed. "That vase over there is broken and there's a bullet hole in the wall!"
The others rushed to the spot Yoshi was pointing at and realized she was right.
"Oh my god, I think I need a drink," Mimi said wearily, picking up Matt's glass from the table by the door and taking a swig.
Suddenly JP turned and exclaimed, "What if Matt was poisoned?"
Mimi instantly dropped the glass on the ground and started screaming. "I'm gonna die!"
"Get a hold of yourself!" Takuya yelled, forcing Mimi to sit down in a chair as she continued her screaming.
Henry stepped up to Mimi and slapped her across the face to shut her up. She fell silent and Henry muttered sheepishly, "I had to stop you from screaming."
"Okay, so how do we find out if the drink was poisoned?" Yoshi asked.
Kouji glanced at Mimi and said, "Well there's one obvious way. If she dies too…"
"Oh god," Mimi muttered in despair as everyone crowded around her to see if she would die.
Suddenly everyone heard a high pitched scream coming from the other room. The others, minus Mimi, quickly rushed into the hall and ran to the door of the billiard room.
While Kouji fumbled with the key, the screaming continued from inside the room. "Wait a minute, what if the murderer has another victim in there?" Jeri asked out loud.
"Oh crap, Zoe!" JP realized. "Open the freaking door, Kouji!"
"Working on it," Kouji muttered, giving the key one last twist before slamming the door open.
Almost immediately after this, Zoe ran up to Kouji and slapped him upside the head. "What'd I do?" Kouji cried angrily while Zoe continued to glare at him.
"You locked me in here with a murderer, you jackass!" Zoe replied angrily, slapping Kouji again.
"Heh, she bitch slapped you twice," Takuya said, chuckling at Kouji.
"Wait, how'd you know about the murder?" Yoshi asked suspiciously. "You weren't in there with us."
"Kouji wanted me to tape your conversation," Zoe explained, pointing at the tape recorder behind her. "And I sure as hell am not staying in this room with a murderer on the loose, even if it's one of you guys."
"It wasn't necessarily one of us," JP said, defending himself. "I mean, it could even have been you, or the cook…"
"The cook!" Everyone quickly rushed down the hall, headed for the kitchen. When they wrenched open the door, they found the kitchen empty.
Henry cautiously walked into the room, inspecting everything until he stopped in front of the meat cooler. He turned to the others and said, "Well, she's not here."
Suddenly, the cooler door creaked open and Yoshi screamed, pointing at the thing falling from inside it. Sora's body slumped down onto Henry, a dagger sticking out of her back.
Henry's eyes widened as he stared at Sora's glazed eyes. "I didn't do it!" he exclaimed.
--
madjack89: Oh no, two murders! And the police will be there soon! What will the guests do? How will they solve the mystery? Who will die next?
Kouji: Why did no one object to killing me? I'm not that bad!
madjack89: Sorry Kouji! Alright, see you all in the next exciting chapter of Digital Clue!
(Sorry this took so long to get out! I'll try to be faster in the future, but no promises!)