Donnie Darko:

I spent the rest of the period following Cherita around. Well…not following but searching. Stupidly, I spent most of my time focusing on my own petty problems—like saving the world—instead of paying attention to where the lone girl went. I asked around but usually got the same answers.

"Who?"

"Going whale hunting?"

"Does it matter?"

Joanie gave a really interesting answer though.

"Why? Planning on sending your scraps down the garbage disposal?"

It wasn't what she said but how she said it. Her eyes were dark and her tone disturbingly rude. She sounded so mean…heartbroken even. The way she said it gave me this dark chill. Like something I didn't want to happen was already happening before my eyes. And then before I could say anything else the new girl spoke.

"Hey, I saw her in the girl's bathroom…on the first floor."

Gretchen.

Apart of my heart still vibrated at the sight of her but things were different this time. She went and sat by Sean during English class and I didn't feel jealous at all. I actually felt…relieved. The class went on as normal except for the half smile I caught at the corner of Joanie's pink glossed mouth. Much different from her angrily moving mouth that more likely than not was throwing Cherita under the bus.

I stormed into the girl's bathroom and after a search that made one girl pee herself and another scream I began uncovering her hiding places. People that either secretly shared these places with her or that were nice enough not rat her out gave me the information I needed. There was the library, the old hallway with the window seat, the janitor's closet, and then a bunch of little places I never realized would be actual safe places in the school. It wasn't until I got outside to the smokers that a guy pointed over to the bleachers of the baseball field that I found her favorite place.

"Yeah, she like, always eats lunch there. Always. When it's snowing though she hangs out in the courtyard by that dumbass statue but when it's raining sometimes I let her sit in the back of my van. She's like…really cool to talk to, you know?"

My fists clench so tight at the sound of him talking about the girl I love but I know I should be thinking about thanking him instead of thinking about the possibility of him…kissing those lips that I have no right to feel like they only belong to me. And it's not just that. It's that I don't know. It's that I don't know how cool she is to talk to because I've never given her the chance and now…and now it's like I'll never get one. I shake my head and lift up my hand briefly as I begin to turn away, "Yeah, man, thanks."

"No pro…," he stops and I pause to look at him. His eyes that had bee clear suddenly get red like those old stoners while his voice gets an echo to it I never heard before, "Hey…You're that Darko kid, right?"

My blood freezes, "Yeah…"

"You should have done this a long time ago."

"I know," I respond calmly but my insides are shaking. What does that mean? Who is this guy? Why does he remind me too much of Frank?

I shake my head again and start walking away, leaving behind his voice that calls out again, "A long time ago."

I don't want to but suddenly I'm back in Eighth Grade and it's me and Ron and Sean and those other assholes Seth and Ricky and what happened in that locker room. My heart is beating so fast and I'm starting to sweat as I try to get calm while I walk to meet her at the bleachers. We were going through puberty back then; always looking at Playboys and always talking about sex. We decided we wanted to see some real tits and we went through the pros and cons, quickly realizing that the girls our age wouldn't have full "juicy" ones and there was no way in hell we'd see a grown woman's. My hands are sweating as I think back to that and I wonder if she still thinks about that too. Is that's what's making her hate me now? We were stupid—I was stupid—and we decided Cherita was the closest we could get to actual boobs.

My face is hot and I have the instant desire to go back in time and punch us all in the fucking face. What were we thinking? Who does that? Who does what we did? I need to talk to her, I know that, and there's some cosmic right about this feeling that I just can't get over. Maybe I'm cursed so much because of what I did to her in that locker room. Maybe I'm supposed to right what I have wronged with her before it's too late.

I pause in midstep behind the bleachers and realize I should think of something to say. Something that will get her attention and stop her from running away from me before I get a word or explanation out. I've got to come out swinging with something like "Cherita, I'm in love with you" but not so bold. She might think it's a joke and if she thinks that it'll take a whole lot more than I know to get her back on my side. I don't know how to explain that I need her love and it's the only thing that will keep me going because if I don't have it…I have nothing else in this rotten world and it might as well go to hell for all I care.

But I can't keep thinking and I've got to start acting now. I quickly round the corner with my eyes down on my feet as I climb the bleachers and I start to say, "Cherita I need to talk to you because I…" but she's not there.

Sean and Gretchen are sitting together talking and when he looks at me his face looks like he's eaten something sour, "What the fuck are you doing, Don?"

"Have you seen Cherita?" I demand.

"Last I saw she was in that bathroom like I told you," Gretchen looks nervous and there's still a part of me that wants to protect her from feeling scared.

"Yeah, she's not there," I look down at the seats around me and catch sight of a ripped up brown paper bag rolling along the bench.

"Donnie? Why does it matter?" Sean continues, still with that confusion on his features but I can't answer him as I focus on the brown paper bag.

"If he wants to talk to her that's fine. What's the big deal?" Gretchen tries to defend.

"Because….no one talks to her."

"Don't you think that should change?"

The bag rolls over to me and I lift it up and realize what it is. I grab it and run off the bleachers, leaving them calling after me. The thing is clenched inside of my fists as I begin my run toward the school and where this could have come from. I'm losing my fucking mind. I need to know what happened. I need to know why name is floating across the school and why it's no longer on her text book.