Updates aren't always going to be this quick, but I felt inclined to upload this since I'd already written it (-: The next chapters will have more Bellarke & I'm hoping to delve a little into the sickness epidemic in 1x10 although that will probably be in a few chapters. I hope you're enjoying it so far and thank you SO MUCH to those of you who reviewed, they motivate me to continue!

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It was oddly comforting to sit around the campfire, holding my palms up to the fiery warmth, being so close to something so destructive, yet taming it to be something trustworthy. Jasper, who was beside me, passed me a bowl of crushed berries and nuts, smiling in encouragement, "It's tasty I swear, there's some new nuts in there that Monty and I discovered this morning, and don't worry we double checked that they're safe."

I smiled appreciatively at him, taking the bowl and using my fingers to lift some to my lips; it was surprisingly sweet, almost decadent, like a treat and I savoured the taste on my tongue. It was small victories like this that made living on Earth worth continuing, knowing that we had the capabilities within our group to be creative and successful.

"Thanks Jasper, this is actually really good!" I grinned, more sincerely this time and Jasper, seemingly satisfied launched into another topic.

"Monty and I have managed to acquire a tent with another of the guys who had a tent to himself, so I figure that'll be more room for you, Finn and Raven," He exclaimed, obviously considering this a positive, "Look, I know it may be awkward them being a couple and all, but it's not like they would do anything while you're there!"

I knew he was trying to help, but I couldn't prevent the smile from slipping from my lips. He had no idea of what had happened between Finn and I, of course that was no fault of his own, but for once I wished I had divulged that information with someone.

"Oh," I tried to pull the positivity back into my voice as convincingly as possible, "That should be fine!"

He eyed me for a moment, sensing my discomfort, "You sure?"

"Yeah!" I replied, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

"Cool," He grinned, wrapped his fingers around my shoulder, "It'll be fine Clarke, they'll both be cool with it."

I nodded in agreement as he stood up, "I'm going to grab my things, see you later!"

I tried to calm to whirring of my heartbeat as I scooped the rest of the food into my mouth; suddenly they were too sweet and I had to press my fingers to my lips to prevent myself from gagging. There was no way I was going to share a tent with Finn and Raven by myself, no way in hell.

I weaved my way through the tents until I got to the one I'd called home since arriving on Earth, it wasn't much but the familiarity of its shape and scent made me ache as I gathered together my meagre belongings and rolled them inside my thin blanket. I inhaled once more, realizing that the strongest scent of all was that of Finn, his sweet, soft smell, like cool early mornings.

Crinkling up my nose I left the tent, heading up toward the medical bay. Most of the injuries that occurred were minor so no one really stayed in the medical bay itself, probably because the drop ship was absolutely freezing at night and there was no real room to lie down apart from the cool, unforgiving table. I had almost reached the entrance when I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me around to face them.

I almost turned and ran.

It was Finn.

He smiled softly, like everything was okay, "Where are you off to?"

"Medical bay," I replied stonily, we hadn't communicated a lot since Raven had arrived and I didn't want that to change now.

He sighed, detecting the cool edge to my voice, "Look Clarke, I really need to apologise and talk to you about—"

"I don't want to hear it." I said, shaking my shoulder so that his arm fell back to his side.

I'd known this moment was coming, I'd replayed it over and over in my head and that was enough to make this conversation already, extremely repetitive.

"Clarke—"he started again, reaching out those fingers, to rest on my arm.

I swear they burnt holes in my skin, and not pleasant ones either, the kind that send shivers of repulsion through my body, repulsion for myself, for my decision to leap into bed with a taken boy. Even though I hadn't known that was the case.

"Look Finn, to put it plainly, I don't particularly want to be around you right now, but as that's pretty much impossible with our living conditions, I want to only see you when strictly necessary. Clear? So I'm moving elsewhere to sleep so you and Raven can have the tent all to yourselves." I took a deep breath, ignoring the hurt that was flickering through his eyes and the quake in my voice, "And please don't think about apologizing again, I get that you fucked up with me, but you are Raven's family, and she loves you, please do not fuck that up."

I realized it had been a while since I'd used such language, particularly twice in one moment; but I wasn't sure how else to be clear to Finn and remain calm simultaneously, without screaming like a banshee. The image of myself completely losing it and wailing at him caused a strangled laugh to make its way up my throat and I had to cough to prevent it from leaving my lips.

Finn's eyes were pleading, "Please Clarke—"

"Wow Spacewalker, you really do not understand when a girl is telling you to back the hell off." Bellamy sauntered up to me, his arms crossed, amusement and a trace of annoyance touching his lips.

"This is absolutely none of your business." Finn replied, clenching his fists and stepping toward Bellamy.

The amusement dissipated from Bellamy's eyes and his lip curled as he stepped toward Finn, "It is my business if someone is being harassed within my camp, especially if the victim is integral to our survival and the harasser can be easily disposed of."

Integral to our survival. I realized standing there near the two bickering boys that I had never felt more alone than I did now. My closest friend had been killed, my new friend had used me and my fellow leader didn't even seem to realize that I was actually a human being. I felt like a cast that would be removed when the break had healed or an automatic weapon with three bullets to destroy three threats.

I felt sure that one of them was going to attack the other, but Finn simply glared at Bellamy, "Your superiority only exists because delinquents follow your cruelty."

Bellamy snickered, "Yes, but they still follow me, and spacewalker, if I don't like you, neither will every other man with a gun."

At that, Finn paled, glancing toward me as if looking for my support, when I didn't offer it up he took a deep breath, "When you need me, you know where I am Clarke." And then he was gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief which quickly disappeared when Bellamy decided to stick around.

"So you did actually sleep with spacewalker." His voice was peculiar.

I clenched my teeth, "For once, back off Bellamy." I snapped.

I was not in the mood to recap what had happened in the forest and the sight of him and the way he'd spoken to me still sent weird feelings of unrest through my body.

"No, wait," His fingers caught my wrist for the second time that day, it was gentle, his fingers were rough and calloused, unlike Finn's, "I didn't, ah, that came out wrong."

I turned back, catching his eyes with mine and waited expectantly.

He shoved both his hands through his hair, and avoided my eyes for a moment, "Look, what I said in the forest, that wasn't, I didn't…" He looked to me briefly, as if I was going to provide him with the words he was looking for, "Look, when I found out that you guys were missing I thought something horrible had happened and you've got to understand, I've looked after O ever since she was born and the idea that I'd failed, that I could have lost her, I, I needed someone other than myself to blame."

It was the first time I'd seen real humanity within Bellamy, he'd always fought to keep up his stone wall of masculinity and strength whenever I was around and seeing it begin to slip was something else. But his words still stung, he had decreased my entire worth as a person in one swoop, "I get that Bellamy, I do, but I did not need that today."

He nodded, "Spacewalker? I didn't mean to sound accusatory, I thought that's what had happened but I didn't know about the whole Raven thing."

"Yeah," I replied wryly, "Neither did I."

His forehead furrowed, "That's a really shit thing for him to do to you."

It was nice to hear someone else say it, to reaffirm what I'd been thinking to myself. There were moments when I thought that perhaps I was being ridiculous, that perhaps it wasn't such a big deal, but to hear Bellamy vocalise it and know that he wouldn't just for my benefit was comforting.

I let a small smile creep onto my lips, "There's a bit of that going around."

He stiffened, the defences sliding back up, "I know what I said was really unnecessary, but I should have been told."

I shrugged, "You would have said no."

He opened his mouth to argue and I cut him off, "Look Bellamy, we don't need to argue about this alright, I don't expect you to understand everything I do and I also don't expect you to apologize for something you said, I don't need you sidestepping around my feelings."

He let a small smile creep onto his lips and my stomach took an unexpected nosedive. It was the first time I had been on the receiving end of it, all freckles, lips, and a soft chin dimple, the sharp edges of Bellamy Blake shorn off.

"Whatever you say princess," His eyes switched down to the blanket clutched in my hands, "I hear you need a place to crash."

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