Chap 4: Falling Apart

Somewhere an animal is in pain. Its screams rent him apart. Do the others not hear it? His insides are all twisted. He can hardly breathe. The screams reverberate in his head. Please somebody show mercy and put the poor thing out of misery. The world revolves around.

A hand shoots out, steadies him. "Professor Snape are you alright?" He looks up: a pale, pointed face, anxious, concerned.

"Lucius?" it is a mere croak.

"No sir, Draco." The voice is both scared and surprised.

"Draco?" It sounds familiar. Where has he heard it?

"Yes sir, Draco. Draco Malfoy."

"I…I..know Lucius Malfoy."

"I am his son, sir, surely you know…."

"Lucius' son?"

"Sir, I think you are not well. Shall I take you the infirmary?"

"I am alright." In front of him the three figures still melted into one another. He shuts his eyes. There is a shooting pain in his head. He shudders and almost falls but the hand gripping him steadies him once again. He hears somebody say, "Let's go outside," and feels somebody leading him. He does not resist, does not open his eyes.

'Sir, will you please sit over here, I will get madam Pomfrey." The same voice. Who is this boy? Lucius' son, he said. When did Lucius become a father? Father like James Potter? And Lily? Lily became the mother of Potter's child. A boy. Yes a son exactly like his father. But no wait, there was something different too, something not like his father. But what?

"Sir please do sit down." The same voice. He opened his eyes. The glare was too much and he snapped his eyes shut. "What did you say your name was?"

"Sir..Professor Snape, I am Draco. Draco Malfoy. I was…I mean am in Slytherin. You are…I mean were my head of the house before you became headmaster that is.." The boy seemed as confused as he himself felt.

Slytherins, the snake, dungeons, Lucius holding a small bundle, the silver prefect badge, potions, Dumbledore offering him a job, Lucius with a blonde woman, a small baby with white blonde hair, the dampness in Lucius' eyes, two women in his room, Draco is my only son Severus. Images flitted past his eyes. Of course Draco!

"I will get madam Pomfrey," the boy moved.

"No Draco," he said grasping his wrist and opening his eyes. Draco's face worried and anxious comes in focus. "All I need is to sit down for a few minutes."

"Sir, are you sure? You are really pale and it seems you have lost a lot of blood."

"There is nothing to worry Draco. All that was just momentary."

" If you say so ."

"But what are you doing outside Draco. Shouldn't you be inside?"

"I…I…" Draco stammered.

"What?" Snape looked at Draco. The boy seemed terrified.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir…I mean…I…I…"

Another set of images flits through his mind. The Astronomy tower, the shaking hands, the Carrows, the werewolf, and Yaxley, Dumbledore's plea, his own voice uttering the unforgivable, the green light and Dumbledore's fall…

"Professor please…please sit down….O sweet Merlin…I'll go get Pomfrey…"

Doubled up in pain, his breathing laboured, he still grasped Draco's arm and shook his head.

"But sir please let me go; you are in no condition to ….

"I told y…you I a ..mm alright, Draco," he was wheezing.

"No sir you are not. You can barely speak," Draco suddenly sounded firm. His voice no longer shook. "And it is not surprising after what you experienced."

Experience! What experience was this boy talking about? The green eyes of a girl who turned into a woman, a wife, and a mother flashed before his eyes. Surely the boy had no inkling about that. The three figures enclosed in each others arms.

"What experience, Draco? What experience? What are you talking about?" The way in which Draco flinched told him that his voice had risen.

"Only…. I mean, only what Potter told us all."

"Potter! What has Potter to do with all this? Tell me everything." His voice was a growl and Draco's eyes were frantic and he tripped over the words as he answered.

"Well before killing the Dark Lord, he said something about you being on the side of Dumbledore, I mean Professor Dumbledore all along, that you were a spy…He also mentioned something about his mother and you…."

Pain. A hot searing knife went through him. The eyes looking at him. His last hour he had thought and the memories given away. Why? Why had he done it. Why had he revealed what he had kept hidden for so long? What was he looking for? Redemption or a chance to present his side of the story? And now that story, his secret was out in the open. The wounds searing, gaping for all to see and soon the vultures will sweep down.: So Snivellus had a crush on Lily, did you?

"Professor, professor. Please in the name of Salazar…" somebody was shaking him. He had fallen on the ground.

He had to get away. Get away before they all came. The four of them, sneering, jibing, making fun. But wait there were things to be collected before that. And then he could leave. This was time for action and not of weakness. Resolutely, he got up. Or tried to because his legs seemed to buckle under him. "Sir.." Draco's voice scared and concerned. He looked up and though he hated it he knew he had to do it. "Draco, take me to the principal's chambers."

"Principal's chambers?!" Draco's pale colour seemed to go a shade paler still.

"Yes."

"But ..but… sir the portrait."

Another memory hit him. As a headmaster he had once summoned Draco to his chamber who had taken one look at the portrait of Dumbledore and had collapsed.

"Draco there wouldn't be any portrait now as Professor Dumbledore is alive once again. Now come on."

Draco seemed about to say something but then decided against it and simply took the proffered hand and led.

Hermione looked on: Harry crushed within the arms of his mother and father. The scene blurred. She realized that her eyes were full of tears. But it did not matter. All around her were people hugging each other, strangled sobs and sounds of weeping filled the air. Her stomach tightened. Where were her parents? Moving around somewhere in Australia without any idea that they had a daughter. Suddenly she wanted to leave this hall and apparate directly to where they were, to be held tightly by them. The tears rolled own her cheeks.

"Hermione, Harry. Where are you two?" Ron's voice.

"Here Ron," she shouted.

"Hermione what are you doing over here?" he came pushing his way towards her.

"Ron look," she gestured again where three figures were entangled with each other. "Harry with his parents."

He looked at her with wide eyes. "It is really incredible isn't it? But Mione you are crying!"

"Oh it is nothing," she said hastily wiping her cheeks. But suddenly he grasped her hand gently and before she could show her surprise his mouth was on her cheeks. His lips sucking the tears. Her stomach gave a lurch. She felt her arms go round him, holding him close. This was real. Ron was with her. They had come out of the nightmare. Warmth flooded in her body. Her tongue of its own accord began exploring his neck while her hands dug deep in his back. Everything faded away…the hall, the clamour, the crowd….nothing else mattered except the boy holding her so close.

"Dumbledore," he said and the gargoyle opened up. As he entered the chambers all the principals stood up in their portraits to give him a standing ovation. "Well done!"

"Bravo!" "Congratulations" "Severus you kept the Slytherin flag flying!" This was Phineas Nigellus.

"Thank you all," he replied.

Draco was staring at the blank space behind the principal's chair looking both perplexed and relieved.

"Severus tell us," Nigellus said, "how were you able to fool Riddle, the greatest legilimens of all time?"

Some other time he would have been happy with this appreciation and applause but now all he could see was the pensieve there in the middle of the room. Hastily he moved towards it. A glance and he knew that these were his memories. He began to put them back in his head. They flashed in his head. Salazar what all had he revealed. But right now there wasn't even time to think of that. He had to get out of Hogwarts and quickly. He rushed into the adjoining room. His living quarters. The books, robes, potions…how would he be able to carry all of them? "Draco," he shouted. The boy came running in the room. "Help me in reducing all these."

"Sir I do not have my wand." Draco's voice was small and his eyes downcast. He felt his headache return. Without a word, he turned and started casting reducing charms on the books. Something cluttered behind him and he heard a startled gasp. "Sir it is here." He looked back, Draco was holding a wand in amazement. "It seemed to materialize out of thin air."

"Don't just stand over there. Do as I told you," he snarled. His heart beat was so loud he feared it was echoing in the room. He would shatter into a thousand pieces were he to encounter anybody. A potion bottle skidded to the ground. Draco gave him a look before shouting, "Reparo." Thankfully he did not ask anything but went about his business. Soon everything was in the pockets of his robes. "Let's leave," he said. The last thing he heard was Nigellus' voice still harping about Slytherins.

They were in the grounds once again. "Draco," he said, whisking the boy by his shoulder so that he faced him, "go back."

Draco paled again, "What about Professor Dumbledore? How do I face him?"

He took a deep breath before replying, "You did not kill him Draco, I did."

"But it was because of me," Draco wasn't looking at him.

"All this can be discussed later. Just go in. Your parents must be frantic."

"But…"

"Just go in Draco. Ask Lucius to return home now." He was exhausted. Something was beating inside his head with unfailing regularity. How was he to disapparate himself? The wards were down, one could disapparate. But did he have it in him? Surely he would splinch himself. A wave of nausea passed over him.

"Professor shouldn't you rest? You are all green. You should come with us."

"You are still here. Didn't I tell you to go inside? It would be better if you all apparated to the manor. NOW"

Thankfully the urgency in his voice propelled Draco towards the hall. With one look back he sprinted towards the hall.

He took a deep breath. Yes he would have to reach his home in another manner. He extended his arms towards the sky willing for that feeling of lightness. His body felt heavy and his head reeled. He muttered the incantation. Putting all his energy he concentrated once again…he felt his feet leave the ground.

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Thanks to all those who are reading this. Also to Padawan Jan-AQ, The kiko person, Lilyflower 1987, Supercatofdoom, Kaillinnearami, Inosakushine, and Misundersnape for taking the trouble of reviewing it. Luv you all.