Chapter 3 – Two Steps Forward

Four months later.

They became quite close, spending their time together every day after lunch in his office, talking about almost everything, from serious subjects, gradually opening up to one another (even though it was completely unprofessional of him to talk with her about his personal life), to every day topics and sometimes even arguing about all kind of silly things like which band was better linkin park or muse.

They were teasing each other constantly, but in a friendly manner, laughing and joking, often playing all sorts of games like checkers, fish and rummy.

In one of the group homes she had been in, the older kids used to play Texas Hold'Em as a drinking game, so when she taught him how to play, minus the drinking of course, she was surprised to find out that he was capable of being quite the trickster despite his honest appearance and decent behavior.

In return, he taught her how to play chess, and when she proved herself to be a really fast learner (she even managed to beat him a couple of times) he acted surprised, even though he completely wasn't.

They definitely enjoyed each other's company and they both shared the feeling that it was the best part of their day, the part that they looked forward to, not that either one of them would admit it of course.

It was a slow development and it definitely took him a while to gain a little bit of her trust.

When he heard that she miscarried, two weeks after her arrival, he wondered whether him visiting her in the hospital would be a good idea, he wasn't obligated to do so but felt the need to, so eventually he decided to go.

She found his presence somewhat comforting as she had no one else in her life that could be with her during that difficult time, of course she didn't let him know that, and basically treated him like a big nuisance, but he did not waiver and she was grateful for that and for the fact that he didn't tell her 'I told you so'.

She blamed herself for the miscarriage, she got into a fight again, actually since she arrived she got into numerous of fights even though he repeatedly told her that she needs to be careful and take care of herself and the baby.

It always started with something small and seemingly insignificant but she was ticked off in an instant, and before she knew it she was clawing, punching and fighting another girl. She had a lot of anger bottled up inside of her, anger with the new situation she found herself struggling adjusting to, anger because of Neal, anger for being gullible, anger because of her childhood and the poor hand that she was dealt, and letting out that anger on the first person in sight that slightly provoked her, deliberately or not, was the easiest way to let off some steam, at least that's what she thought.

So she was extremely grateful he didn't mention anything about it while he kept her company at the hospital, cause even though the doctor assured her that the miscarriage had nothing to do with anything she did, that the fetus had a genetic disorder and did not develop as it should, and that there was nothing she could have done to avert that faith, she still blamed herself and her reckless behavior.

She wasn't even sure why she was grieving, it was his baby after all, and she had no intention of keeping it anyway, she was determined on giving the baby up for adoption despite Killian's attempt convincing her otherwise.

It was rather sweet how he took the time and trouble to pep talk her, to convince her that she was in fact capable of raising a child if that's what she decided she wants to do, but she didn't feel comfortable talking about it with him as they barely knew each other at the time, so she ended the conversation by simply saying that she didn't want the baby and that was that. He already knew better than to push any further.

One step back, two steps forward. That's how their relationship developed.

Three weeks after the miscarriage she mentioned the key that she received in an envelope from an unknown sender. Of course she knew who it was from, and she forced a chuckle when she told Killian that he probably sent it as some kind of a cruel joke.

Even though she tried her best to maintain a sense of lightness in her tone of voice he managed to see beyond her pretense, he noticed that she was hurting, that it bothered her more than she was willing to admit, and he was right.

Ever since the day she watched the officer opening the envelope and dangling the key in front of her she couldn't sleep.

She denied any connection between the key and her lack of sleep, saying to herself that it was her struggle with adjusting to the life in prison, later she told herself it was due to the miscarriage, and it was true in both cases, but that wasn't all, what also kept her awake at nights was the constant wonder if the key actually opened some kind of door.

"Give me your permission and I'll settle this issue for you once and for all" He said sincerely.

"There's no need" She shook her head.

"If you're not curious then I'm" He said so she wouldn't have to admit that she was in fact dying to know if that key she received actually came along with a car "Humor me?" He asked raising his eyebrows, waiting for her reply.

"Fine" She replied "But how are you even going to get the key?" She asked concerned since she knew all of the inmates personal belongings were inventoried and stored in the property room where Mr. Gold was probably watching over them like a hawk.

"Leave it to me" A smile lifted his lips "Worst case scenario I'll owe Mr. Gold a favor, he sure loves making deals" He joked and immediately reassured "Everything will be just fine, I'll let you know right away"

And he did. The next day he gave her the news – the key open and starts a yellow little bug and it was legit, he even checked the papers. She was relieved not having to wait another ten months for the mystery to unravel, and she refused to admit it but she was also relieved to find out that it wasn't a cruel joke, that maybe Neal thought of her and even cared about her at some point of time.

And just like that Killian gained just a little bit more of her trust.

Two steps forward indeed.

…

They were sitting on the hardwood floor in the large space between his desk and the window when they just finished a game of rummy "I got you something" He said as he pushed himself up from the floor "Wait here" He motioned her to stay seated on the floor.

"What is it?" She raised an eyebrow, looking intrigued at the two boxes that he carried one on top of the other. The one on the bottom was larger, pink and decorated with a cupcake image, so she assumed it to be a bakery box. Her breath hitched in her throat when he sat down in front of her and she managed to get a closer look on the box that was on the top. It was a small purple velvet box and she felt nervous at the thought of what was inside it.

"Happy birthday Swan" He smiled as he handed her a small china plate that he grabbed from the bookcase wall, obviously he planned it in advance, and she asked herself how come she hadn't noticed it earlier, since the two plates, a knife and two small forks were sitting on the bookcase shelf beside them the entire time.

"Thanks" She swallowed hard before awkwardly smiling back as a hot blush worked its way to her cheeks, feeling embarrassed and touched at the same time. Today was her eighteen birthday and not only he remembered, he got her a cake and what seemed to be some kind of a present in that velvet box, just the thought made her stomach flutter, it was way too much.

She suppressed the tears of confusion that threaten to fall, it was definitely an unfamiliar feeling for her cause even though she was spending that birthday, her eighteen birthday, in prison, so far it had been one of the better ones – cause someone actually seemed to care.

He whipped out a candle and a lighter from the pocket of his buttoned shirt, obviously he had everything covered. She allowed herself to stare and study him when she knew he wasn't looking, his eyes focused on the cake, placing and lighting the candle and she could feel a tension building up inside of her.

"Make a wish" He said, a huge toothy grin decorating his face as his eyes sparkled along. She hesitated for a brief moment, pushing down the thought about how the handsome man in front of her made her feel, instead, forcing herself to come up with a wish.

"Wanna know what I wished for?" She asked after she blew out the candle and he noticed the mischief in her eyes "I – "

"Shh" He shushed, placing his hand on her mouth and shaking his head "Don't – "

"What?" She cut him off and pushed his hand away "Afraid it won't come true?" She mocked.

"Perhaps" He replied and shrugged, the barest hint of embarrassment audible in his tone. He averted his gaze to the velvet box "Open it" He handed it to her.

She didn't know why but she felt nervous, she glimpsed up at him to discover that he seemed happy and filled with anticipation, when she hesitantly pulled on the matching purple ribbon that decorated the box. Her eyes widened immediately to the sight.

Inside the box there was a white gold bracelet with integrated six delicate gold plated letter charms that formed the word `SAVIOR`. She froze, feeling shocked and uncomfortable at the same time. The bracelet was absolutely beautiful and looked way too expensive. Aside from Neal that stole the swan key-chain for her, no one had ever given her anything.

It was too much, way too much.

"You don't like it?" He asked as she slightly opened her mouth to speak, but just looked at him silently with her big green widened eyes unable to find any words to say. He tried to ignore the silence and pretend that it wasn't awkward, but his flustered smile and the unconscious scratching behind his ear thingy probably gave him away.

"Why savior?" She finally broke the silence and even though the tension still existed he was relieved that they were talking again.

There was something so different about her from any other girl he had ever met. She managed to make him feel nervous and sometimes even insecure, she managed to intrigue him with her sassy and bold behavior, and constantly amazed him with her wisdom and beauty.

He knew he developed feelings for her ever since the first day she stood at his door with those big green beautiful eyes of hers, feelings that only grew deeper and stronger with each encounter, and he knew it was wrong, so wrong, bad form at its finest.

He didn't deny that he liked her but any feelings beyond that, he was determined to push down at all costs, but when he learned that her birthday was coming up, he bought her the bracelet on an impulse and against his better judgment.

"It's a reminder that the only one that can save you is you" He said with a smile and the confused expression on her face intensified "Try it on" He insisted as he gently put it on her wrist, the sensation of his fingers grazing her skin sending shivers down her spine "Do you like it?" He asked hopefully as he lowered his head trying to catch her eyes that were fixed on the bracelet.

"Yes" She said quietly and smiled coyly as she raised her gaze to meet his. The color fitted her pale skin perfectly and the size was accurate as if he had measured her wrist, so yes she liked it, she really, really liked it.

She took it off and placed it back in its velvet box, she was quite aware to the fact that the inmates were not authorized to have personal belongings of that sort "I'll save it for you to when you get out" He noticed that her face fell slightly "Who knows you might get that remission and will be out sooner than you think" He tried to reassure.

"Fuck!" Her eyes widened in distress when she glanced at the clock that was above his desk "I have to go, work resumes in two minutes, I can't be late" She jumped up from the floor and headed for the door in a rush "Sorry about the cake" Her hand stilled on the doorknob as she turned around to face him.

"No problem" He dismissed from his place on the floor "Next year!" The words slipped from his lips quicker than his mind could have processed, so a fraction of a second later, when his mind caught on, he scolded himself inwardly for the slip, luckily she didn't seem to notice or care as she mumbled 'thanks' and rushed out.

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