Chapter 8 – Visitor

The pain in Killian's eyes turned into rage in a matter of seconds, before her silhouette even left the corridor. He knew it wasn't her fault, he knew she was broken, he had seen it in her vacant stare and silent movements.

He only wished he had gotten a chance to talk with her, but he had to make himself available for Sidney. The entire conversation he kept forcing himself to nod and smile, while he was deep in thought, his mind keeps drifting elsewhere. He could feel his body tense, the rage building up inside of him with every passing second, and when Sidney finally left he acted immediately.

"Whoa Jones, what's going on?" Whale was startled in his chair when Killian stormed into his office and slammed the door shut behind him.

"You stay away from her, do you hear me?" Killian admonished as he leaned his hand on the desk, his brow shot up to his hairline and his eyes pierced angrily at Whale.

"What?" Whale asked confused as he was taken aback. This was the second time that day that someone had barged into his office, first Emma, now Killian.

What exactly was going on with them?

"I said stay the hell away from her" Killian repeated, much slower this time, accentuating every word as he clenched his fist on the desk, feeling his blood run even hotter to the sight of Whale's unbuttoned shirt and disheveled hair.

"I heard you, I just have no idea what you are talking about" Whale said innocently and shrugged.

"Oh but I think you do" Killian said, a hint of mockery in his tone of voice as his eyes narrowed at Whale.

"I honestly don't" Whale forced a chuckle as he leaned back in his chair and placed a hand over his heart.

"Swan" Killian replied impatiently "You stay away from her" Killian clenched his jaw as he crossed his arms across his chest, his eyes piercing at Whale once again.

"Well what makes you think she wants me to stay away? I didn't do anything she didn't want me to. You know me Jones, I'm all about consensual" Whale said, a smug grin taking over his face as Killian's fingers tightened hard over his crossed arms, as if he was trying to hold himself back.

"Well she's in no state to consent to anything of this sort, none of these women are, the fact that they are locked up here behind bars makes consent impossible, you should know that by now" Killian scolded.

"Oh come on, cut the righteousness already" Whale replied as he leaned forward at the desk "I'm just giving her what she needs" Whale countered before his smug grin spread even wider "It may come as a shock to you but these ladies do have needs you know"

"Don't push it Whale" Killian exclaimed, tapping his finger firmly on the desk as he spoke, emphasizing that he is far from taking the matter lightly.

"Seriously Jones, what is up with you?" Whale asked as he looked at Killian and raised his brows in wonder.

"Listen to me, cause I'm only going to say this once, you don't mess with her again, you don't touch another hair on her head, do we understand each other?" Killian warned as he looked at Whale with a pointed stare, his eyes burning with rage.

"Look, next time I see her – "

"There won't be a next time" Killian cut him off "You transfer her to Hopper immediately" Killian ordered "Not tomorrow, not next week, you go now and make sure she gets transferred immediately"

"Or what?" Whale provoked as he leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed across his chest as a smirk spread across his face.

"Or" Killian looked at Whale intently, making sure he was listening carefully before he lowered his voice a notch and continued "I will take you down, and lord knows you've done enough to be taken down for"

Whale's smirk turned into a forced and slightly nervous grin as he was a bit intimidated with Killian's behavior. In all the time they worked together he had never seen him that way.

Killian was always so pleasant, calm and collected. So Whale was in complete shock when Killian suddenly seemed truly and extremely irritated, his eyes burning with anger as if they were shooting arrows with full intent to kill "Whatever Jones, just take it easy" Whale sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes "She's just a tease anyways, I figured she asked for a transfer because you wouldn't satisfy her needs, now I get it was the other way around?"

"This is none of your business" Killian spat and huffed a breath through his nose.

"I'm just kidding Jones" Whale forced a chuckle "Seriously what's wrong with you?" He asked as he grimaced and narrowed his eyes at Killian.

"Nothing" Killian closed his eyes as he shook his head before he ran a hand through his hair and added more calmly "Just make sure she gets the transfer, she could really use someone like Hopper"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Whale asked as he raised his brows at Killian in wonder.

"I mean she could use someone that can help her to deal with her issues"

"Are you saying I'm incapable of helping her?" Whale seemed to be slightly offended before he continued "But just so we're clear - what issues exactly are we talking about?"

"See?" Killian chided as he gestured with his hand towards Whale "You haven't even read her file. What are you doing here anyway?" Killian fought the urge to roll his eyes "You know what, forget about it, just go already and make this transfer happen" He stared at Whale, not leaving before he got a nod of approval from him.

…

The influence of the alcohol began to fade, and the more that it did, the stupider she felt.

What was she thinking? Trying to find comfort in Whale's arms?

She knew who he was, and what he was like, she knew he didn't care about anyone but himself, she knew he had only one thing on his mind and she knew he couldn't have possibly offer her any real comfort.

She already hated herself enough as it was, her latest actions only making her loath herself even more, if that was even possible.

What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she acting this way?

Her self-destruct mechanism seemed to be working at full speed, and for the first time in weeks she was determined to stop it, stop behaving like a scared little girl, start taking responsibility for her actions, pull herself together, be strong and focus on doing better once she gets out, and she was going to do it all by herself, she didn't want help from anyone this time.

Two days later, while she was in the library, she heard her name being called, she turned around to see officer Blue "Emma, you have a visitor" Blue said and Emma's heart skipped a beat.

She had a visitor?

Since she arrived no one had come to visit her, and there wasn't anyone she could think of that would come. As she followed officer Blue down the halls she kept weighing the options, thinking who it could possibly be.

She started with Mary Margaret, who had only been away for a couple of days, and was living in Storybrooke Maine, that was thousands of miles away from the Phoenix prison, so it made absolute no sense for it to be her.

She then thought of Graham. She remembered the last time they were together, they were in her tiny bed at the group home they were both living in at the time, it was only the second time that they had slept together, she remembered being nervous around him, she remembered that when he slid inside of her it hurt a little, but he was kind and gentle, kissed her softly as he moved slowly inside of her, it ended rather quickly, after all they were both only sixteen and inexperienced, and then they cuddled together until dawn, when he snuck out of her bed and into his own.

They were only in the beginning of their relationship, only starting to develop feelings for each other when her already fragile heart got broken into a million pieces. The next morning when she was sitting at the large table with the rest of the kids as they were eating breakfast, she noticed Graham was missing, and when she heard the extremely loud knock on the door she knew it just couldn't be good, the last image she had was him packing up his stuff in a brief, before he was shipped off to juvie.

She got to say goodbye like the rest of the kids as they were standing together in the driveway, no kiss, no hug, no nothing, barely a faint wave, and he was gone for good. They never crossed paths since then, he didn't return any of her letters, and he hadn't looked for her once he got out.

Could it possibly be him? Did he finally come looking for her? But how could he possibly know where she was at? And why now all of a sudden?

It didn't make any sense either.

Last (and least) she thought of Neal, he was the most reasonable option. After all he had sent her the car keys so he knew exactly where she was at, the bastard, and he did owe her an explanation so perhaps that's what he came there to do. She wasn't sure she was ready to see him, after being hurt so badly by him, to meet with him when she felt so small, being locked up in that place, without any real free choice. But she had to, she had to face him and be as strong as she possibly could.

So before officer Blue opened the door to the visitors room she took a deep breath, reminding herself that she can do it, that she didn't care about him anymore, that he no longer held her heart in his hands, that he wasn't able to hurt her anymore cause she stopped loving him the moment she realized that all of it was real, that it wasn't just a bad dream, that he literally left her to rot in prison. She might have been angry with him but she was sure as hell that she didn't feel anything more.

So she won't cry, she will look him in the eyes without fear and she will be strong.

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she was completely over him.

And then the door opened and everything she had just told herself evaporated into the thin air. Her heart seized in her chest at the sight of him, he was sitting at the furthest table, waiting for her, she was suddenly nervous and anxious and flustered, and her legs betrayed her as they seemed to be glued to the floor, he raised his gaze and their eyes met, and that was that, she was a complete mess. She could feel a lump in her throat which made her swallow hard as she stared into his eyes.

It wasn't Neal. It wasn't Graham either.

It was him staring back at her with his bright blue eyes and hopeful smile of his. She didn't see that coming, and she was sure as hell wasn't prepared. All day she had been telling herself to be strong, to pull herself together, to do better and stop being such an emotional train-wreck, and then it was all gone, there he was and she just knew she couldn't handle it.

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