Thanks a bunch for the reviews guys! Your opinions really keep me motivated (-:

Also nolechic512 I really loved reading your opinion and it definitely inspired me in this chapter as you can probably tell! I was struggling to really get across the conflict Clarke was feeling and why it was affecting her, because technically Bellamy didn't really have ties to her and wasn't really in the wrong, but also definitely WAS and your review helped me to convey that! I would be really upset in her position but it's hard to articulate just why.

This chapter also reveals the when but if you're struggling to place it I'll pop a more detailed note at the end! Ciao and enjoy! x

Clarke POV

I could hear them calling for me, Bellamy at first, then Raven and later, Finn. Their voices were quiet and guilty and I wanted nothing to do with any of them at that moment. The voices soon quietened and I heard Raven reassure Bellamy of my safety. Her whispered calm made me angry. I wondered whether Raven's injury was worsening and how she had managed to limp around so far, and part of me knew that I should go and check on her but I couldn't bring myself to face her yet. Most of the others were asleep and the camp was silent. I lay just outside the boundary of the fence line, in the shadow of the fence hidden from both my camp and the grounders. The sky above me was a dark purple and stars were glowing like tiny gemstones. It was all so beautiful and I was torn between wanting to stay and wanting to go back to the Ark where the sky always looked the same and where there was no time for boys and regulations prevented stupid things from happening. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put delinquent youths in charge of their own suicide expedition was an idiot. All I wanted was no responsibilities and the opportunity to escape every single duty that had been thrown at my feet.

I shouldn't have been surprised that Bellamy had slept with Raven, of course he had, they were two people who were hurting and who knew they could find solace in the other person. I wondered when it had happened, I knew that it wouldn't have been when Bellamy and I were together and so I couldn't really be upset about the act itself. Could I? I wondered whether they had made a pact not to tell me, all whispers and linked pinkies, It'll be best that she doesn't know, making the decision to keep this from me. Raven had slept with both of the men I had liked before I had. I was so unprepared to deal with this kind of situation.

I wondered what their relationship had meant to one another, had one of them had a crush? Had it been just sex? Why did it happen? Who decided not to tell me? I thought of how close Raven and I had become, how she encouraged me to let Bellamy in and I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands. I thought of Bellamy's whispered I think I'm falling in love with you, and I thought of his face when Finn had said, …you screwed Blake!

Without warning my mind suddenly clicked into place that it was Christmas Eve tomorrow. Christmas, the only time that the Ark truly seemed to be alive, when people would make red and green decorations out of anything that they could find, where food was more freely allowed, where happiness thrived. I felt sick.

A bird of some sort cried above me and jolted me out of my thoughts; I couldn't hide out here forever. Sighing I pulled myself to my feet, dusting the damp dirt of my pants and slowly climbed through the broken gap in the fence line. The camp was eerily silent and I crept slowly toward the drop ship, knowing that I would have to check on Raven's wound.

I was surprised to find that most people had remained in there to sleep, there were bodies strewn everywhere, curled up with each other and blankets and I had to tip toe around them so that I wouldn't accidentally stand on someone. Despite everything it warmed my heart to see everyone bundled in here together, even Murphy which ropes tied around his wrists and ankles was curled in one corner, asleep. Raven was asleep on the table and I wove my way toward her, stepping over the sleeping bodies that were around her table. My heart leapt into my throat when I recognized Bellamy's sleeping face beneath me. He was curled on one side beneath a blanket, an unhappy little furrow in his forehead and one hand splayed across the floor as if he was reaching for something, his fingers half curled around the air. I wanted to curl up next to him and press his fingers to my lips but I resisted when I felt the stab of hurt stab at my chest

I squeezed my eyes shut and quietly checked Raven's breathing and the temperature of her brow; she seemed well and her wound was not seeping so I decided to leave the thorough check up until the morning.

(Time gap)

"Clarke!" The yell tore through my doze and I jolted upright, my head spinning.

Octavia burst through the entry of my tent, taking in my messy bed hair and clear disorientation, "Thank goodness," She sighed, slumping down beside me, "No one could find you last night and the entire camp has lost all remaining sanity in your absence."

I raised my eyebrows at her before scrubbing my knuckles across my face in an attempt to wake myself up, "Why, what's happening?" I grumbled, the sound muted by my hands. I was also extremely aware of how bloody cold it was.

"There's so much to clean up after last night's storm and Jasper and Monty realized that it was Christmas Eve and have begun mass producing moonshine in preparation for tomorrow," She paused, "And Bellamy and Raven really want to talk to you."

I groaned louder, collapsing backwards onto my bed, realizing that I had slept fully clothed and probably right where Raven and Finn usually slept. Octavia lay back beside me, tugging some blankets over herself, "Did you really mean to end it with Bell?" She asked quietly.

I removed my fingers from my eyes and met her own, aware of her conflicting emotions, a battle between being a supportive friend to me and a supportive sister to Bellamy, "Yes," I replied, my voice catching slightly in my throat, "I can't be in a relationship down here that doesn't have 100% trust involved."

She sighed, nodding, "I get that but how could he have told you? 'I love you Clarke and by the way I fucked your best friend'."

"You're my best friend." I replied, deflecting the real question.

She couldn't help but grin at me, "I'm your sister." She replied simply, punching me in the shoulder lightly.

"But seriously," She continued, "I would be mad as well and I know that'll make things weird between all of you for a while but he would never have done it if he was with you or if you guys were going to be something you know?"

"That's not the point O," I sighed, "It's that this has already happened to me, with Finn and Raven, and the fact that Bellamy knew how much that hurt me and yet he's also been with her? He should have told me, he should have known that, that was something that I would have needed to know. And then there's the question of why it happened, should I be worried about that?"

"It was just sex Clarke," She replied, reaching out to grab my hand in a very sisterly way, "Raven was hurting because of you and Finn and Bellamy—"

"Bellamy what?" I asked, "Bellamy couldn't possibly resist a girl throwing herself at him? And when did this happen?"

"You know that day after Bellamy was injured and he left the drop ship?" She started.

"Seriously?" I replied loudly, "That was the day Raven helped us in the medical bay the first time and—" I was thinking about the way I had tended to Bellamy's wound and the way I had already begun to see him differently.

"She was trying to get back at Finn with the person she knew would most annoy him and," She paused, then snapped her mouth shut, appearing to think better about what she was about to say.

"And what? Wait did you know?" I widened my eyes at her.

"No!" She replied fiercely, "Of course not, I would have kicked his butt, and that's exactly what I did when I found out last night!"

I allowed a small smile and squeezed her hand, "Thanks O."

"I just," She sighed, guilt flickering across her expression, "I think she knew that Bellamy liked you, I think she guessed and I think part of her sleeping with him was to get at you and Finn."

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off when a triangle of sunlight cut through the tent, followed by a head of messy dark curls.

"Bellamy, go away." Octavia snapped, sitting up on her elbow and gesturing at him to leave.

He ignored her, roving his eyes over the tangle of blankets until they found me, "Clarke—" He started.

I cut him off, "Please go away."

Instead he pushed himself further into the tent, ignoring Octavia's grumbles and curses of protest, and crouched beside me, but instead of launching straight into an apology he shoved one hand through his hair and surveyed the tent, "Where'd you go last night?" he asked quietly, "We couldn't find your anywhere and I was worried that you might have an injury from the tree."

I shrugged, pulling myself into a sitting position so that I didn't feel like a child being put to bed, instead I felt sandwiched between the Blake siblings, "I went somewhere where people weren't."

He nodded, sadness flickering across his expression, "Can we talk?"

"I'm going to duck out," Octavia announced quickly, extricating herself from the blankets and ducking out through the tent.

I bit my lip, trying not to get distracted by his intense gaze, "I don't know what else to say to you, I really wished you'd told me and the fact that you didn't tells me that we weren't what I thought we were and that what we were is not what I want."

He clenched his jaw, hurt clear on his face, "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd look at me differently and I knew you—"

"Then why'd you do it?" I whispered, my hands balling into fists.

His gaze softened and he dropped one hand down to cover my own, "I don't know, she came to me and I," He inhaled, chewing on his lip, "I wanted something to distract me from what I was beginning to feel for you, something that was meaningless and simple."

"But you knew what happened with her and Finn, you knew that if anything happened with you and I that I would have that connection to her again." I was suddenly so frustrated that he couldn't understand.

"I didn't think anything would happen with us," He sighed, "I thought you hated me and Raven was so angry at Finn and it was in the heat of the moment and I don't know what else I can say to you."

"There's nothing you can say," I exhaled, climbing to my feet, "I'm not mad at you Bellamy, I'm just disappointed. Remember when you said, 'I'm not Finn, Clarke'? Well it turns out in some way you are."

Thanks for reading, please drop I review, I LUV receiving them!

Note: After Bellamy left the tent in chapter 6, he was feeling pretty conflicted about Clarke and in between that and Raven's arrival at the medical bay to help out, that's when they had their little moment.

PS. Next chapter is Christmassy! Pps. Merry Christmas to everyone!