I'm definitely sceptical/nervous about uploading this chapter as you guys all had so many opinions about how you wanted things to go and I don't want to disappoint any of you! I'm not 100% sure that this is even how I expected it to go but I re-read and re-wrote this so many times that I've just confused myself and yeah, this is what I ended up with!

Ps. The next chapter will most likely be Christmassy as well, and hopefully a little more light-hearted! The heavy emotional stuff is not something I'm good at handling, I hate the idea of it sounding tooooo sappy ugh! Let me know what you think!

Clarke POV

Hurt flooded across his expression.

He dropped his eyes to his hands, in an attempt to hide the pain that my words had caused him, "I see," He said quietly, keep his eyes on his hands, "I didn't know you thought of it like that."

"Bellamy—"

He cut me off, bringing his eyes up to meet mine, this time they brought with them defensiveness and anger, "I would never have treated you the way Spacewalker did, never." His fists were clenched as he climbed to his feet, "I would never string you along like that, what I did, keeping this from you, I thought it was for the best."

I clenched my teeth, "You don't get to make the decisions about what's best for me."

I was suddenly remembering all the little fights we'd had when we'd first arrived on earth, clashing with each other, opinions, hard glances and snapping at each other. This was different, that had been petty emotions that proved our dislike for each other, this was betrayal and hurt, deeper emotions that proved how much we now meant to each other. And that was why glaring at him like I was now and seeing that anger reflected back in his eyes, hurt so much more.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," His voice was tight and taut like the muscles in his forearms, and suddenly I felt as though we were strangers again, "And I'm sorry that my actions hurt you in any way, that was never and will never ever be my intention."

His voice softened at the end when he said and will never ever be my intention.

"I know that." I whispered quietly.

He nodded, and I could practically see his walls beginning to rise back up, walls that I had spent so long breaking through, "I can understand that you would want to keep our relationship strictly professional now for the good of the camp and I respect that."

I went to reply, to tell him that I didn't want that, to open my arms and inhale his scent and press my lips to his collarbone, but my voice caught in my throat and my heart stopped me.

He nodded, taking in my silence and I glimpsed the overwhelming hurt in his eyes briefly before he turned and walked out of my tent, his back stiff and his fists still clenched at his sides.

I didn't stop him.

Bellamy POV

My eyes burned as I left her tent and I dug my fingernails into my palms, ashamed of the pain I was feeling and frustrated.

"Hey, how'd it go?" O appeared beside me, falling into step with me and scanning my face in search of an answer and obviously getting one, "Oh, Bell I'm so –"

"Don't O," I replied tightly, "I am definitely not in the mood to be interrogated and insulted by my sister, nor to get any pity. It didn't work out, I should've known from the start that it wouldn't."

She was staring at me with big, sympathetic eyes, "Clarke just needs to cool off Bell, she's standing up for herself and I know how much you mean to her. You guys will work it out."

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, trying to embrace old Bellamy, "Plenty more hot girls on earth. I have to go O, go get excited about Christmas." Even to me my voice sounded pathetic.

Pity overtook sympathy on her face and I turned my back and marched away before I started yelling at something or shooting my gun at the trees. I hadn't felt this out of place in the camp since throwing the radio in the river and feeling the hatred of half the camp on me. Knowing that Clarke Griffin was disappointed in you tended to make you feel incredibly small.

I needed to punch something. I also needed to feel Clarke's hand in mine, her wrist pressed against my skin, her pulse.

Clarke POV

I peeked out through the gap in the tent and watched as Bellamy headed off across the camp and was intercepted by Octavia; they had a brief chat before Bellamy stalked away. Octavia visibly sighed before turning on heel and heading toward my tent. I quickly ducked back inside to hide the fact that I had been watching. I hated watching his back, his shoulder blades visible through his navy shirt, his muscles tense. I ached to smooth my fingers across his shoulders and relieve the tension in his muscles, but whenever I thought of my fingers touching his skin I imagined him tracing his fingers up along Raven's ribcage and flattening his palm across her back. Bellamy and I hadn't even been that far physically yet and in one day he'd had that with Raven, that passion. I probably would have continued to torture myself with such images if Octavia hadn't marched through the doorway of my tent and crashed straight into me.

"Ow Clarke, jesus, I'm sorry!" She muttered, pulling me back upright and balancing herself.

I laughed, trying to kick the heavy feeling in my stomach and the choking feeling in my throat as I realized that Bellamy and I were over, "O you're like a battering ram."

She raised her eyebrows at me, "I would like to take that as a compliment, from what I've read in books, battering rams are very handy in battle and are difficult to destroy."

I couldn't help but smile at her, there were tiny bits of Bellamy scattered throughout her juxtaposed with attributes that were entirely her own and I adored that about her, "Then I definitely meant it as one."

She examined my expression more critically, her own suddenly turning more serious, "I spoke to Bellamy."

I nodded, distracting myself by pulling a jacket on and pulling my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame it, "I thought you might."

She watched as I organized my bed and we exited the tent together, "I know you don't want to talk about it right now so I won't pry but you do have to talk to Raven because you have to see her."

I nodded, dread making a home in the pit of my stomach, "Yeah I know."

"I'll come with you," She said simply, hooking her arm through mine as we made our way to the drop ship, "And I know you aren't in the mood but there's no way I'm letting you escape the Christmas festivities tonight and tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes at her, letting a small smile creep onto my face, "I would be disappointed if you didn't try to force me into something ridiculous and festive."

"I'll make you the most gorgeous red and green hat," She said dreamily, staring at something non-existent in the sky as if she was caught up in her own dreams of the ridiculous hat, "It'll be a crown, your very own princess crown."

"Should I make you and Lincoln masquerade masks so you can skip around the camp tonight unnoticed by everyone?" I joked, bumping my hip into hers.

Her expression changed slightly at the word masquerade, but she quickly recovered, "Oh that would be glorious!"

By the time we made it into the drop ship I was in better spirits than I had been in the last 24 hours, people were leaving the drop ship and tugging belongings with them, greeting us on the way out. The excitement for Christmas was palpable, people who I barely interacted with were grinning at me and saying Merry Christmas and it was incredible. My mood quickly dropped though when my eyes zeroed in on the corner of the med bay. Raven was lying across the table, propped up on her elbow, arguing in a quiet voice with the boy standing beside the table. Finn.

"How nice of you to join us princess!" Another voice called and I whipped around to see Murphy sitting in the corner of the ship, his wrists and ankles still tied together, his expression far more together than the last time I'd seen him.

"Shut up Murphy," Raven snapped, her eyes meeting mine briefly and desperately, and I realized that Finn must have somehow landed guard duty of Murphy.

"What's he doing still in here?" I asked, directing my question at Finn, although I didn't particularly feel like conversing with either of them.

He met my eyes awkwardly, cheeks reddening slightly, "Bellamy said that, for now this is the most secure place to hold him whilst we work out what we're going to do with him."

I nodded, walking over to Raven without meeting her eyes, "Fair enough, just make sure you don't take your eyes off him."

I kept my voice neutral and unemotional despite the fact that I could feel both Finn and Raven's eyes boring into the back of my head.

"I need you to lie on your stomach." I told Raven, meeting her eyes but keeping my expression void of emotion.

"Clarke," She blurted out, words beginning to tumble from her mouth, "I'm really sorry for what happened with Bellamy. I admit that when I did it, it was partly to spite you because of what happened with Finn and I couldn't be more ashamed of that. I was so angry to come all this way to find that out and I didn't know you, and I was searching for someone to blame and I am so sorry." Her voice was almost desperate as she pleaded with me.

Finn made a funny noise and started to speak but was cut off by a hissed "Shut up now" from Octavia.

I nodded at Raven and I so desperately wanted to just forget that it had happened and have my friend back, but I was struggling, "I get it Raven, I really do. Who you and who Bellamy decide to screw wasn't and isn't any of my business."

Her eyes widened slightly and she glanced over toward Octavia as she moved to lie on her stomach, "Please tell me if there's anything I can do to get you to forgive me, please Clarke."

I was silent for a moment before speaking, "Your wound looks clean. You need to make a decision about how you want to progress from here. I recommend attempted removal, as I'm confident that with assistance from the Ark that would be the best path." I moved away to wash my hands.

She flickered her eyes between Octavia and I, desperately searching for some assistance from our friend, "Clarke please, I regret sleeping with him and I know he does too!"

I started to walk away before turning back to look at her, "I don't blame you for sleeping with him Raven, I understand that and I understand that headspace. What I don't understand is why, once we became friends and you knew about Bellamy and I; that you didn't think to tell me? You knew how I felt, you went through the same thing and yet you still didn't say a word! I trusted the two of you more than almost everyone on this Earth. You are meant to be family." My voice cracked at the end and I spun on my heel and practically jogged out the doorway.

(Time Gap)

Surprisingly I didn't have to deal with any injuries for the rest of the day, everyone was too caught up in their festive spirit and excitement to venture out of the camp or to do any hard work. The camp was however, a flurry of activity. Monty and Jasper appeared to of obtained a large container that was once in the dropship and from what I could tell, were brewing moonshine within it. I also suspected that they'd been testing it as they were going as they were both strangely giggly and at one point Monty laughed so hard that he tripped on his own shoes and fell flat on his face in the mud; almost suffocating himself with more hysterical laughter.

I caught glimpses now and then of Bellamy who was spending a lot of time around the gate with Roma and Miller, although what they were doing I didn't know. They looked as though they were trying to rig something up along the top of the fence. Every time I saw him, my breath caught in my throat. At one point his eyes met mine briefly, before passing over me as if I wasn't there.

A bunch of girls including Octavia were attempting to loop together a plant that they'd discovered, that happened to have dark red flowers attached to it. They were creating some sort of chain and it were planning on hanging it along the fence.

The sun was beginning to make its way downwards across the sky, the chill was beginning to set in and I decided that I needed some moonshine.

"Clarke!" Jasper called excitedly when I appeared beside him, "Wanna beverage?"

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips, "I would love one thanks."

"Coming riiiiiiiiiight up!" Monty said happily, popping the p with his lips and passing me a cup of clear liquid.

I stayed to have a couple of drinks with Monty and Jasper before the sun disappeared completely and I heard and shouts of appreciation from the fence. I hurried over to have a look. Rigged up along the curve of the top of the fence was a line of twinkling flames, the word candles popped up in my mind at the sight of them. They were absolutely beautiful, tiny orange flickering lights dotted along the top, illuminating the red and green plant decorations below. I sighed, sitting down on a patch of grass, taking in the view.

"Hey," His voice was gentle as he sat down beside me, pulling his knees up and resting his forearms on them, his eyes on the candles, "Do you like them?"

The flickering from the fires was casting a soft orange glow across his features, his curly hair extra dark in the light, and his expression was sincere and sweet as he stared, at the fire, captivated, the kind of expression that didn't demand anything, "They're gorgeous." I whispered, smiling softly at him.

For a moment we were both silent, taking in the flickering lights and the raucous excitement coming from the rest of our camp. I felt proud, watching them all, proud of how far we'd all come. Movement in the darker part of our camp and I glimpsed one, little brunette tugging a burly young man through the gap in the fence before they both disappeared into her tent. I couldn't help the grin the tugged at my lips, I was so happy for Octavia's happiness.

Bellamy broke the silence, with a crooked, one corner quirked up kind of smile, "I have something for you."

I frowned, pulling my gaze away from the beckoning excitement around me, "What, why?"

He dropped his eyes, seeming uncomfortable for the first time since he'd sat down, "I had already made it for you before we," He paused, inhaling, "Before you know, and I wanted to give it to you anyway."

I stared at him as he reached into the pocket of his jacket and curled his fingers around something, "Hold your hand out." He said quietly, reaching out his fingers toward my wrist.

I let him take my wrist and tie something around it before letting my wrist go, but keeping his fingers on my palm, holding it upright so I could see.

It was a bracelet made from meticulously braided dark twine, and attached to it was a tiny stone charm that had been carved in the shape of a tiny crown. The edges were rough and the shape itself was slightly uneven but it was absolutely beautiful and I had no doubt that Bellamy had carved it himself.

"Merry Christmas princess." He whispered, his thumb tracing gently across the inside of my palm.

"Bellamy," I whispered overwhelmed, tears beginning to prick my eyes, "It's beautiful, thank you, I don't know what to say."

He reached his spare hand toward me, as if to push a lock of hair away from my face, but seemed to think better of it an dropped his hand, "I miss you." His voice was soft and it cut into me, "Last night, not having you sleep beside me felt wrong and I just, I'm so sorry and I don't know what else to say and it's killing me that I messed this up and that there's nothing I can say to apologize."

He was struggling to effectively communicate his feelings and it was a Bellamy I knew all too well. I sighed, dropping my hand on top of his on my hand, so that his was enclosed between both of mine, his skin warm and familiar, "I miss you too, but I'm not going to lie to you and say that I'm over what happened. That would be unfair to both of us."

"I don't expect you to be, I just," He paused, flipping my hands so that they were both enclosed between both of his, "I'm in love with you Clarke," He said simply, tilting my chin up so that my eyes met his, keeping his other hand wrapped around mine, "I know that you don't want to be with me right now but I want to fight for us. I need to fight for us. We're good Clarke, you and I, together, we work and there's no one else I want to ever be with. Let me show you that I'm serious about this, please."

I struggled to find words, dropping my eyes to his hand on mine, but I finally managed to choke out, with tears blurring my eyes, "How did your huge hands manage to make something so tiny?"

He laughed and the sound was like a warm beverage, and I couldn't help but lean forward and tug him into an embrace. My arms snaked around his waist and he pulled his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder, his heart beat quick against my chest. The scent of his skin and his hair filled my nose.

"Show me." I whispered.

Drop me a review and let me know what you thought of it!
Ps. This does not mean they're officially back together! They're on their way though I think xx
Pps. I've been thinking about starting another Bellarke fic at some point, let me know if you'd like that/ read it (-: