Thank to all who reviewed, and all who didn't review, but didn't get some giggles out of my insanity!

It's been a while since I updated somthing, and I wanted to write somthing about the original apprentices, and I thought how Braig (Xigbar) lost his eye might be funny.

Enjoy my randomness!

Even raised his head from his notes, and shot a look across the room at Braig.

The man was petting a heartless.

Yes. Petting. Stroking it and saying things like "Who a cutie heartless?"

It was quite sickening. The temptation to vomit was nearly unbearable.

10 seconds later, Ienzo entered the laboratory. He gave a nod of recognition to Even, and turned to face Braig.

He twitched.

"Braig." Ienzo said in a quiet voice. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm petting a heartless!" Braig rolled his eyes. "What do you think I'm doing?"

"Why are you doing that?!" Hissed the younger apprentice. "Don't you remember what happened last week?"

Flashback!

Dilan prepared the experiment.

"Okay, get the heartless out of the cage." Ienzo sighed, flipped his hair out of his eyes, and put his hand into the cage.

NASH!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

End of Flashback!

"You just didn't hold it properly!" Braig protested. "It was bound to attempt to get free."

"I have a massive scar on my arm from where it blimmin' bit me! Look!" Ienzo pulled up his sleeve and waved it around. Braig snorted.

"And how do we know you didn't have it before?"

"Because I didn't have a bloody massive scar on my arm before!" Ienzo screeched.

"You two, be quiet." Muttered Even. "Please do not argue over something so trivial as a heartless." He tutted. "Act like adults. Both of you."

"Yeah Ienzo! Act your age!" Braig grinned, causing Ienzo to twitch irritably.

"I am sixteen. You, on the other hand, are-"

"Let's move on!" Snapped Braig, who was incredibly sensitive about his age. Dilan walked in and stared.

"Why do we still have that heartless bastard?"

"Who, Even?" Braig frowned. "I'd be cruel to chuck him out, wouldn't it."

"No, not him." The other apprentice sighed. "I mean that heartless."

"Braig has decided to keep it as a pet." Murmured Ienzo, glaring at the aforementioned heartless.

"Someone tell me he's taking the mick?"

"Mike… That would be a good name for him!" Braig yelped, pointing at the heartless.

"We are not naming the heartless Mike." Even called from the other side of the room.

"You're right… Steve would suit him better." Dilan, who had been drinking coffee, spat it out all over Ienzo.

"OH YOU IDIOT!!" Yelled Ienzo, ready to kill Dilan.

"Braig, do not name the heartless Steve! I forbid it!" Even yelled.

"Too late."

"Who's a good Steve? Yes you are! You're a good Steve!" Braig told the heartless.

"If he starts baby talking to it, I reserve the right to punch him in the face." Dilan snarled. Braig just smiled, and reached into the cage.

"3… 2… 1…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MY FACE!! HOLY COW!! MY FAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!!"

Sometime later…

Ienzo scowled at the man in front of him.

"EVEN!! SHOULDN'T YOU BE DOING THIS!!"

"Sorry, I can't hear you Ienzo!" Scowling harder, Ienzo grabbed an eye-patch and shoved it over Braig's head.

Earlier…

Xehanort, Aeleus and Ansem the Wise were walking along the corridors when they heard a scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MY FACE!! HOLY COW!! MY FAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!!"

"What on earth?" The three exclaimed.

"GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!!"

"Say please."

"GET IT OFF BEFORE I SHOOT YOU!!"

"That also works."

"This will make a fascinating experiment!"

"Shut up Even, you'll only make him worse."

"GET IT OFF ME NOW!!"

"…"

"WHAT!! HURRY UP, IT'S GOUGING OUT MY EYE!!"

"… How the hell do you remove a heartless from someone's face?"

"… Uh… ANSEM!!" At Dilan's scream, Ansem, Xehanort and Aeleus walked into the lab.

"What on earth…" Braig was running around the lab, his voice now hoarse from screaming. Ienzo stood there, frowning at the older apprentice, trying to work out a way of removing the heartless, as was Dilan. And Even was taking notes.

"Do I want to know what happened?"

"Braig was being an idiot. Again." Ienzo stated, as Braig glared at him with his visible eye. "What? It's true."

"I was not being an idiot!"

"You were petting a bloody heartless!" Ienzo yelled. "That counts as being an idiot. Particularly one that has a taste for human flesh!"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"… Can I kill him?" Ienzo begged, earning a shake of the head from Ansem.

"Guys? It's digging in."

"So?"

"MY GOD GET IT OFF ME!!" Braig screamed. Aeleus smiled to himself. His time to shine.

WRENCH!!

"His eye wasn't supposed to come out, was it?"

Back with Ienzo and Braig…

Ienzo watched the older man with one visable eye.

"So, what have you learnt?"

"To listen to you more often." Braig muttered darkly from behind his eyepatch.

"And?"

"Not to pet heartless."

"Or?"

"Baby talk to them."

"Because?"

"It makes them pissy." Braig grumbled, as he was also pissy.

"Good boy." Ienzo imitated Braig's accent with a smirk on his face. "Learn those rules and you'll go far in life." As Ienzo went to leave, he turned and stared. "Why the hell don't you have your trousers on?"

"… Dunno really." Ienzo rolled his eyes.

"Pull them up. Now." He paused again. "You wear rabbit boxers?"

"IENZO!!"

"Leaving."

Slam.

Please review!

Peace out dudes!