Thank ye all for the reviews! But this story comes with a warning...

I'm ill. When I'm ill, I get even more insane than usual. Also, this was written in less than an hour, the fastest I've ever written a story.

Sora was sitting on the desk of Ansem's study, frowning down at the electronic device in his hands. You know this device well, I presume. Cloud Strife has one.

It is called a mobile phone.

It was small and blue, the same colour as his eyes. Kairi had given it to him as a birthday gift.

Now all he had to do was work out how to use it.

"Um… Roxas?" He asked his nobody, who had used a mobile phone when he was in the organization.

I'm trying to sleep here.

"Whatever. The green button turns it on, right?"

No.

"Huh?"

The red button turns it on.

"… Doesn't red mean stop?"

No, it turns it on. The green button is for making calls.

"Oh, right. Thanks." Sora paused as he heard the slight snoring as Roxas fell asleep. "'Kay…red button." Sora pressed it. Nothing happened.

"ROXAS!!"

Whaaaaaaat?!

"It won't turn on."

Hold it down.

"What?"

HOLD. THE. RED. BUTTON. DOWN.

"Oh, thanks." Sora did as his nobody said, and 'Motorola' appeared on his screen. "YAY! IT WORKED!"

Keep the bloody noise down.

"Bloody?"

Damm… I knew I shouldn't have hung out with Luxord that long…

"…Okay then." Sora turned back to the phone. "Right… make a call. How do I do that? Maybe if I press a button." Sora paused, before pressing one of the several buttons.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"Huh?!"

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sora's phone cheerfully vibrated in his hand, moving around a little, leaving a confused Sora.

"Tickles." He noted after a moment. "Is it supposed to do that?"

No.

"How do I fix it."

Read the manual.

"What? No!"

Why?

"Because we are men!"

We make fire! Cook meat!

"That's the spirit!"

Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!

"Shut up." Sora rolled his eyes. "Look, I saved the worlds from the heartless, I don't need to use a manual to work a piece of metal."

Sora, you once managed to get yourself arrested by a computer. Please do not make out you can handle technology, because you can't.

"One, that was Donald and Stitch's fault. And two, I don't want Kairi to know I can't use this."

Because then you might not be a macho macho man!

"Seriously, SHUT UP!!" Sora cursed his nobody, and stared at the still vibrating phone.

"Hey Sora." Riku called, walking into the mess that was Ansem's study. "What's up?"

"My phone won't stop vibrating."

"Oh!" Riku nodded. "You mean you have an erotic phone?"

Utter silence followed that phrase.

"… I have a what?"

"An erotic phone." Riku said as if he was speaking to an idiot.

"… You have a filthy mind." Sora concluded.

"Hanging around with you made it filthy." Riku grinned.

"Hey!" Sora summoned Ultima weapon, as Riku's eyes widened.

"And, here I am again, running for my life!"

Hey Naminé…

What is it Roxas?

That phone Kairi got for Sora… It's an erotic phone.

The whole 'erotic phone' part was an actual conversation with a friend and I had.

I was Riku, he was Sora.

Another note, 'We make fire! Cook meat! Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!' thing was from an episode of Friends, 'The one where Rachel finds out'. Roxas seems like someone who would watch Friends.

Review and peace out, me hearties!