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I don't know what inspired this, apart from memories of school lessons where the teacher just goes on and on. And you don't listen...

Axel was damn near suicidal.

Punishments in the Organization came in all varieties. However, the punishment Axel had got was considered by everyone to be worse one.

Helping Vexen in the lab.

He hadn't done anything that wrong. Morally anyway. All he had done was start a Mexican wave during the meeting. And set Larxenes' hair on fire. And steal Xigbar's guns. And shove Marluxia into the pool.

Okay, so he hadn't been nobody of the week.

But nothing that existed deserved to be punished by this. Roxas had gotten off easily by being on a mission with Xaldin.

"Are you paying attention Eight?" Axel snapped his head up and meet Vexen's icy gaze.

"Uh…"

"I shall take that as a no. So I shall explain again."

"Oh Christ." Muttered Axel under his breath, as Vexen went onto a long description of the experiment that he would be conducting with Axel's help. Axel slipped out his mobile phone, black with the Organization's symbol on the back, and texted Roxas.

How u doin?

There was a pause, before Axel received a text back.

R u hitting on me?

U have filthy mind. Seriously, how u doin'?

Xaldin has fallen asleep.

Lucky, Vexen is still going.

Poor U.

"… Do you understand Number Eight?" Vexen asked. Axel bit his lip as he shoved his mobile into his pocket.

Axel's first law of Punishments: Always pretend you know what you're doing.

"Oh yep. Totally understanding!" Axel nodded. "110!"

"There is no such thing as 110" Vexen said, deadly serious.

Shesh… How do Zexion and Lexaeus put up with him?

"I'm aware of that… So… Are we set?" Vexen gave Axel a long look.

"Please prepare the aforementioned chemicals, along with a suitable acid for the experiment." And with that, Vexen left.

… Does he come with a translator machine?

Axel pulled out his phone, and dialled a number.

Bring! Bring! Bring!

"This is Zexion." Zexion muttered, as he answered the phone.

"Zexy! You have to help me!"

"Don't call me Zexy. Are you having fun down there?"

"No!"

"Well, glad it's you not having fun."

"Are you going to help me or what?"

"What do you need help with?"

"Where is Vexen's translator machine?"

"… … Are you drunk again?"

"He said all this crap!"

"What crap?"

"Um… 'Prepare the aforementioned chemicals, along with a suitable acid for the experiment'"

"Your memory skills never fail to amaze me."

"Well?" Axel was getting annoyed, as he hissed down the phone. "What do I do?"

"Okay, what are the chemicals?"

"…"

"Axel?"

"Uh…"

"You weren't paying attention, were you?"

"Not as such." Axel admitted. There was an exasperated sigh, and Axel got the impression that Zexion was plunging his head into his free hand. "Well? Help me out here!"

"Axel you idiot! I can't help you unless I know the chemicals!" Zexion yelled.

"Well, he must have it written down somewhere!" Axel yelled, and started a mad scramble around the lab.

"He never writes stuff down, he memorizes it all."

"HE MEMORIZED ALL THAT!?" Axel bellowed. "It went on for over an hour!"

"Listen to you, Mr 'Got it Memorized?'" Zexion muttered sarcastically.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Possibly."

"Listen, you have to help me!"

"Look, Axel, I'm not physic!"

"Really?" Axel paused in his frantic search. "That's what we thought your element was!"

"Whose we?"

"Roxas and me."

"You watch too much Pokémon. Look, when Vexen comes back, tell him you weren't listening, and listen when he explains it!"

"I can't do that!" Axel yelled indignantly into the phone. Zexion gave another sharp sigh.

"Why not?"

"Because! Because we are men! We are proud! We take no help from anyone! At all!"

"You were just asking me for help-"

"SILENCE!! We are proud! Do we look at the instruction manuals? When did you last stop for directions?"

"I don't drive-"

"For we are men! We make fire! We stand proud, and we shall never give in! EVER!!"

Silence.

"Get mental help."

Click.

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

"Thank for that!" Axel decided to get help from a different person- er, nobody.

"It's Roxas!"

"Hey Roxas!"

"Hi Axel! What's up?"

"Listen, I didn't listen to Vexen's boring instructions so now I don't know what to do!"

"Um, uh, use your intuitive!"

"Got it!" Axel paused. "What do I do if I don't have any?"

"Um… Make it up!"

"Gotcha!" Axel grabbed a bottle of acid from the cupboard. "Right… It says 'Sulphuric acid'."

"Right! Use that! And then… Improvise!"

"What?"

"Make it up!"

"Awesome!" Axel grabbed a few more random bottles out of the cupboards. "Thanks Roxas! You're way more helpful than Zexy."

"You called Zexy for help before me?" Roxas asked in that slightly hurt voice he has.

"Um… I didn't want you to get in troble with Xaldin."

"Oh! Nah, that's okay. He's still aslee- Holy crap, he's waking up!"

Click!

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

So Axel grabbed all of the random chemicals, and threw them into a beaker, because he is awesome like that.

You can guess what happens next, can't you?

Vexen walked into the room, and stared as Axel added the final chemical.

"NO AXEL-!!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

The following scene has been decided to graphic for this audience. So, we'll have a hyper Sora talking about random stuff instead.

"I went to the store with Riku and we brought chocolate, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of chocolate, and I brought Kairi an apple 'cause she's watching her weight, and I ate all the chocolate so now I'm hyper and Riku's angry at me eating the chocolate and Kairi for letting me eat the chocolate-"

Scene's over!

Vexen and Axel ran from the fireball that was coming from the lab, screaming curses in every language known to man, as the fireball made of chemicals caught up with them. Xemnas appeared, and prepared his aeroblades to cut off Axel's head and then beat him senseless-

Oh, sorry, not over quite yet!

"- So Kairi says that she won't share a papou fruit with me because there are too many calories in it, and Riku said that she was becoming looks obsessed, then Kairi slapped him, and Riku says she must be very very very stressed, and the he yelled at her, and they had an argument all because I ate too much chocolate!"

Nice story Sora.

"Thank you."

We may now return to the main story:

Axel looked at the floor of Xemnas's office, and wondered how many more times he would be yelled at by him and Vexen.

"-And because of this incident, "Vexen droned. "And your constant lack of respect, you are banned from helping me in the lab, for the rest of your existence, or forever. Whichever comes sooner."

"Oh, okay." Axel nodded, putting on what he hoped was a sorry expression.

He slipped out of the door, and made sure he was well out of hearing range.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!"