A/N: First of all I want to clarify that Emma is in fact on birth control and I will address this issue in an upcoming chapter, big shout out to all of you who took notice and interest in the matter!

Second, don't be mistaken by the title of this chapter, it holds many good moments despite its title, so read away, there's no reason to fear, plus it's smut free ;)

That's it, done rambling.

Chapter 16 – Everything has to come to an end

They arrived to Boston on a Saturday night. They just entered the city when her mind ran wild with thoughts, thoughts about what will happen next, thoughts about what she wanted and what she was going to do.

It had been five intense days since she got out of prison and as much as she enjoyed Killian's company she needed time to figure things out on her own.

Where was she going to live? Did she even intended to settle in one place or was she going to go back to roaming the roads like she used to do with Neal prior her arrest? How was she going to support herself? How was she going to get money for food and other stuff? Not to mention rent. She obviously couldn't go back to stealing, wouldn't put her freedom at such a risk, never ever again.

She felt like she didn't have to deal with those questions for the past five days because she was too focused on paying her debt to Killian, too focused on bringing him home.

Home. A four letter word that held the world. She never dreamt of a big house with a white picket fence, to her it was almost the same as dreaming of touching the stars. She only wished for something small and simple, a one bedroom or even a studio apartment that she could call her own, that she could call a home.

"What are you thinking there love?" His soft voice interrupted her thoughts as he glanced at her, averting his gaze from the road for a brief moment.

"Nothing really" She looked at him, her lips lifting slowly with a small sad smile "Why?"

"I don't know, you seem preoccupied" He glanced at her again, noticing her sad expression "Is everything okay?" He asked calmly, his voice tinged with a hint of concern.

"Yeah" She sighed "Everything is fine"

"Are you sure?" He squinted his eyes, studying her for a brief moment.

"I'm sure" She blinked heavily and gave him a reassuring smile, trying her best to sound believable, to sound peaceful and his face softened in reply.

"We never talked about..." His voice trailed off as he couldn't find the right words.

"What?" She asked, raising her brow in wonder "Talked about what?"

"When does Mary Margaret expecting you?" He suddenly changed the subject.

"I told her I'd arrive tonight" She replied simply.

"Tonight?" His eyes widened as his brow shot up to his hairline.

He wasn't expecting this. He wasn't expecting her to leave him so soon. He hoped that they would have at least one more day together, heck! He would have settled for only one more night. He just needed a chance to say all the right words, a chance to whisper in her ear what he hadn't dared vocalize these past few days, these past few months.

"Tonight" She repeated when they stopped at a traffic light.

"You can't go there tonight" He exclaimed, his hands leaving the wheel as he turned to look at her.

"Why not?" She asked, looking at him in wonder.

"Because there's something that – " He started saying but was cut off by a loud sound when the driver behind them honked his horn, both of them glancing at the traffic light, noticing it turned green.

...

"Emma" He said softly when he parked the car outside the apartment building he was living at "Why don't you go tomorrow love?" He asked as he turned to look at her.

She knew exactly what he was offering her. She knew he wanted her to spend the night in his apartment and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She wasn't sure if she was ready entering his life in that way. Sharing a bed in a hotel room was one thing, but sharing his bed, the one he goes to sleep in every night, that was a complete different story, that would be breaking the distance between them, the distance that existed despite the physical intimacy, the distance between two hearts, each wrapped in an armor, keeping it safe and guarded.

"I promised Mary Margaret – "

"I'm sure she'll understand" He cut her off, working on his persuasive tone of voice "Besides, it's a four hour drive, so you won't make it there before midnight and Mary Margaret would probably want to go to sleep by then"

"She said it would be fine" She replied in a quiet, self-reassuring voice.

"Didn't you say that you hate driving at night?"

"I did, but – "

"No buts" He cut her off decisively "Come on, stay the night and tomorrow morning you'll be out on your way again"

"I don't think that it's such a good idea" She replied, a hint of guilt distinct in her eyes.

"How come?" He asked as he looked at her and she could feel his gaze piercing into her soul, making her shift nervously in her seat.

Why was he looking at her like that? Why was he looking at her with those hopeful eyes of his? Why was a soft anticipating smile pulling at the corner of his mouth?

She found it so hard to say no to him, to let him down, but she had no choice, going up to his apartment was not an option, well, it was an option, but it was a bad one.

"Killian" She said hesitantly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture "I can't stay"

"Why not?" He asked with a firm voice and a pointed stare as his lips formed a tight line.

"I just can't"

"Well that's no excuse, at least not a reasonable one" He slightly shook his head "So what is it?" He asked when he locked eyes with her, his gaze so intense that she feared he might drill a hole in her head "Why are you so scared of staying?" He asked, his voice may be soft, but his eyes digging deep into her soul, searching for answers.

"I'm not scared" She forced a chuckle as she averted her gaze, couldn't possibly bring herself to look him in the eyes, feeling her heart racing, her hands sweating and her skin getting flushed from anxiety.

Why was she nervous? Why was she feeling as if she was sitting in the defendant's chair? Leaving him shouldn't have been so damn hard.

"Then stay" He said softly when he reached his hand to anchor at the back of her neck, encouraging her to avert her gaze back to him "Please stay" He pleaded when they locked eyes, his eyes studying her, pleading her "Is this going to be a regular thing now?" He asked, a small smile just at the corner of his mouth, his eyes still fixed on hers.

"What is?" She asked quietly, her eyelids fluttering nervously, her eyes revealing vulnerability as they flickered everywhere and she found it hard to breathe every single time they met his.

"You making me beg" He leaned in, his hand at her neck pulling her closer so there was just a breath between their faces "Just so I know" He whispered as his lips grazed hers, his voice changing its tone to something velvety yet challenging, something seductive that sounded like an invitation to a world full of pleasure.

Ugh! He was not making it easy for her, those lips, oh God those lips. The slightest touch and she was already waving the white flag, feeling herself melting into his arms, her lips surrendering, her body caving, feeling it powerless to resist, her mind clearing completely from all reasonable thoughts, instead filling with thoughts of him, with thoughts of his touch and the sheer impact it had on her body.

She gently pressed her lips to his, tilting her head as she murmured 'okay' against his lips before they deepened the kiss, a soft desperate moan leaving her lips when tongue met tongue, lips parting and closing in unison as they relished each other's taste.

"Okay?" He asked as he broke away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against hers, wanting to make sure he heard correctly.

"Okay" She nodded as she stared at his lips, feeling her body craving his, her mouth hungry for more, the voice of reason was long gone. She buried her hand in his hair at the back of his head, pulling his lips back to hers, her tongue flicks out to lick his bottom lip, seeking an opening before their mouths joined once more in a happy reunion as a joyful smile lifted both of their lips.

...

She handed him back his phone once she finished filling Mary Margaret in with the change of plans. They entered his one bedroom apartment and she was not surprised to learn that it was as clean and organized as his office used to be. Aside from three brown carton boxes, that were set one on top of the other, next to the wall by the door, everything else seemed to be neatly in its place. He guided her to take a seat on the sofa as he turned to the kitchen to fetch them something to drink. She looked around, her eyes landing on the TV cabinet, recognizing the books that used to occupy the two shelves in his office, triggering a wave of memories that washed her body and mind.

How weird was it? Suddenly sitting on her officer's sofa?

She fingered the bracelet on her wrist, twirling two fingers between her skin and the bracelet as she immersed in deep thoughts.

She liked him. A lot. Probably more than liked, if she was being honest. How could she not? He was thoughtful and caring, smart, funny and sexy as hell. He was able to light up her day with nothing but a smile, could fill her stomach with millions of fluttering butterflies with nothing but a stare. But who was she kidding? They were not in a relationship of any kind, they were two people that crossed paths, and it was time for them to continue on their separate ways, cause like the quote says, everything has to come to an end.

"Emma" His firm voice woke her from her daze as her head shot up to meet his gaze, her eyes wide in surprise and bewilderment "Is everything okay?" He asked in concern when he handed her the mug of hot cocoa.

"Yes why?" She asked, her head shaking slightly for a brief moment, as if she was trying to shake the thoughts off of her mind.

"Cause I called you a few times and you didn't answer" He said when he sat beside her with his cup of coffee, a soft smile pulling at his lips, his eyes caressing her face with tender and loving movements.

"Sorry" She smiled awkwardly "I guess – "

"You're probably tired" He cut her off as he reached his hand to push her hair back over her shoulder, his fingers lingering to toy with a strand of her hair.

"Yeah" She smiled in slight embarrassment "I guess I am"

"You want to shower first or straight to bed?" He asked casually.

Both options felt weird. It was too much being in his apartment, now she had to choose between his bedroom and his bathroom? She wasn't feeling comfortable with either one of the two choices.

"Why don't I just sleep here?" She suggested in a quiet voice as her hand gestured to the sofa they were sitting on.

"Is that a joke?" He asked honestly with a big smile that was wiping away slowly as his eyes met hers, noticing the hint of insecurity in them.

Why was she pulling away from him? What had happened that caused her to close up this way? Perhaps it had something to do with his ex-wife? Maybe she didn't believe him after all? He needed to come clean, to tell her everything, he couldn't possibly let her pull away from him this way, and for what? A misunderstanding?

"I want to tell you about Tink and about my friend Elsa – " He said when she took a sip from her cocoa, raising her brow as she looked at him over the rim of her mug.

"No need" She shook her head, cutting him off as she swallowed.

Who was this Elsa? He was probably referring to the woman his wife accused him of fooling around with. She didn't need to hear that, cause what was the point?

"I want you to know – " He tried to explain.

"Killian" She cut him off again, placing a hand on his forearm, drawing his attention "Really, there's no need"

How come she didn't want to hear what he had to say? Has she already made up her mind about him? Or maybe she just didn't care?

"Your looks gets you in trouble, I get that" She said on a smile and he gave her a sheepish grin in return as he exhaled in relief.

"Wait here" He said as he placed his cup on the coffee table and walked over to the bathroom.

"What are you up to?" She cried towards the hall in amusement, but he didn't answer. She could hear him bustling around the apartment, as he went in and out of the bathroom a few times before he got back to her.

"Come" He extended his hand, waiting for her to take it.

"You are up to something" She studied him on a small smile, narrowing her eyes at him in suspicion when she took his hand and got up. He smiled back as he guided her towards the bathroom, stopping at the hall when they reached the bathroom as he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, positioning her in front of the closed door as he stood behind her, covering her eyes with one hand, opening the door with the other.

A sensual citrus scent of soap tickled at her nose before he uncovered her eyes "So what do you think?" He asked when her eyes met the look of the room. The room was steamy as a hot bubble bath awaited her, and it had a warm glow of flickering lights as burning candles were scattered all around, giving a calm and romantic feel to it.

"What's this?" She asked in wonder as her eyes scanned the room and his hands found their way back to her shoulders, giving them a light rub.

"You're tense" He said softly as he continued to rub her shoulders gently, his head leaning in and pushing her hair back over her shoulder "You need to unwind" He whispered as he nuzzled her neck before he gave her a soft kiss on the skin below the ear "Do you prefer with music or without?"

"With" She said as she tilted her head back so she could look up at him, her eyes studying him.

Why was he doing this? How come he was being so nice? What did he want with her?

"Always a preference of mine too" He said as his hands stilled on her waist, guiding her into the bathroom as he took out his phone from his back pocket and fiddled with it before he set it down on top of the vanity unit, soft soothing music starting to play in the background "Take your time" He gave her a soft quick kiss on the cheek before he turned to leave.

"Thanks" She said quietly as her hand reached for his arm, stopping him at the door when she looked at him, opening her mouth to speak only to close it a moment later in wordless silence.

"Sure" He leaned in to give her another soft quick kiss, on the lips this time.

...

"Killian?" She asked hesitantly as she got out of the bathroom and stepped into the hall.

"In here love" He called from the bedroom and she paced slowly, even hesitantly, towards the room, hearing him turning off the TV, the flashing lights from the TV no longer illuminating the hall. She stood at the doorway with nothing but a long simple T and panties, crossing her arms across her chest as she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe. Her eyes skimmed the semi-dark room before they landed on him as he was lying in the queen sized bed, the city lights shining through the large window and illuminating his features "Are you just going to stand there?" He teased as he patted on the bed, beckoning her to join him. She smiled coyly, lingering for a moment longer before she crawled onto the bed and slipped under the covers beside him. He scooted to the middle of the bed as he pulled her to him, pressing her back against his chest, wrapping one arm around her and nuzzling her neck as he inhaled her intoxicating scent "You smell like heaven" He whispered when he kissed her neck, then her cheek and temple "Emma love?"

"Yes?" She raised her brow in wonder as she turned slightly, just enough so she could meet his eyes.

"I'm glad I got your attention" He propped himself on one elbow as he looked deep into her eyes, his hand reaching to caress her hair at the top of her head. She moved her head to one side, avoiding his gaze as a shy smile took over her lips, feeling his eyes still on her, feeling the heat of his stare burning her skin.

Why was he staring at her? Why was he looking at her like that? He had to stop. It was too much, just too much.

"Emma?" He whispered and she reluctantly averted her gaze back to him as he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand "I love you" He said in a tender voice when their eyes met again, a soft smile pulling at his lips.

It was definitely way too much.

She felt her body threatening to shudder and she pulled him in for a kiss, anything to break away from his gaze, to break away from the intensity of his words, unable to say the words back, unable to look him in the eyes, worried he might see right through her, read her like an open book, something he was very good at doing and she couldn't risk it, she couldn't risk him knowing that she felt the same, especially since she didn't know if he really meant what he had just said. She leaned her body towards his, her hand reaching to the hem of his shorts, tugging on it, trying to push the material down when she felt his hand reaching for hers.

"It's not why I said it" He whispered against her lips, slowly lacing his fingers in hers as he pulled back just a little so their eyes could meet again "I love you Emma" He said softly, his eyes caressing her face "Not just your body, all of you" He leaned to nuzzle her neck as he pulled her once again into his arms, pressing her back to his chest as their laced-fingers arms wrapped her body and she could feel his soft smile against her neck.

Of course he was smiling. He was delighted that he finally managed to get the words out like he wanted. He didn't care that she hadn't said them back. He was more than happy just to be able to love her, to be able to hold her and breathe her. He didn't care if at that moment she didn't love him back, eventually he will win her heart.

Her breath hitched in her throat, and she felt as if there was a knife in her windpipe, finding herself unable to breathe, unable to move in his arms, his words still hanging in the air, still echoing in her head as she felt the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

She didn't want this. She didn't want him to love her. It was too complicated, too overwhelming. He probably didn't really love her anyway, why would he? He just thought that he did, obviously it was an infatuation, nothing more, he just didn't know it yet.

She felt his warm breath on her neck and she listened as it evened out, letting her know that he was sound asleep. She finally dared to let out a heavy breath as she exhaled, followed by a few deep breaths that she took straight into her lungs, as if she was being pulled out of the sea after almost drowning.

She carefully wrenched her hand from his, unlacing their fingers before she slowly turned around in his arms, turned around to face him. She looked at him, looked at his face, his blue eyes now closed and his expression was so peaceful, it seemed as if the smile he fell asleep with still lingered on his lips. Her moist eyes studied his face, memorizing his features, reaching a hesitating hand, not touching, only hovering. She drew her hand back when his lips suddenly parted, the peaceful expression not leaving his face, letting her know that he was still in deep sleep so she reached her hand again, finally daring to push back the lock of hair that fell over his forehead, her hand moving to caress his cheek so lightly, barely touching, her thumb trailing his stubble as she felt unable to hold back the tears anymore and they began to stream silently down her cheeks "I love you too" She whispered, her mouth trembling as her hand stilled on his cheek, gently pressing her lips to his, tasting her salty tears against his lips, not moving, wanting to freeze the moment, to freeze their joined lips together forever, reluctantly pulling away from his lips and arms as she feared to wake him up when her silent tears turned into uncontrolled sobs.

...

She eventually fell asleep and when she woke up she could have swore that she felt him pulling her back to his embrace in the middle of the night, but she had no evidence to prove her right since he was already gone from the room as she looked around the big bed.

"Morning beautiful" He said when she stepped into the kitchen "How do you like your eggs?"

"How did you know I'm here?" She asked in wonder as he was still standing over the sink with his back to her.

He was such a morning person, already dressed and combed, and probably already been to the store for groceries.

"I can smell your scent" He glanced at her over his shoulder, shooting a devilish smile her way "So how do you want your eggs?" He asked when he slid a mug of hot cocoa across the counter.

"Like my life" She replied as she took a seat on the bar stool, reaching for the mug and blowing on the hot drink.

"Sunny side up?" He asked as he turned around, pan in hand.

"Scrambled" She groaned as a frown creased her face "I don't know what the hell I'm doing" She sighed as he set down the pan.

"Don't worry" He walked around the counter "You'll figure it out" He said as he caressed the back of her neck.

"You think so?" She looked up at him from the corner of her eye, a flirtatious smile lifting her lips as her hand held the edge of the counter and she twirled back and forth on the stool.

"I know so" He moved closer, reaching his hand to her seat, stopping it from spinning as he settled himself between her legs when he leaned to kiss her softly on the lips "Morning" He whispered and smiled against her lips.

"Morning" She said as she tilted her head back and a smile spread across her face.

Good thing she was already sitting as she felt her knees getting weak and her head began spinning even though she already stopped twirling on the stool.

"Scrambled it is" He said before he tried to pull away, her hand closing on his wrist, pulling him back to her lips as her other hand anchored at his waist, tugging on his belt, hauling his body to hers.

"I have another breakfast in mind" She said in mischief.

"Did you now?" He asked in a seductive tone of voice when his hands found their way to the bare skin of her thighs.

"Uh-hum" She moaned softly as her head flew back and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

"And where do we get to eat this kind of breakfast?" He asked before he leaned in, burying his hand in her hair and pulling her into a searing kiss.

"Wherever you want" She looked at him breathless when they pulled for air, her eyes beaming with intent.

"I like the sound of that" He raised one brow suggestively before he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder, making her giggle in excitement when he carried her to the bedroom.

...

After they finished with the actual breakfast he walked her over to her car. Not ready to say goodbye just yet, but he knew better than to pressure her to something more than he already did.

"Send my regards to Mary Margaret and her David" He said when he placed her bags in the car.

"I will" She nodded.

"And don't forget to call me once you get there"

"I will" She reassured.

"And reactivate your phone already, so I can call you" He put his hands on her shoulders as he looked into her eyes, making sure she was listening.

"Yes daddy" She mocked as she rolled her eyes.

"Ewww" He immediately pulled his hands from her as his face grimaced in disgust.

"Do you prefer officer?" She teased with a hand on her waist as she arched one brow at him.

"Killian will do" He said on a smile as he huffed a breath through his nose, his eyes rolling slightly "Just don't say things like that again" He added as he gestured with his hand for her to stop as if he was trying to block the image that she so successfully managed to imprint in his mind.

"Then stop talking to me like I'm a child" She scolded as she tilted her head to one side and glared up at him.

"Fine" He replied and she smiled in triumph as she turned and reached for the car door "Wait" He called after her.

"What?" She asked as she turned to face him once more and he took a step in her direction, closing the distance between them.

"Just two more things" He said and gestured two fingers for a brief moment before he continued "First, how are you going to call me if I haven't given you my number?"

"I have your number" She said as she reached for her bag, taking out a small note with some numbers on it "See?" She held the piece of paper in front of his face.

"Who gave you that?" He asked in wonder.

"Whale, why?" She asked when she noticed he was still looking at the piece of paper, his face creasing with something that looked like a frown.

"Cause that's not my number" He said as he slightly shook his head, his eyes flickering back and forth from her eyes to the note.

"Really?" She asked in disappointment when her brow shot up to her hairline "Then whose number did he give me?"

"Let me see" He took the note in his hand and yanked his phone from his back pocket, going through his contact list "Well it's his"

"What?" She exclaimed in shock.

"It's Whale's" He repeated.

"Son of a bitch!" She shouted as her face reddened with anger "I cannot believe him. That jerk! He is one sorry excuse of a – "

"He is an ass, no doubt about that" He cut her off "But don't let him get you down, love" He said softly as his hands ran up and down her upper arms, soothing her with slow movements "Now give me a pen" He said and she obeyed, taking a pen out of her bag and handing it to him. He crossed Whale's number and scribbled down his own "Here you go"

"Thanks" She said as she put the pen and note back in her bag "I still can't believe he tricked me into think that he gave me your number"

"I know" He said softly as he nodded in understanding.

"So what's number two?" She suddenly changed the subject as she remembered there were two things he wanted to tell her.

"Goodbye kiss" He said as his face lit up and a big toothy smile spread across his face "I can't let you go without one"

"Is that so?" She asked on a smile in a seductive tone of voice.

"Uh-ha" He murmured and nodded as he stared at her lips, his hands reaching to cradle her face "Are you going to miss me?" He asked rhetorically, more joking than looking for an answer before he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

"I'll call you" She reassured with a smile against his lips.

"Then I'll be waiting" He replied as he pulled away and they locked eyes.

"Good" She said as she got in the car and they exchanged one last lingering look before she drove away. His eyes following the yellow bug until it disappeared from his sight.

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It turned out a bit fluffier and longer than intended...

Just wanted to say thanks again for all your support, you guys are awesome!

Reviews?