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Esme and Carlisle: How the Love Story Began…

Secrets

At first I let out a laugh. It sounded more like a bark, actually. It was one of those bursts of laughter that springs out of your mouth when you know it's the last thing you should do. A stress response. Two sets of eyes just observed me, seemingly waiting for more...

"A vampire?" I didn't try to conceal the sarcasm in my voice. I was starting to believe I was part of some sick rouse. "Those hideous creatures that have pointy fangs, sleep in coffins, and drink blood?"

"Well, you got one of those right," Edward smirked as he leaned casually against the doorway.

Stop it, Edward! Try to remember how you felt when I gave you this news! Please let me handle this.

Edward suddenly left the room as if he was just dismissed. I looked back at Carlisle, who was now rubbing his forehead like he had a really bad headache. I knew he was trying to choose his next words carefully...

"Esme, what does your body crave right now?"

"I need to stop this insane burning in my throat! I need something to drink!" Frustration filled my voice.

"Edward is right. You need to hunt. It's the only thing that will satisfy the burning and craving."

"I'm sorry Carlisle, but I was open -minded to all that you have told and shown me so far. But vampire? Hunt? Hunt what? You want me to kill something… or someone?" My voice was incredulous.

"I will help you with this transition, I promise. Just like I helped Edward. I won't let you hurt anyone. Come with me out to woods. Your instincts will take over and it will be clearer to you then. Once you have hunted, we can talk more."

CPOV

It shouldn't have surprised me, but Esme made her first kill shortly after she caught the scent of blood. There is no denying the true nature of a vampire while in the newborn stage. I would know. Although stunned by her behavior, her thirst was quenched, and I could reason with her a little better.

We lingered in the woods while I told Esme my transition story. Her eyes filled with sympathy when she learned that I had struggled through it alone. I also shared the truth about my attempts at suicide. But I didn't push her in regards to her history. I would let her keep her secrets. Some trauma was hidden there and her mind was protecting her from those memories. At least for now.

So we discussed my past. She was fascinated with the history I have witnessed. We walked and talked for hours, hunting when a scent caught her attention.

It was flattering to have someone so interested in what I had seen and done. I did enjoy it very much. Just being me.

"When will I get tired?" she finally asked innocently.

"Oh, that's another perk—or curse—not sure on that one," I smiled at her. It seemed to help her relax when I did that. "We don't need to sleep. Think of all the time you will have to develop new hobbies!" It was my lame attempt at making light of the extremely strange situation she had been thrust into.

"Yes, it seems there is much to learn. But as you said, I have an eternity, right?" Her voice was shaky and I could tell the smile she wore was tenuous. She did it for my benefit. I wondered what I had done to win her trust so quickly.

The next day I began to map out for her how she would mature from a newborn. I thought if she had an understanding of the process, she could set realistic expectations of her behavior. I was thankful our home was secluded since the plan included keeping Esme away from humans for as long as possible. I just worried she would feel like a prisoner. We would hunt as often as we could in hopes of hastening her maturity.

Esme shared that she feared her newborn instincts and the powers she possessed that would enable her to act on them. This fear kept her close to Edward and me, trusting that I would never let her hurt anyone. After several days, I was confident enough in Esme's attachment to us to return to my job at the hospital.

Edward was more than happy to take it upon himself to "train" Esme in the proper use of her skills. He outlined to me the activities he had planned once I returned to work: tracking, running, climbing, hunting big game, and various other tasks that included utter destruction. It was like I had found him a playmate! At least he was engaged in something now that school was out for the summer…

For the time being, I kept Edward's gift a secret from Esme. While I did not like keeping secrets, I knew Edward's access to her thoughts provided another layer of protection to those mortals around us. Since turnabout is fair play, I asked Edward not to share with me any of Esme's thoughts unless they posed a danger to someone.

Yet, I had one more secret. I was determined to secure Esme's medical record as soon as I returned to the hospital. Not only did I wish to learn what I could of her past, but I also needed to erase any evidence of her whereabouts. It was only a matter of time before someone came looking for her.

I had remained with her every moment for the last two weeks. Now it was time I got back to work. But I found I was not looking forward to returning as much as I thought I would. I was jealous of the time Edward would be able to spend with Esme….

Once I returned to the hospital, I made a cursory stop at my supervisor's office. I made vague reference to an acute illness that had kept me away from work. After that I stole down to the medical records room. Remembering the last name on her medical band from the night I found her, I made quick work of locating her record. Without leaving documentation of its retrieval, I headed back to my office.

I read her chart like an avid fan of a favorite novel. Much of the information was of minor detail – war widow, only one emergency contact in Milwaukee, and an address that indicated she was living in a cabin not far from the hospital. I knew the area well. The cabins there were usually only occupied by sportsmen. It didn't add up. What brought her here from her family home in Columbus, pregnant no less, to live in a cabin in the middle of the woods?

I finally moved from her intake notes to the medical notes. One part of Esme's story became clear. The source of her overwhelming grief – she had lost her son shortly after birth. I paused in my reading and bowed my head to grieve for her and her child.

A copy of the baby's death certificate was in the record, but not the release for the baby's body. Realization dawned on me: the child was still here at the hospital. Another clue of Esme's trail that I would need to erase. I contacted the morgue regarding release of the child. I would end my shift early today.

Most of my day was spent methodically obliterating Esme's human traces in Ashland. But in another part of my mind I knew what I eventually would have to deal with. While Esme's broken body proved easy to fix, I knew her mental health would not be so simple to repair. She was still suffering from emotional shock. She had, for the moment, blocked her human memories. I was familiar with this phenomenon of the mind as I had treated numerous soldiers returning from various wars. They would shove the horrifying memories away, but once something triggered them, it was like the person experienced them all over again. An emotional tailspin would follow. I wondered what would be Esme's trigger. When might it happen? How could I prepare for this? I wanted to protect her from any more pain. Even as a newborn she seemed so fragile and vulnerable. So sweet and soft like a rose – the scent that surrounded her.

Once I returned home, I packed her medical record along with all her belongings from the cabin, in a sturdy trunk in my bedroom closet. Which of her personal belonging would she cling to with pleasant memories and which would bring her pain? I didn't know, so I kept them all.

The weeks went by quickly. At first I was surprised by Esme's acceptance of her new life. She seemed almost grateful to be with Edward and me. She appeared content. But when I allowed myself to think of her past, it actually made sense: She had already said goodbye to her human world the night she stepped off that cliff.

Slowly our home began to reflect Esme's affection. Wildflower arrangements adorned the tables. Other items made from materials from the forest decorated the walls. I even noticed a shift in the relationship between her and Edward. It was subtle, a slow, easy change in roles. While Edward had once taken the lead in Esme's day to day activities, he now often asked her advice and sought her guidance. One night while I read in my study, I eavesdropped on their conversation. The honesty with which Edward spoke surprised me. I guess he had secrets too.

"Esme, do you ever question this 'vegetarian' life?" Edward asked.

"What do you mean? Question whether we should hunt human prey instead?"

"Yes, I think there is a way to not deny our true nature and provide a service to this world."

"Edward, I do not understand. How could killing provide a service? Whose life is expendable?"

"Those who do not value life. Those who prey on children and women. Cowards and perverts who calculate their crimes and feel no remorse. They forfeit their rights, do they not?" Edward said confidently.

"You're thinking of becoming a vigilante?" Esme questioned.

"A protector of the innocent," was Edward's quick response.

"So, at the young age of 17, you are prepared with the wisdom to be prosecutor, judge and jury? Do you think things are so black and white?"

"A crime is a crime. It should be punished…an eye for an eye," came Edward's response.

"What if the guilty repent? What if the victim is willing to forgive? Is the answer so clear then? I see you are familiar with the Old Testament's view of punishment, but what of the New Testament's words of forgiveness and turn the other cheek? My belief if that we have been put on this Earth to love and care for each other. Our reward on Earth is peace in our hearts and after this life, our reward is heaven," Esme spoke eloquently.

"God, heaven, divine justice. What evidence is there of these? I saw people, good people like my parents, dying. For what reason? Where was God then?" Emotion filled Edward's voice.

"It is hard to believe in something we cannot see. To believe that there is something greater than us. But look at the living things around you. So perfect in design! Can you really believe life is random and chaotic? That we just exist with no greater plan? God does have a plan; we are just unable to comprehend it. It's too vast. But all things happen for a reason, Edward. Are you prepared to play God? Is that the meaning of your life?"

"Okay, Esme," said Edward undeterred, "What is the meaning of life?"

Esme didn't hesitate, "Love."

Edward was not done with his challenge, "And what of anger, hate and jealousy?"

"They are just love that has been disappointed. These emotions exist if not for love. If someone didn't care in the first place."

I smiled to myself. Esme may be as beautiful as a rose, but she could spar quite well with an ambitious teen. She was a good Christian woman. And quite feisty!

"Carlisle is amused," Edward let slip.

"What? Carlisle is in his study. I heard only the rustle of pages in a book. Explain, Edward…"

Cat's out of the bag now, Edward. May as well fess up. Now you will know a woman's wrath…

"Um, Esme," Edward hedged. "Some vampires have extra abilities. We call them 'gifts'. It seems I have a gift, the gift of reading thoughts." He paused to let that sink in and then quickly added, "Hiding that fact from you was Carlisle's idea."

You are an even deader man, Edward!

In a flash I bolted to the living room and tackled Edward where he sat on the couch across the room from Esme. The impact broke the piece of furniture in half with a loud snap of wood and the metallic sound of springs. Edward and I were dumped on the flood and our momentum carried us into the wall. The house shuttered with force of the impact.

"Boys, boys, behave!" Esme hollered over the ruckus, but her face glowed with joy as she laughed.

The moment had an almost a magical feel. And I think every one of us felt it. It seemed…normal. It seemed like family. The way Edward smiled confirmed my thoughts. Silence filled the room for a brief time, and then we all laughed at once.

End Notes: Hope you enjoyed learning a little more about C&E: their beliefs and values and what they may be looking for in their life. Oh, and hints to Edward's later decision to leave the family (which is a whole story in itself!).

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