All the beautiful characters in Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer

Esme and Carlisle: How the Love Story Began…

Homecoming

I stood watching Esme disappear into the darkness.

I would let her go. But I felt like part of me left with her.

Charles was dead. There was nothing any of my skills could do for him now. I would leave him where he lies. The police could draw their own conclusions – probably suicide.

How ironic.

While I blamed him for Esme's pain, I also had to admit that his actions ultimately brought her into my life.

And then out of my life.

Esme was gone only seconds but I already felt her absence. I had become used to her presence and the void her absence left would be most noticeable at home. I didn't want to return home.

But I had to. I knew Edward would be anxiously waiting. He had contacted me at the hospital when he sensed Esme's despair and murderous thoughts. I knew she was shopping in town and it was a simple matter of following her scent. However, I sure didn't anticipate this sequence of events.

Strange how everything can change so quickly.

At least I wouldn't have to explain the details to Edward. He would pick up my thoughts soon enough.

I leapt off the roof and felt a sudden moment of hope. I picked up on Esme's scent – only to realize it was coming from two shopping bags lying on the ground. I picked them up and examined the contents. The music gift she had been planning to give Edward was in one bag. In the other was the dress she had bought for our celebratory night out – an occasion that would never be. I removed the silky rose-colored dress. She was so lovely in shades of pink. I held the fabric to my face and took in her lingering scent. I would truly miss it.

When I arrived home, Edward was pacing in the main room.

"Carlisle?"

I heard the question in his tone. I can't explain it. She's in a lot of pain. I had to let her go.

"I am sorry, Edward. I brought home the gift she bought for you today. She was hoping music would be something that would make you happy from within. I know she would want me to give this to you. She truly cared about you, my son."

I handed him the shopping bag from the music store and headed to my study. But before I left, I paused...

"Edward, if you could, I would really like to be alone with my thoughts tonight. Do you mind?"

Edward nodded. I know this problem was out of his realm of experience and he would probably appreciate being let off the hook. He disappeared out the front door without another word.

I slumped in the chair in my study and mentally reviewed the events of the evening. What could I have done different to change the outcome?

I could only question what I had control of -- my actions.

Should I have disclosed to her what was in her medical record? Would that have somehow prepared her for the sudden appearance of her husband? Shame on me for not investigating her past more thoroughly.

Should I have told her about Benjamin? I hung my head -- I was a coward not for not sharing that with her. I was too afraid of the emotional fallout. Would she forgive me for that?

I should have protected her somehow.

Now where would she go? Who would protect her now?

I lowered my head into my hands and raked my fingers through my hair. Not knowing what would happen to her was making me crazy.

* * * *

For the next several days I tried to fill the void by burying myself in my work. I took on double shifts at the hospital. But I was unable to focus at work and the comforts of home were gone.

Her brief presence had changed us. I could tell Edward was struggling too, but in classic adolescent fashion, he kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. He would disappear for long hours but refused to share with me where he went or what he did. Whatever it was he was doing, it was his way of coping, so I let him be. I certainly understood that much.

One night, two weeks and two days after Esme left, Edward approached me in my study.

"You know, that is very distracting."

"What?" I replied. His mind reading often left me several steps behind.

"Well, when you read your medical journals, I often listen in. Some of that medical stuff is actually interesting. But lately, I've been experiencing mental whiplash – your thoughts bounce too quickly."

"I don't understand, Edward"

"One minute I am seeing the latest treatments on wound care and then, well, I see Esme. It's been like that since she left. And quite frankly, it's giving me a headache."

I sighed. So much for appearances. Edward knew I wasn't handling her loss well. I assumed this was his way of bringing up the subject…

"Carlisle, if I may, I think you still haven't admitted the truth yet."

"What truth is that, Edward?" I tried to control my exasperation. I wasn't in the mood for games at the moment.

"You are in love with her," he said in a matter-of-fact way. As if it was such an easy conclusion.

Love? I knew I was comfortable with her presence, I enjoyed the time I spent with her and I truly longed to see her again. But I would feel this way about Edward too if he left. Right?

Edward let out a laugh, "Trust me Carlisle, your thoughts about me and your thoughts about Esme are very different. When you are thinking about me, the tone of your thought is usually concern." Then he started shifting his weight, not something vampires need to do, so he must have been uncomfortable.

"Yes, this is awkward for me to have to explain your thoughts to you, but here goes… the tone of your thoughts about Esme are more, um, romantic. I find my head filled with visions of Esme's caramel hair, how you feel when she says your name, how you like to watch her walk…"

"O.k.! O.k.! I certainly get your point." I needed to stop his description of my thoughts quickly before I heard something I didn't want to hear out of his teenage mouth.

Then the shock of his words set in. For all my logic and knowledge, I still failed to grasp the obvious sometimes. I was falling in love.

"So," he pressed, "what are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do? I don't know where to find her and I don't want to force her into staying here for me -- despite how I feel."

"But, Carlisle, don't you see, she didn't have all the information she needed to make a decision. Maybe if she knew how you felt, she would have decided to stay. Maybe…maybe she feels the same way you do…"

It took me a moment, but I finally read between the lines. Edward was trying to honor his promise to keep Esme's thoughts private, but at the same time, he was trying to help me.

"Esme was falling in love with me?" I spoke the words out loud to make them real.

I looked at Edward with wide eyes. "You are wise beyond your years. Maybe you should consider a career in matchmaking."

"I don't think so, Carlisle. If love is this difficult, I think I'll stick to the bachelor life." With a satisfied smile, he left my study.

My sudden epiphany had me muttering a quote from of my favorite books of poetry: You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it. At least I had words for what I was now experiencing.

I went to work the next day with conflicted emotions: on one had I was miserable to think I had finally found romantic love and then lost it. On the other hand, I had found love. And there could not be love without hope. Fate had brought us together twice. Could I hope for a third?

I now had the answer to Edward's question: 'What are you going to do about it?' I knew if I ever saw her again, I would tell her how I feel. I would treat her like a queen and dedicate myself to bringing her joy. She deserved that more than anyone else I knew.

I was lost in these thoughts when I entered the medication room on an errand. It was a small, locked room where the hospital kept its most potent medications.

"Oh, hello Dr. Cullen!"

"Good day, Nurse Zeppo."

Bad thing about locked rooms, you never know who you'll stumble upon I thought.

Nurse Zeppo's heart and respiration rates were increasing. She was working herself up for something….

"Dr. Cullen, we've been working together for some time now. And I know men aren't likely to spend much time in the kitchen. I hope you don't think it's too forward of me, but I was wondering if I could bring you a home cooked dinner some time?"

"That's very kind of you, but I just don't think now is a good time…" But that was all I could sputter out before she persisted.

"It would be no trouble, really"

"Thank you, but…"

"Maybe just dessert then?" she quickly countered.

Suddenly there was a loud snap as the locked door of the medication room was pulled clean off its hinges.

"The gentleman is trying to tell you he is not interested!"

Nurse Zeppo gasped and her eyes were wide with shock. She scurried out of the room as fast as her legs would carry her. She never looked back.

"Sorry about the door." Esme smiled sheepishly. "I just thought you needed a speedy rescue. What a pushy woman!" She casually leaned the slightly warped door against the wall.

We looked at each other in silence for a second and then laughed at the absurdity of the moment.

Then Esme's face fell into a frown. When she spoke, her voice was very serious.

"Carlisle, I tried to find where I belonged. But I know now for certain that my place is here with you and Edward. May I come home?"

She sounded so remorseful. But for me, there was no experience in my life that could compare to the rush of joy I felt at hearing those words.

I knew this was the moment. I had told myself I would share my feelings with Esme if I ever got the chance. But now, no words seemed adequate to express all that I felt!

So I acted. I gently took Esme's face in my hands and looked into her hopeful eyes. I willed my eyes to communicate the depth of my emotions.

And then I kissed her.

The combination of her scent and the taste of her lips filled me with passion and completeness. How right this was!

When we parted, I had a sudden twinge of fear. In this moment I would see my future in her eyes. Everything I hoped for was about to be confirmed or denied in her reaction.

Initially, she stepped back. A look of shock on her face. Oh, no…

"Carlisle?" she mused. "Is that a 'yes'?"

Yes? Oh, I had forgotten she was looking for an answer to her question about coming home!

But before I could answer, she threw her arms around me and kissed me with such force that we nearly fell over. Heaven!

When I recovered, I could only think of one thing to say…

"Let's go home."

End notes: No one is happier with this ending than me! Now I can finally stop with the angst and start with the love!! Yippee. This was emotionally tiring, so pump me up with some comments/reviews. I really love the correspondence I have had with some of you. Thank you from my heart.