I heard
them this morning. I didn't expect them to come so early, so my
only option was to run and hide in the nearby ladies room.
Thank God,
neither Kris nor Julie did need using them. Well that'd have at
least settled an uncomfortable situation.
Julie
wondered why I wasn't here, why I didn't come on the first
flight.Well I did, but she doesn't know.
She even
wondered if my husband didn't allow me to come over.
I wanted to get out of my hiding place and scream in her face that I'm a grown up woman, who would never take any shit from any man, husband or other. That I wasn't married, that I've been here for the last three days, 24 hours per day, not like them. That I was avoiding everyone to have all liberty to observe her when they were too busy with their little work to keep vigil by her side.
But I didn't, I remained in the shadows, hiding
and suffering.
I was pleased to see Kris take my defence. I
wouldn't expect less from her; she has always being such a sweet
girl.
At first she was fingering around, not sure of her
place in our team which her sister left so abruptly. But she did fit
perfectly and she saved our ass many times.
I always wondered about how she'd be so
different from her big sister Jill. Not that Jill was uncaring and
unprofessional, but not in the same way as Kris.
In many ways, Kris reminds me of Kelly: as caring,
passionate and tough, but a little more wild.She reminds me of us
when we joined the Agency, so eager to do well, to prove ourselves.
Kris made it clear to Julie that there was surely a good reason for me not being around. That, as her best friend, I wouldn't abandon Kelly. Funny to know that I did, and am doing, just that. I hurt her; I don't support her, just because she's my best friend for whom I care way too much. How can life be so twisted it turns to the opposite of what I'm longing for?
Because, yes you guessed, I'm such a coward.
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