I just realised how short is chapter 2 which I just uploaded, so here number 3.

Reviews very welcomed !

Chapter 3 – The letter

The day I was sure she would recover fully, I did something utterly stupid and so out of line. Before they moved her from ICU to her room, I checked the charts to know which room would be hers. Making sure no one would see me; I left a small note under her pillow. Since she was moved close to dawn, the other members of the Agency were there to carry her stuff. Now that she was safe and sound, I couldn't lurk anymore and risk her, and any of them, seeing me. So I decided to leave, hoping that no other disaster would bring me back.

It didn't take me long to write it down, I've been thinking about it a lot over the past three years but always destroyed it before actually sending it. But this time I couldn't, it was like my hand and body moved on their own, prompted by my heart and not my head. Guess I wanted to make sure she knew I was there the whole time, that I cared, in my very selfish way.

I know it by heart:

Kelly,

I'm so glad you are recovering completely, that this nightmare is finally over.
In a month or so I hope you'll forget all about it, that no nightmares will haunt you at night, I know for sure they'll haunt mine.

I can imagine your brows skywards in surprise. Yes Kelly I've been here all along, this past week, ever since Kris called me. I dropped everything and caught the first plane to LA.
I had to be here, making sure you're safe.

Leaving you two years ago crushed my heart, but I had to. I couldn't bear to be by your side anymore. I couldn't stand being so close, but yet so far.

I want you to know how much I love you Kelly Garett, as my closest friend, as one of the few persons on this crazy planet I'd give my life for, as a lover.
In my whole life I never loved anyone as much as I love you, and you being my best, female, friend doesn't change that fact.

Please don't hate me Kelly, life has funny ways to remind you of your mistake, and I'm pretty sure I'm doing the biggest one. Revealing this dark side of me sure isn't wise but I can't help it, I wanted you to know.

I know how unfair it is from me to drop something like this and leave but I have no other choice, I can't face rejection, although that's all I deserve.

I'm flying back to the east coast tomorrow and you'll never hear from me anymore.
Please know that I never get married, that it's not my job which keeps me from visiting you.
It's just that seeing you happy with the nice guy you deserve would be a little too much to take.

You'll always be in my heart Kelly, and l miss you every single day.

Sabrina

What I didn't expect was her reaction. Remember how her caring and gentleness made me love her even more? Well she proved it to me even though she wasn't at her best. Told you such kindness should be illegal.

Although she was moved to a private room, she still had many monitors glued to her, checking her condition very regularly; they couldn't risk her getting worse.

As I was quietly leaving her floor, making sure noone would see me, the alarm in her room went crazy, all nurses rushing to her door. That stopped me dead in my tracks, she couldn't die now, she was fine a minute ago!
I wasn't thinking and followed the troop towards Kelly's room, good thing the members of the Agency left much earlier; I'd have run into them if not.

After what seemed like hours, I saw the nurses exit the room wheeling the reanimation cart out, clearly pissed. Spotting me at the door, Nurse Galloway gestured me to come in. I was frozen in chock, for me it'd only mean one thing: Kelly was dead and I was allowed in thanks to my status as police counselor in New York. This status already allowed me to stick around that week without raising too many questions; beside I wasn't asking to enter the room, so I wasn't a threat.
All I could do was shaking my head furiously from side to side, tears filling my eyes. It couldn't be, she couldn't be dead. Not after surviving a whole week, speaking to the others. Damn, what went wrong?
I felt hot and dizzy; I knew I was on my way to loose it completely, not that I cared.

Then I felt strong hands grab at my upper arms, fighting me, pinning me against the wall.
Above my cries, I'd vaguely hear a voice, a feminine voice, repeating endlessly the same thing "she's fine" over and over again, but it didn't make any sense for a long time. Until my sobs calmed and I'd concentrate on that voice. Looking up I met hazel eyes and a gentle smile.

Without a word, Nurse Galloway whipped at my tears and pushed me towards Kelly's room.
All of a sudden, I was at the threshold of a room I vowed never to enter; a room where a woman I haven't spoken to in three years was lying, cheeks crimson, eyes lowered, playing with the hem of her blanket.

Turning around I intended to leave the room but this option was soon a not one when Nurse Galloway closed the door right in front of my nose.

I was trapped.

--------

So ... what ya think ?