My Brother's Keeper, Chapter the Second
AN: I make no money out of this... in fact I lose it on library fees. Just to let you know this will develop over time and won't just be prattle and that I may not be able to update as often as I am now in future. Enjoy!
Easier to read link: emsana . livejournal . com / 69214 . html
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Hogwarts, December 1991
Dear Charlie,
You know what? You should really keep this twaddle aboutyour --manky-- adorable dragons to yourself. The way you go on about then; it's enough to scare a banshee. --Speaking of which-- We'll let Mum know you're fine... although you'll be able to tell her yourself soon. More on that later.
Alright, alright, so maybe we didn't know about James Potter but we've got the newer model anyway so... since when have you known so much about History anyway? Also, Fred says that, concerning Angelina --you can go and boil your head-- he thanks you for the sentiment but is perfectly capable of finding a Trophy Cabinet all by himself --although he did get lost once on the way.-- Perfectly capable.
Yeah, so, it's already snowing like there's no tomorrow --the weather must be imitating Filch's mood because those dung bombs last week really took it out of him and I hear-- so last Monday McGonagall put us down to stay for the holiday. Guess why? That's right – Mum and Dad are coming to see you for Christmas. Aren't you excited? Aren't you just dying to tell Mum about arm wrestling Horntails and your empty pockets? We'll bet. --Serves you right for insulting our beating skills.--
Alright, onto Perce. The Prefect's looking rather peaky to be honest. I think he's extra duties on top of his school work and sending him into --an early grave-- a frenzy. The other day I George (who feels stupid writing about himself in the third person --that's because he is stupid--) suggested he should eat something and he laughed. He was practically hysterical. Then he became horribly serious when we mentioned that he'd been lucky to see it to the next week, never mind Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. He looked pretty nervous actually, and asked up when the match was. See, we told you he was ill – since when has Percy ever given two hoots about Quidditch?
We're starting to be sickened by how much we've written voluntarily today. Good luck relocating --how did you know Mum was visiting? unfortunately you'll never relocate anywhere Mum won't find you-- and try not to lost any limbs before the folks get there.
--George and Fred-- Fred and George
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Merlin knows where, December 1991
Dear Fred and George,
Did you put Mum up to this? Is so, all I can say is: why? I got her owl the day after yours and have been --panicking-- preparing ever since. --Know any good concealing spells?- Not that I'm worried or have anything to hide. And keep your noses out of my accounting. I am perfectly --fluid-- --liquidized-- solvent. Taking into account your --blasphemous-- --crass-- critical comments about me and my --babies-- dragons – who are you to talk when you appear to be stalking not only your brother, but your Keeper (and current Captain) as well? Put that in your pipe and smoke it. --Speaking of smoke--
How do I know some much about History? I did actually do some more at school, and I was a Prefect as well --not that I'm lauding it over you or anything-- so I picked up the odd thing here or there. And, like I said, Potter Snr. was a legend; try doing some reading.. --You remember reading right?-- You never know, you might even learn something.
That does sound a little unlike Percy. Although I'd have thought you'd be glad to see him --lightening up-- taking an interest. Why not just give him a break from the crap pranks you usually dish out for a change. You never know, you may just put off his inevitable aneurism for another year.
To be honest, I was sickened by --what-- how much you wrote last time. Take it easy guys, you might sprain something. Mum and Dad get here tomorrow so I'll --go and try and hide the find some clean clothes-- leave you to ruin Christmas for everyone else at your end. Merry New Year and all that while I'm at it.
Charlie
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Hogwarts, January 1992
Dear Charlie
Hope this finds you --alive-- well, and that you enjoyed Christmas with Mum and Dad (and Ginny? We presume she went too, I mean --we'd have left her behind but-- she can't have had much better to be doing.).
We were so insulted by your comments about out --intelligible-- intellect and suggestions concerning our --moronic-- dear brother, and --slave driver of a-- noble Captain that we were temtped not to enclose the following information but --we're too bored not to-- --it's too good not to tell-- we're feeling in a kindly spirit what with all the recent festivities. I'm telling you, Christmas here really went off with a bang --literally-- thanks to us. We got some more --gaudy-- fantastic jumpers this year that are sure to --burn nicely-- go well with our collection. We even managed to get Perce to wear his... he even sat with us for dinner on the big day – although he nearly lost a tooth during the pudding and spent the whole time looking --miserable as sin-- rather distracted.
Talking of --grim sods-- Fifth years, Wood's been --in a foul mood-- rather preoccupied with training since he got back from --wherever the hell he lives-- his rest and recuperation. He's been pushing us like mad and we can't really blame him because we found out the other day that Snape'll be refereeing for next month's game. So, yeah, we might as well just hand in the cup now if --that greasy-- the Slytherin Head is looking to dock points especially since we --thrashed those slimy suckers-- beat them last term, and are set to overtake them for the Cup. Potter didn't look much pleased either; he's got it into his head that Snape's got it out for him --not that we'd put it past him-- which is ridiculous. Anyway, he cleared off pretty sharpish at the end, and when everyone else had cleared off Wood asked us to stay behind. He asked us to leave off Percy a bit. We were tempted to tell him to --go and stuff himself-- mind his own but --beyond totmenting Filch we live for nothing more than a good beat around-- he is out Captain, and senior, so we just asked him why. He looked sort of confused and then muttered something pathetic about him being our Captain and how he'd be in the firing line and respecting our superiors --and blah blah blah-- before shuffling off to the showers. Either he's planning on trying to get away with something big --although what we can't imagine as he's almost as goody two shoes as the Perfect Prefect himself-- or Percy's got him in cahoots... or something. The plot thickens.
Ron's been running round --like a twit-- reading recently. Something's definitely up.
Fred and George
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Somewhere snowy, January 1992
Dear Fred and George,
Never, ever ask me about Christmas again. Ever. Yes, Ginny was there, no it didn't improve the situation. There are no words. --I didn't even make any money out of the chatastrophe-- Seeing as how you ask, yes, I did indeed receive another jumper, I would have --given it to the baby dragons-- leant it to a more needy person that I but it is really very cold here and I've stopped worrying about burns and started worrying and frost-bite and chillblains. I most concerned about the Welsh Green we have here as she's not been looking good since that last wind storm.
Glad to hear you've been following my advice and caring for your overworked --although not as underpaid as I am-- brother. I'm rather glad to hear that Wood's given you a good talking to, --oh Merlin, I sounded like Mum didn't I?-- I only hope you take his advice. Although, you are right. It is a rather unusual request from your Quidditch captain. I'll give it some thought and get back to you but short of --them planning world domination-- McGonagall intervening on her Prefect's behalf I can't really think of anything else. Of course it's always possible that -
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Dear Sirs,
It is with infinte regret that we must inform you that the rest of this letter could not reach you. It appears that one of our owls was attacked on its flight to HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDY from our CARPATHIAN REGION. We would have enclosed the ashes but unfortunately they were causing the ink to smudge.
Please find enclosed a bill for the second postal required for this to reach you, and other included charges.
Andreea Olteanu
Departamentul de Bufniţă
Cluj Poştale de Birou
International Postal:7 Sickles
Treatment of Severely Scalded Ural Owl:5 Galleons