"No one will ever hurt you again," Kurt said fiercely. "I swear. I won't let anybody hurt you ever again. I love you."
It had not even been a decision. There was no conscious part of him that said, "You have to tell Blaine." He just did. In the seconds afterwards, he felt as vulnerable as he had rarely felt before. His own words had cut him open, crushed his defenses, and yet he did not regret them. For it was clear that, even if he did not know it, and even if he might not really reciprocate, Blaine needed to hear them. (He didn't tell him about his plans regarding Alex White, though. He couldn't do anything until he had talked to Elliot, and anyway, Blaine just didn't need to know about that.)
Blaine turned in his arms and looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears.
"You love me?" he said.
Kurt looked at him and manged a smile. "So much."
Blaine's smile lit up his face. "I love you, too."
It was strange how a few little words could make him so happy.
…...
Blaine could have sworn he felt a physical sense of relief when he told Kurt about his former Dom, like a weight from his shoulders or a wall coming down, or what other sayings there were. Even while he was still shaking, with his eyes brimming with tears, he felt good, relaxed and happy.
And when Kurt told him he loved him...there were no words. His Dom loved him. It made him want to give him everything, offer his whole self. And it made him realize that even now, even after talking about what happened, he was holding something back, and he found he didn't want to anymore. It didn't mar his happiness, though, or his appreciation for this moment. It just made him determined. Because, wasn't submission all about that? About holding nothing back?
So after a long time in which they lay there, sharing lazy kisses and talking little, he said,
"Sir? Oh, sorry. May I ask a question, Sir?"
Kurt shook his head, smiling. "We're past that today. sweetheart, I think. The TPE weekend is prematurely, but wonderfully, over. For now."
"Okay. I liked it, though. I mean, it was hard sometimes, especially the not talking part, and I wouldn't want it to be like that all the time, but I'd like to repeat it at some point. Can we do that, Sir?"
"We certainly can," Kurt said. "I liked it too. But was that the question you wanted to ask?"
"No. What I wanted is, I'd like you to, I mean, if you wanted to, you could...I mean, I want..."
"Pet," Kurt thankfully interrupted his rambling. "What is it?"
It wasn't that he wasn't sure. Still, it was hard to actually say the words, especially after a day like today, that had been strangely intense although they had spent most of it in bed. He took a deep breath.
"I'd like you to flog me, Sir. To make me fly, like you said you would. I'm ready now. I don't want to hold anything back from you."
A moment of silence as Kurt drew him closer and made him look him in the eyes.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Then we will definitely do that. Just not today."
"But why not?"
"Um...rub your ass against the mattress a little, pet, see if that reminds you."
A little wriggling on the bed did indeed remind Blaine that he had gone through a pretty intense paddling not too long ago, as even Kurt's high-threadcount sheets felt like sandpaper against his butt.
"Your ass is very pretty, red with a pattern of white dots from the holes in the paddle. If you had spent some time today sitting instead of lying in bed with me, you would never have been able to forget it," Kurt laughed.
"I will feel it tomorrow," Blaine said happily. "That will make a day of boring teacher's conference so much more interesting. But okay, then it's probably better we'll leave it at that. But, Sir – I don't know if I'll be able to ask again. I want it, the flogging, I mean, but – I'm nervous. It's hard to ask for this."
"Don't worry, pet. I'll take care of it."
Blaine was glad they could theoretically stay in bed all day – although, if his stomach was to be believed, he should probably get up at some point soon and prepare something to eat. He hoped they would go back to cuddling and doing nothing after eating, though he would settle for the couch if necessary. But he didn't feel up to doing much more. He was happy now, lying in his Dom's arms, but he also felt thin-skinned and weirdly emotional, which, when he thought about it, was perhaps understandable after a weekend of intense submission followed by talking about his past and a confession of love. It had just been a lot. So he snuggled closer to Kurt, and with a content sigh, buried his face in his shoulder.
The phone rang.
…...
Kurt groaned as he rolled over to pick up the phone, disentangling himself from Blaine as little as possible.
"What?" he asked, in vain trying not to let his irritation about being disturbed show too much.
"Princess, we're in the neighborhood and we haven't seen you in ages. We're coming over."
"No – Santana! No way, today's not a good day, let's just arrange something else - "
"Now. For some reason, Brit really wants to see you and the hobbit. He's with you, isn't he? We're bringing dinner."
Click.
"Santana -"
He threw the phone on the bed. "Damn! I'm sorry, sweetheart. Apparently we're having guests."
"Sir, please, I can't – I'm sorry, I don't really feel up to company today, and to, you know...pretending. It won't work, I'm too subby."
"I know, pet," Kurt said, stroking Blaine's back reassuringly, his mind working. "We'll figure something out. We can say you're coming down with a cold or something. You won't have to say a lot, and if it gets too much, you can go lie down again. It'll be okay, I promise."
He sighed. "We should probably get dressed, though, and then I should go check the playroom for anything out in the open."
For a few moments, they stalled, Kurt kissing Blaine and reassuring him until Blaine managed a somewhat forced smile that nevertheless showed he was determined to make the best out of a bad situation.
"It's kind of interesting to see you being walked over like that, Sir," he said drily, and Kurt smiled, rubbing his neck.
"Santana is...a force even I can't withstand."
Growing serious, he looked at Blaine and hugged him, then rubbed his arms. "I'm sorry. It's not what I imagined today to go, either. We'll just have to make the best of it."
…...
They just had enough time to shower and quickly dress. When the doorbell rang, Blaine was still toweling his hair, and that was almost enough to shatter his resolve to get through the evening without either faking a cold, starting to cry or giving in to his submissive side and falling to his knees before Kurt.
But he just took a deep breath and went to the bathroom to fix his hair, and then put on a smile and went to greet Brittany and Santana. Who was, he remembered, intimidating enough on a normal day. But it could not be helped.
Dinner was...quite awful, to be honest. He did not manage to contribute much to the conversation, but mostly kept quiet and let the voices of the others drift above him, concentrating on the hand Kurt kept on his thigh or his back most of the time. The gentle touch anchored him, but he still had to fight the urge to drop to his knees and just lose himself.
Surprisingly, Santana wasn't too bad. Apart from the obligatory remarks about cockblocking them and how they'd had the whole weekend for sex and shouldn't be so reluctant to make time for their friends, she seemed to pick up on his mood, and was almost gentle when she talked to him. Brittany, though, was not so considerate, although she, too, seemed to notice he was unusually quiet. But instead of talking at him without expecting him to answer, like Santana, she asked a lot of questions that made him really uncomfortable because there was no way to answer them without basically telling her,
"I'm fine, but I'm still half in subspace because we had a really intense weekend and your visit was really unexpected and has thrown me for a loop."
So he kept quiet and stuck to monosyllabic, vague answers when Kurt didn't save him and answered for him, until he couldn't take it anymore and excused himself to the bathroom to try and get back his bearings.
After a few deep breaths and splashing some water in his face, he spent a few moments just sitting on the rim of the tub to avoid going out again, but he couldn't hide in here forever. So he took another deep breath and opened the door. On the way to the living room, he passed by the bedroom and stopped in surprise. Through the open door, he could see Santana pressing Brittany to the wall, holding her by the throat, the other hand grabbing her hair, whispering what was clearly a reprimand. Brittany listened, contrite, not resisting, but rather melting into the rough touch of her girlfriend. Or...her Domme?
It certainly seemed like it. Huh. He'd never have suspected, and he didn't think Kurt knew, either. He could see it, though. Santana walked through the world in a way that naturally demanded respect, but at the same time, the way she had guessed his mood before and treated him in a way that reassured him showed good intuition and a caring nature. He didn't know enough about them to guess anything about the nature of her relationship to Brittany, but right now, she was certainly deferent, nodding to Santana's words as far as the grip on her throat would allow. Santana loosened her grip, stroked Brittany's hair and kissed her, and Brittany smiled happily as they prepared to go back to the living room.
Blaine hurried back into the bathroom to avoid being seen and stalled a few moments, wondering how to deal with this new knowledge. He decided to just ignore it for now and talk to Kurt later. Kurt would know what to do, he knew his friends and would be able to guess if they would be okay with them knowing, or if they should keep it to themselves.
He shook his head to himself, grinning a little. Of course he had known that there must be other people in the lifestyle except those he knew, and that most of them would handle it the way he and Kurt did and keep it quiet, but it was still surprising to find something like that out about people he knew.
When he finally joined the others, he saw that Kurt had cleared the table and was now serving cheesecake for dessert, putting the slices on plates and decorating them with raspberry sauce. Before Blaine could sit down, however, Santana stopped him, saying,
"Blaine, could you get the wine we brought, please?"
And without thinking, Blaine answered with the honorific he was accustomed to using to address female Dominants.
"Yes, Mistress Santana."