Chapter 6
AN: I don't own or gain anything concerning the characters or original plot.
Here goes Year 2, in which things shall happen... with any luck. Enjoy.
Easy read link: emsana . livejournal . com / 74300 . html
-
Hogwarts, October 1992
Dear Charlie,
We do hope you had a lovely summer. Did you have a lovely summer? We had a lovely summer. Everything was wonderful and we have returned to Hogwarts for our fourth year after a restful and uneventful summer --in which we did not destroy our brother's life or steal Dad's car--. Well, there were a few things that did come up... but we wouldn't worry about them if we were you; Mum and Dad aren't, they're too busy being pissed at Ron for stealing the car to drive him and Potter to school when they missed the Hogwarts Express. As it seems Ron is not the wisest Weasley in the Barrow and is also so --incompetent-- bad at time-keeping he can't even catch a train without disaster ensuing. Admittedly we may or may not have shown him the ropes with the Anglia when we busted Harry out of his Aunt and Uncle's place. Before you explode, there were bars on his window and he was practically semaphoring for help so it was really more of a humanitarian venture than anything else... really. We also ran into that --git-- author Gilderoy Lockhart in Diagon Alley the other day – we all flooed down (except Potter, who may be a seeking prodigy, but is also a moron), and Dad got into a fight with Lucius Malfoy outside Flourish and Blotts. It was a sight to be seen, we're telling you; Dad's got quite the left hook on him as well!Asides from that though, it really was an eventful summer. We played a few games of Quidditch with the Potter (with whom Ginny is utterly enamoured), degnomed the garden, and outed Percy to our Keeper. So, like we said: same old, same old.
School is also going well --if Mum owls and asks-- although there have been a few highs and lows. Ginny got into Gryffindor, as you've doubtless heard, which is the good news. Bad news is Lockhart is the new DADA teacher, and completely useless at that. He might as well just kill us all now and save the Dark Arts' the bother, as it's not like we'll be able to put up much of a fight the way he teaches it – he almost killed himself with some pixies' the other day in a Second Year lesson, the way we hear it.
Anyway, we're off to Quidditch practice. Wood is even more --obsessive-- committed this year so we're sure to spend --every waking moment-- much of our spare time on the pitch. Glad to hear you made it through another summer with the Antipedia Opals and Norberta.
Fred and George
P.S. - Oh, and Percy's doing just fine... never been better.
-
Suceava "Slightly Singed" Research Centre, October 1992
Dear Fred and George,
I was somewhat concerned by your previous letter, so I have chosen to tackle the more mundane details first in order to steel myself --with a little help from a bottle of Ţuică--.
I can only assume Mum has already strung you all up for rescuing Harry so I shan't go into that more than is necessary other that to say you are fools, but enviable ones at that! I wouldn't mind getting behind the wheel of the girl myself! I'm also impressed Ron managed to fly it all the way to Hogwarts (I presume he did in fact fly) without killing both himself and Harry. I can't believe that Dad actually got into a fist-fight, least of all with Lucius Malfoy --although if there ever were someone--, but I suppose I'll have to take your word for it. This Lockhart chap – can't say I've ever delved into his literature --he hasn't written anything on dragons--, but I vaguely recall Mum being obsessed by him! I almost pity you.
Now, what have you done to Percy and how difficult is it going to be to fix it? I struggle to comprehend the logical steps you took in coming to the assumption that telling Wood he is believed to be the object of our brother's affection. Firstly, we have no actual evidence, and secondly, why oh why oh why?! I do hope he's alright and isn't embarking on his penultimate year at Hogwarts to be faced with Hell. I can't decide if you two are loving and well meaning but unaccountable stupid, or actually just pure evil.
Charlie
P.S. - Concerning the dragons, thanks for the interest – although I can only assume you are referring to the Antipodean Opaleye in your last letter --which was most discernible--.
-
Hogwarts, November 1992
Dear Charlie,
Things have --disintegrated-- declined rather rapidly round here. The other day Filch's --flea bag-- cat turned up petrified – of course, we were the first to be dragged in and interrogated – and then on Monday some first year was found as well. Apparently it's all to do with some old Hogwarts legend about a Chamber or something. May be the apocalypse, may just be someone having a laugh, who knows? Lockhart's also been sabotaging our lives – we thrashed Slytherin the other day at Quidditch (you can congratulate us later) but Potter managed to --bugger up-- take a Bludge to the arm --and, no, before you ask, it was not one of ours--. Lockhart goes to fix it, and ends up vanishing all of Harry's bones. Were we impressed? No we were not. We're thinking of giving Filch a rest --and not just because we feel bad about his cat-- and direct our mischevous expertise at our moron of a DADA teacher instead. Not that you heard this from us.
Percy's fine --at least, we think he is; he's not talking to us--, and we were very subtle in telling Wood. We just went up to him and told him our theory casually. At first he thought we were joking – we can't decide if we're insulted, or honoured – but when he realised we were serious he just asked us why were telling him and then stuttered his way out of the conversation. And seeing as Percy is alive, and not a social outcast we're assuming all's well that hasn't quite ended well yet. Then again, Wood did make us practice Quidditch in --a flood-- torrential downpour the other day... not that he hasn't been known to --torture us-- push us to our limits. He seemed a bit more serious as well. We're sure it's nothing. We thought we'd ask Percy if he was alright just in case but he stared at us as if we were mad and begged us not to do anything until he handed in his Transfiguration essay on Thursday. Like we said: insulted? Honoured?
Anyway, the plus side of it all is that everyone round here has gone crazy and are convinced they are the next on the list of Person To Be Petrified --we may or may not have encouraged this rumour-- so we're doing quite well out of the talisman business.
Fred and George
-
The Bottom of the Ţuică Bottle, November 1992
Dear Fred and George,
Having read your last I found I could not stomach a reply without a decent quantity of fermented liquids within me. I am yet again astounded and disturbed at the levels you will sink to. Have you ever heared of exploitation? You know there's a good kind and a bad kind, right? Well, this is the bad kind. Only you two could exist in the middle of a dilemma and your first thoughts to be "how can we profit from others' misfortune?". Were it not for the resemblance I would beg to difer that we come from the same gene pool. And I haven't even got onto what you've been doing to Percy yet.
So, you've butchered your own brother. Bravo. Is this revenge for him being a Prefect or is it actually something personal? If Wood is still the Keeper I remember he'll know how to keep his mouth shut, and will have the decency to do so. That way, so long as you two don't go bleeting to the rest of the Wizarding World we should be safe. Now, here's what you two are going to do: you will go to Percy and you will ask him very nicely and not in public --for Merlin's sake, not in public-- whether or not you two have the right end of the stick. You will not jeer, you will not taunt, you will be polite --you do know what that means right?-- and considerate. When he undoubtedly asks who else knows you will tell him and then you will assure him that it will not leave the conversation and you will leave him alone, capiche? Whatever Percy does with this information is his business and you will keep out of it. --Oh sweet Shortsnouts, I sound like our Mother.--
Please take some of what I've said into account --and if you could maybe see your way to persuading Mum to sending me a few galleons--.
Charlie