Blaine sat up, dragging his hands through his hair and sighing. His hair felt wet and sticky, the gel mingling with sweat. He really needed a shower, but it was better to just get this over with. He wasn't even sorry he didn't get away with a placating lie; though it would be an awkward, emotional discussion, he knew that only Kurt could lay his mind to rest, could calm the stupid worries that were niggling at him.
He scooted over, nudging Kurt's legs until he parted them so Blaine could sit between them. When Kurt put his arms around him, holding him tight, Blaine leaned back against Kurt's chest and closed his eyes. This was his favorite position in the world, especially for difficult conversations: Held, completely surrounded by Kurt, but not having to look into his eyes.
He settled comfortably and then started to speak.
"Now, this is silly," he began, and as he felt Kurt shake his head, he turned until he could look into his face.
"Please just let me talk? It is silly because I know all of this is just in my mind, and if any of the things I'm afraid of were really going to happen, which, rationally, I doubt, I probably wouldn't be able to prevent them from happening. Least of all by clinging to you or acting like a spoiled child. So. But I can't turn off my mind, and so I have these fears even if I know they're silly. And I'll probably start crying any moment.
I never got to tell you how my meeting with Chandler went, and it was really nice. I think he and I could become friends, but there's always that voice telling me that he was yours, just as much or even more so than I am. And he told me some things about his past, and how you saved him and made him stop drinking, and I thought, you and I, we will never have that kind of connection."
Kurt's arms tightened around him.
"I know you don't need me to save you. I haven't forgotten the backlash I got when I tried anything of that kind. Still, I would, I mean, if necessary I would try my best to save you. But, the thing with Chandler - it made a connection, yes, but it also was an awful time that I don't really like to remember, plus it was in part responsible for how screwed up our relationship was in the end. I mean, he held on for longer than he wanted because he believed he owed me, and I held on for longer than I wanted because I wasn't sure if he wouldn't relapse and all of this felt like my responsibility. So we continued pretending everything was fine until no one could overlook that in truth, we were completely miserable. There's nothing wrong with a relationship that is comparatively free of drama, you know? The opposite, actually."
Blaine gasped when Kurt bit his earlobe, first gently, then harder.
"You see what I'm going to do, don't you?" Kurt whispered. "I'm going to deconstruct any argument you have until there's nothing left to make you insecure."
"O-okay." Blaine shivered when he felt Kurt's breath hot and close on his ear, but there was no way back now. He was more than happy to let his Dom dissolve his fears one at a time - though he had doubts that he could.
"Then he told me - you know how he is, he told me about things you did in - in bed, and I don't know if...what if I can't do that?"
Kurt chuckled. "Okay, now I'm curious. But I won't ask - what you two talked about is none of my business. I knew what I was doing when I wanted you to meet. But, sweetheart - in case you haven't noticed, our sex life isn't exactly vanilla, and I don't think I've ever given you the impression I was bored. I love what we do, and if you never want to do anything else than what we've already done, I'm perfectly happy."
Kurt's hands crept under the cover and started roaming over Blaine's chest. Blaine's breath hitched when a thumb caught on a nipple and then stayed there, moving gently and almost not touching.
"Um...so, then I told you I thought Chandler was in love with Elliot. And I swear it wasn't something I imagined because I wished it, and I kind of believed you when you said you were matchmaking in your head - but then again, I didn't. And then I started to doubt I really saw what I thought I saw, and kind of told myself that Chandler was still in love with you, and - and maybe you with him."
Blaine was nearly crying now, and the reason that he hadn't already started was that his cock had begun to take an interest in what Kurt's hands were doing. Apparently, it didn't matter that his last orgasm hadn't been two hours ago, and when Kurt started speaking again, his breath hot and then cooling on Blaine's bare skin, it didn't help either.
"I don't know what to tell you," Kurt confessed, his hands busy rubbing and pinching Blaine's nipples. "You know I love you. Chandler will always have a place in my heart, but I'm so ridiculously in love with you that I don't feel like there's much room for anyone else. But I don't know if you'll believe me now if you didn't believe me then."
Blaine gasped as Kurt bit him, hard, where his neck met his shoulder. He supposed it was meant as a punishment, but it didn't work, as the pain only managed to coax his cock to full hardness and his head to a place where he couldn't think of much else than Kurt's mouth all over his body.
"God," he moaned. "I believe you, Sir, I know you love me, I'm sorry."
"And I really was thinking about matchmaking, you know. I was really worried about Elliot, he sometimes lives so much in his Dom role that he only takes care of his sub and forgets to take care of himself. I want him to be happy, and so - well, I couldn't stop myself. I called him on Friday morning and may have strongly suggested that Chandler returned his feelings."
Kurt was speaking between kissing and nibbling Blaine's neck, and while one of his hands kept rubbing Blaine's nipples, the other was slowly traveling south. Blaine closed his eyes and laid back against Kurt's shoulder, surrendering to the feelings Kurt's hands woke in him. He didn't talk anymore, only moaned softly as Kurt slowly and lazily stroked his cock.
He cried out when Kurt twisted his nipple.
"Continue, pet," Kurt ordered, never stopping the motion of his hand. "I don't think you were finished."
"No Sir, I wasn't." Blaine panted softly, fighting the urge to raise his hand and cover his abused nipple. The dynamics had shifted; he was sure he wasn't allowed to do that.
"I just can't really...concentrate when you're doing that."
"Well, I'm enjoying myself, so I won't stop, and you don't get to come until you've told me everything."
Kurt moved his hand over to the other nipple, twisting it for good measure so there were now to spots of hot, throbbing pain on Blaine's chest, adding another level to his arousal.
"Oh god, please," he moaned. grabbing Kurt's legs with both hands and digging his fingers in to keep from touching himself. He wasn't sure where; his chest was on fire, and he longed to soothe it, but at the same time, Kurt's hand on his cock was moving far too slowly, and he was getting desperate for some real friction. He still didn't talk, but instead concentrated on grabbing Kurt's legs so hard he was sure there would be bruises tomorrow. On Kurt; that would be a first.
"Talk, Blaine."
"O-okay. Um, I was kind of wondering how that came to pass, but you calling Elliot explains it. Sir, please..."
He bucked up into Kurt's hand. He couldn't stop himself and he hadn't been ordered to keep still, so he would do it as long as he still could.
"Please what? Please stop? Or please faster? Or...?"
"I don't know. Just...please, please, Sir."
Kurt's hand moved faster, giving Blaine what he wanted for just a moment before he took it away completely, leaving Blaine to whine desperately and buck up into thin air.
"I think you should focus less on what would 'please' you, pet, and more on what would please me. And I want you to talk."
"Yes. Sir. Um, on Friday, before I ….started to disturb you, I was on the phone at some point."
Blaine moaned when Kurt's hand fell back on his cock, for a moment just lying there, but soon continuing the lazy, too-slow pumping.
"You never noticed, you were too - too busy. Anyway, I - oh god - I talked to Chandler for a few minutes, and he told me - he told me that Master Elliot had summoned him to the club that afternoon and that - that he had collared him."
Kurt's hand stilled for a moment, but soon resumed its motion. "I think I'll have to give my opinion to Elliot about that. It's supposed to be a ceremony, there are supposed to be guests. I can't believe I wasn't invited."
He stroked faster, pinching Blaine's nipple at the same time, and Blaine quickly took his hand away from Kurt's leg and bit hard into the flesh to keep from coming.
He shivered as he once again felt Kurt's hot breath in his ear.
"But why did that upset you? I should think it would ease your worries about him and me?"
Blaine had to take his hand away from his mouth to answer, and he talked fast, knowing he would not be able to hold back much longer.
"It did, Sir. But...but they haven't been together as long as we have, and until Friday, they didn't even - I just want - we're soon arriving at the end of our contract, and you haven't said anything about renewing it, and - I want to be yours, Sir. I want to stay with you. I want your collar."
He came in hot spurts over Kurt's hand, and as he lay back panting, he slowly realized that he had just blurted out what he hadn't even really admitted to himself.