Chapter 23: Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat
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Suddenly, everything became all happy again, for the music changed.
Then, I heard Old Dueteronomy and Jemima singing behind me:
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
I looked up and saw the moonlight was now shining on Dad. Ooh, time for his song! See, I liked his song better then Mom's, because he actually does most of the dancing for it. Which means naptime for my poor little feets!
The Cat of the Railway Train
There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine
When the Night Mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble?
He shot up, looking startled.
Huh, wonder if he planned that.
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can't start"
See, I think thats not true. Surely ONE cat, no matter how cool of a dad he is, he can't keep a train waiting! I mean, those things are HUUUGE! I know, I followed dad to work once, but I got in trouble for it.
All the guards and all the porters
And the station master's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying "Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble
Then the night mail just can't go."
See, exaggeration! Exaggeration!
Okay, time to sit up and watch.
At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue
And the passengers all frantic to a man
Then he started to dance frantically in a circle, and Teazer did it behind him, but in a not-so-mocking way.
That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van!
Ha ha, Electra pounced at him!
Ooh, not nice daddy! You almost exposed your...you know whats! Ha ha ha!
I guess he noticed. He had a stupid look of shock on his face. Of course, he just barreled over Asparagus. He must be heavy, Tumble cuaght him, but he's staggering.
And now my Dad was pantomiming again.
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went "All Clear!"
They'd be off at last to the northern part of the Northern Hemisphere!
You know, Dad has never taken me on the train, but he's taken Teazer and Admetus plenty of times! Not fair at all!
Aw, I forgive him. He's my dad!
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
I liked this! When I saw Dad begin dancing and leading a line, I jumped up and joined in the line. I gave Bomb a smile as I passed her, and she smiled back before pawing at me. I could just imagine her going "Meow". Sexy...
Oh, don't give me that look, Cass!
You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
I would supervise them all more or less
More or less?
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travellers in the first and the third
What the heck? It looked like Electra was trying to steal Cassandra's ear or something?
By the way, why does Cassandra always stand with her hands out? It's like she freaking royalty or something. I heard she had descended from Egypt...whatever that is.
He established control by a regular patrol
And he'd know at once if anything occurred
Yeah, my dad seems to have, like trouble radar or something.
He would watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking
And it's certain that he didn't approve
Of hilarity and riot so that folk were very quiet
Ha ha, he got Jemima and Etcetera! Those two could really use shutting up sometimes...
When Skimble was about and on the move
Wow, Dad is a good dancer. Don't remember him ever having a scottish accent though...I think...
You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks!
He's a cat that couldn't be ignored
As Skimbleshanks hearded us to the back, we all joined hands in a long line. I was hooked up with Tantomile and Cassandra (studly!). We all began skipping merrily. I bet we looked wierd...but it was fun! This was a happy little song, this was.
So nothing went wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard
Up in the air! Whoosh! Now, we're all lying on our stomachs, like kittens waiting for story time.
It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den
With their name written up on the door
On a plate? Cuase if it was on a plate, wouldn't they have to change plates with changing train riders? Would that cost a lot of money?
I have a random mind. Pineapple.
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet
And not a speck of dust upon the floor
There was every sort of light
You could make it dark or bright
And a button you could turn to make a breeze
Sounds like a cool train. I like wind...
And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze
As if on cue, Teazer suddenly sneezed. It wouldn't surprise me if it was fake. Electra has the ability to cry whenever she wants. Just like I have the ability to look hot whenever I want, which is ALL THE TIME!
Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly,
"Do you like your morning tea-
"WEAK OR STRONG?" we all shouted. I got a little giggly when he jumped.
"By the way, do you still want to go hunting later?" Tantomile suddenly asked me.
Huh? "Uh....sure?" I said. She smiled. What was that ab-oh yeah, I asked her during Bustopher's song! I have such a short memory...it's nice...
But I was just behind him and was ready to remind him
For Skimble won't let anything go wrong
And he doesn't. I learn that every day when I try to pull a prank. It sucks!
When they crept into their cosy berth and pulled up the counterpane
Ha ha, he looks like a guy taking his pants off! I sat up and kicked my legs out, so I was sitting cross eagled. I began to shake my head to the rythem of the song. (Did I spell that right?....)
They all could reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice
They can leave all that to the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
And now came the fun part-we got to build a train! I ran over to the side of the junkyard, so I could grab an umbrella. I was going to hold it up to be the front of the train, which was a large cloth. Orange too! Yeah orange!
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The Cat of the Railway Train
I opened up the umbrella (glad we're outdoors, I don't want bad luck!), and placed it front. This left me alone inside the fake train with Mom and some other cat holding it up behind us, I'm not sure who....
Oh, this also makes me hard to hear what Dad is singing. (I could see Tumble getting his fleas picked out by Cassie - guess she wants to get close to her new mates son). So, I just turned my head around and began talking to mom. "Hey, Mom, why'd you pick Dad?" I asked. Mom looked shocked. "Pouncival!" she scolded. Oops. Maybe that came out wrong..."No, I mean, how did you guys get together?" I asked her. Sue me, I wanted to know.
Oh, crap, now she's got the "I'm in love-look", which I'm sure I wore around Bombalurina, but it was justified, I was actually in love with her, but still, I regretted my question!
Which, is exactly why I tuned out what she was saying, and began singing a song I heard on the radio earlier. Well I could dance with you honey, if you think it's funny, but does your mother know that your out, and I could chat with you baby, flirt a little maybe, but does your mother know that you're-
HEY HEY HEY MOM WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING! Oops, slipped on my tail. Now I'm flat on my back. At first I felt humiliated, cause I thought I screwed everything up. Oh, look, everyone fell apart!
Is Dad mad? No, he looks amused. So does Old D....phew, that could have been bad, for me, the tribe, and my hind-end...
And he gives a wave of his long brown tail
Which says "I'll see you again!
You'll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
The Cat of the Railway Train!"
Ooh, doing this wierd dance is fun! And now everyone is doing it! Even Old Dueteronomy! (Of course, Munku has to help him with that)
And then, Asparagus and Alonzo turned into steps, and Dad walked up on top of them. All high and mightly like. Maybe I should try that with Tumble and Metus...
The Cat of the Railway Train!
And of course, who better then to ruin the fun then another bang from Macavity?
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Done!