The part Zuko hates most about being Firelord is the part where he has to be seen by the public. Most of the time, he can perform his duties from the comfort of his palace, or an otherwise private location. But while one half of being an Emperor is meetings and orders and signing papers and making decisions, the other half is akin to a theater performance. Today's abdication ceremony is much less to honor King Kuei and his successor, and more just a show for laypeople to enjoy. Zuko tries to convince himself that it's necessary - the people need to see the leaders of the world cooperating and supporting one another - but it doesn't help him to hate it any less.

He spent ages staring at himself in the mirror this morning, picking out tiny details, shifting around so the light would hit him at different angles, trying to prove to himself that it was all just in his head. Every time he looks at himself, he seems to resemble his father more and more. And if June had noticed, then certainly others have noticed, too.

In just a few hours, he'll be delivering a speech to a massive audience of Earth Kingdom citizens, and the thought of them all staring at him makes him feel physically ill. So ill, in fact, that when Katara sees him out on the front porch staring off into space at a cloud-darkened horizon, she actually bothers to ask if he's all right.

"...Are you feeling okay?" She comes out behind him, then quickly adds, "I'm just asking because it wouldn't be a good look for the Firelord to be in poor health today. If you need healing-"

"I look that bad?"

"...Okay, nevermind then. Obviously you're fine. Forget I asked. I'm going to finish getting ready."

But before she reaches for the doorknob, Zuko says, "Wait…"

"What?" She's eager to end the conversation already.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Can't you, I don't know, ask Toph?" It's an honest question.

"Somehow, I don't think Toph will be able to help me with this. Besides - you're the only person I know who hates me enough to give me an honest answer."

She almost rolls her eyes. There was a time during which she would be girlishly enamored with his propensity for being dramatic, but now, she's at least a little annoyed by it. "Make it quick, then."

"Do I look like my father?"

At that, her disinterested demeanor gives way to a cold shock. Her first impulse is to tell him no, of course not. But as he turns to face her straight-on, there's no mistaking it. It's always been so easy for Katara to look at Zuko and still see the face of the angry boy she'd fallen in love with. But Zuko isn't a child anymore. The soft features of his mid-teenage years have sharpened and matured to favor the sunken, square angles of his predecessor. It's in the strong shape of his jaw and the intense set of his brow, and mostly, it's in his eyes. It's weird for Katara to think about, but it's not as though Ozai hadn't been a handsome man. It only makes sense for his only son to grow up in his image.

Finally, she says, softly and perhaps even with a note of sympathy, "...Maybe a little. But," she tries to amend, "it's mostly just when you scowl… which is often."

"I see." His expression does not soften.

Tilting her head a little as she looks up at him, she suggests, "Try smiling more." And then, she heads back inside.

…

It's considered bad form for a Firelord to share his palanquin with anyone outside of the Royal Family. Zuko and Toph both know the only reason they aren't getting lectured about what's proper and acceptable is because it's so early in the morning that crowds haven't gathered yet - no one is around to see them riding to the Earth Kingdom Palace together. But Zuko knows that out of everyone in his life, Toph is the least concerned about what's good form and what isn't, and even if there were millions of pairs of eyes staring at them, she'd still be exactly where she sits now, contentedly picking at her toenails. Zuko almost smiles - there's something refreshing, and even comforting, about the fact that even with her noble status, Toph has always done whatever she pleases to do, and has never cared who sees her doing it.

"Quit worrying," she says suddenly, and Zuko's almost smile turns into a slight frown.

"About what?"

"About your face. So what if you look like your dad?" She gives a careless shrug.

"You can't understand what it's like. I can be as different from my father as anyone can possibly be. That won't stop people from just seeing Ozai's Disowned Son when they look at me."

"That's because," she reasons, "you are Ozai's disowned son. But you're Zuko, too. You can be both at the same time, you know. Anyone worth a shit will understand that."

"I dunno…" He's uneasy, shifting around and fumbling with the cuffs of his sleeves. So Toph takes her forearm and swings it against his ribs.

"Didn't I just tell you to stop worrying? Look," This time, she's gentler. "I know you're nervous. I know you hate speeches, and people staring at you, and everyone whispering under their breath, and people grimacing at the sight of you-"

"You're supposed to be helping me, remember?"

"-But all they really care about is that for the first time in a century, the Firelord is on their side. Okay?" She's smiling - a big, earnest smile that should have been infectious.

"I wonder," Zuko says, "If you'd say that if you could actually see me."

"I can actually see you. All the parts of you that matter, anyways." Toph can feel instantly the way Zuko softens beside her. "Sometimes people ask me if I ever wish I weren't blind. The truth is, I don't. I'm better off this way. And if you could see the version of yourself that I see, you wouldn't have any doubts about who you are."

Zuko almost wishes he was blind, too - or that everyone else in the world was.

He says, "Thank you, Toph. That helps."

"Meh," she gives his shoulder a playful shove, "let's not get too mushy, now. I just don't want you to fuck up your speech."

Zuko can see one of the palanquin bearers flinch at Toph's language, glancing uneasily over his shoulder.

…

The Earth Kingdom Royal Palace is still being prepped for the ceremony. Servants and workers are hurrying through the halls, pinning up banners, sweeping away dust, and running around with checklists as they monitor their progress. While Zuko has been escorted to the green room to prepare for his speech, Toph has made her way to a table of fruit that was supposed to be off-limits until the reception. Workers are giving her disconcerted looks, but no one dares ask her to stop eating.

Toph knows she's not exactly a crowd favorite - people respect her, but mostly because they worry what she'll do if they don't. In fact, of all the ambassadors and representatives that have come together after the war, Toph is probably the least supported. If it weren't for her friendship with Zuko, she thinks she'd be hard-pressed to get anyone at all to take her seriously. Most of the time she's unphased by it, but occasionally she finds herself wishing that people weren't so bothered by who she is. After all - It's not like being blunt and crass and daring to have a sense of humor ever hurt anybody.

She's shoving a wedge of pineapple into her mouth when, at the far end of the corridor, a familiar set of vibrations catch her attention. You gotta be kidding, she thinks, almost feeling ill. She wipes her sleeve across her mouth, angling her back in such a way that she hopes she won't be recognized. But no… no, those footsteps are definitely coming her way. She lets out a flustered sigh.

"...Toph? Toph, is that you?"

"Nope," she says around her mouthful of fruit.

"Don't be ridiculous!"

Then, Toph mutters something disgruntled (and probably obscene) and turns around. "Hi, mom. Dad. Good to see you, I guess. So-to-speak."

She almost feels silly for not having anticipated running into them - of course one of the wealthiest families in the entire Earth Kingdom would be here. But the honest truth is that Toph thinks so infrequently of her parents these days, that they hardly even crossed her mind.

Toph hasn't seen them since the end of the war - she'd returned home briefly, partly to offer an apology for running away, but mostly to tell them she was leaving again. To "find herself," as she'd put it. Her mother had gotten teary-eyed and asked only once for her to stay before accepting Toph's decision. But her father? "No daughter of mine," he'd said, "would dishonor her family this way." He'd told her that if she left, there wouldn't be a home for her if she ever decided to come back.

Now Poppy and Lao Beifong stand, awkward and unsure, before their daughter - Lao keeps mostly to the background, pretending to be uninterested while his wife does all the talking.

"Honey…" Poppy begins, cautious. "Look at you. You're… you're all grown up. Why didn't tell us you'd be here?"

"Well," she deflects, "you didn't tell me you'd be here."

Gently, Poppy says, "I didn't think you'd care to know."

"Then why would I have cared to tell you?"

Toph can hear her father give an unsurprised huff, which prompts her to ball her hands into fists.

Poppy concedes - she doesn't want to fight, even if her daughter is determined to do just that. "Sweetie, it's just… it's been so long, and… since we're all here, perhaps we could spend a little time together."

Toph can feel these awful flutters of hope in her mother's heartbeat, and it makes her feel sick. "I dunno… I mean, you know, I'm really busy with Ambassador Stuff or whatever. Important things to be discussed with Zuko. I mean, Firelord Zuko. I should really stay focused on my work." Toph knows that for a human lie-detector, she is an especially horrible liar. She feels her mother lean forward a little, desperate and insistent.

"Toph, please. I'm trying to reach out to you."

"Why?"

"Because you're our daughter, and we miss you."

At that, she lets out an unamused puff of air, gesturing in Lao's direction with her chin. "We?"

"Yes, we. Lao, tell her." She looks to her husband, glaring expectantly. When he doesn't answer, she urges, "Lao!"

Then, straightening himself, Lao turns on his heels and finally says, "Let's go, Poppy."

Poppy's eyes go wide. "But-"

"I said let's go."

As her father begins to head off, Toph spits a bitter laugh. The sound of her father speaking to Poppy the same way he spoke to his child made her angry. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Go on, mom. Do as you're told."

Poppy gives frantic glances at the workers passing by - people are starting to stare. It's only with great reluctance that she begins to follow her husband as he leaves. "Just think about it, Toph." She urges, hushed and desperate. "Come visit us. Please."

When they're gone, Toph finds herself short of breath - she leans against the table, fending off lightheadedness and fighting back the bitterness that's still welling up inside her. Now she remembers why she'd started blocking out the thought of her parents in the first place. It had taken her a long time to accept that no matter what she did or said, they could never love her the way she wanted or even needed to be loved - with total and complete acceptance for who she is, or may ever choose to be. That isn't something that the Beifongs can ever give her, and life is markedly easier when she convinces herself she's fine without it.

Whatever. When her heartbeat returns to normal, she shrugs it all off and starts scarfing down chunks of watermelon. She figures people can stare if they want - she can feel everyone's bodies slightly angled toward her, just a little paused in mid-action, vaguely preoccupied with her. If seeing someone enjoy some good fruit is really that off-putting to anyone, then that's their own problem. Not hers.

Tonight, she decides, she'll get thoroughly wasted, and pretend this never happened.

…

"So, uh… pretty exciting, huh?" Aang is standing in the center of the room, slightly awkward with his hand rubbing at the back of his neck, while Zuko sits in one of the lounge chairs at the far end, angled just a little away from the Avatar. The regretful truth is that the Avatar and the Firelord haven't exactly been talking lately. Not out of anger or spitefulness, but just because it's… well, awkward.

"What's exciting?" Zuko asks, shifting around in his seat - the cushions are a little lumpy and there's something itchy at the back of his robe, and he can't get comfortable. Or maybe it's the tension in the room that's uncomfortable. He can't tell for sure.

"You know. Kuei abdicating. Having a new Earth Queen… there's never been an Earth Queen, you know."

"Oh. Yeah. Exciting." But Zuko isn't really concerned with whether or not the Earth Kingdom has had a queen, and honestly, Aang isn't, either. They're both too busy trying to ignore the massive elephant-koi in the room, and neither of them wants to be first to bring it up.

Aang paces around, giving critical glances to the landscape murals on the walls. He pretends to be interested in the artwork, but really, he's looking for excuses not to make eye contact. "Has there ever been a… Fire Queen? Firelord-ess? What would you guys even call a Firelord who's a woman?"

"They're just called Firelords." Zuko raises an eyebrow. "And yeah, there's been a few."

"Cool. You know, I was a woman in some of my past lives…"

Zuko's forehead wrinkles before he says, stiff and uneasy, "...That's, uh... nice. I guess."

"Yeah… must be weird for the rest of you, only having one life and all."

"Aang, what the hell?" Zuko's face is twisted into a thoroughly put-off grimace.

"What?" Aang turns his palms outward, innocent and defensive. "I'm just trying to make conversation…"

Then Zuko looks away. "Well, conversation isn't really something you and me seem to do anymore."

At that, Aang lets out a deep sigh and turns his back. He's missed his friend, and hearing him admit that they've slipped apart takes the wind out of him. After a little while he goes to join Zuko on the sofa, though they're both careful not to face one another. "I'm sorry if I've been distant ever since…"

Zuko isn't looking at him, but he can hear him scratching nervously at an elbow.

"It's not just you. I haven't really known what to say to you, either."

"I'm not mad at you or anything. You know that, right?"

"Yeah." But Zuko hadn't known, actually. Really, he's quite relieved to hear Aang say it.

"It's just, you know… Katara."

Zuko has to force his question out around a lump in his throat. "What did she tell you?" He can hear his own heart slamming against his chest. It's not that he's afraid she lied to Aang, or exaggerated anything - he's afraid that she told him the truth.

"Honestly?" Aang says, leaning back against the armrest. "Nothing. Just that I didn't need to know, and that I shouldn't let it get in the way of you and me. I guess I… I guess that was easier said than done, huh?"

"Hm. Yeah." He tries to hide the bitterness in his voice; it's not like he tried to reach out, either.

"You're okay, right?" Aang is cautious. "With me and Katara?"

At that, Zuko has to laugh. Perhaps four or five years ago he'd be sick with jealousy. But now, the lack of animosity he feels toward Aang is the most evidence he has that he's grown up at all over the past few years. Beyond that, often times he feels just as lost and just as ignorant as he was at sixteen. "It's fine," he says, and it's the truth. "Everything is fine. Katara and me… it needed to end." This part is also true, but it's much harder to say. "And you're a lot better for her than I could have ever been, anyways."

Aang finally turns a little toward Zuko - his shoulders are more at ease now, and his eyes, soft and understanding. "Maybe that's not a bad thing for you, though."

"What do you mean?"

"If you weren't the right person for Katara, all that means is Katara wasn't the right person for you, either."

It's a lovely sentiment; one that might have prompted a smile from Zuko if things had ended differently with Katara. So instead, Zuko shrugs, indifferent and resigned. "Doesn't matter. At least, not right now. Anyways, if not talking to me makes things easier between the two of you, I can deal with that."

With tender eyes, Aang says, "Hopefully that won't be a problem anymore."

"All I'm saying is… I'll never be upset with you for choosing her over me." Then hastily, he adds, "Not that either of us would ever make you choose. Just. You know. No pressure."

So Aang gives an awkward, appreciative smile. "No pressure," he agrees.

Zuko had been about to say something else - something about how he's glad they've finally talked things out, or maybe just glad that they've talked at all - when there's a rap upon the door. "Pardon the interruption," a servant calls from the other side, "but we're ready for you now, Firelord Zuko."

He suddenly feels heavy with dread, shoulders sinking before he pushes himself up to stand. "Well. Here goes nothing."

"It'll be fine." Aang insists as he stands, too, giving the Firelord a spirited pat on the back. "You know what they say. Imagine everyone in their underwear."

…

When Zuko takes his place at the podium, he is not imagining everyone in their underwear. The hall is enormous - long and wide and filled to capacity with many hundreds, if not upwards of a thousand finely-dressed Earth Kingdom citizens. They watch him take the stand in silence and with scrutinizing eyes, and Firelord Zuko's throat is burning with dryness. He worries what his voice might sound like when he opens his mouth.

There's a cough in the audience, followed by another further toward the back, then a few more scattered throughout the hall as people begin to shift uncomfortably.

"Earth Kingdom citizens…" He begins, and the way his voice echoes back at himself startles him - does he really sound like that? With sweaty palms, he grips the edges of the podium. "I am honored, and deeply humbled, to be here with you today, celebrating the closing of one reign, and the beginning of another. These changes in our world are very dear to me, and I know that with the help of Earth Queen Kuai, and the wisdom and support of her esteemed father, King Kuei, we can continue down this path of growth and peace."

But the audience - those pale, made-up faces - seem skeptical at best. Some don't seem to be paying much attention to his words at all, opting instead to wince at the sight of him, or whisper to the person sitting next to them.

It's been no secret over the past few years how reluctant many Earth Kingdom citizens have been to accept allyship with the Fire Nation. Some claimed they couldn't be asked to trust a boy-king with the wellbeing of their kingdom. Others now insist that it would take more than five years and a new ruler for them to even consider respecting the Fire Nation. And others still, are blatant and unapologetic about the fact that they simply will not be moved to bow to the son of Ozai.

Firelord Zuko is now struggling to focus beyond the skeptical stares, and glares of judgement. He glances from his notes on the podium, to the audience, to his notes, and back again, as he goes on about peace and togetherness and tolerance.

In the front row, Katara's brow is wrinkled with concern, and it hardly helps Zuko to know that she's probably worried he'll screw up, or stutter, or choke. Beside her sits Sokka and Suki, both doing a sub-par job at hiding their sympathetic looks. He feels a bead of sweat slide down the blade of his nose, which he impulsively moves to wipe away with the back of his hand.

But on the other side of Katara, sits Toph. Her opaque eyes stare wide ahead of her, a tiny smile upon her lips, either unaware of or uncaring about the way Zuko is being received. Whatever the case, those empty eyes seem to be exactly what he needs to get through this. The relief is almost instantaneous as he looks at her, feeling the tightness in his throat release. His voice comes out stronger, now, and his grip on the podium relaxes.

That smile on Toph's face grows wider - it might have been imperceptible to everyone else, but for her, the improvement in Zuko's demeanor is loud and clear.

In this tiny, secret, shared moment between he and Toph, Zuko decides that even if he can't yet rally the enthusiasm of the Earth Kingdom, he can at least manage to be proud of his own efforts.

…

If Toph has her way, there won't be any whisky left to share. It's late in the evening after the reception, and she's drinking straight from a bottle, lounging in her room while fiddling with her meteorite bracelet to pass the time. Downstairs, the gang has gotten together to chat over light snacks and tea. Toph had opted out, though, under the guise that she's exhausted, and not feeling incredibly well. It isn't a total lie, though. She is tired, and she does feel a little sick in the head.

The footsteps she hears coming down the hall are ones she's been anticipating for a while, and she announces, "Come in," even before he knocks. With a creek the door pushes open and closed again. "I was wondering when you were gonna come check up on me." Toph says after downing another few gulps.

"Am I late?" Zuko leans on the door, arms crossed.

"Right on time for me to tell you to get lost." Even as she says it, though, she's scooting to one side of the bed to make room for him.

"Nah, I think I'll stay." He settles in beside her with a sigh, reaching for another whiskey bottle on the night stand. "Drinking alone? Even you only do that when you're upset."

"I'm fine. Your speech went well, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Thanks to you. Now what's up?"

She should have known he wouldn't let her get away with deflecting. On most days, she's glad when he pries past her attempts at hedging around issues, but not today. She's about to take another long swig before pausing with the bottle in front of her lips and moving to set it down. Then after a sigh, "...I ran into my parents today."

"Oh…"

"Yeah. It kinda knocked the wind out of me."

"I take it it didn't go well?"

Then she shrugs. "...Mom wants me to come visit."

"That's good, right?"

"I guess, but… her and dad weren't exactly on the same page about it. I dunno if I'm gonna go."

They're quiet for a little while, and Zuko takes a sip of whisky as he settles back against the headboard. He thinks this is the first time in a few years Toph has so much as spoken of her parents; it was a topic they delicately and dutifully avoided at all costs. For Toph, there was never much that was off-limits for conversation, but the Beifong family was often forbidden.

"...I think you should go for it." He tries to sound casual.

"What for? What's gonna be different this time around?"

"Nothing, maybe. Or everything. Look, all I know is that if I ever had the chance to even try to make things better with my own family, I'd take it. If things don't work out, well… at least you can be proud of your own efforts. At least you'll know you did all you could."

Her arms are crossed tight and stubborn over her chest and with her mouth pressed into a line, she picks up her whiskey again and finally grumbles, "...You're such a fucking dork. I'll think about it, okay?"

"That's all I ask."

And at that, they clink their bottles together.

...

Author's Note: Please don't kill me. :P I know I took forever on this, but I ran into a crapton of issues these past few months, and I've been hella busy with Life Things. Y'all know how it is. But the good news is that chapter 3 will hopefully come along much faster, and that in this adaptation, Toph will be getting a MUCH more dignified plotline than what she had in the drabbles. Hellyeah!

Thanks again for all the support, guys, and thanks SO MUCH for your patience! I hope you enjoyed reading. :)

So much love,

Firelord Frowny.