Chapter 24: Macavity The Mystery Cat
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Of course, Macavity has to show up!
But, CRAP! This time I ACTUALLY saw him, he was out in the open! Each time he luaghed I cowered into Mom's fur, and she held me close and tried to keep me calm. Suddenly, everyone screamed. I spun around and screamed myself.
Macavity was right beside us.
He lifted his paw into the air, and suddenly my mind blackened. I didn't think anything, anything at all....When I came to, Macavity was already gone. And so was Old Dueteronomy. "Where'd he go?" I asked, panicked. Munkustrap's eyes got big. "Macavity took Dueteronomy!" he cried.
Everyone screamed. And then, as if we could make it better, we all ran into the junk. I jumped up onto a high point of the pile so I could find Bombalurina. Huh, wait? Demeter and Bombalurina were standing all alone in the clearing. They began to circle, tracing, and Bombalurina climbed up onto the tire. Demeter began to russle her headfur rapildy, but then she looked up and began to...sing?
Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called the Hidden Paw
For he's a master criminal who can defy the law
What? "Dueteronomy just got kidnapped and she's SINGING about him?!" I heard myself cry. I sounded angry, but I was also curious. Suddenly, I felt myself get pushed to the side. Plato was next to me. "Shut up, I want to hear this," Plato muttered to me.
Then I began thinking. Demeter probably wanted everyone to know how much of a monster Macavity really was. Plato, espiecally, wanted to know, since he was his son. Everytime I thought about that I felt really bad for Plato.
So, I lied down and watched as Demeter danced.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
Well, Macavity was a big criminal. Dad told me he had gone nuts when Munkustrap was made protecter instead of him. Go figure.
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law
He breaks the law of gravity
What? I was confused. I thought he just hypnotized people and made lightening. Could he fly?
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
"What's a fakir?" I heard Tumblebrutus whisper somewhere below me. "I have no idea," Alonzo whispered back.
And when you reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
The bastard did seem to have a good time enjoying being caught. Demeter now began twirling her hands up into the air, to go with her next few lines:
You may seek him in the basement
You may look up in the air
Out of curiousity, I looked into the air. I could be stupid, I know. Suddenly, Demeter cowered and fell to her knees. She looked up and almost spat out the next few lines.
But I tell you once and once again
Macavity's not there!
She shot up again, a look of terror on her face. Suddenly, another voice filled the air:
Macavity's a ginger cat
He's very tall and thin
I recognized that voice! I had almost forgotten Bombalurina, lying on the tire. She was walking down it's steps, her arms moving over her body in a sensuous manner. Which seemed a little innapropiate, considering they were singing of Macavity.
And yet, I could not stop watching her, I barely noticed Victoria, Tantomile, Electra, and Jemima appearing at the edge of the clearing to get a better look.
You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in
Did something happen between her and Macavity once?, I briefly wondered.
His brow is deeply lined in thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed
Well, doesn't Mac sound just lovely?
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake!
Okay, he sounds CREEPY is what he sounds like.
Macavity, Macavity
There's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
Once again, I was listening to words I couldn't understand. Dang, I thought my mate would understand that just because I sound smart doesn't mean I'm THAT smart. Depravity, I could guess that meant he deprived people of....the right to live or something.
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then
Macavity's not there!
Hey, the other queens are getting awfully close. Cassandra, Etcetera, and Teazer all showed up as well.
He's outwardly respectable
Now, when Demeter sang that, I saw her turn her face, and she seemed to look directly at Plato. What, was she trying to make Plato's dad seem not so bad to him? Good luck with that!
I know he cheats at cards
WHHHHHAAAAATTT?!?!?!? Cheats....at CARDS?!
Now I now, Macavity is the most evil creature to walk this planet.
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's
Whoa...Demeter was now copying Bombalurina's sexy movements, shaking her butt. You know, I never noticed that Demeter had such a sleek, slender, and sexy body...
HEY, WHAT AM I THINKING?
Bombalurina is my mate. Now, Pouncival, watch HER. Only HER.
And when the larder's looted my mate sang.
Or the jewel cases rifled Demeter sang too.
Or when the milk is missing Bombalurina added. Why would Macavity steal milk, I wondered for a moment.
Or another Peke's been stifled! Yeesh, break my ears open, would you Demeter?!
Or the greenhouse glass is broken Bombalurina added.
And the trellis past repair
Thank you for being quiet again, Dem! And I'm sure Cetty and Cassie agree with me...
There's the wonder of the thing:
Macavity's not there
Now, all the Queens were dancing along with Bomba and Dem. It was cool...
Macavity, Macavity!
There's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place
Macavity wasn't there!
Demeter and Bombalurina make a good duo. It's nice to know their sisters. I wonder if Demeter would now be my sister-in-law....
And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
Oh, yeah, Macavity's got people working for him. Poor bastards.
I might mention Mungojerrie
WHAT??!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?
I might mention Griddlebone
Never heard of her.
But still, HOW DARE THEY! Sure, Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie got into a bad mix with Macavity a few years ago, but Dad and Munkus got them out of that! It's not fair to constantly bring it up on them!
I hate it too. Jellylorum once accused them of being with Macavity after Demeter went missing and they had been gone for a few days, and I had snapped and attacked her. It was an awful moment. (As it turns out, Demeter had just gone on vacation with her humans, and Bombalurina had forgotten to tell everyone).
Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations
The Napoleon of Crime!
Bombalurina appeared to notice me and she grinned. We seemed to grin at eachother a lot. And then, she continued on, the music pounding up. Oh, the tension was building and building and building, AAAAAAAAND:
Macavity, Macavity!
There's no one like Macavity!
He's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then
And then they began to do the shaking thing over and over again.
Macavity
Macavity
Macavity!
Macavity!
Could you have said his name enough times?
When a crime's discovered then
Macavity's not there!
You know, even though it was a song about the man who just kidnapped our leader, it was a pretty good performance.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Done!