A massive thank you to Beywriter, 13Lulu's, Taco, Lamanth, Moonlight Memories, Petalwhisker X Fireheart, Purple-Kissed-Wishes, OnlyNotReally, StZen and zekesbabe for your reviews!

We are ... the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

No parent should have to bury their child. I'm sure that's been said so many times before that it's lost all meaning for those who haven't experienced it, but it's a raw truth for my husband and I. A raw, gaping hole where our hearts used to be.

My little girl. My darling, darling Hilary.

I'm jolted from my painful thoughts by my husband jabbing me in the ribs and hissing, "There they are!"

Yes, there they are, the boys who Hilary sacrificed her life for. Arms just touching - close enough for comfort, far apart enough for decency. Hubby's bitter, hateful towards them - blames them. I don't; how could I? We've known Ray all his life. He was Hilary's friend from the age of four, always over our house "to practise his speaking", this bright, happy - girlish, yes, very - little boy. So when he turned out to be gay, I wasn't surprised. Happy for him, when he found a boyfriend in Kai, almost as much as I was for my girl when she found her Tyson.

But I look at them; these two full-grown muscular boy-men and I can't help but wonder why Hilary felt the need to protect them. Surely ... it should have been the other way around? I know the attacker was a drunken, violent homophobe who was armed and gagging to, quote, "make the fags bleed", but couldn't they have dealt with it themselves?

Why did she have to come out of the library at that exact moment? Why did she always have to care? Why did Ray not tell her to get away, run?

I've heard recently that the boys found her murderer and beat him until his skull cracked.

"Why the fuck couldn't you have done that twenty-two nights ago?"

My fingers dig deeply into the cold earth at her gravestone and I don't realise I've shouted my thoughts aloud until hubby tightens his grip and shouts hoarsely at Kai and Ray,

"Get lost! Go on! You can't apologise now!"

Ray finds my eyes and I see his are swollen and bloodshot with purple bruised shadows much like my own, before Kai gives my husband a filthy look and walks away at speed. With a broken little smile that tugs at my heartstrings despite my confused feelings of blame, Ray turns away. I watch him chase his lover and they walk off, arm in arm.

The hole in my chest blazes with pain again.

Why do they live when Hilary can't?

Oh sugar, only two more weeks until I actually have to write again ... ugh, got the hard ones left, too. (sobs theatrically) Writer's block ftw, hey?

Reviews?

xIlbx