Sejuani and Ashe sat down in the back corner of "Le fizz". Even back here it looks elegant. "So, what is it that you want to talk to me about?" Sejuani asked.

"Well," Ashe started "I feel so empty inside. Do you think I need a servant?"

Sejuani though for a moment. "No, Ashe, you need something more than that."

"A flashlight?"

"What?"

"What?"

"No," Sejuani laughed, "what you need is a Russian male order bride. Check it out. Oh Vladislav!" A man walked in the restaurant wearing a tuxedo. "How 'bout you give me a nice back rub," Sejuani ordered. "These servants will do anything I tell them to. The only bad thing is that you have to marry them."

"Ya ne govoryu po-angliyski," the man replied.

"Damn it, he always make up this excuse!" Sejuani was impatient. "You just take your hands and rub my shoulder." She grabbed the man's hand and put it on her shoulders.

Ashe stared at the man. "Help me," the man whispered to Ashe in his best English voice."She is bad woman. Call police." Ashe just stared at the man.

"Yea, I think I do need one of those," Ashe walked out of the restaurant.

"Now it's time for my leg waxing," Sejuani put her leg on the table. "I want my leg to be nice and shiny." The man grabbed a gun and shot him self. "Oh, dang it! That's the fourth one this week," Sejuani said.

Wukong was standing beside her table. "Ehem, I will have to ask you to leave."

Back in her room, Ashe pulled out her League-phone and turned on Seeri. "Seeri, I want you to order me a mail order bride."

"Did you mean mail order bride or male order bride?"

Ashe look at the screen,"Duh, mail order bride."

The next day

There was a knock on Ashe's door. There was a man dressed as a woman in front of Ashe's door. Ashe opened the door for the man.

"Hello my love," the woman said.

"Tryndamere?" Ashe was shocked.

"No, my name is Svetlana now," she replied.

"I don't care. We broke up a long time ago," Ashe was not buying it.

"Too bad, I come in," Tryndamere came in the room. "I stay with you now."

Sejuani was calling Lissandra," No, I don't want to go to the movies with you. Hold on, I'm getting another call."

"Sejuani, come over here," Ashe said. "He is giving me his weird Russian food. No Svetlana, I don't want any of your damn chicken pot pies."

Sejuani walked to Ashe's room. Ashe was getting a pedicure from Tryndamere a.k.a Svetlana.

"You like pedophile?"

"Get off me!" Ashe pushed Tryndamere away.

Sejuani laughed at Ashe, "Looks like you are in quite a pickle."

"Help me get rid of him," Ashe pleaded.

"The only way to get rid of him is to challenge him to a Poovi Dipev."

Ashe walked up to Tryndamere who is folding the bed-sheets. "I challenge you to a poopy diaper," Ashe challenged.

"Uh," Sejuani chimed in, "she means Poovi Dipev."

"Get ready to be lose!" Tryndamere threatened.

"Damn, his grammar sucks," Sejuani whispered to Ashe.

Ashe, Tryndamere, and Sejuani walked into the auditorium. Tryndamere was the first on the stage. "I will be singing "Dark Horse" from Katy Perry," he said.

Three hours later

"There's no turning back," Tryndamere finally ended.

Ashe looked at Sejuani. "Are you ready to do this?" Ashe asked. The two ran up onto the stage and started break-dancing. Tryndamere a.k.a. Svetlana was enraged. "I cannot be lose!" He screamed. "They cannot send me back to Mother-Russia!" If I kill the two of them, that means I win. Tryndamere grabbed a gun and shot bot Ashe and Sejuani. He laughed maniacally, but before he could continue celebrating, Ashe and Sejuani jumped up form behind him.

"Ha," Sejuani laughed,"in you ugly-ass face!"

"You shot our stunt doubles," Ashe laughed. Kennen and Shen were the ones that got shot and had to go to the ship's hospital.

"I cannot believe I am lose," Tryndamere moped.

"Don't worry Tryndamere," Ashe said with an evil tone and stared at Tryndamere. "You can stay. On one condition."

Ashe led Tryndamere and Sejuani to the indoor beach. Ashe took a water balloon and threw it at Tryndamere's face.

"I love being on the ship," Tryndamere remarked.

"I love throwing water balloons," Ashe remarked.

"I love peeing in water balloon," Sejuani said.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

Ashe tossed a water balloon at Tryndamere's face. Woops.