I always say yes.
Ever since I was a young girl.
I've always said yes.
I never batted one eye, I never thought it was strange.
I wanted to always make everyone happy. I wanted to do what they told me to.
I always wanted to be liked, or loved.
I couldn't handle things like rejecting others, or even having ill will towards someone else.
I could never picture myself ever going stray. I want to be everyone idea of charming.
I wanted to be everyone's everything. I wanted to be loved by everyone.
Blessed with my looks and adapted attitude, I was sure in the back of my mind it was all okay.
In the back of my mind I knew what I was doing, I didn't want to come to terms with it.
Anything to be liked.
That's why, I'll always say yes.
My name is Roll, I'm currently 21 years old. I go to a university in my city and I'm currently, what looks like almost late for class because of this rapid snow storm. I thought I could walk through it, I was wrong. I guess I was just being stubborn. I try and cover my mouth with my scarf but the wind just pierces through, I shiver, would I even make it another block without freezing? Who knew.
But still I pressed on, I didn't want to be late, I'd never missed a day of class. Never it was one of my rules. Why would I waste an education that I've been given from all the hard work I've done as a high schooler, nuh uh not me. My mother always said to attend everyday, miss a day for nothing, so here I was battling the snow.
I felt like I was on the right path, just two more blocks till I got to the building, I was going to make it. If I didn't freeze to death.
Still the wind blew like nothing else I'd seen before and I thought I would literally freeze, the snow was in my hair, the snow was trying to get in my eyes. It picked up and and pretty soon I couldn't see anything but this snow. Suddenly I saw a car, it stopped right where I was and the window came down.
What I saw was a man that I'd thought I'd seen before, he looked young, older than me but still young and he had on sunglasses, I only assumed it was because of all the snow that was going down, maybe he was blinded by it or something, but for whatever reason this guy had stopped in front of me. I look up and his face kind of looks concerned.
I speak timidly, because for whatever reason, to me he seems intimidating.
"H-Hi?" I say outloud. He smiles at me.
"Do you need a ride? It's super crazy outside." He asks. I nod to myself, thanking whatever force brought this man to me. Then I nod back at him.
"Yes please." I answer running towards the car and getting in the front seat. When I get in the heat is on and I have a blistful sigh of relief. It was terrible outside.
I looked at the time on top of the car radio and I saw that I was completely and utterly late for class. The walk had taken way more time than usual. My sigh of bliss turned into one of defeat. My new aquantience looked over at me. He tilted his head.
"What's wrong erm... sorry I don't know your name yet." He said scratching his head like he wasn't prepared enough or something. I smiled at him and answered.
"My name is Roll and I just realized that I'm incredibly late to class. It's terrible. I've never missed a day, or been late." I explained. He nodded.
"Ah...well do you still want to go?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I'd be so embarassed if I showed up later." I said honestly. He nodded.
"Okay, well where do you want me to take you then?" He asked. I shrugged. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to just go back home because I felt like it'd be a extreme waste, I didn't want to go to class because I didn't want to be embarassed, I didn't want to go to the library or anything else because it'd look like I was skipping. I didn't respond and suddenly my kind savior spoke.
"Well erm do you wanna go get some icecream?" He asked. I did. I seriously did. I nodded to him. He laughed.
"Aren't you gonna ask my name?" He asked. I blushed.
"Hah- yes, yes I am." I said.
"It's Blues and it's nice to meet you Roll. I've seen you around before and I always wanted to tell you how lovely you carry yourself, you're always so polite and nice." He said genuinely. I was flattered. He liked me. He thought I was pleasant, this was what I wanted.
"Thank you." I responded.
"No, thank you, so many people forget how to be charming and just simply nice. You go out of your way to please others." Blues said without any pauses.
Suddenly I felt like that hit too close to home. I blinked a few times, surely he was just a stranger, I didn't know him so why? Why did he just break down my person in these three minutes.
"H-How do you know."
"Don't ask how. Ask why." He said with a smile. I felt drawn to him for some reason at that point. My eyes began to get heavy, I felt a good smell in the air, I got calmer, so much calmer.
"W-What's that smell... it's so good." I said drowsily. Blues looked at me sort of concerned.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to take you back to my place?" He asked seriously all of a sudden. I nodded.
"Yes please." I responded. Soon after that I'd passed out.
The only things I could hear was the low murmur of the music Blues was playing out of his radio, it was somekind of soul jazz.
When I woke up I was in a small living room with yellow walls and my coat was on the coffee table. I heard the same tune playing from when I passed out. He must really like that song. Blues walked into the room and I got up quickly I felt sorry for some reason.
"I'm sorry!" I said. He shook his head.
"Hey it's okay, but I brought you back here because I wanted to have a serious talk with you." He said. I was a bit confused.
He sat down next to me. Then he handed me a cup of tea, I sipped it once and it wasn't too hot so I kept on.
"Now I could make an example out of you, and point out your flaws like I do all the other kids I come across but you know what? You don't need that. You always say yes. I know it, you always say yes. That scares me more than anything I've come across, someone who always says yes. What if someone asks you to do something that goes against your moral code and you do it all because you want to be liked, is being liked that important to you?" He said looking me in the eyes.
Suddenly a tear fell down my face.
"I want...I want to be liked...I just want to fit in...I just want to be..." I try and get out but I stop. Blues shakes his head.
"You want to be perfect. You can't handle any kind of negitivity. It's okay. You can't please everyone." He said looking away as if giving me a layer of respect for my tears, I don't know why I was crying. I had no idea.
"Say no. Tell everyone no." He said.
"I can't..." I responded.
"What was that?"
"No, I don't want to lose everything I built up. I did all of this so I could live like I do now. Everyone loves me, I won't say no because of my own feelings. No." I said. He smiled.
"That's real cute, you told me no. But I know alot about you. I can tell you everytime you've honestly needed to say no." He said suddenly. He pulled out a sheet of paper and started reading.
"June 28th of 3 years ago. You lost your virginity to a certain boyfriend even though you weren't ready, I'm not gonna say his name but it hurt you really bad. You cried for weeks after he used you and then left you. You slept with him because you wanted him to like you. All you could've said was no Roll. He took something from you you'll never get back. Innocence." He said.
Tears streemed down. I couldn't say a word. He started to read again.
"April 16th of -" I stopped him.
I couldn't do it. I knew, that was a day I never wanted to think about again. I stopped him. He looked down. Tears still streamed.
"I'm sorry. I really am. You need this, you're a nice girl. You've learned this lesson before, but you need to practice it. You've gotta say no Roll, you've gotta." He said. I nodded. I knew and I knew time and time again.
This was a wake up call I had to change, I knew I had to.
I sunk into the couch and cried. Blues looked away once again, as if unsure on how to comfort me. Suddenly I feel like I need to thank him.
"Thank you." I said collecting me.
"You're welcome...and I'm sorry for this...but I was really worried about you." Blues said.
"Can I come see you again?" I asked suddenly. He nodded.
"I'm always here in the mornings and afternoons, I'm always gone at night. Stop by anytime there's a key above my door." He said.
I hugged him. Blues was flustered. He felt like a older brother, I felt like I could trust him.
Soon after that he drove me home, and then told me not to get into strangers' cars. I felt better about everything.
I went back to see Blues alot. I found out about how he goes around and teaches lessons to people younger than him so that they don't end up like him. That's when I noticed that Blues has a problem of his own. Suddenly I felt like I needed to to talk to the rest of these people he's helped.
He's fixed our problems, so can we perhaps fix his?
END.
Frog has been stupidly busy lately. This one is like bruh say no. I know alot of people who can't say no. This is for them. Not on a serious scale like this. Anywyas, I'll try to finish this one up soon. Sorry for that delay yo. It's been real out here. I'll try and post again tomorrow night maybe? Maybe?
We'll see.
Peace.
-FROGZ