"So where do you think this Nympho hangs out then?" Said Harry
"I'm not sure," Ron replied,shaking his head. "High street maybe? Or the ice-cream stall at the front of the pier. Apparantly right, she comes up to you and asks for a "lick of your cornetto", it means she's offering a cock-in-mouth situation. It's like a code."
"Brilliant" Snapped Hermione. She was really,really jealous. She loved Ron, and everybody knew it, except himself. She had tried everything to make her feelings clear, however he just wasn't reading the signs.
Just then, Michelle the beautiful girl from the group walked over to them all, turned to Neville and said "Oh, Neville, bit embaressing really, but is it all right if i sit with you at lunch, because i don't have many friends." Her porcelin cheeks flushed pink, and Harry, Ron and Seamus raised their eye brows. Why on earth would she want to hang out with him?
"God..er.."
Looking over at his friends, who nodded and smiled in encouragment, he said "yes, ofcourse"
"You could sit on my lap if you like" Ron murmered, he didn't intend her to hear, however, she did.
"No thankyou" She snarled, "And i just think that you should know, that thing you did on the bus was really sad and pathetic, and not funny." Then turning back to Neville, she smiled broadley and said "I'll see you later"
Neville was grinning from ear to ear, and Ron looked dissapointed.
----
It was lunch time, and the gang were sitting at the lunch table. Neville kept taking nervous glances around the crowded canteen, looking for the beautiful Michelle, but there was no sign of her.
"Looks like you wont be getting off with Michelle then." Hermione said smugly. She was happy that Michelle had declined his offer.
"Who cares? Michelle is just a little girl, I get enough of them back home. I want a woman, and Me and Harry are going to do down the pier during the free time to see if we can find her." He said back.
"She is fit though, that Michelle" Seamus chipped in.
Looking mortified, Neville rounded on him; "What?"
"Michelle is fit,isn't she?"
"I saw her first!" Neville argued.
"What, I'm just saying that she is fit!" Seamus retorted.
"Hi guys!" Michelle had walked over, and was smiling at them all.
"Oh, you could sit down here!" Said Seamus, who moved along the bench to create enough room for her to sit down. Neville threw him a filthy look.
"Oh, I'm just off actually." Ron said, getting up to walk away.
"No!" Michelle yelled. Ron turned to look back at her,surprised. "Don't leave on my account."
"No, it's not that, it's just that i've got to go see a man about a dog, and a woman about a pussy" he said with a cheeky wink.
There was a small laugh from Harry.
"I do know what that means." Michelle said bitterly.
"Right...Are you coming Harry?"
Harry got up and left the canteen behind Ron. Michelle took the pro-offered seat beside Seamus and Neville turned red. Hermione, feeling a bit awkward, ran after Harry and Ron.
"Sorry about those two." He smiled, talking about Harry and Ron.
"It's all right" She said calmy. "I've got a younger brother so i'm used to it, well actually he's 8 so he's a bit more mature like, but yano."
Seamus gave a nervous giggle, and Neville, desperate to get her attention said loudly in an odd, high pitched voice; "fiesty one, you are!"
"What?" Michelle said with a look of utter confusion on her face.
"Fiesty one, you are!" Neville repeated, in the same high pitched voice.
"Why are you talking like that?" Michelle said coldy. Seamus watched in amusment.
There was an akward silence before Neville replied.."It was yoda...I was doing impressions of him on the coach?"
"Oh!" Michelle smiled, remembering. "Is that what that is? I thought you had some kind of problem" She said, turning pink in the cheeks. There was another giggle from Seamus. Neville was going to kill him!
"Yeah, good one." Neville said, trying to make a joke of it.
"Oh, I meant to ask actually, would one of you two mind hanging out with me in the free time, you know 'cause i've got no mates and all that?"
"I will!" Seamus said broadly.
WHAT THE HELL? It was obvious Neville liked her, what the hell was Seamus doing muscling in.
"Oh...I don't think you can, actually." Neville said, sadly.
"Why not?" Seamus asked.
"Yeah, why not?" Asked Michelle.
"Probably because of what i mentioned earlier..?" Neville said leaning towards him.
"What...Ron fucking an old woman?" Seamus asked.
"Oops!" Neville replied with a quick glance at Michelle. "No, the other thing."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, mate" Seamus said, genuinly confused. "Look, Neville, don't be a dick. Michelle doesn't know many people."
"I'm not being a dick, Seamus" Neville replied slowly through gritted teeth, "I'm just saying, who am I going to hang out with?"
Just then, Ernie Mcmillian slowly walked over.
"Proffessor Snape said I must pair up with you, because I'm not very good at directions and I might get lost." He said, looking at Neville.
"Right!" Neville shouted, getting up out of his seat angrily, Ernie followed.
So Seamus was hanging out with the lovely Michelle whilst Neville had to stop a fat kid from wondering into the sea. Lucy and her friend, Jal, had just walked past the table where Seamus and Michelle were sitting, she looked over jealously, then walked back off with her friend, who looked concerned. Meanwhile, Ron was searching for the rarest of beasts, a sexy middle aged woman.
----
"Hurry up, Ron, I've got to get back to help Flitwick out in 15 minutes!"
"Alright, I'll try this one" He said, indicating a middle aged woman, slightly plump and short, with her faded blonde hair scraped back into a pony tale. She had obviously just given birth, as she was pushing a small baby in a pram.
"Excuse me" Ron said to her.
"Yes?" She said with a smile.
"Um, we're doing a survey for school, would you mind if i asked you a few questions?" Ofcourse, they weren't really doing a survey, Ron just thought if he asked her a few innapropriate questions, she could just turn out to be the old nympho ice cream lady.
"Will it take long?"
"It can take as long as you like" Harry said, nodding his head up and down in appreciation of this woman, and smiling broadly.
"Sorry?" She said, looking at Harry appauled.
"Nah!" Ron said, trying to get her attention back. "First question. What method of transport did you get in to town today?"
"I drove" she said questionably.
"And, how often do you use public transport?"
"Rarely" She said, shaking her head, confused.
"And...do you wear like, stockings and that.?" He said,flicking his eyes between the paper and her, trying not to make eye sight with her. Harry shoved his fist in his mouth to stop him from laughing.
"Is that about transport?" Said the stocky woman.
"It's just the questions written down....er, one last one..."
----
Hermione had just come out of WaterStones, the local book shop. She had went in to see if she could find anything interesting to read whilst Her friends were looking for people to get off with, but there was nothing that tickled her fancy. As she left the shop, she looked over in the direction she had last left Ron and Harry, and she saw that they were still questioning middle aged women in the hope of finding this non-exsistant nympho-maniac. Just then, the small woman raised her hand and slapped Ron in the face.
"Ouch" She said. Then she laughed hard. She had needed that. It served Ron right for looking for older women.
Seamus had just popped up behind her. She turned and smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then, Neville came walking over too, with Ernie lagging behind him.
"HELP-ME!" he yelled, seizing Hermione's robes. "He's an idiot! Can't you look after him instead,Hermione, please?"
"Hah! No chance."
"Alright,mate?" Said Seamus to Neville. "Michelle's just gone to get a drink."
"Erm, I thought you were supposed to be interested in Lucy?" Neville replied.
"Michelle is a mate, isn't she? Easy to talk to."
"Did she mention me at all?" Said Neville with high hopes.
"Nope. She said she thought i was really good looking!" Seamus smiled. "I was NOT expecting that."
Neville smiled regardless. "This is a bit weird, 'cause i really like her but I think she might like you..."
"Right well, if she fancies me then maybe i should just go for it!"
"Perhaps" Said Neville sarcastically, "except i'm saying that I like her."
"I should go for it though..."
"Any thoughts on the me liking her part?" Neville said angrily.
"Oh..." Seamus replied. "But she is fit, so you can see my point" he said.
"Not really!" Neville was getting angrier by the minute. Seamus was supposed to be his friend.
"Yeah, but you know how it is mate."
"Nope! Not at all!"
"Look, let's just see what happens later at the dorm, she might not even like either of us."
"Yep, but no hard feeling if she goes for me,eh?" Said Neville. He was getting calmer now.
"Oh, I'm not worried about that" Seamus smiled.
Neville got angry again. Seamus was a bastard,alright. And then he walked off, forgetting about Ernie, and made his way back to the hostel they were staying in. He had a plan. He was going to get Michelle and Seamus would be devastated. But all's fair in love and war, yes?