Edward continued to smile and laugh, but deep inside, he was a melting pot of emotions.
He couldn't decide what was going on inside of him, but he chose not to show any of those feelings.
No, he wasn't going to let what he was feeling spoil the remaining time he had left with his family and friends. That was the reason why he consciously made the decision not to tell anyone about the horrible news. All that would do would bring everybody's moods down, if they even believed him, of course.
Well, he did decide to tell someone, but he didn't do it for himself.
"Jasper," Edward called when his friend entered the room. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Sure. Hang on," Jasper removed his brand new hat and scarf, hanging them on a coat rack. "How's it going?"
"Bella isn't with you?"
"No she has some stuff to do at Heaven, I think." After some careful thought, Jasper had decided not to continue working at the café. Working with people who thought he was still Edward just seemed awkward to him. He was hunting for another job, but with Edward's financial help, he wasn't that desperate for one at the moment.
"Okay. That's good." Edward nodded. He took a deep breath, and Jasper immediately could tell that something was up.
"Is there a reason why you didn't want Bella here?"
"Yeah, actually. I wanted to speak to you alone. My mom decided to have lunch with the country club today, too, so...yeah."
"Edward, what's going on?" Jasper asked warily.
"I'm going to die," Edward told him with a straight face. "I haven't told anyone but you, so I'd appreciate it if you don't tell Bella."
"Wait," Jasper stared at his face. "You're being serious?"
"I wish I wasn't."
"What the fuck? How could that be? You finished your task – you're talking to me right now! And I'm pretty sure your doctors made sure there wasn't anything wrong with you."
"It's just my time to go," Edward smiled dejectedly. "Sche – Maria. She came to talk to me a few nights ago to tell me."
"But that isn't fair!" Jasper shook his head. "After all you went through to get your life back..."
"It fucking sucks," Edward agreed. "It really, really fucking sucks. But what can I do? I don't even know how I'm going to die."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I want you to take care of Bella for me," Edward didn't bother holding back his emotions anymore. "And my family. Keep them safe. Please."
"I don't think she'll let me," Jasper said quietly. "She loves you, Edward."
"I know," Edward sighed. "Just...promise me you won't let her harm herself. I know Bella's too smart to do something as stupid as that but...just in case. And don't say anything to her about this conversation, okay? Not even when I'm gone. Swear to me, Jasper."
"I-I promise."
"Thank you," Edward smiled at him again. "You've given me more than I can ever hope for at this point."
...
The last days Edward had, he decided to spend with Bella. Jasper understood his desire to be alone with her, and he tried his best to use divertive tactics on Esme so that they could have their privacy.
Today, his techniques had worked well since he managed to convince her and Carlisle to join him for lunch at Heaven.
"This is nice," Edward murmured as his fingers played with Bella's hair. "I wish I can stay with you like this forever."
"We'll have to get up, eventually," Bella giggled. At Edward's insistence, she was lying with him in his bed with his arms wrapped around her. "I'm not hurting you am, I? I don't think this kind of set-up is allowed."
"Screw the rules," Edward told her. He pressed a kiss to her hair. "And you can never hurt me. Holding you in my arms like this feels amazing."
"Mm," Bella hummed. "You know, I never thought we'd ever be here."
"What, in a dreary hospital room where I'm in a lame gown, and you're looking pretty as ever?" Edward joked.
"No, of course not!" Bella swatted his chest playfully. "I was talking about being...together. I dreamed about it all the time, but I never thought it would become a reality." She kissed his heart over his clothes and skin. "Thank you for coming back to me."
But I have to leave you again. And this time, I can't come back to you.
"I love you, Bella," Edward said, choosing to say that instead of what he was really thinking. "You are my life now."
"You're the same for me," Bella lifted her head slightly so she could look at him properly. The kiss she gave afterwards felt like an affirmation to her, but that wasn't the case for Edward.
For him, it was goodbye.
...
"Scheduler?" Edward opened his eyes blearily to his guardian standing over his bed. He felt confused at first, but comprehension sunk in fast. "Is it time?"
"Yes," Scheduler whispered. "I'm sorry, Edward."
"Stop apologizing," Edward scolded her lightly as he swung his legs over the bed. "It isn't your fault. It's just...time."
She offered her hand, and Edward unquestioningly took it. Scheduler led him out the door to a hallway, but it wasn't like the ones in the hospital. It was airy, bright, and made Edward feel a peace he had never felt before.
"So there really is a light at the end of the tunnel," he mused. He was looking at the blinding light that shone from the end of the long, narrow room. "It wasn't just some figurative crap."
"It wasn't." Scheduler laughed, but her chuckles quickly turned to sobs.
"What's wrong?" Edward asked, alarmed.
"This isn't fair," she said tearfully repeated Jasper's opinion on the issue. "Nobody deserves to live more than you, Edward. I wish I could change things for you."
"Shh, it's okay," he put his hands on her forearms. "If there's one thing I've learned about how The Big Boss operates over the forty-eight days I've been a soul, it's that He really has everything planned out. I trust Him, Sched, and if He thinks now's the time for me to go..."
"But you still have so much to live for!" Scheduler wailed. "It's not fair!"
"Life usually isn't, but I'm alright with it."
"Why? How are you so collected?"
"Everything is going to be fine when I'm gone," Edward explained. "They've already traced Rosalie's location, you and Jasper have finally forgiven each other, my family's company is saved, and most importantly, I've told Bella I love her."
Scheduler hiccupped a couple more times. "I can't believe this." she whispered.
Edward's answering smile was serene. "Thank you for helping me, Sched," he said, hugging her to his chest. "I couldn't have picked a better guardian."
"I meant it when I said you were my favourite, y'know," Scheduler's voice was muffled against his shirt. "You're one of the most selfless people I've ever met. I'm going to miss you."
They pulled away from each other, and this time, both of them had small smiles on their faces.
"Are you ready, then?"
"I'm ready."
Scheduler held out her hand again, and with no hesitation, Edward took it, his head held high and his heart at peace.
"Edward. Maria," a booming voice that could only be The Big Boss' stopped them from taking a step. "Wait. I want to talk for a moment."
"Sure," Edward said at the same time Scheduler asked "What is it?"
"I wanted to come, and personally see you off," The Big Boss told them. "And to thank you for having faith in Me, Edward. I know that isn't an easy task to do, and not a lot of people choose to do it."
Edward just smiled in reply.
"So there isn't a problem?" Scheduler clarified.
"Well...there is one tiny thing..."
"Oh, no..."
"There appears to be a slight mix up," The Big Boss grinned widely. "It appears Edward isn't scheduled for his travel to the Almighty Heavens just yet."
"What?!" Scheduler shrieked.
"What are You saying?" Edward refused to let himself be hopeful. "That I'm...I'm not going to...?"
"It's rare for people to get second chances, son. Even rarer for them to receive third ones. Don't waste yours, alright?"
"B-But I don't understand," Scheduler's hand went to her rapidly glowing necklace. "I was summoned! That means I have a delivery. And if it's not Edward, then who is it?"
"In a moment, my dear. You never were very patient," The Big Boss chuckled. "Here he comes now."
From afar, Edward could see a faint figure walking steadily towards them. He squinted his eyes to try and recognize him, and when he did, he gasped.
"No," Edward choked. "Dad..."
"Edward," Carlisle walked right up to him for an embrace. "My boy..."
"Why are you here?!" Edward's gaze went from his father to The Big Boss. "He...you...your tumors are gone, Dad!"
"Not all of them," Carlisle admitted. "Dr. Laurent actually spoke to me after my operation about a few that they had missed. He wanted to do a second surgery, but I told him no. I told him not to tell your mother, either. It would just worry her."
"Why?"
"Going through the surgery the first time around was terrible, and i didn't think I could do it again. I just want to spend time with your mother and see you healthy again. Now that I've done both, I'm ready."
"Why can't he have a second chance, too?" Edward asked the Big Boss. "Why am I the only one who gets spared here?"
"Son, you have to understand. Your father is tired," the deity's tone was warm and patient. "It's time for him to rest."
"I've lived my life to the fullest already," Carlisle reached for his hands. "Now I want you to do the same. You have your whole life ahead of you, Edward. And if I had to choose between staying or saving you, the second option would always be my choice no matter what."
"Carlisle, it's time," The Big Boss reminded with a gentle hand on his arm, the other one gesturing to Scheduler. "Let me introduce you to Maria. She'll be taking you where you need to go."
"It's a pleasure to meet the father of one of the greatest people I've ever met," Scheduler curtseyed a little. She offered her arm. "Are you ready?"
"I am."
"Dad, don't go."
"Look out for your mother, son," Carlisle bid for the last time. "And always remember that I love you both."
"Do the same for Jasper, please," Scheduler's smile was teary again. "Good luck, Edward. We'll see you soon, but not too soon, 'kay?"
"What? Wait, no! Dad!" Edward tried to go after them, but it was like his feet were stuck to the floor while they continued to walk towards the blinding light.
The next thing he knew, it was dark again.
"Shh, shh," Bella's voice suddenly registered in his consciousness. Something dabbed at his hairline. "It was just a nightmare, Edward. Just a nightmare."
Was all of that just a dream?
"My d-dad?" he asked her.
"I'm so sorry," Bella used her free hand to wipe her eyes. "There wasn't anything the doctors could do..."
The strangling sound that escaped Edward's chest was loud, and a second later, Bella had her arms wrapped around him tightly. He returned the hug with as much ferocity as he could muster.
"Esme...w-where's my mom?"
"She fell asleep only a couple of minutes ago. She's on the pull-out sofa."
Edward's only response to that was to hug her tighter, and continue to sob against her neck.
"It's okay," Bella whispered. "Everything's going to be okay."
With The Big Boss's, Scheduler's and Carlisle's words in his mind, and Bella's love and warmth surrounding him, a small part of Edward was finally starting to believe that.
I was supposed to post this tomorrow, but after reading reviews and realizing people have forgotten the note in chapter 29, I just went 'fuck it' and decided to give it early.
Forgive me for not replying to reviews, by the way. I assure you that I appreciate every single one of them, even the ones calling me cruel.