Chapter five. Hope you guys enjoy! I like writing from Jacob`s POV. It`s something different and for me enjoyable. Thanks for all your lovely reviews from the last chapter. You guys are great for reading this.
Anyways, happy reading and remember to tell me what you think.
Okay so I`m the worlds biggest douche. Looks like Leah was right. Sonia is no Bella. After my psycho blow up in the hall two days ago she forbade me from talking to her and her friends or even looking at her. Fine by me, well not really. I liked looking at her. It was warming. She gave off such energy that it was crazy as hell. It was seductive, it drew me closer to her. It made me want more.
So it was Friday, let me see what`s in my oh so full social calendar. Oh right, fuck all. Patrol, listen to the others thoughts. Get a replay of Jared and Kim`s sexual escapades. See Paul`s creepy fantasies about Rachel. Urrghhh shudder. I`m going to ask Sam to put me on a different schedule to him.
Looking over at Sonia in the cafeteria I ached with longing. There she was, looking all pretty and happy, laughing and goofing away with her friends, and I was stuck here, watching my pack brothers shovel down mystery meat like it was their last meal or something. She had such a pretty smile. It made her look innocent, sweet. Not like that sarcastic smirk she wears when she looks at me. I hate that smirk. I wanted her to smile at me but it doesn`t look like she`ll be doing that any time soon. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. Gobbling down my lunch moodily I looked over at her again. She was hugging Bernie and smiling for a photo that Ollie was taking. I fucking hate Ollie. Fucking hipster loser. Who wears a trilby hat to school? Seriously?
Shit she`s spotted me. Look away Jacob! Look away! I didn`t though. Her smile faltered on her perfect mouth before setting into a hard grim line. She didn`t look away though. Was she going to call me out? Was she going to flip me off again? No, her eyes were questioning. Asking me why the hell was I being so weird. Asking me what is happening. If I told you Sonia, you will hate me. She broke off and looked at something Chris was showing her from a book. Don`t listen in Jacob. Don`t listen in. It`s not fair to her. You`re not Edward. You are not a stalker.
"You should try and talk to her Jake." Paul suggested, looking wistfully over at his old group of friends.
"She`ll be happier this way." I said, peeling an orange.
"You don`t even know her so how can you say that?" Paul retorted, devouring an entire Mars bar in one go.
"She`s really nice. Sonia`s like a Kinder egg. One you break through the hard shell you get a fun surprise inside. She`s cool." Paul said gently. "Gain her trust and she`ll be loyal to you forever, unlike Smella."
"Her names Bella!"
"Whatever, she stinks so much of leech it hurts." The others nodded in agreement. It was true. Bella stank of leech.
"Just leave it be Paul. Even if I wanted to talk to Sonia now I don`t think she`ll hear me out."
"That might be true." Paul agreed seriously. What? Really? That thought filled me with dread as I took another look at her direction. Ollie caught my eye and whispered something over to Sonia.
"He`s looking at you again." He said. I heard my imprints heartbeat start to quicken.
"Really?...I mean...let him look away." She said with boredom. Like she didn`t care or something. Stop being such a wuss Jacob. This is what you want!
"He`s wants to deflower you Sonia." Bernie teased. I could see her cheeks flame up. She was a virgin? Huh... that`s...unexpected. I wondered if it was true.
"Shut up. I`m not giving it up to Black. No way in hell." She quipped, sounding disgusted. I growled loudly at that.
"Cool it Jake!" Quil warned.
"Yeah, stop listening in." Embry said.
"She gets like that when she`s in defense mode." Paul informed us. "Chances are she has been thinking about fucking you. She`s embarrassed that the others brought it up."
"Ya think?" I asked a little too enthusiastically. Paul snorted.
"So you do care what she thinks huh?"
"Shut it Paul!"
"Ooohhhhhh." Paul laughed at me.
"I think you should play it cool. Sonia isn`t afraid of you so stop trying to get her to run away. If you really don`t want her, lay it out straight. Tell her how it is and let her come to her own decision. It`s not fair on her the way you are going about it now." Embry said.
"What if I tell her and she freaks out?"
"Then she freaks out. She doesn`t want anything to do with you and you get Bella. In fact...that`s the perfect scenario for you. She knows, she gets grossed out, and you get Smella..I mean Bella." Embry concluded. I didn`t like this. It was the perfect solution but it felt so wrong. My eyes wandered back to Sonia again. Her other friends were all chatting away but she remained quiet, her eyes glued to some undefined spot in the cafeteria. What was she thinking about? Was it me? Her gaze shifted and I was knocked out again. The way her eyes held my own...the promises of love and happiness and strength that she offered...it was terrifying because it was too much to lose. I had to protect myself didn`t I? What if we got together? What if I fell head over heels for her and she was snatched away from me? Like my mom was... that would be too much to bear.
Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I was being pig headed but I knew this was for the best. For her as well as me. She would find someone else...however painful that would be for me I would let her go. And I had Bella. Being honest I was safe in the fact that I knew she loved me, not as much as her leech but she loved me none the less. And I loved her. Our love wasn`t one that took over me, like my potential love for Sonia could. It was one that I could control in a way. A love far removed from all the craziness going on in my life.
Bella needs me. I owe it to her to see her safe. Alive! My love was the only thing keeping her heart beating now. If I submitted to Sonia`s magnetic pull over me then Bella`s soul would be lost forever. Maybe this was all some sort of test the Great Spirit has set for me. Could I resist Sonia and save Bella? Looking deep down within myself I knew that I would fail. It was only a matter of time before I snapped. I am only seventeen! Why is this shit happening to me?
"So Jake. What`s new in your life? I feel like we haven`t seen each other in like forever." Bella said quietly to me as we took a walk down the boardwalk in Port Angeles.
"Nothing much. Same old same old." I laughed humorlessly. What a fucking lie! I`ve imprinted! I found my soul mate. Neat huh Bells?
"How`s the pack?"
"They`re fine. They want to know when you are coming over to La Push to see them." Another lie but if it makes her smile then...
"I miss La Push. I want to go over so bad." She said wistfully. I took her hand. In the past in would have sent my heart racing but now...I shook that feeling.
"Then why don`t you? Eddie boy not letting you out of his sight?"
"Don`t be like that Jake! You know Edward is only concerned about my safety."
"Nothing bad can happen to you in La Push Bells."
"I know but...I don`t want to make him upset."
"Cue abusive boyfriend behavior number..."
"Jake!" She pouted, coming to a stop but not letting go of my hand.
"Sorry `kay!"
"Apology accepted. So, how`s the bike?"
"Still awesome. You could come down one day and we can ride it together?" I offered. She smiled coyly and looked pleased. I was glad to see a smile on her face.
"Sounds good. We just have to keep it a secret from Charlie." She giggled.
"I won`t tell. My lips are sealed." I pretended to zip my lips which made her smile even wider. I really did love her. She was so sweet, so innocent, a lamb being seduced by a lion. She needed me to protect her from him. I knew I was doing the right thing when I looked into her big trusting brown eyes.
"You`re the best Jake!"
"I know I am. So good of you to realize that."
"Ha ha. So, what you wanna do? Go to the movies? Get a bite to eat?" She asked sweetly.
"Both? The night is young and so are we." I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me. Then...what is with this feeling of terror? It`s not mine... Shaking my head I looked down at Bella, trying to dislodge the feeling. That was so fucking strange, and frightening.
"You are so warm Jake, I just want to snuggle into you." She purred, giving me shivers of pleasure. Bet she doesn`t get that from her leech...I held her closer as we rounded a corner.
WHAT. THE. FUCK! What is... Is that Edward? Standing there with Sonia? My Sonia? I`ll kill him...I`ll fucking kill him! Rip him to shreds then burn him!
Sonia...she looks so terrified standing there beside him. It`s okay Sonia...I`m here, he won`t hurt you. I`ll never let him. Scanning her body for any sign of hurt I breathed a sigh of relief. Looking as perfect as ever clad in what looked like an outfit borrowed from Fame she backed away from Edward a little.
"Edward!" Bella yelled. Sonia looked over at us, relief flooded her face. She was obviously terrified before. I growled lowly.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, Furious at Edward and angry that I had failed to keep Sonia safe. See! I don`t deserve her! I let a fucking leech get near her!
"Is that question for me or for Sonia?" The Emo fucker asked me.
"For Sonia. What are you doing here?" Locking eyes with Sonia I tried to read her for any sign of distress. Shit, I didn`t mean to make my voice so hard, but I couldn`t help it. I was so fucking beyond pissed that I could phase at any minute.
"What business is it of yours asshole?" Urrghhh! Why is it when I am trying to come to her aid that she gets so defensive.
"Whatever Sonia, just go home now. This isn`t the place for you right now." Just go home Sonia! Just go and don`t look back. I put as much dismissal into my voice as I could. She needs to get the picture that I`m no good.
"You shouldn`t speak to her like that Jacob. If she is who she unmistakably is to you then you better be nicer. You are hurting her." He just had to say that didn`t he? There`s another reason for me to kill him. I`ll add it to my list.
"She is nothing to me!" I spat, that lie sure did hurt. It hurt because I felt her hurting. I saw Sonia`s face drop a little. I`m sorry, I`m so sorry but you need to understand!
"Liar." Edward said. Just shut up already!
"I love Bella!" I proclaimed loudly and forcefully. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sonia getting her keys out of her pocket and heading towards her shitty old Eagle Medallion.
"You love Sonia Jacob. No bother denying it. It won`t go away, no matter how hard you fight it." Mind reading cock sucker! I screamed at him in my head. Sonia stopped and hesitated, she didn`t look back though her heart started racing and her breathing quickened. Please Sonia...just go home. I`ll tell you but not here, not now.
"Jake? What`s going on? Who is that girl? Did you...you imprint?" Bella asked me, tugging at my hand to get my attention. Shit! What do I say to that? Sonia looked around, not at me though, at Bella again. Like she was sizing up her competition whether she knew it or not.
"I...Bella...I love you! Understand that. Sonia means nothing to me." Again feeling that horrible ache in my chest I hurt Sonia again.
"But Jake..."
"But nothing Bella! You are my girlfriend. Jacob needs to understand that. You need to let him go."
"You don`t understand Edward!"
I watched Sonia walk to her car angrily and once inside slam the door shut. Her engine wouldn`t start and I knew by the look on her face that she was getting more and more frustrated. Eventually it started, I would have to take a look at that engine, I`m not going to let her drive around in that hunk of junk.
Seeing her drive off like that filled me with regret. I would check up on her tonight. She that she`s okay. It`s the least I could do, or the most, I don`t fucking know anymore.
"The girl you just saw Bella, that was Jacob`s imprint. Looks like it finally happened." Edward said, coming towards us. Bella dropped my hand and took his.
"Her?" Bella asked shocked. I got annoyed at her.
"Yes her Bella. What were you expecting?" I asked snarkely. Nothing ever goes my way does it?
"I dunno, just, she seems kinda mean." Bella replied. Then she started to cry a little. "You deserve the best Jacob. I have a feeling...that she isn`t it you know?"
"That`s not for you to decide love." Edward said soothingly. "Being inside her head..." I stared at Edward, how dare he violate her like that. "...she isn`t that mean, she seems quite interesting actually." It took all my self control to stop myself from phasing right there. How dare Edward read Sonia`s mind! Study her thoughts like she was some fucking specimen in a laboratory. She`s a person! A human!
"Edward!" Bella shouted, looking totally pissed. By now, like Sonia, I`ve had enough.
"See you later Bella." I called over my shoulder as I set into a jog towards my own car.
"Jacob wait!" She called after me. No, I`m not waiting. I can`t anymore.
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