A/N: So I have to confess that I don't fully know how the townspeople might react, having only come out to a few people and received only positive reactions (luckily). Also, to paraphrase Sartre: hell is other characters - I found writing dialogue for anyone who wasn't Jocelyn or Maggie very difficult. This got more angsty than I meant it to, but then again, the brief glimpses of these two after their kiss was hardly happy, so I blame the episode.
Thank you to everyone who has given me such lovely comments so far! It really means a lot to know you have enjoyed my writing. This chapter is dedicated to Lauren, who makes me smile every day with her lovely, inspiring words. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!
Upon entering the atrium, most people turn to glance at Jocelyn and Maggie, but this is not the time or the place to comment. Eyes shift to the Latimers to gauge their reaction, but the family are drawn with the stress and worry of the trial, and have no capacity to consider anything other than getting justice for Danny. Beth even seems to give them a small, understanding nod; a slight softening in her eyes as they exchange pleasantries and Jocelyn tries to offer some reassurance for the coming day.
They both know that it will not be this easy forever; undoubtedly everyone has their own thoughts about this latest development. Gossip and intrigue spreads quickly in a small town, and speculating about the relationship between the local reporter and barrister will no doubt be a welcome change of topic or a source of consternation once the furore of the trial has died down.
For now, they escape to the relative safety of upstairs, away from the intrigued scrutiny. Jocelyn is reluctant to part from Maggie, but she needs to go and change into her robes in case the jury reach a verdict at any point in the day. Before they part, Jocelyn catches one of Maggie's hands in hers and squeezes briefly, not caring if anyone sees - a pointed, and public, display of affection. They both take comfort from the small gesture.
As Jocelyn disappears down the corridor, Maggie turns to the corner seating to find Olly smirking at her over the lid of his laptop.
Rolling her eyes, Maggie approaches him, awaiting the inevitable comment: here she has found the one person who will not be able to resist saying something. She isn't wrong.
"So it's true then?" he says cheekily, an eyebrow raised, and Maggie resists the urge to just ignore him and change the topic: Jocelyn hasn't shied away from facing this so far, so neither will she.
"It?" she replies tersely, not in the mood for his teasing even if she does have to confront this. Right now, her thoughts are mostly with Jocelyn, and the hostility she is likely to be facing if Sharon Barber is in the locker room.
"You and Jocelyn." It's said as a statement, not a question; a smug smile on Olly's face as he knows she can't dispute what he just saw.
Maggie holds back a sigh and flops into the chair next to him. "I won't bother denying it," she says eventually. "But get your mind out of the gutter Oliver, it's not like that."
The expression on his face says he doesn't believe her but Maggie has no desire to explain further. His face drops a little at her prolonged silence, and Maggie feels slightly apologetic for her harsh tone; he had only been pleasant, if a tad too enthusiastic, about the whole thing.
"Everyone noticed I suppose?" she offers, her voice softening; his face brightens immediately.
"Ben managed to look spectacularly shifty when he came in," Olly tells her, caught between amusement and apology. "If people hadn't guessed just by him walking in alone, he made it rather obvious that there was something to notice. Sorry."
Maggie shakes her head. "It's fine." Then, in order to deter further comment, she looks over at his laptop to read his latest foray into social media; well, look like she's reading it in any case - she has no concentration right now - solely wondering how Jocelyn is doing.
Before Jocelyn can reach the locker room, she hears her name being called softly from further down the corridor, and turns to find Ben looking distressed.
She has no time to say anything before he launches into a babble of apology, to which Jocelyn only catches brief snatches: "I should have knocked on the door"... "saw the car"… "thought I'd leave you in peace"... "didn't think about how it would look"... "sorry"... "really sorry"…
Eventually Jocelyn holds a hand up, having got the gist of the story, and his tirade stops suddenly.
"Thank you," she breathes, relieved. "It's alright Ben, honestly. You only did what you thought was best."
He looks uncertain, so Jocelyn offers him a small smile and a further explanation. "At least you saved me from spending days, and potentially weeks, being afraid that other people would find out and worrying about their reactions."
Ben can tell she's deep in her own thoughts now, and probably doesn't mean to speak her next words out loud, considering the vehemence in them – like she's berating herself. "That's what prevented me from saying anything all those years ago... I've spent too long caring about other people and not enough time caring about Maggie's feelings. Not anymore."
With that, she steels herself to head into the locker room, at last brave enough to face her ex-pupil and any derision or scorn directed at her. Maggie deserves that: for Jocelyn to tackle her demons that have held them apart for so long.
As expected, Sharon greets her in a typically obtuse way: a short round of sarcastic applause followed by an acerbic comment. "Well, I didn't think you had it in you," she drawls. "Getting it on in the middle of a trial. I'm almost impressed."
Jocelyn bristles at the flippancy of the words; unable to prevent the reaction, even though she knows Sharon will delight in antagonising her. "Not that it's any of your business," she says archly, her voice cold. "But you obviously can't grasp the fact it's more meaningful than that. I'm not surprised - you're not capable of tenderness, so why should you recognise it in anyone else?"
Her words are taunting - she can't help it - Sharon has always brought out a confrontational side to her.
They're prevented from further argument however, as Ben pokes his head around the door. "Sorry to rush you, but there's a question from the jury. We've got to go back in."
As the public file into their seats in the courtroom, Jocelyn has time to glance quickly at the press bench, seeking out Maggie. Their eyes find each other; the look passing between them saying everything they can't say in words right now: it's okay, we've handled it. We're going to be alright.
Any contentment Jocelyn had managed to reclaim in that brief moment is swiftly destroyed by the judge's words as she relays the jury's questions.
Trying to reassure Beth and Mark is impossible, Jocelyn knows, as she and Ben talk with the grieving parents. Even as she stands there, she can feel the case slipping away from her.
She manages to brush Ben's concern off and heads into the locker room alone. Opening her locker, she reaches for her mother's hairbrush, needing something familiar to anchor herself; an attempt to quell the negativity rising within her.
She's jolted back to reality by a knock on the door, then Maggie's voice rings out. "Jocelyn? Are you in there?" Silence. "Jocelyn please, if you're in there - talk to me."
Jocelyn remains standing there, unable to speak out; no matter how much she wants the reassurance - craves Maggie's arms around her - she fears that she may crumble if it happens.
Eventually, she hears Maggie's footsteps quieten as she walks away.
Maggie waits until Beth and Mark return to the atrium before she goes in search of Jocelyn, needing to see her and try to offer some comfort. Useless, she knows, but she needs to attempt it.
Her first port of call is the barrister's locker room, and her heart speeds nervously as she raps on the wood, hoping that Jocelyn will be on the other side of the door, and not Sharon. She's not spoken to the other woman, and doesn't intend to start now, not when she knows instinctively that Sharon will have given Jocelyn a hard time earlier.
When the door doesn't open however, Maggie decides it's safe to call out Jocelyn's name. "Are you in there?" she asks. There is a resolute silence in reply. She tries again. "Jocelyn please," she says, her hand resting on the door. "If you're in there - talk to me." Still nothing.
Maggie pauses for a few moments longer, before deciding to carry out her search elsewhere. She banishes the small thought that pops unbidden into her mind: that Jocelyn doesn't want to face her right now. She can't think like that - they're in this together.
On her way downstairs, intending to head to the ladies and see if the elusive Jocelyn can be found there, she finds Olly preparing mock-up versions for the front page; the word 'GUILTY' emblazoned across the screen along with a close-up photo of Joe Miller catching her attention immediately.
Something inside her snaps, and she berates Olly, unable to handle this any longer. She doesn't know how she's going to bear it if the 'not guilty' version is the one they end up publishing. Suddenly, the need to find Jocelyn becomes even more important: she needs Jocelyn right now as much as Jocelyn needs her. After all, Maggie is the one who lived through the devastation in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy; the one who saw Beth and Mark in their grief and could do nothing to help. Jocelyn has only recently been pulled into this world. Where is she?
The announcement that the jury are coming back in calls a halt to Maggie's search. This time however, Jocelyn doesn't turn to look at her when she joins everyone in the gallery. Maggie tries to ignore the sting of hurt that shoots through her.
The collective exhale of disbelief from the room when the foreperson says that the jury hasn't reached a verdict echoes in Jocelyn's head as she stares resolutely at the table in front of her. Ben whispers something to her, but she's barely paying attention.
Yet again, everyone has to file out of the courtroom, still on tenterhooks. Jocelyn follows them out, searching for Maggie this time: she has no consoling words left to say to the Latimers – despair gripping her.
She eventually finds her in a secluded corner upstairs: seated on a sofa bench facing the window, her back to Jocelyn.
Jocelyn notices her tense slightly as she approaches, no doubt hearing the footsteps; the reaction is worrying. Gently, she places her hand on Maggie's shoulder. Maggie doesn't turn to face her.
"Are you alright?" Jocelyn asks, instinctively sensing that something is wrong; a distance between them that she doesn't know how to close. She remains standing there, hand still resting on Maggie's shoulder, unable to draw away until she answers.
"Where were you earlier?" There's a cold edge to Maggie's voice, as though she already knows where Jocelyn was, she just needs to hear it for herself.
"I'm sorry," Jocelyn says. The simple words are answer enough. She feels Maggie pull away slightly from her touch; it pains her, but Jocelyn understands.
"Why did you do it?" Maggie asks, not able to mask the aching hurt in her voice. The meaning is clear even though the words remain unspoken: why didn't you come to me? She finally turns to face Jocelyn, and the tormented look in her eyes shows Jocelyn just how unkind her actions of earlier had been, and how much they had affected Maggie.
She sinks to the sofa next to Maggie, wanting to reach out more than anything, but she unconsciously knows that Maggie will flinch away if she does. She owes her an explanation first, before she tries to take any comfort from her.
"I'm so sorry," Jocelyn whispers, sounding truly bereft. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted to open the door, believe me I did."
Maggie struggles to hold her gaze, but she desperately wants to believe the sincerity in Jocelyn's words, so she doesn't interrupt as Jocelyn continues.
"I just couldn't do it. I needed you, but I needed to be strong as well. If I'd opened that door I think I would have lost it, and I couldn't afford to do that."
"Did you even think about me? How I might have needed you?" Maggie says. She hates the way her voice sounds so forlorn, so vulnerable.
"No." The word cuts through Jocelyn as much as Maggie, as she realises that yet again, she's put herself before the woman she loves.
At least she's honest, Maggie thinks bitterly.
"I'm sorry. I know I've let you down." The only consolation is that Jocelyn sounds just as broken, if not more so, than her.
A silence stretches between them, unbearable, as they both try to work out where to go from here.
Maggie slowly takes Jocelyn's hand, where it rests on the seat between them. Jocelyn starts at the contact, looking to Maggie in surprise. Maggie is looking back at her, her eyes sorrowful but finally with a hint of understanding.
"You haven't let me down," she says eventually. "You're here now."
Jocelyn blinks back the tears which spring suddenly to her eyes. "I knew I'd crumble if I saw you," she murmurs, a hint of a laugh in her exhale.
Maggie's fingers brush the back of Jocelyn's, drawing indeterminable patterns across her skin.
"I went to find you to offer some comfort," Maggie admits. "I didn't realise it'd be worse if you saw me."
"Nothing could be made worse by seeing you," Jocelyn murmurs fervently. "I didn't mean it like that." She twists her hand so that she is now holding Maggie's fingers in her own. She lifts their joined hands to her lips, brushing a gentle kiss against the back of Maggie's. "Believe me, you make everything better." She punctuates the words with another kiss.
Maggie twists her hand to caress Jocelyn's cheek briefly with her fingers. The tears still shine in Jocelyn's eyes.
"What a pair we make," Maggie sighs softly, a hint of a smile pushing onto her face.
An answering smile tugs at Jocelyn's lips. "At least we're in it together." There's a question laced in the quiet words.
"Sharon didn't put you off then?" Maggie asks, a lightness returning to her voice. They're both relieved to hear it.
"On the whole, I'd say she was faintly praising if anything," Jocelyn replies wryly.
Maggie quirks an eyebrow.
"'I'm almost impressed' are the actual words she used, if I remember correctly. All things considered, she was far less insulting than she could have been."
"I'll count that as a win," Maggie jokes.
"I'll take what I can get." The implied meaning in Jocelyn's words is not lost on either of them.
As if he'd been waiting for that exact moment – the thought of the trial once again fresh in their minds – Ben appears behind them in a hurry.
"Sorry to interrupt," he pants. "But the jury's coming back in. There's a verdict."
As he turns and walks away, giving them a moment alone, Jocelyn turns to Maggie.
"Thank you," she murmurs.
"What for?"
"Your support. I'm sorry I didn't accept it earlier."
Maggie clasps Jocelyn's shoulder as they walk back towards the court, her fingers lingering by Jocelyn's neck.
"It's forgotten," she smiles softly. "I know what you're like." There's no malice - only affection in her voice, tinged with a slight exasperated fondness.
The smile Jocelyn gives her in response tells her she understands.
In the courtroom for the final time, Jocelyn tries to smile reassuringly at the Latimers – she knows nothing will comfort them right now, but there's still hope.
As everyone else files into the public gallery, she cannot resist a glance towards Maggie, their eyes catching for the briefest moment before they have to look away.
It's enough to reassure Jocelyn that no matter what happens, Maggie will be there.
A/N: So that's the end for this story! The next part will be up soon, covering the events of 2x08 and all the missing scenes there. I really hope you enjoyed it!