Chapter 17:
She had injured a guard, and Mandila knew that her actions placed in her a very dangerous position. If one of the more callous officers caught up with her, they might not even give her a chance to surrender, and running would certainly mean that they'd attack her. She'd seen it once or twice before, and had no desire to be on the receiving end of such violence, but hopefully her concerns never came to fruition. In fact, chances were very high that everything would be settled before she came out of hiding, for the guild was currently collecting money for a bribe. Unfortunately, buying freedom would probably make Lex despise her more than he already did. Gods, but she wouldn't even be able to talk to him anymore.
No tears, Mandila!
She smothered her emotions, or tried to, as she heard soft footsteps approaching, the sound difficult to locate amid the dark, echoing corridors of the city's sewer system. She crouched in the corner of the large room that had become her home—a room chosen due to its lack of an open, waste canal, and one where there was no evidence of recent visitors. It was, however, still a sewer, and hence very unpleasant. Even now, with approaching company, Mandila heard the scuttle of rats in the darkness, which made her unconsciously tense, for she hated the creatures and their bold and dirty nature. Down here, they were kings, and she was only a trespasser, meaning that she'd sometimes fall asleep to awake from one of the foul critters fearlessly touching her. She'd already been bitten several times, and there were scratches up and down her arms from chasing a rat as it drug her supply pack toward a crack in the wall. Now she had Methredhel bring her fresh food as often as possible, and only in small quantities, for she didn't want to attract more rats than necessary with stored goods.
"It's only me," a voice probingly called. "Mandila?"
"I'm here." A lantern flared to life as the two Bosmers moved closer to one another, Mandila blinking rapidly in the unexpected light. She rarely lit her lantern, for fuel was precious, and she didn't want to notify other people of her presence. She'd already seen one person down here, and she'd held her breath as she waited for the man to wander down another corridor, for who knew what kind of freaks or killers roamed this place. The darkness protected her as much as it bothered her, and for a respite, she sometimes crept closer to the surface for air and sunlight; however, it was often too risky an act to indulge in, and damn, but what she wouldn't give to walk the waterfront again.
"What's new?" Mandila asked while accepting a loaf of bread and an apple.
"Nothing," Methredhel dejectedly admitted. "But Armand feels terrible that you have to stay down here. I think he's sorry that he ever questioned you, and he's working really hard to make up for it now. We've almost got enough money for the bribe, and then he's going to speak in the right ears. You'll be bounty free in no time." Mandila was pulled into a reassuring hug that made her smile despite her many problems, and for once she was grateful for the guild's intervention, even if she would never forgive them for taking Lex from her. That was a cut too deep to heal, and so she didn't think that she'd remain highly involved with the guild once she was free. Armand in particular held her scorn, for it was his jealousy that had endangered and sent her to prison.
"Did you speak with Lex?" Mandila reluctantly asked her sister, fearful of the answer.
"No." And Mandila almost breathed in relief, for she was sure that Lex would not have kind words to share with her. Then again, given that he was an upright man, surely, if she just got word to him of why she'd left her cell...
"Please talk to him," she begged her sister. "You must tell him."
"Do you actually think that he'd believe me?" Methredhel incredulously asked, and Mandila looked away from the halo of light that enveloped them.
"If anyone would even consider my story, it's him," she softly stated. "He's..."
"Mandila, I'm sorry that you're hurting so much," Methredhel interrupted. "I knew that you liked him, but I never thought that you'd actually cross the line. How could you let that happen? Look what's it's done to you! A captain and a thief can never be together, sister."
"Just speak with him," Mandila requested. "And tell me what happens."
"Okay," Methredhel relented. "But only because you insist. It should be easy enough to find him anyway. The waterfront's patrol has been increased since your escape, but I've heard that the enforcement's ending. They can't devote that kind of manpower to finding one person for very long." It had only been three days, Mandila realized, so the weakening patrol would be a direct order from headquarters, not from Lex. She was certain that he would continue hunting her long after others had stopped.
"Thanks for the food," Mandila said, beginning to eat while conversation and light might keep most rats at bay.
"You're welcome. Shadows hide you, sister," and with that, Methredhel began retracing her way to the surface world. Mandila waited a few minutes before she extinguished her lantern and settled back down into the darkness, listening to footsteps fade into nothing. Her left hand brushed something slimy on the ground, and the sensation nearly made her shudder as imagination conjured horrible thoughts to mind. This place was beyond nasty, but she had to wait, for there was no other choice. She could only will the guild to work faster for her sake, because she wasn't sure how much longer she could handle confinement in the city's underbelly.
*********
Was it wrong that he felt her absence so acutely? Lex turned the thought over as he strode along the harbor, now back to business as usual, and with most of the guards having conceded defeat in capturing Mandila, but he hadn't. It was nearly impossible for him to do so since simply being here reminded him of her. On a normal day, she'd be with him right now, chatting away or maybe causing a few problems, and he had to admit that there was something missing since her disappearance. Maybe she'd skipped town, which would be for the best, even if he did hope to catch her, or maybe he didn't. His mind seemed more muddled as of late.
Due to a lack of anything better to do, Lex began heading toward Mandila's hut on the waterfront, wondering if the guards had missed anything in their investigation. The house had been turned over by some of his best men, yet he was unconvinced that everything to be found had been unearthed. They'd confiscated lockpicks and a few coins, but otherwise the house was devoid of knickknacks, which surprised the captain and made him suspicious. Given Mandila's personality, he'd expected a plethora of personal objects, yet her home was almost as bare as his own, only in much worse condition. The woman didn't even own three entire sets of clothing.
Lex unlocked Mandila's front door and stepped inside, his eyes scanning the area and noting every detail. There had to be something incriminating here, even just a short, scribbled message, for he was almost certain that the elf would never give him the guild, meaning that he was on his own in pinning crimes on the remaining thieves. Damn, but Armand was probably one house over, fully aware that Lex was here searching for clues, and mocking his frustration. Well, they would see who had the last laugh.
The captain checked Mandila's puny mattress for any hidden openings in which she could hide stolen goods, but finding none, he turned his attention to her pillow. Perhaps something was hidden inside, and so a hand slid under the pillow's covering and gently ran over the fabric, the occasional feather poking his fingers. Again, it appeared that he'd met a dead end until his hand slid over something that was most definitely not a normal part of a pillow. He eagerly pulled free a small piece of parchment, but froze when its contents became clear to him: My office, six o'clock. He had written this and given it to her some time ago, and she'd hidden it?
He sighed as he realized why it must have been in the pillowcase. Mandila hadn't been hiding it from guards, but from the guild, keeping this silly paper for some unfathomable reason. She really had been trapped between two sides, and he wondered how often she'd stayed awake late into the night, trying to decide how to handle her situation. His offer must have made matters even worse, and then there was the fact that she'd wanted to support him but technically couldn't, for she belonged to the same world that opposed him. Perhaps she'd wanted him to understand why she dwelled in that world, but he hadn't been listening.
It isn't my fault, he inwardly growled. Crumpling the paper in his hands, Lex tossed it to the floor and vacated the building, barely shutting the door as he left. To think that the elf had felt strongly enough about him to defy her own people...that took courage.
"Sir!" a female voice sounded, and he turned to see that the other elf, Methredhel, was moving toward him. "I need to talk to you," she said.
"About what, citizen? I am very busy at the moment."
"It's about Mandila." They stared at each other for a few seconds before Lex snorted in disgust.
"So the guild has decided to sell her out after she kept her silence," he mused. "She never should have sided with your kind." Then he brushed by the annoying woman as he made to depart, but the Bosmer would have none of it, and he wondered if the entire race wasn't expert at harassing others.
"I'm not here for that," Methredhel protested. "I don't even want to talk to you, but she insists." Now Lex stopped and gave her a more speculative stare, noting that she'd just told him that Mandila was still somewhere in the city.
"Why does she want you to talk to me?" he asked.
"She wants you to know what happened in her cell. A guard locked himself in with her and tried to force himself on her. She hadn't planned to escape until he cornered her, and she has the injuries to prove it. You should see the bruise on her chest where the bastard nearly crushed her with his boot." Lex considered the words, his idealistic side wanting to deny that any of the guards would do such a thing, but he himself had seen missing pieces in the man's story. "She locked the guard in her cell to keep him away from her, and since she'd injured him, she ran. Your kind tend to dismiss the truth when it comes to abuse, so she was worried that she'd be killed."
"Is that all?" Lex asked. "Then tell her that her life will be easier if she turns herself in."
"Unbelievable!" Methredhel angrily exploded at his condescending tone. "I don't know why she has any faith in you, sir. You're obviously a waste of her time." The Bosmer stormed off, and Lex ordered a man to trail her to see if she might lead them to Mandila, but other than that, he returned to his quarters. Perhaps the elf had spoken the truth, but he'd confirm her story by speaking to other prison guards in private. If the cook had tendencies, he'd ferret them out and make sure that the man was punished. If he had touched Mandila in any inappropriate way...Lex gritted his teeth and didn't want to feel as upset as he did, but he figured that it was justified since it reflected poorly on the watch. Hadn't Mandila told him that the waterfront didn't trust guards for a reason—that she didn't trust them for good reasons? And what if the man had gotten further with Mandila than Methredhel's account had suggested? Lex didn't even want to think about it as he entered the guard tower and began his investigation. In this matter at least, he would not disappoint her.
************
It was four days later that Mandila climbed back into the sunlight, her bounty cleared and her life safe for the living. It seemed that nothing had changed as she and Methredhel walked back toward the waterfront, people eyeing Mandila's tattered appearance with disdain as they moved through the crowds. The younger Bosmer hardly cared as she enjoyed the sorely missed bustle and brightness of normal life, and yet she felt detached from it all. What would happen now?
"Armand will want to see you," Methredhel shared, munching on a carrot as they walked. "But I think that we should get you a bath, bandaged, and dressed before that. You look like you crawled out of a grave." Mandila managed to giggle along with her sister, the realization of freedom making her feel a tad giddy, but her eyes still blurred with dark images and thoughts, the most pronounced being that Lex would eventually see her. She didn't know how he would respond to her being in his patrol zone again.
"Maybe I should move," she mused aloud, and Methredhel wrapped an arm around her, smiling broadly to make up for Mandila's lack of enthusiasm.
"If you're thinking about what I think you are," she admonished. "Don't worry. He can't touch you. You'll keep your nose clean for a while, and then you can start working again. He'll have nothing to say on the matter." Did the older thief really think that life would just return to the way that it had been before Ranen manor and prison? Normally Mandila would be able to quickly rebound, but did Methredhel not understand how hard it was to let go of a man she'd fallen head over heels for? She'd given more than her share of heart to her ex-knight, although part of her would always look to him for protection. After all, he would still do his job when it came to her, and wasn't that what made a knight? Doing the proper thing even when he didn't want to?
"I hope that the guards didn't take my belongings," Mandila randomly commented.
"I bought you some new clothing," Methredhel assured. "That's what sisters do for each other." Mandila wondered if everyone would act like nothing had happened. More importantly, she wondered if she was capable of following their example. As they stepped onto the harbor walkway and she caught sight of a certain captain, she doubted it. Oh gods, but he was walking toward them.
**************
Lex couldn't believe that she had the nerve to be seen so soon. He'd been told—no, ordered—to drop the case against her, and Mandila's bounty had been erased from the books accordingly. Oh, he knew who was responsible for it, and he was furious that the guild had one-upped him yet again. How much longer would this continue? He continued marching toward his target as he realized that Mandila had spotted him, but she did not run. She simply said something to her friend, who scurried off for some unknown bidding as Mandila followed after her at a slower pace.
"Good morning," Lex stiffly and sarcastically greeted, his eyes sweeping over Mandila's still strolling form, and his sympathy began growing at what he saw. This was not the smug, victorious behavior that he'd half expected, but the still broken stance of a beaten opponent, and by the Nine, she looked horrible. Her clothing was filthy, a distinctly foul odor rolled off of her, and he could see scabs all across her arms and hands, some of them resembling small bite marks. Her cheeks were leaner, her body skinnier, and her flesh much lighter than it had been before, the pale color being more suited to a corpse than this young woman, and the entire image burned itself into Lex's mind.
"Where have you been?" he asked against his better judgment, his anger dissipated as he realized what condition she was in—that, and her treatment by a guard making him mellow. The results of his investigation had not been favorable.
"Somewhere no one in their right mind would go," Mandila told him. "I need to rest, captain. Try to arrest me some other time, please."
"You can't escape justice," came his rote reply, and he almost regretted how it seemed to have no effect on her. He seemed to have no effect on her.
"I don't give a damn about justice right now," Mandila emotionlessly expressed. "All I care about is getting a bath and strangling Armand. You'll have plenty of time to chase me later."
"Then you know where we stand," he decided, but not liking that it was so.
"How could I not?" Mandila humorlessly smiled. "You always do what's legally right, sir." Lex didn't even feel like pursuing her as he let her continue on her way, unmolested. Yes, this was what they'd become, and there was no going back. What if she never regained her spirit? Part of him felt responsible, and there she stood, battered and bruised again, as if he'd failed her.
"Mandila," he spoke. "The guard was charged with assault and stripped of his position."
"Thank you." Pause. "You're not as angry as I expected." There was a sense of longing in her voice that made Lex want to see her smile excitedly at him. When she'd been sitting in that cell, he'd thought of her, noticed her vacant laughter on the harbor, and even wondered how she was fairing. Forgetting her was simply impossible, and as she gave him a tentative glance, he noticed the hope in her eyes. She couldn't possibly still view him in a positive light after he'd locked her away, but then why did she still hold that searching stare that had always struck him so? It was as she looked at him in such a manner that his urge to kiss her rekindled, and he was perturbed with himself that he couldn't even control his own thoughts concerning her.
"I'll miss you, captain," Mandila said, bringing him back to earth. Was she leaving?
"So you're still going to Bruma?" he guessed.
"No. That's not what I meant," she explained. "I'll still be on the waterfront, and I promise not to get into any more situations where I need rescuing, so you needn't worry about that." Lex only nodded. It would be strange to see her everyday but feel a barrier between them, and now that he realized the urge to kiss her would not simply vanish, he would never have the opportunity to feel her lips outside of that one, intoxicated mistake.
"Stay safe, citizen," Lex tonelessly stated before turning and walking away. Mandila hated hearing him speak in such an impersonal manner, but that was Lex. Now she would go get her bath and face Armand and the guild, hear what they had to say, and make decisions from there. She didn't want to steal anything else that would force Lex to hunt her, for she didn't want to put herself or him through that, and she knew that it would not only be her who suffered. Perhaps there was reason to hope.
"Mandila," Methredhel called. "I'm ready for you. Let's get you scrubbed clean!"
"I'm coming," she answered, and the bath did indeed do her well. She soaked in the hot water and felt dirt loosening, making her appear more the woman that she had once been, but of course she was not as happy or content as before. Methredhel helped dress her, and Mandila sent her away, instructing her to tell Armand that she wanted to rest before speaking with him, and so she was left alone as she sat in her hut, a crumpled note in her hands.
With a sigh, she straightened and tucked it back into her pillow, and then she carefully retrieved the pendant from beneath her floor boards. The cool silver sat in her hands, and she knew that she had to return it, even if it was the last thing that she could touch to remind her of pleasant memories. It was Lex's, and she would do no more wrong against him, meaning that she could not in good faith wear this treasure ever again. And perhaps, if he saw how serious she was about gaining his forgiveness, they could at least talk civilly to one another and not glare or cringe when they crossed one another in public. Yes, she'd return it, and in person so that there was no mistaking her intentions, for she could not stop caring about him, and he should know that, although he might scorn her.
"Tomorrow," she told herself. Tomorrow she would face him, for the tension between them now could not last without driving her crazy. For this last night though, she would hold the pendant and imagine what might have been had she been from a better family and not a thief, but dreams were only ever an illusion.