The Ultimate Konoha Idol!
By Tru and Neko
Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.
Neko: The contest finally is revealed!
**
CHAPTER 2: Explanations
"Couldn't it be a youthfulness competition instead?" asked…well, you can guess.
"So you admit that your students have no talent whatsoever in the singing department," said Kakashi triumphantly.
"You'd have to show me proof," countered Guy, "that Naruto can sing in public before you can go around saying that."
"Oh yeah? My team will triumph over all of you!!" Asuma stood up.
"CAN CHOJI EVEN SING?" demanded Kakashi and Guy at the same time.
"Hey! No sharigan allowed!" said Guy.
"There was no sharigan! See, my headband is still across my eye!"
"So? You could've just pulled it back down with lightning speed!"
Kurenai was getting annoyed at them. "Okay, for your little competition against each other, this whole thing is a tie."
"I don't care about it!" protested Kakashi. "It's Guy who is crazy enough to keep track of these types of things!"
"You call it crazy," said Guy. "I call it keeping in touch with my youth!"
"Well, I'M manly," replied Asuma.
"Says the guy who took his cell out to eat while my cell was training," pointed out Kurenai.
"HEY!" shouted Asuma. "How did you know?"
"It was in book 4. Around the same time Naruto was playing with random little kids, one of which was the Hokage's grandson, and then the Sand ninja appeared."
"WHAT?!?" cried Kakashi. "He was supposed to be TRAINING!!! No more ramen for him!"
"My pupils always train," said Guy pointedly. "The score is 51-50, for Youthful Me."
"Sorry, did you say something?" asked Kakashi, feigning ignorance.
"Fine. 51-51. May the most youthful man win!"
"No!" said Asuma. "May the most manly man win!"
The score is now 51-51-0, in favor of youthfulness!!!!"
"ARE YOU GUYS DRUNK?!?!?" yelled Kurenai. "I tell you my wonderful idea, and you're discussing if youthfulness or manliness is better!"
"Youthfulness!"
"Manliness!"
"How many votes you get in the popularity list!"
"The best singer!"
Guess who said what.
*
In their training ground, everyone was still in the pile while Shikamaru watched in annoyance.
"Can't you learn how to share?" he commented.
Naruto was asking a different question.
"Why…do…fat…people have…to be…so…heavy?" asked Naruto from directly under Choji's head.
"Naruto, no!" warned Hinata, but she was too late.
Choji did his best to glare at the nearest person, who happened to be Hinata.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" demanded Choji.
"N-nothing!" stuttered Hinata. "I was just w-warning N-n-naruto not to say what he said!"
"AND WHAT DID HE SAY!?!"
Naruto glared at Choji.
"What did…I…say? Why, I asked…why fat people-"
"FAT PEOPLE!? I'M NOT FAT!! I'M-"
Choji then blew up. Or rather, expanded. "PLEASANTLY PLUMP!!!!!!!"
This caused even more pressure on everybody in the pile.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," grrred Kiba.
"It feels like a giant cockroach sat on us," commented Shino.
"NOW I'M A COCKROACH!?!? I AM SO INSULTED!!! IF WE WEREN'T IN THIS PILE, I'D SQUISH YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!"
Shikamaru sighed. Suddenly he grinned. He walked into the now empty training ground and began practicing his shadow techniques.
*
Kurenai had somehow managed to get the other masters calmed down.
It had not been an easy task. After a very long discussion about youthfulness and manliness, she had threatened to force them to baby-sit Konohamaru (the Third Hokage's grandson) for a week. As none of them were looking forward to that, the masters had immediately stopped their argument.
"May I start explaining my idea now?" Kurenai began.
The others nodded.
"Okay, so I watched this show called 'American Idol' last night," she began.
"Not in front of your cell, I hope," said Guy. "I don't go around showing my cell random shows, especially before watching them. In fact, I don't read any inappropriate novels in front of them either, unlike Kakashi, who reads Make Out Paradise/Violence in full view of his cell when it is clearly an-"
"I thought we talked about that already," warned Kurenai.
"-adult novel, so if Naruto got curious and snuck up behind Kakashi-"
"I'm warning you-"
"-he would he reading inappropriate content! Now even if he was in a battle with ninja assassins-"
"DO YOU WANT TO BABY-SIT FOR A MONTH?!?!?!???!?!?!?!?"
Guy was silent.
"So, anyway, I was watching this show after everyone was asleep. I was very bored, you see. On this show, there were contestants who sang. Three judges evaluated these contestants' talent, or lack of thereof. One contestant was eliminated. There are several rounds of this, each round on an episode. The last person on the show is the American Idol.
"After watching this show, I had the idea that Konoha should host some kind of competition like that. We could be the judges, and our cell members the competitors. Basically, the only rule is that you can't kill each other. You are allowed to ambush each other, or get outside help, but no death or serious injury."
"Works for me," replied Kakashi.
"Is part of the judging on looks?" asked Guy.
"One more thing," Kurenai added. "You can't just stand there singing. You have to dance, too. And we need an announcer. What about Master Iruka?"
"I'm better looking!" protested Guy. "And more youthful, too!"
"No," countered Kakashi. "Just no."
Kurenai sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought.
**
Please review! Maybe next chapter they'll actually start singing :P