Dear Angel - Chapter 9
A/N: I know that I said this chapter would be the actual (non) date. However, it's not. It's a little more of what happens before the (non) date. Sorry about this. It's something that I just started writing and couldn't stop. Still hope you like it! Thanks again for reading! Love you Angels! - Roxy
(Sonny's POV)
As I slowly strutted towards the elevator, I though about whether or not I should just come out and tell him the truth about everything. For one, it would make things a lot simpler between us and I wouldn't have to sit there and lie to him all evening about my identity and who I really was.
"If I only knew for sure that his feelings for me were genuine and true", I said to myself as I pushed the elevator button going down to the main floor, "Then it would be easy for me to just tell him about everything. About the letters, about my feelings for him..."
I thought about what's the worst thing that could happen if I told him the truth? He could be angry with me. But it's to be expected after being lied to for over a week. And with time, he could eventually forgive me and maybe there would still be a chance that we could make this work.
We could be happy together.
Then I thought about what if he doesn't forgive me for lying to him. Then I would lose him completely, as his friend, as he anonymous, forever...
I stood quietly in the elevator questioning my decision whether or not I should stay anonymous.
I was almost convinced when thought about all the letters we wrote to each other this past week, and how my feelings for him have changed drastically in only a matter of days. One simple letter was all it took for me to realize that this man was everything that I've ever wanted and that I was now falling deeply and hopelessly in love with him.
Overwhelmed with guilt, I sighed deeply and stepped out of the elevator and headed towards the lobby.
And there he was, standing there, looking as handsome and as beautiful as ever, my angel, slowly pacing the floor as he waited for me.
And that when I knew what my decision had to be.
I had to remain anonymous, cause there was no way in hell that I was going to let my guilt screw this up for me over a simple cup of coffee.
"Alright, here goes nothing...", I whispered to myself and I walked towards him.
(Will's POV)
"Okay, I still have a little time before he gets here", I said to myself as I nervously rubbed my hands over my face and watched towards the elevator for Sonny to arrive.
My mind kept debating whether or not I should make it clear to Sonny that this is nothing more than two friends enjoying a cup of coffee together, "Yeah, that's it", I muttered softly as I shook my head in agreement, "Just tell him that you wanna be friends and nothing more. It's as simple as that!"
However, simple wasn't the case at all.
Sonny was an extremely attractive man.
A man who from what I understood was single, willing, and totally available. And I would be lying if I'd say that I wasn't attracted to him, because well...The truth was... I was very attracted to Sonny.
Who wouldn't be attracted to those dark chocolate-brown eyes that sparkled like diamonds. Even in bad lighting supplied by our offices, there was no chance of stopping that twinkle.
I smiled when I remembered the first time that I truly looked into his eyes. It was in a meeting a few months back. I was discussion the marketing campaign for our upcoming spring line to the board, when Sonny gave a quick glanced in my direction. I took one look into those eyes chocolate-brown eyes and found myself lost for words. Luckily for me, Chad was there to steer me in the right direction. Thank God for my wing man and best friend.
That's when I told myself that I would never look at Sonny's eyes ever again. Well, that was until today...
And then there was Sonny's perfect dark brown hair that stood up in every direction, in which I liked to refer to as "sex hair". He looked like he had just rolled out of bed for crying out loud, yet it was probably the sexiest thing that I've ever seen.
I often found myself wondering what it would be like to run my fingers through those thick, luscious locks, "Bet it would be so soft, so..."
I found myself licking my lips, just thinking about Sonny and his amazing features. I was quickly pulled out of my fantasy by the sound of the elevator, signaling that someone was just about to step out of it. I shuffled nervously.
"Oh my God! What the hell are you doing, Horton! Pull yourself together!", I cursed myself as I looked over towards the elevator and saw Sonny walking in my direction.
My heart started racing rapidly and before I knew it, Sonny was standing right in front of me with his gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes, and to make things ever worst, the sex hair was included in there for free.
"Hey, you ready to go?", he asked in all confidence.
And once again, there I was, completely lost for words, standing there like an idiot in front of him, "I...Uh..."
(Sonny's POV)
I stepped off of the elevator and headed directly towards Will. I kept my head held high and my hands in my buried deep inside my coat pockets so he wouldn't notice how shaky my hands actually were. I was extremely nervous about going out for coffee with him. Even if it was "Just as friends", I still wanted to make a first good impression.
I took a deep breath to calm myself down before speaking, "Hey! You ready to go?", I asked, feeling confident with myself, and waited for him to say something back in return.
"I...Uh...", he muttered out and then paused. Those were the only words that I understood that came out of his mouth.
If I could tell any better, I would have guess that Will was just about nervous as I was about this. But he couldn't be. After all, this is Will Horton we're talking about. He would never be nervous about going out for coffee now would he?
"You alright?", I asked, without sounding too concerned.
The last thing I wanted was for him to thinking that I was worried about him changing his mind about tonight. Then something occurred to me as I waited for him to speak. Maybe he wasn't nervous at all. What if he's just trying to find a way out of this awkward rendezvous. Oh god! What if that's it?
"Uh..I...I'm fine", he answered, "I'm sorry...I..."
Hearing say the words "sorry" come our of his mouth, was a confirmation enough for me to conclude that he indeed, he was trying to find a way to back out of tonight.
What the hell was I thinking that a guy like Will Horton would ever be interested in a guy like me?
So, I decided to make things easier for him and to spare myself of the embarrassment of being rejected.
"Look, Will", I stammered, cutting him off completely before he had a chance to finish what he was saying, "If you don't wanna go out for coffee...It's fine. You don't have to pretend to be nice to me in order to make feel better. I already feel like shit enough as it is today, so please don't make this any harder on both of us."
My heart sank just enough to make me feel sick after saying those words to him. However, that wasn't the case for Will. He just stood there and started laughing, which I thought was rather odd and insulting.
"What's so funny?", I asked, almost in anger, because at the time, I didn't find anything funny about this situation at all whatsoever.
"Nothing", he chuckled and smiled, "it's just...You!", he laughed harder.
"Me? What's so funny about me giving you the opportunity to turn the other way and run?", I snapped, still not getting the clear picture of why he found this so amusing, "I am not funny!"
Finally after being able containing his laughter, Will smiled and looked straight at me, "Yeah you are."
"I'm sorry, but I don't get why you think me making a fool in front of you is so funny? Care to explain that?", I asked in my defense.
"Well for starters, you didn't even give me a proper chance to finish what I was about to say to you before jumping to the conclusion that I didn't wanna go out for coffee with you."
Was I hearing him right, or was this just my imagination playing tricks on me?
"Wait?", I questioned, "So, you didn't wanna back out of having coffee with me tonight?"
"No, Sonny. Not at all", he smiled shyly, "I'm just nervous. That's all", he admitted.
"Seriously?", I asked, dumbfounded, still trying to wrap my head around the idea that he really wasn't looking for a way out of tonight. Could this really be happening?
He nodded slowly, "Yeah, seriously. What? You don't believe me?", he asked with a smart ass grin on his face.
"No...I mean...Yes! But... Why would you be nervous?", I inquired.
"Probably for the same reason that you keep meddling with your keys", he smirked and pointed towards my coat pocket.
"What? I'm not...I wasn't...Oh...", I smiled inwardly when I notice that I actually was meddling with them, quite a bit actually, then I felt slightly embarrassed , "Sorry about that. It's a nervous habit of mine."
"It's okay. I guess it's alright to be nervous when you're starting a new friendship."
"Yeah, I guess so...", I stuttered, "So, you're serious about..., well you know? Still going out for coffee with me?"
"Of course I am", Will rejoiced, "But you're paying!", Will said as we both slowly started walking towards the exit of the building.
"Oh am I now?", I giggled, "I thought since you were the one who asked me out for coffee that you would be the one paying?"
"Well...", Will paused and smirked, "Technically since I asked you out, I should be the one paying. However, since you're the one who almost left me there hanging a few minutes ago all by my lonesome, I think it would only be fair that you would pay this time around as your way of begging for my forgiveness. And next time, it will be my treat."
"Next time?", I questioned, cause I wasn't sure if I heard him right.
"Yeah, Sonny. Next time...", Will beamed as he held the door open for me to step outside, "After you Mister Kiriakis", he smiled and gestured me to step out first.
So I did just that, "Well, thank you Mister Horton", I teased.
The suddenly, I felt something press itself against the small of my back. I blushed furiously when I realized that it was Will's hand that was guiding me out of the building. I turned around only to meet Will's steady gaze. We stared into each other's eyes for such a brief moment that I wasn't entirely sure it had happened. Quickly looking away, he kept us moving. But I couldn't help but remember the gentle but firm pressure of Will's hand on my back and the way his eyes peered so deeply into mine. And then my stomach fluttered once again; those restless butterflies that can't seem to settle when I'm around Will were back.
(Will's POV)
We waited for over ten minutes and there was still no cab in sight, "Well, I guess luck isn't in our corner tonight, Mister Kiriakis", I said as I looked over at Sonny who was slightly shivering.
"Yeah, I guess not", he said and rubbed his hands over his arms a few times to warm himself up.
I could see that he was cold, and for some reason, he only had what looked like a thin layered coat on which I didn't quite understand. It was still early spring and the evening's where still very chilly at times.
"Are you cold?", I asked, trying not to make such a fuss about it.
"Yeah...", he admitted, "Maybe just a little."
"Here", I said as I pulled off my scarf and handed it over to him, "It's not much. But it's enough to keep you warm while we wait for a cab."
Sonny smiled at the offer, however looked rather uncomfortable accepting it, "Thank you, but I can't take your scarf, Will. Then you'll be cold", he pointed out and pushed it away.
"I'll be fine", I said as I took a step forward and without thinking, I took the scarf and wrapped it securely around Sonny's neck and rested both my hands on his shoulders once I was done, "There! This should keep you warm until we can find a cab and get you something warm to drink."
"I...uh...Thank you, Will. I...I really appreciate it", he smiled sheepishly.
"Don't mention it!", I smiled, feeling proud of myself for doing something nice for Sonny. But that's when something unexpected happened.
That spark... It was the same spark I felt when I was on the roof top with my anonymous.
Then I found myself wondering if it was a mistake to deny myself of something that could be real and I simply ignore what's standing right in front of me today for something that just might never happen.
I wasn't ready to give up on my anonymous just yet. And to make things even more complicated, I wasn't quite ready to give up on Sonny either.
We both stared at each other momentarily, and I could have sworn that Sonny was blushing. It took me a second to realize that my hands were still resting comfortably where I had left them. Which was probably longer that they should have been.
It felt rather nice to feel this close to someone. Someone real. Then my thoughts drifted back to the roof top and to my anonymous and the moment that we shared earlier when we kiss, and how all of this felt kinda similar.
Then suddenly, I felt nervous again and I couldn't quite understand why though. It wasn't like I was expecting something from Sonny, because honest to god, I wasn't. After all, this wasn't even a real date and for all I know, Sonny might have just accepted the offer as his way of being polite to me. Yet I found myself wondering what if Sonny is looking for something more that friendship? And where does my anonymous come into all of this?
And that's when I felt it again.
That same spark as earlier...
"You're hands are cold", Sonny whispered softly after placing his own hands over mine, "Maybe you should put them inside you're pockets to keep them warm", he suggested and rubbed his hands over mine a few times.
As soon as I felt the warmth of Sonny's hands covering my own, I froze. Then I panicked. I abruptly pulled my them both away from his shoulders, "Uh, yeah...", I agreed and quickly tried to change the subject before I said something either stupid or not right for this moment, "So, I guess we should probably start walking if we wanna to the coffee-house before it closes. Doesn't look like we're gonna be driving there anytime soon."
Sonny's face quickly changed after I pulled my hands away from him. He almost looked hurt. Rejected...
"Yeah, Well...Maybe we should just go back inside and call a cab or something? Or maybe we should just postpone this until some other time when you're free. It's getting pretty late and..."
"What?", I asked feeling disappointed, "What happened to having coffee with me?"
"Look, Will. I'm sorry if that came out the wrong way...I...I'm not sure if having coffee with you is such a good idea."
"Yeah, okay. If that's what you really want, Sonny", I frowned, "I'll just go call us a cab."
I smiled inwardly and turned to go back inside to call us both a cab when Sonny reached out and grabbed my hand so that I wouldn't leave, "No! Don't go, Will... I didn't mean it like that Will. It's just...", he paused, "Shit!"
"What's wrong?", I asked when I noticed that Sonny was starting to freaking out.
"Will, what I really want is to go out on a date with you tonight. Oh god! Wait! I didn't mean it like that! Fuck!"
Okay let's rewind this here...Did Sonny just say that he wanted to go out on a date with me tonight and then take it back?
"Uh, Sonny?", I tried cutting in, but there was no way of that happening any time soon. Sonny was having a melt down, and it was just about the cutest thing that I've ever seen.
He sighed, "I didn't mean that I wouldn't wanna go out on a date with you. Who wouldn't wanna go out with you? You're smart, funny, and very handsome. I know that this isn't date or anything...And I know that you would never be interested in me that way. It's just..."
If he only knew how interested in him I really was.
"Sonny?"
"It's just...It's fucking cold and I'm fucking freezing and out here! And I always tend to freak out when I'm around you, and for some very annoying reason, I can't seem to shut up and I haven't eaten all day and if I don't get food in my system soon, I'm probably gonna die of starvation or embarrassment or which ever comes first."
"Sonny...", I said as I held up my hand to effectively stop him from speaking, "Are you done?"
"Yes", he muttered out and looked mortified, "I'm just gonna go crawl in some corner and die now!"
I chuckled, "Well isn't that's a shame. I was really looking forward to taking you out for dinner tonight", I smiled.
"What?", I sounded rather surprised, "You...you wanna to take me out for dinner?"
"Why not? We wouldn't want you to die of starvation now would we?", I chuckled, "It's the least I can do for the person who finds me smart, funny and handsome I might add!"
"Kill me now and put me out of my misery!"
We both laughed loudly at Sonny's last statement, "Look, I'm not going to lie to you, Sonny. So here's the deal", I hesitated slightly before I continued.
I wanted to make sure that what came out of my mouth next, came out right. I didn't wanna lie to Sonny and lead him on into believing that this was date. He deserved better than that coming from me. After all, I was the one who asked him out and offered to take him out to dinner. I also didn't want him to think that I wasn't interested in him either. Because I was interested in Sonny, but the timing...
It was kinda unexpected. I never thought that in a million years, that I would find myself torn between having feelings for two people at the same time.
I owed it myself to at least give it one last shot with my anonymous before throwing in the towel and calling it quits. And I also owed Sonny an explanation for leading him on, even if that wasn't my intention, "My life is kinda messed up at the moment. It's not that I don't find you attractive, because well...You are, Sonny!"
And that was the truth. Sonny was so fucking hot! However, that wasn't the only thing that I was attracted to in Sonny. I also loved the fact that he gets nervous when ever he talks to me, and that he blushes when ever I catch him looking at me, and the way that I felt when our hands touched...Even if it was only for a few seconds, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need sometime to figure things out before I can put myself out there again. I think you're a really nice guy, Sonny", I paused and took a deep breath, "I know this is gonna probably gonna come off as selfish, but would really like to spend some time with you. But for now, All I can offer you is my friendship."
Sonny looked hopeful, "That seems fair enough."
"Wait? You're not mad?", I asked, feeling a bit surprised by his reaction.
"Why would I be mad? You're being honest with me. What more could I ask for in a friend? And if you're serious about being friends, I think I would really like that, Will. Very much."
"Really? You're okay with us, just being friends?"
"Yes! If that's all you can offer me then I'm not going to push it, Will. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little bummed out about it. Now hurry up before I change me mind. I'm dying of starvation here!"
"Someone is pushy!", I smiled at his forwardness.
"Only when he's hungry", he retaliated, "So, where are you taking me out for dinner?"
"I think I have just the perfect place in mind. Come on. It's this way", I said as we walked off together.
"Where are we going exactly?", he asked curiously.
"Casa de la Horton! It's just a few blocks away from here."
"Casa de la Horton? I've never heard of the place."
"They say the cook is rather Handsome and incredibly sexy", I teased and gave Sonny a devious grin.
"Oh really, well...I guess that's a good choice then. Where did you say it was located?"
"Yeah, about that...", I giggled nervously, "It's actually at my apartment! I hope that's alright."