The Ultimate Konoha Idol!
By Tru and Neko
Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.
**
CHAPTER 3: Grammar Lesson!
A few hours later, the pile of genin finally managed to untangle themselves. They all got to their feet, some blushing furiously while others drifted subconsciously away. Kiba made sure to punch Naruto in the head, yelling, "This was all your fault, idiot!"
Shikamaru and Neji looked up from their game of chess (hey, they were bored!).
"About time," yawned Shikamaru.
Tenten glanced at her watch. "Well done! You were tangled up for three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds – must be a world record."
"Ha ha," said Sasuke, folding his arms. He looked rather squished…like a pancake. That's what happens when you have seven people on top of you for three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds.
"I'm hungry," said Choji, "what's for lunch?"
"Come to think of it," said Ino, "I'm hungry too. Will you take me out to lunch, Sasuke?"
"No," shot Sakura, "Sasuke's mine!"
Naruto's stomach growled.
"I'm even hungrier than when Kakashi tied me to that tree stump! I could devour a bowl of medium-sized ramen right now! Hey, I'd even devour a large size and still be hungry! Only a supersize would be yummy yummy in my tummy!"
"SUPERSIZE!!" screamed Choji, momentarily forgetting how hungry he was. "HE'S STILL AT IT!!!"
"We can go out together, my angel," sighed Lee girlishly at…you decide.
"I want ramen to be in my hungry tummy," said Naruto.
"No," said a new voice.
"Master Iruka!" gasped Team Seven.
"Can we have ramen?" asked Naruto.
"You can," said Iruka, "but I won't let you."
"Huh?" wondered Naruto.
"Typical!" sighed Sakura. "Let me explain this to you. Repeat it to yourself, and eventually it should start making sense. The phrase 'Can I eat ramen?' would grammatically be asking if you are physically able to eat ramen. If Iruka had replied 'Yes, you can', it would mean you are physically able to eat ramen, but it does not necessarily mean that you are granted permission to eat ramen."
"But since I said 'I won't let you'," added Iruka, "I will not take you out for ramen."
Naruto did not process any of this information, except for the part about not being allowed to eat ramen.
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," he sulked.
"Can I have ramen?" asked Choji.
"What did I JUST say?!" asked Sakura.
"Sorry."
"None of you will have ramen!" said Iruka.
"WHY?"
"You were here for three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds, and none of it was actually spent training. Can't you learn how to share? Instead of arguing who had the right to train here, you could have all trained at the same time."
"Exactly!" said Lee happily.
"I wouldn't be happy if I were you. In fact, I would be ashamed! Spending three hours, twenty-eight minutes, two seconds and nine milliseconds tangled up! At least you had the sense to practice your techniques, Shikamaru."
"Thanks," he replied. "How did you know that?"
"I read this story. However, Shikamaru, you trained in front of your helpless teammates, not to mention the other teams! You should be ashamed of yourself, Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru gaped at him a moment, before deciding this conversation was too troublesome and wandered off into a corner of his mind to sulk.
"Tenten, Neji, Lee, Shikamaru…EVERYONE! I am very disappointed in you. You four did not help the others when they were tangled up. The rest of you, well, you should be better ninja than that."
"Are you done yet?" asked Naruto, who hadn't really been listening.
Iruka sighed and anime-sweatdropped. "Ignoring Naruto, let's move on."
Now the genin noticed the appearance of their masters.
"Master Kakashi!" cried Naruto and Sakura (Sasuke was too cool to show surprise).
"Master Guy!" shouted Lee, rushing toward the green spandex-clad master to hug him. Neji and Tenten just exchanged glances.
"Master Asuma!" gasped Ino and Choji (Shikamaru had fallen asleep on his feet).
"Master Kurenai!" greeted Hinata, Shino, and Kiba. Akamaru barked happily.
Kurenai cleared her throat. "Everyone, we have an announcement. LISTEN UP!!!"
At this, Shikamaru jerked awake, Lee and Guy fell down, and Naruto let out a girly scream.
The ninja covered their ears, wincing. A few moments later, the ninjas-in-training were all seated on the grass, staring curiously up at their masters.
"For the next week, we have decided that you all will be taking part in a competition-"
"My YOUTHFULNESS will win!" cried Lee excitedly. Kurenai sighed. She could see the resemblance.
"As I was saying, you will be competing against each other, with us and Master Iruka supervising. The competition is no other than…Konoha Idol!"
"…"
The ninja students were in shock.
"You mean…we have to sing?" asked Naruto blankly.
Kurenai clapped her hands together. "Exactly! Just like on American Idol. There will be three outside judges. We will be testing your skills other than ninja abilities. So have fun!"
Iruka quickly stepped up. "A couple of rules: for this first round, everyone must prepare a singing-and-dancing routine set to a song of your choice which you can relate to yourself in some way, shape, or form. You will be presenting them tomorrow morning in front of the panel. You may get outside help, or use any techniques or props you have to enhance your performance. The only thing you cannot do is kill each other, all right? We don't want to get sued."
"…"
Once again, the words were met with silence.
Suddenly, Naruto burst out laughing.
"Someone…pinch me," he gasped, rolling around on the ground. He giggled. "Oh, this can't be real…a SINGING contest. Hee hee…" He couldn't imagine his fellow ninja singing.
Sasuke gleefully pinched Naruto, who jumped about ten feet in the air with a girly shriek. Again everyone covered their ears.
"You told me to pinch you," Sasuke pointed out calmly. Behind his cool emo exterior, he was laughing maniacally.
"Any questions? Otherwise, you are dismissed," said Iruka.
"Is this obligatory?" asked Neji.
"Yes."
There was an explosion of noise at this.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE HAVE TO DO THIS??!" demanded Kiba.
"ARF! ARF ARF!" agreed Akamaru.
"I can't sing!" cried Choji. "This is not fair!"
"I refuse to be brought to this level," growled Neji, crossing his arms.
"Unfortunately, the other masters are overly competitive and have forced you all into this first round," Iruka explained. "Take it up with them, not me."
"Come now, my youthful students! We shall plan our victory together!" said Guy brightly.
Lee leaped to his feet and followed Guy from the training ground, chattering on about what song he'd choose.
"There's this song I really enjoy, Master Guy, it is quite youthful! It goes like this: Boom Boom Boom Boom…" And he began to sing as he skipped away.
Neji and Tenten followed their sensei and comrade more slowly. Neji's face was creased with annoyance, while Tenten gave a rare smile.
"This will be so fun, won't it, Neji?" she said as they, too, left.
The rest of the teams slowly dispersed; Asuma gave his team a pep talk as they departed. Something about actually putting an effort into this contest. Shikamaru seemed half asleep again, Choji grumbled under his breath, and Ino was excited, like most of the other females.
"Maybe I'll get to hear Sasuke sing!" she gushed.
Kakashi was engrossed in his book as he ushered away a hyper Naruto, a confused Sakura, and a – wait, cheerful Sasuke? What was up with that?
Kurenai watched the other teams leave, secretly checking them for signs of strength or weakness. She had never heard most of the young shinobi sing, but she had her suspicions. This contest had caught most of them off-guard; she noted the more enthusiastic ones, suspecting they had experience.
Kurenai finally turned to her own team, after Iruka left. Team Eight had been the first to arrive that morning, and now they were the last left.
"Listen up, team," she told them. "We're going to beat all the other teams and show up Masters Guy and Kakashi. Practice hard, choose a song you like, and don't lose confidence!"
"B-but-Master-" Hinata stuttered.
Kurenai put a hand on the shy girl's shoulder. "Hinata, I have a few suggestions for you…"
She whispered to Hinata for a moment, who turned pink and nodded. "Y-yes, Master."
"All right then," she finished, "you're dismissed."
Her team departed, and Kurenai watched them leave with a smile. She had confidence in her team to all choose wisely. After all, she had observed her students long enough to know their musical interests, and in which areas they were strong singers.
This was one contest Team Eight were sure to win!
**
Neko: The end is a bit random, I know. Does Kurenai have ulterior motives for choosing a singing contest? ^.^ The real idol begins next chapter, I promise!
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