Once again my writing seems to have deteriorated slightly...plotwise anyway. This chap's mostly trashy fluff between Roy and Ed just to warn you, with a bit of explanation on the Ishvarlan bit. Thanks to xBelovedx for reminding me I needed to clear up some things about that!

Shots of Roy's house will be up on the blog today, even if they're pretty rough sketches.

More thanks to Sesshomaru'sSaphireMaiden, my sister, who helped me think of the perfect prank for this chapter though!

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"Wake up already!" Roy smacked Ed's back, causing him to wake up in a semi-panicked state.

"Jeez. You sleep like a dead thing Ed. And you drooled all over me too." Roy wanted OUT of the car and was in a bad mood. Fuery was laughing into his hand as Ed was shoved out of the car in front of Roy, crashing down to the pavement.

"R-Roy---" Ed rubbed his eyes, looking upset.

"Go take your things to the house and unpack. I'll be back in an hour, I have to check on 2nd Lt. Breda." Roy snapped. Al piled out as well.

"Wait a minute-" Ed argued, but Roy just slammed the car door in his face, saying "Get in the house, Ed."

Ed swore violently as he hung up his extra shirt and pants.

"Who does he think he is? Damn that guy."

Al sighed in his own room. "Bad things always happen when Brother wakes up angry." He heard Ed turn on the shower and wondered if all that ink would really come off. Through the sound of running water, Al missed the clap and bang of a transmutation. He was going to really wish he hadn't in a little less than an hour.

"I'm back." Roy announced. Al came down the stairs in front of Ed to see Lt. Hawkeye coming in behind Roy.

"Hello, Lieutenant." Al was being friendly while Ed stood silently off to the side.

"Hawkeye forgot her dorm key somewhere. Be nice while I see if I have a spare." Roy looked at Ed. He wasn't worried about Al being nice.

"Edward." After Roy left the room, Hawkeye looked the boy in the eye, a knowing look. "What have you done while the Colonel was gone? Don't try to hide it from me."

Ed shrugged. "Maybe you should ask him." Riza's eyes widened.

"Colonel!"

"I'm coming Hawkeye, just hang on." Roy grabbed a key from a shoe-box he kept in the laundry room cupboard and walked back out.

"Here you go, Lt." he sighed.

"Colonel! I'm not sure what, but Edward's done something." Roy looked surprised.

"Of course he has. Why do you think I'm still wearing my gloves?" Ed started to walk toward them as they stood in the hallway and they both watched him closely.

"Your gloves won't help you now." Ed grinned as he went past and turned on the kitchen faucet. Something upstairs exploded. Roy's eyes were wide in horror and dismay. Hawkeye ran up the stairs to find the floor soaked. Something in the bathroom had blown and was letting loose copious amounts of cold water. It started to run down the stairs and leak through the ceiling and within 60 seconds of the explosion, the downstairs living room was flooded. Roy didn't know what to do first. Move the furniture, check the damage upstairs, call 911 and/or a plumber, or drown Edward.

Hawkeye was soaked head to toe as she ran back down the stairs.

"It's the toilet sir! It came off the floor and-" Roy picked her up around the waist and moved her out of the way of an oncoming porcelain flotilla that now included his bathroom sink and counter. To the right of him, the kitchen faucet blew, sending a geyser of water smashing into the ceiling. Ed jumped and headed for the door.

"Everybody out!" Roy yelled above the noise of rushing water and the sliding furniture being pushed by it. His command was not only to ensure the safety of everyone, but also a convenient way to go after FullMetal. Outside, Roy pulled Riza's soaked jacket off while Ed checked Al's blood rune. Al whispered furiously at him.

"Why did you do that? It was childish enough to pull a prank on him, but you had to go and destroy his house?"

"It's not destroyed, just wet."

"The water damage is going to be huge to fix! Why did you have to do that?" Ed didn't answer him. Roy and Riza came over.

"FullMetal, that was brilliant!" Ed looked up, confused.

"I think you must be the absolute stupidest kid in all of Amestris!" Roy told him.

"Well I'd have to be pretty smart to know exactly where to block up your pipes so that every faucet in the house would blow, don't you think?" Roy reached out, lightning fast, to grab Ed but the boy saw it coming and stepped back, half grinning half sneering. Roy stood very still for a moment before addressing Hawkeye.

"Lt, please watch the Elrics. I don't want them going anywhere. I'm going to borrow the neighbors' phone." Roy headed across the street.

While Hawkeye watched him, Ed tugged on Al's arm, whispering "C'mon, let's go Al." Before Al could protest, Hawkeye's gun was trained on a frozen Edward Elric.

"You're not going anywhere."

There was no room in her voice for question.

Roy said thank you and goodbye to the team of plumbers who had stopped the geysers in his house and were now taking an estimate of how much it would cost to repair the damage. Roy had told them to send him the bill at the military dorms where he, Ed and Al were headed to stay with Hawkeye for the night. When she'd offered, Roy knew it would look bad, but he was too worn out to care. Most of his furniture was ruined and the ceiling under the bathroom had sustained heavy water damage. They all piled into Roy's car and rode in silence. Roy let his mind wander and rest, not even knowing what he was going to do to Ed.

Al was reading a manga about magical kitties Hawkeye had given him, while Ed and Roy sulked and glared at each other. Roy got sick of it and went into the kitchen to find Hawkeye, said kitchen being little more than a pantry with a microwave oven stuck in the wall. Riza knew what he was thinking without a word.

"You can't be too quick to lash out unthinkingly at Edward, even if he does deserve it." Roy nodded.

"I'm not sure how to handle this, Hawkeye. Since I've had to deal with him, he's done things that made me angry, but this is the first time he's ever done something purposefully to hurt me."

"I understand sir. In this case, to lash out would only tell him he'd been successful. But be too lenient and he'll think he can do whatever he wants to." Roy looked at her, his eyes admitting defeat and confusion and looking to her for answers. It was all he needed to say.

"Controlled discipline seems to be the best option, sir. You don't necessarily have to hurt him, but it has to be clear..." Roy nodded.

"You're right...He's so uncontrollable I doubt my ability to ground him, forced labor would make him resentful, and so would any kind of inflicted pain. The sad truth is, Riza," Roy gave her a wry smile, "That as much as I can't just let this go, I don't want to directly butt heads with him. He can be completely insensitive and ruthless when he's really angry, and I'm not sure how well I would fare..." Riza smiled.

"The FullMetal Alchemist has a reputation for a reason. I don't blame you. But I think we all might be surprised at Ed's reaction to actual discipline." Giving him a reflection of his own wry expression, she opened a drawer by his hip and pulled out a wooden six-inch ruler.

"A slap on the wrist might do it."

Roy's next move stunned her, accelerating her heartbeat to triple speed. Kissing her on the cheek he told her "With you around, I may survive this yet."

"Come here for a moment Edward." Ed looked up from his notebook and gave Roy a measuring glance. Indifferently he stood to follow Roy into Riza's bedroom. Some newbies would occasionally bring decorations and personal items from home to clutter up their dorms, but not Riza. White walls, white sheets, a wooden dresser. On top of the dresser was a single picture of Roy, herself, Hughes and Major Armstrong.

"Edward." Ed turned to face Roy with a baleful expression.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you blew up a toilet and two sinks because I woke you up a little roughly after letting you sleep on me for three hours in a car, is that right?" Ed shrugged.

Roy grabbed his left wrist, drawing a gasp of surprise from the boy. Mustang jerked the glove off Ed's hand as he held it, causing Ed to squeak and jerk his arm back. Roy held him tight, snapping the little wooden ruler he was holding into Ed's palm. Ed slammed backward, heels scuffing the floor. Roy let him backpedal, following him while keeping his grip on Ed's wrist until the boy backed himself against the wall.

"You didn't think I was going to just let you off, did you?" Ed pressed himself even harder against the wall. Roy had him trapped. He smacked Ed's palm again and as he drew the ruler back, Ed curled his hand into a protective fist. Roy tapped his knuckles lightly, demanding access. Ed looked up. It didn't hurt, but he couldn't believe Roy was doing this to him. Roy tapped him again and Ed hid his face, obediently opening his hand to let Mustang snap it with his ruler a few times in rapid succession. Ed whimpered slightly, pressing into the wall. The truth was, he would've rather pressed himself against Mustang, but he didn't dare.

Roy smacked Ed's palm until it started to pinken and Ed started to shake. Roy couldn't see his face and was startled to see a droplet of clear liquid fall onto Ed's chest, followed by another.

"Edward?" Ed nodded, but remained silent. Roy wanted to comfort him, but being in the military had taught him never to forget his original purpose, no matter the mission. Hawkeye had said he had to be clear.

"Do you understand why that was necessary?" Ed bit his lip and nodded his head. Roy questioning him was just as stressful as being punished.

"Are you sorry for what you did?" Roy hoped he didn't sound like he was talking to a toddler. That might actually piss Ed off, even now. Ed's whole body started to vibrate and his legs began to give way under him. Roy waited for an answer. Ed's legs gave and he slid to the floor, taking Roy, who was still holding his hand, with him. Ed choked on a sob, his resolve not to show weakness crumbling as it was wont to do in Roy's presence.

"I'm sorry Roy!" He buried his face in his arm, muffling his already near-silent sobs. Roy was taken aback at the level of distress Ed had reached, the startling sincerity of his words. He let go of Ed's wrist and picked him up so he could wrap his arms more securely around his shuddering blond boy.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." Ed choked in a whisper. Roy pulled Ed down onto Hawkeye's bed and let Ed cling to him. Rocking him gently, Roy mulled over his reaction.

Hawkeye opened the door gently, poking her head in to look for Ed and Roy. Roy smiled and held up a finger to his mouth, signaling for quiet. Riza came in to look at Ed, sleeping an inch away from Roy, hands still buried in the man's shirt. She raised an eyebrow at Roy-What happened?

In barely audible tones, Roy replied "You were right. He barely resisted. He broke down when I asked him for an apology."

"Did he give you one?" She whispered back. He nodded.

"He meant it too. I think." She smiled and brushed Ed's bangs from over his closed eyes.

"Mnmmnn." Ed rubbed his cheek with his hand and rolled onto his back, colliding gently with Hawkeye. Opening his eyes, he glanced nervously from Riza to Roy. they both smiled and Ed bit his lip to hid one of his own. Roy grinned wider and grabbed Ed's waist, tickling him roughly. Ed started laughing, increasing in volume as Riza began to walk out, only to be tackled and tickled by Roy herself. With a grin she couldn't hide, she turned on Roy, pushing him onto his back and tickling him mercilessly. Ed attacked her and Roy picked him up, then pinned him down on the bed so he and Hawkeye could both get him. Al came in and Roy tried to pick him up. Al squirmed away, delighted at the prospect of ganging up on his older brother.

"Aaagh! No, Al!" Al knew how to really torture Ed, leaving him short of breath while still laughing and tears streaming down his face. Riza straddled Roy, giving him the same treatment until they heard a knock in the door. Everyone froze.

Knock.

Knock.

Riza went to answer it.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Yes?"

"You are creating a disturbance in here. Please remember there are other people living here."

"Yes sir, sorry sir."

Riza came back into the room, which had grown quiet and slightly tense. Ed and Al were both looking at Roy expectantly, curiously.

"Well..." Riza sat down to hear this too, whatever it was.

"As a Major, I was given control of a small number of men. When we were ordered to invade a small hideout, I-...I sent my brother with a few men I had selected to check out an old storehouse. I thought he would be safer in there where the women and children were hiding than out with the rest of us. But I didn't count on the building being as decrepit as it was. It collapsed and in the confusion, the dust and the pain of knowing the people inside probably hadn't survived, someone grabbed me. It's a little hazy now, but I think the man who grabbed me was the brother of one of the women who'd been inside. He explained everything he was doing carefully and with my limited knowledge of Ishvarlan, I understood most of what he was saying. Having seen me in battle, he decided "The Dying Flame" was an appropriate name. I was a little worried about the tattoos, but he showed me how they make the ink so that it disappears with water."

"How?" Ed prodded him. Roy grinned.

"That's enough for you to know, Little Steel-Scarred."

"WHAT! AAAARGH! WHY DID I END UP WITH A NAME LIKE THAT ANYWAY?"

"They tell it like it is." Roy replied.

"WHY YOU-"

"Boys!" Riza cocked her pistol. Roy and Ed froze.

"Both of you. Apologize NOW." Roy and Ed glared at each other.

"NOW." They jumped.

"Sorry!"

"Sorry!"

Al just laughed.

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Thanks for reading! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon!