Dear Angel - Chapter 14

A/N: Hello Angels! Sorry for the slow update. Been busy all week-end. So, I hope that you Angels will like this chapter. It's one that I am very happy with, and once again, with the help of my darling Beta Jen Rescuemama2007, this chapter turned out even more spectacular! Love you Jen and thank you! I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes lol! So without waisting anymore of your precious time, here is chapter 14 of Dear Angel. - Roxy oxo

(Will's POV)

"Will, Stop! Please", was the last thing I heard Sonny say before he grabbed a hold of my shoulders and pushed me away from him.

Already missing the warmth of his embrace, I ran my fingers over my own lips and closed my eyes. I had no idea what just happened. Or why.

One minute Sonny and I were kissing each other like there was no tomorrow, and the next, he was standing there panting with his head pressed up against the wall, looking like someone who had just made the biggest mistake of his life.

I didn't understand what changed, so I stood there, quietly, dumbfounded at the whole situation, waiting for some sort of explanation.

Sonny had made it very clear that he wanted me. God, he even admitted that earlier on in the evening when I invited him here for dinner. So I really couldn't understand why the sudden change of heart? Had I missed something? A sign or a clue I didn't get? Sonny already knew about my letters to anonymous, and he also knew how torn up about it I was. So, why now would he push me away when I finally made it apparent how badly I wanted him?

"Sonny?" I asked him and tried to remain as calm as I possibly could under the circumstances, "I thought you wanted this? I was the one who was unsure…but I'm not anymore."

Sonny never answered. He just stood there, not looking at me, running his fingers through his hair, breathing heavily, and biting his lower lip angrily. I had never seen him like this before. Even in tough business situations, he was calm and collected. Not now. He looked like he would rather the floor open up and swallow him whole instead of having to face me again.

"Sonny? Could you at least look at me?" I pleaded desperately and took a step forward.

With nothing separating us but a few measly inches, I reached my hand out and cupped the side of his face gently. "Please?" I asked him again and this time Sonny responded.

He lifted his hand and placed it over mine and slowly opened his eyes. They were shining with the dampness of unshed tears. He looked so forlorn that it made my heart hurt.

We both stood there in complete silence, his hand still on mine, watching each other for over a minute before Sonny finally spoke.

"I'm sorry Will, I didn't mean for any of this to happen." He spoke almost in a whisper, and I had to strain to hear.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Sonny. It's just...I just..." I struggled to find the right words, "I thought you wanted to...to kiss me."

Sonny took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I could see that whatever Sonny was trying to tell me was something extremely difficult. Maybe he wasn't so sure of his feelings after all. Maybe he was confused and he didn't know what to do anymore. I can tell you one thing for certain; since I've finally admitted to myself that I have feelings for him, I'm not about to let him leave without knowing it.

"Sonny, if you don't wanna talk about it, it's fine. You don't have to talk." I didn't want to push him too far, cause the last thing I wanted was for Sonny to walk out of here regretting that anything happened between us at all. "How about I talk and you just listen, okay?"

Sonny simply nodded and waited for me.

"When I kissed you earlier, I felt something that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm sorry if I came off a little strong, but it was only because I didn't wanna lose any chance that I had of being with you. I was so scared that you were gonna walk out that door and never look back, that kissing you felt like the only way to keep you from leaving," I explained and lowered my head. "I'm sorry for taking advantage of you. It was wrong for me to kiss you under those circumstances."

"Will, you don't have to explain yourself to me," Sonny intervened. He sounded so defeated, so distant.

"Please, Sonny. I need to do this and I need you to listen. That's all I'm asking, okay?"

Sonny agreed and nodded once again.

"As I was saying, I kissed you for the wrong reasons. But once you started kissing me back...it was like...I'm not even sure I have words to explain, but it felt so right." I paused and took a deep breath, "Sonny, you made me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time. Things that I never thought I could feel again. You made me feel alive, wanted, loved. But..." my thoughts drifted back to that moment when I stepped forward and kissed Sonny. It was like something inside me came alive. It was a feeling that I never imagined I would ever feel again, yet alone twice in the same evening.

"...I never thought I could feel this way about two people at once, and that's why my life feels so messed up at the moment. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I don't have feelings for the person behind those letters, because I do, Sonny. It would be wrong of me to deny it. However, that doesn't mean that I don't have feelings for you too. Cause I do, Sonny. And when I kissed you, I realized just how strong those feelings are."

The first time that it happened was on the rooftop with my anonymous. Hearing him whisper loving words to me, calling me "His Angel," helped me remember how exciting it was to be chased and desired.

However, that feeling was fleeting and my perfect fantasy ended abruptly when I found myself standing alone on the roof top. I get that he was afraid that I wouldn't return the feelings once I knew who he actually was, but if he wasn't willing to risk his identity to find out how I felt about him, then I wondered if any of it was worth all the effort? In some cases, you need more than romantic letters and gestures to make a relationship work. In fact, that's what made me come to a realization about Sonny.

With Sonny, things were completely different than with my anonymous. First of all, Sonny was honest right from the start about his feelings for me. He might not say it in so many words, or be able to write romantic letters about the way he feels, but that's just fine. It's clear to me that Sonny has difficulty expressing himself. At least he's ready to open himself up to the possibility of a relationship with me. He was willing to take a chance, and that's something my anonymous was not able to offer me. But was it enough to build a strong foundation for a relationship? Would it be strong enough if he's not able to communicate directly about his feelings? He's standing right here in front of me, and he seemed silent and shut down. I guess that was what worried me the most about Sonny.

So I found myself torn between two very different people with whom I have developed feelings for in a very short time. At this point, I'm not one hundred percent sure that I can turn my back on my anonymous. My feelings for him are exciting and pure, and just thinking about giving up on him makes me wanna break down and cry. As crazy as it may sound, I'm totally in love with him and what makes things even harder, is that I'm pretty sure that I'm feeling the exact same thing for Sonny.

"So I'm not going to stand here and tell you that I know what's going to happen tomorrow or even in a week from now. But what I can tell you is that I like you Sonny, and my feelings are genuine and intense. And when we kissed...God! I felt the electricity between us and it made me want you even more."

How come I hadn't seen this before? For so long, I wasted my time hating Sonny. And for what reason? For snatching the promotion away from me that I worked very hard for, even though I knew that he was more than over-qualified for the position? For being an all around nice person with one of the kindest hearts that I've ever seen? For helping out others in every way that he possibly could, even if it meant going out of his way to make it happen? Let's just say the list was endless.

However, there was one big reason that hating Sonny became an obsession of mine. And when I was finally ready to admit it to myself, which was actually just a few days ago, it all finally made sense to me.

The reason I hated him so much, was because I've never wanted anyone or anything as much as I wanted him in my entire life! And admitting that to myself, was one of the hardest and scariest things. But I did. And that's when I knew that I wasn't ready to give up on him either.

Kinda ironic isn't it? Hating someone so much just because you want him so badly? Really the truth of it was that I hated myself for being an ass, and I took that frustration all out on him.

I pulled my hand out from underneath Sonny's hand and placed it on his shoulder, "I know that what I'm about to ask you might be selfish, and I don't expect you to wait around forever for me, but I'm asking you for a little more time. A day, maybe a few...so I can sort through my feelings before making any kind of decision. Can you grant me that long?"

"Yeah, I think I can manage that, and I'm sorry about earlier, Will. You know? About pushing you away, about the k-"

"Don't you ever be sorry about the kiss we shared. But you did have every right to push me away," I promptly interrupted him, because that was the truth. I would never, could never regret kissing him. "I'm just so sorry that I wasted so much energy finding ways to hate you, that I almost forgot the reason why I liked you so much."

Sonny blushed, "Oh really? And what would that reason be?" he shyly asked and waited for my answer. He had finally gotten back to the Sonny I knew...sweet, generous, humble. I just had to mess with him a little.

"Well..." I teased, "Let me think...and now that you ask, I can't seem to remember after all..." I tapped my finger on my temple, pretending to concentrate hard.

Sonny playfully shoved my shoulder. "Ha ha, very funny, Will. Be serious!"

We both laughed. It felt good to be comfortable with him again; for everything to feel as easy as it did when we first arrived at my place tonight.

"Alright, alright", I said as I took another step closer to Sonny and wrapped my arms around his waist. "From the very first time I saw you, Sonny, I thought you were so attractive. I couldn't stop staring at you", I admitted that to him.

"Yeah, I noticed", Sonny informed me and smiled. "But you loathed me so much I thought your stare was more evil than flattering."

"Well, at first it might have been a bit of both. Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"What was I supposed to say? Hey! My name's Sonny and I think you're hot as hell, so if that stare doesn't mean you want to kill me, might you want to go out with me instead?"

"Well...it would have been a start, right?", I smiled.

"Yeah, maybe. But never in a million years would I have thought you would be interested in me," he finished softly.

"And why was that?"

He met my eyes and cocked his head to the side. "Well, I was kinda under the impression that you hated me."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I cringed. "I think you know why now, right?"

Sonny nodded his head, "I do."

"Good! So, I hope we're okay for now. Because I do owe you that dinner I promised. You still up for it?" I asked, hoping Sonny still wanted to have dinner with me.

"Of course I'm still up for it", Sonny answered with a small smile, "But there's something that I've gotta do first."

"And what's that?" I asked, seriously puzzled.

"This!" Sonny wrapped his arms around my neck and brought me in for a kiss. My arms were still around his waist, and I quickly pulled his entire body closer to mine.

The kiss was amazing. Our lips moved together so perfectly. It was gentle, loving, and most of all it was filled with passion. And for the first time, I knew Sonny was into it...he finally let his guard down and the result was mind-shattering.

After breaking apart from each other, I slowly opened my eyes to meet Sonny gorgeous brown ones. "Wow, that was...", I gasped slightly.

"Amazing!", Sonny finished.

"Yeah, That! So, what was that for?" I asked.

"That was me thanking you for tonight."

"Well, if that's how you show gratitude, you can feel free to thank me again anytime," I winked.

Sonny shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Casanova. Let's go make dinner."