Yee-ah! I've been writing up a storm so here's another chapter! This one should be pretty long.
Warning: This chapter may contain disturbing material, no flames please. --;
--------------
"Al! Ed! I'm home and I've got take-out." Roy yelled upon opening the door. Al came running down.
"Hey Colonel. Where's Brother?"
"What?" Roy halted in his path to the kitchen.
"Do you know where my brother is?"
"...He's not here, Alphonse?" Roy said slowly. Al shook his head.
"I thought since he went to work with you, he'd come back with you."
"Hang on, I'm going to call Havoc. He and Ed were sparring outside last time I saw him." He ran to the phone.
"Havoc?"
"Boss?"
"Do you know where Edward is?"
"Uh, no Sir."
"the last time I saw Ed, he was with you."
"He went back inside when I went ho-...err..."
"What is it Havoc?" Roy knew Jean was hiding something.
"Well you see Sir,...He actually ambushed me in the parking lot...So I hogtied him and left him in the utility closet near your office."
Roy groaned.
"You think he's still there?" he asked.
"I don't know. I'll meet you a HQ. We can both look for him."
"OK." Roy hung up.
"Havoc thinks he's still at HQ, so we're going to check for him there. Will you take a quick check around the neighborhood for him Alphonse? Just take a look and then come back to the house, I don't want to find Ed and then have to go looking for you, OK?"
"OK!" Al and Roy both ran outside.
Roy told the cab to wait as it pulled up to Central HQ. Havoc was already on the steps talking to the nightguard, trying to gain access to the building. Roy ran up the steps, flashed his pocketwatch and dragged Havoc inside.
The pieces of rope Jean had used were on the floor of the utility closet, but Ed wasn't in there. Roy checked his office and sighed in relief when he spottted Ed asleep on the couch.
"Found him, Jean. He's asleep."
Jean smiled at the sight as Roy carefully picked Ed up.
"No need to wake him." Roy said as they walked back to the cab.
"Hey Jean...Come have dinner with us." Roy offered suddenly as he climbed into the taxi. After a moment, the tall blond shrugged and climbed in.
When they hit a speed bump, Ed started to move in Roy's lap.
"Nnnnn? ...ROY?!" Ed sat straight up, eyes wide.
"It's alright, Ed. We're going home."
"R-R...I finally got untied and no one was there and he wouldn't let me out and it was dark and-" Ed started blabbering.
"Ed it's OK now. You're alright." Roy shushed. Jean laughed at the boy's panic.
"Not only do I learn that you get upset easily, but you're a crybaby too. And don't you know Lt. Colonel Hughes works nights? He was there and the nightguard will let you in and out if you just show him your alchemists' pocketwatch." He snorted. Ed's face darkened.
"Don't call me a crybaby!" he snarled, his voice just slightly shaky.
"Such a little baby, don't you want your milk?" Jean taunted. He pulled something out of his pocket, causing both Ed and Roy to stare at him. After a moment of gawking at the baby bottle of milk Havoc was holding, Roy asked "So Jean, who'd you knock up?"
Jean blushed.
"No one! It's...a long story."
"Uh-huh...?" Roy prodded.
"OK look. Last week I got a speeding ticket and then the police officer 'diagnosed' me with 'road-rage', and said I needed to get one of those plastic squeeze-balls to grip when I get angry on the road. But the store I went to didn't have any, and the saleswoman recommended using a plastic baby bottle because you can still squeeze it, and you can also carry a drink in it like a water bottle...So I started carrying it around. But maybe you'd like it better?" He grinned at Ed. Roy didn't want them to have WW III right there in the cab, but he just couldn't stifle the laughter that bubbled up at the thought of Ed drinking milk out of a baby bottle. It was ridiculous.
"Maybe he'd like it warm." Roy said, snapping his fingers. If Ed's earlier scream hadn't spooked the driver, the sudden appearance of flames did now.
"Whatever the hell ye think yer doin', wait 'till you're out of the damn car." he snapped. Ed snickered at Roy's embarrassed chagrin and Jean stashed the bottle in his jacket pocket again.
Roy went into the kitchen to look out the window for Al, and to start re-heating the take-out. He heard a muffled yell from the living room and leaned away from the microwave to see Jean pulling Ed into his lap on the couch. Wrapping his arm behind Ed's neck and shoulders, he held both of Ed's wrists in his one hand. When Ed started kicking, Jean pushed the boy's legs flat and put one of his own legs over them to pin them down.
"G-get OFF me!" Ed cried.
"Settle down." Havoc pulled out the bottle again. Roy couldn't quite bring himself to put a stop to it. He was just a little fascinated with what the results of this would be, other than the obvious world war.
"Havoc hang on. At least let me put some chocolate in it so he won't hate you for life. He'll like it that way." Roy took the bottle into the kitchen while Ed wriggled and returned and moment later with a chocolate-colored bottle. As he handed it back to Jean, Ed swore loudly.
"Don't you f-!"
Jean tried to pop the plastic nipple into Ed's mouth and Ed clamped his mouth shut, shaking his head. Using the hand that was holding Ed's hands, Jean pushed Ed's chin back against his arm, minimizing his range of head movement. Roy shook his head.
"You'll never get it into his mouth." He said.
"Come on now Roy. We're both from the country. Didn't you ever learn how to feed an orphaned baby animal?" Havoc said very gently as he pushed the nipple of the bottle into the corner of Ed's mouth. Turning the nipple paralell to Ed's teeth and up against them, he gave the bottle a squeeze and Ed choked. Havoc pulled it out of his mouth and let Ed sit up for a moment until he stopped coughing. Pulling the boy back down, he nosed the nipple into the edge of Ed's mouth again. As he gave it another squeeze despite little sounds of protest from his victim, he reminded Ed "If you don't suck on it, or at least swallow, you're gonna choke."
His warning went unheeded and he propped Ed up again to cough. While he gave Ed time to stop choking, he squirted a bit of the milk into his own mouth to taste it. His eyes bugged out and he choked.
"Holy cow, Roy! How much chocolate did you put in here?"
"He'll like it that way." Roy defended himself. Jean rolled his eyes and pulled Ed back down and nosed the bottle in a third time. Ed wriggled a little less then he had been and after a moment, swallowed the squirt of milk Havoc gave him. Laying still and panting, he made a few more squeaks of protest before Jean squeezed the bottle again. Wriggling and swallowing, he blushed a dark shade of red.
"OK, now take it yourself." Havoc pressed the nipple to Ed's gum to make him open his teeth to it.
Ed verbally protested the slightly painful pressure against his gum, but Jean just pressed harder. Ed opened his jaw away from the pressure and Havoc slipped the nipple to the front of Ed's mouth, trying to place it in between the roof of the boy's mouth and his tongue. Ed pushed it out with his tongue and Havoc tsked.
"Here, Boss. He likes you better." Havoc grinned, offering the boy to Mustang. Roy shook his head.
"One, I don't want him angry at me, two how would you transfer him to me?"
Havoc looked down at the infuriated boy in his lap who was wary of opening his mouth. Otherwise, Havoc would have been getting quite an earful.
"You have a choice, Ed. Me or him?"
Ed would have much preferred Roy, who he was used to being held by, but it was too embarrassing to say so. But as Jean pressed the bottle to his gums again, Ed started squirming frantically, whimpers of protest becoming much louder.
"You're upsetting him Havoc. Here, give him to me." Roy sighed, giving in. He sat next to Jean and they slid the wriggling boy onto Roy's lap. With Jean's help, Roy was able to get Ed back into the position Jean had had him in. Ed wriggled and cried until Roy stuck the quickly re-warmed bottle back into the side of his mouth, whispering "Sorry, this is too cute."
The colonel gave the plastic bottle three timed squeezes, squirting the milk into Ed's mouth just a bit faster than the blond could comfortably swallow, but not so fast he choked. After a moment, to stop the flow of chocolate milk from coming so rapidly, Ed opened his mouth and took the nipple, sucking easily. Roy smiled and hugged Ed tighter, leaning over him protectively. Ed responded by wriggling slightly to get comfortable in Roy's arms. He stopped sucking, trying to turn his head away but Roy squirted him again.
"Drink it all, now." He said as Ed reluctantly started to pull from the bottle again. When it was empty, Roy pulled the bottle out of Ed's mouth with a pop caused by the suction Ed's mouth had created. The golden eyed boy swallowed the last of his milk and blushed deeply. Jean grinned and Roy hugged him tighter.
The door opened and Al peeked in.
"Did you find Brother?" He asked.
"Shh. Right here. He was at HQ." Roy hid the bottle by stuffing it into the space between the couch and the couch cushion.
"What are you doing to him?" Al came over to the couch. Ed turned fire-engine red.
"Well, he was asleep when we found him, so I was trying to convince him to go back to sleep." Roy fudged. He'd thought maybe Ed would doze off after the warm chocolate milk, so it wasn't a total lie...
"And you had to hold him down? Has he even had dinner yet? And why is 2nd Lt. Havoc here?"
"Well...Dinner's reheating in the oven and since Jean helped me find him, I invited him to dinner."
"I'll set the table. You can't make brother sleep." he added, an unseen rolling of the eyes ridiculing Roy's method of getting Ed to sleep.
As he let Ed up, Roy whispered "I'm sorry. That was childish. I hope it didn't taste too milky, I really did put a lot of chocolate in it."
Ed sniffed as if considering forgiveness.
He plowed through three helpings of chicken and mashed potatoes and about a gallon of grape juice before standing to put his dishes into the sink. As he walked behind Havoc's chair, he brushed his hand to the wood for a moment, transmuting its legs to make them about six inches tall, leaving Jean at nose-level with the table. Ed ran upstairs as Roy and Jean both yelled in surprise. Al jumped from the couch, upsetting the coffee table, then sat back down. Roy heard him muttering "Getting him to sleep huh? I'm sure."
Roy climbed the stairs and knocked on Ed's door while Jean awkwardly fell out of his seat.
"Hey now. That was childish. You can't just run away now."
No reply.
Roy turned the knob and let himself in. Ed was sitting on the bed, looking at Roy apprehensively.
"Have anything to say for yourself?" Roy asked with a raised brow.
"Are you going to punish me?" Ed ignored Roy's question anxiously.
"Mmm...It depends." Roy hadn't even thought of it. What a strange question for Ed to ask.
"Depends on what?" Ed sulked.
"Whether you can be mature about this or if you're going to continue to act babyish."
Roy saw the boy flinch at his last word. He started to come closer, but Ed shrunk away.
"No, stay over there." His voice was on the edge of pleading. Roy came to stand over his cringing alchemist and put his hands on his hips.
"Why should I?" He asked. Ed cringed and whined something incomprehensible. Roy frowned.
"Look at me, Ed. There's no reason to be scared."
"You're using that voice." Ed pouted at him. It took Roy a moment to realized how clipped his speech was sounding. His confused frown earned him Ed's clarification after a moment.
"You used the same voice in Hawkeye's dorm."
So that was why Ed was so apprehensive. He was keying into Roy's tone of voice instead of his words. Roy sighed.
"It's OK. I'm not going to do anything."
"Oh, but I might." Jean appeared in the doorway. Roy knew he was joking from his tone, but from the worried look on Ed's face, Roy doubted the little alchemist knew that. Ed gave a tiny whimper as Jean strode over to the bed and pushed his hand to Ed's forehead, pushing the boy onto his back. Ed squeezed his eyes shut as Havoc flopped casually onto the bed next to Ed and ruffled the blond bangs and then stroked the flushed cheeks.
"You're a real cutie, you know that? Too bad you're not a girl." Havoc grinned, his own strange form of reassurance. Ed suddenly clutched at Jean's arm above his face, pulling the man closer and pressing his face into Jean's sleeve. Havoc was taken aback, unsure of how to react. Roy smiled, flopping down on Ed's other side and pulling the younger alchemist close.
"Wow. He is upset easily, huh?" Jean said as if he hadn't believed it until now. Roy made a shushing noise at Havoc and turned his attention back to the boy in his arms, still holding Havoc's forearm. The dark haired man looked up to meet Al's eyes as the boy stood in the doorway. After checking on his brother, Al headed back down the stairs. Predictable as always, Al knew Ed would fall asleep liked that. Better to be downstairs reading than trying to mask his envy at watching his brother be cuddled. He wanted that for his brother, no mistake, but he also wanted it himself. Again he wished for a day soon when he would have his body back.
"Hey. You gotta let go of my arm, kid. I said I'd stay for dinner, not the night." Havoc wiggled his arm. Roy woke with a groan.
"Just shut up and sleep. It's not like anyone's waiting for you in your dorm."
"Really, you sure?"
"Yes. Go to sleep before Ed wakes up because then he won't go back to sleep." Roy closed his eyes.
"thanks, Boss." Havoc lay down again.
"Nnn...Roy?" Ed mumbled.
"Fu-er, what?"
"Why are you swearing?"
"Go back to sleep." Roy groaned. Ed started to shift and sit up and Roy grabbed him down.
"Don't you dare move." He yawned.
"I will if I want to!"
'Crap.' Wrong choice of words. Now Ed was really awake.
"Hey, don't yell." Havoc chided.
"I will if I want to!" Ed struggled in Roy's arms and with an eyeroll and a groan, Roy released the little blond creature of the night, rolling onto his back to avoid being bludgeoned by any flailing limbs. Ed slid clumsily off the bed and staggered into the hallway.
"Where's he going?" Havoc sat up.
"(Bleep)ing bookshelf." Roy mumbled. "When he wakes up, he starts reading. He'll read anything at this hour. It's like a woman with midnight munchies."
Jean started laughing as Ed stomped back into the room and turned on the light, blinding the two men.
"Aggg!" Was the unanimous reaction. Without a word in acknowledgement of the fact that Roy and Jean were being blinded, Ed flopped back onto the bed with his book and curled up in between Mustang and Havoc. Roy wrapped an arm around Ed's waist and put a pillow over his head to try to sleep, Havoc lit a cigarette, and Ed read silently for a few minutes. Just as Roy was finally dozing off however, Ed asked "Roy? Why would it be funny if a guy said he would take a girl for the ride of her life when he doesn't even have a horse, let alone a car? And why does he think it's funny that she wouldn't mind riding him? I mean he's not going to carry her piggyback style all the way home is he? That's so stupi-"
Roy's head shot up as he plucked the book from Ed's hands while Havoc pretended to cough to cover up his spasms of laughter. Roy looked at the cover of "A Night Well Spent" and groaned. Hughes loved to give him super-trashy romance novels when he couldn't find anything with flames on it for gifts. Apparently, Ed had exhausted all of his other current reading possibilities.
"Roy!"
"You can read anything but these, Ed! For crying out loud read my forbidden alchemy books, just please stay away from the ones on the third shelf to the right. At least you won't ask me any awkward questions about those." Roy moaned, then realized his mistake.
"You have forbidden alchemy books?" Ed scurried down the stairs, then started yelling loudly.
"These aren't forbidden!! You can find them anywhere! I've read everything down here except for the books on the third shelf to the right!"
Roy shot upright.
"Don't be screaming about forbidden alchemy in the middle of the night!" He snarled, tromping down the stairs.
"Sorry." Ed appeared right in front of him.
"Can't you just go back to sleep?" Roy asked. Ed shook his head ruefully.
"Not even after a bottle of hot-chocolate?"
Ed swore rudely, surprising Roy with his colorful vocabulary.
"What about out of a cup?" Roy smiled. He heated the kettle and checked the clock. 1:30 am.
He brought two mugs of hot chocolate out to the couch. Ed was pulling on his red coat for warmth. Roy took a blanket from his closet and wrapped it around Ed before handing him the mug. Roy then wrapped his arm around Ed and sipped his own hot chocolate. As soon as the young blond finished his, his eyes glazed over and he started to lean more heavily on Roy. As soon as Roy finished his and set it on the coffee table, Ed wrapped his arms around Roy's waist and dropped off to sleep in thirty seconds. Roy dozed off soon after and Jean got a bed all to himself.
--------------
Woot! Was that long enough for you? I hope everyone thought the drinking-out-of-a-baby-bottle thing was cute and not disturbing...
R&R please!! Next chap very soon!