Book Three - Chapter Eleven: Frenzy

The captain's mind was set on letting the crew loose on a rampage , but they needed to get away from the major city first. It was not a difficult task to undertake. All it took was to scout out emptier harbours with fewer buildings along the shoreline. Come night fall, these little towns were hardly to be seen with the lack of night time lights. The men were already told about the plan and were waiting eagerly to begin the game.

Jack had made his apologizes to Amelia. She did not show much warmth in her acceptance of them. She did, however, plan to use his momentary submission to her advantage.

"Will you let me go on the raid?" she asked him.

"I most certainly will not," the captain replied.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so, that's why not."

"So now you're cross with me?"

"No, I never said that. I just want you to stay on the ship. The fewer men that go out the fewer we have to lose."

"You won't lose me, Jack. I can hunt down treasure just as good as the next man," she said.

"I know, love, but this is the pillaging part of our work. It ain't laid out for us to find. It has to be taken sometimes right out of a man's hands - man, woman, child, it don't matter. People get scared. They run around like mad. They don't know what's what or who's who. Dogs run loose in the streets. Babies get left behind as their mothers run worried that the man behind her will gut her. Sometimes the women get gutted. Sometimes the babies in the street get trampled or knocked to the gutters, taken away by the dogs. See, love, when the pillaging starts there's a thick fog that hangs in the air, and though it looks like cloud, it tastes like blood. You do it once, maybe trying to save yourself, or maybe to save a lunatic from himself, who knows, it don't matter in the end. It's all blood money, no matter how you come by it.

"Now, anyone who wants to keep his head, he don't go. I'm not going. If you want to go so badly, shadow someone, but someone you trust with your life. Just bear in mind that I said not to. Bear in mind that I've seen it and I've done it before. Bear in mind that – bear in mind that I care about you enough to keep you from it."

Amelia was unprepared for this kind of sentiment. She was sure that Jack's motivation for denying her was a much more selfish one. She was unaware of how her captain felt about it. It was strange. Jack was born into piracy, broke free from it, and happily returned to it, yet somehow there was a part of it he refused to play. Barbossa on the other hand seemed less reluctant when it came to the lawless side to things. He had no conscience, it seemed, when it came to the truly pirate duties. He could shed a man's blood as easily as swatting a fly.

Amelia was unsure on where she stood on the matter. Her morals deemed the action wrong, but her morals were in constant conflict with her vocation. Unlike the men in her life, she had no vendetta to square off. She was following them wherever they led her. She was following her love of the sea. She was also trying to avoid the horrid fate that would await her if she ever stopped pirating. Amelia could see it now - being trapped in a loveless marriage, walking into a life of submission and servitude, giving up all freedoms, even the freedom to dream for something better because she would know that she had already found that better something, and that opportunity would never present itself ever again. No! She would not do it! She would stay at sea forever! And to ensure that she could, she would submit to the demands of piracy. In this case she would obey Jack. She would not go on the raid and she would shun all sentiments of regret. Obeying Jack was not like submitting to a husband. Jack knew of freedom and knew her longing for it. Jack never tried to restrain her, only protect her in the world that she was still only just getting to know.

"Thank you for at least giving me an honest answer," she said to him faintly.

Jack touched her chin.

"How's about this, if the men bring back a hostage I'll let you torture him a bit - get some of that bloodlust out of your system," he said jokingly.

They both laughed, knowing that Amelia would never have the heart to do anything so inhumane without at least some direct provocation.

As the men were getting ready to head out, a few of them asked Amelia if she wanted to come along. They were very sincere about their offer and thought it a good way to teach her some of the trade. Amelia respectfully declined, telling them to go off and have their fun without her for this once. She watched them as they scurried giddily through the dark streets. Roars of shouts and cries followed them everywhere they went.

Not long after, the city guard came rushing in. Shots were fired back and forth. The men who managed to return did not do so empty handed. Their pockets were filled. Some returned with bags of everything that they could get their hands on, while others just carried what their two hands permitted. Some of what was brought back was valuable but most items were captured simply for the joy of the challenge. In any case, it was all brought back for Barbossa to sort through.

Amelia could not believe the range of items that the raid provided. Sure there were traces of gold and silver, but some came back carrying chickens and pigs. There was the odd piece of artwork, a few locks and chains, new weaponry, and a couple of men came back hauling a large wine barrel. The men who came back stayed on the ship firing if they could get a shot in at the guards below, clearing a path for those still out on the prowl. Amelia did her own head count, trying to keep track of all who were missing. She began to worry. Many of the crew members were still out and the guards below were readying cannons to fire at the ship. She was not sure if the captain knew of the threat and quickly found him. Jack did not seem as anxious as the young woman was. He was perfectly calm as she rambled on about the danger the men ashore might be facing trying to return. The captain let her speak, he nodded his head but his overall expression did not change.

"This is why I told you to stay," he said. "There's no guarantees out there, love."

"So what do we do?" she asked. "Do we wait it out?"

"Not for much longer. If a man falls behind, he stays behind. Everyone knows the code and lives by it. We can't risk the lives of everyone for the sake of a few. For all we know some of them could already be dead. No different than Ewould's island. We say our peace and then we press on. They opted for the raid. They choose how far they want to go with it. If they go too far they've only got themselves to blame. The others have done well. There's no real need to wait on the rest."

"So you have no loyalty to your crewmates, then?"

"They're workers, love. They do the job and I pay them for it. The contract rests at that."

"And had I gone on the raid?"

Jack said nothing.

"If I were out there, Jack, would you still follow the code? I am a crew member, am I not? Just a worker? Expendable?"

"We have no contract," Jack said. "You're here on my own accord. I'm as responsible for you as Barbossa himself."

"So I'm not part of the crew. I'm still that little girl who's just along for the ride. Is that all?"

"Why must you always complicate things?" Jack exclaimed.

"I'm not complicating things, Jack, you are! What makes my life more valuable than theirs?"

In the frustration of finding himself in yet another argument with her, and the incapability of producing the right words to say, Jack did the only thing that he could think of to convey his point. Without warning he took hold of the back of Amelia's head and stole a deep a kiss from her.

"That's why," he said, and left the conversation on that point. He did not care if anyone had seen it. The thought that other people may have been around did not even enter into his mind.

So there it was, the answer so Amelia's special privilege. As the daughter of the first mate and the captain's lover she had no chance of simply being accepted as a crew member. She also came to the conclusion that those reasons were also the cause for her stay on the ship. As a woman, she had no place among them - only as a relation or companion. A female curse it was. Had she not her female sense of compassion, she could easily have participated in the pillaging and no one would have questioned her. All of a sudden her father's words were returning to her mind. Maybe he was right. But Amelia was more than just a woman. Captain Darius had said so and, she being the one to take his life, had proven it. Captain Teague had approved of her taking the lordship even though she didn't herself. True she could not play the part of a man or be thought of as one, but she had proven that she was able to accomplish what was needed by being a woman. She could gain confidence easier and strike firmer blows of betrayal. So she was useful even if the men around her could not see it – if the men around her did not want to see it. Had she not been seen as capable of raiding by the crew? Had she not turned down the offers that came to her? She was capable but must refrain from seeming so. If she were to play her part well, she would have to comply by being seen as weaker and more sensitive, so no one would suspect the true strength that she had within her.

But this was not about her. This was about the lives of men she had grown up with. They were her teachers, her friends, and her guardians.

"If they are not lost now, they will only be lost later. One way or another, I cannot expect them to sail forever," she thought to herself, ready to give up hope of ever seeing them again.

Still, she could not stay on deck to watch what would or would not happen. Amelia hid herself in the crew's quarters. She found one of the pigs that had run away and was also hiding nearby. Amelia sat on the floor and began to pet the poor frightened piglet. He was shaking but did not whine. What a brave little pig he was. She decided that they both were in need of comfort. He responded to her kindness by coming out of hiding and laying nearer her. He let her pick him up and she held him on her lap.

The creaking from the anchor could be heard. It must be lifting. A crash was heard not too far away. Cannon fire had been shot from land. Men rushed downstairs and began to man a couple of cannons to be fired in retaliation. The ship was beginning to move and gaining speed away from shore. The piglet continued to shake in Amelia's arms. A few more men began trickling downstairs as the action faded. One of the men she noted had not been included in her original head count. Curiosity took hold of her. She went back up, piglet still in her arms. There was another face that she had not noted before and was glad to see. She found her captain again.

Jack shook his head as he saw the young woman approaching him. "What now?" he sighed aloud before she was near enough to hear.

"Captain," she called.

She was smiling and her eyes were shining. How she was able to alter her state so quickly Jack would never be able to guess.

"You waited, didn't you?" she said gladly.

"Three men have not returned," he said.

"If it cannot be helped than that number is still better than the thirteen who may have been lost instead," she said.

"You are content to leave them behind, then?"

"I wouldn't say that I'm content, but I am ashamed to have doubted you, Jack." She took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"No need," he said trying to dismiss the subject. He noticed the piglet. "Found a new friend, have you?"

Amelia blushed and tried to keep from smiling too much.

"Don't let Barbossa see you hoard the thing. He sees to the shares, you know that," he said.

"I'll have to fight my father over a pig then, you think?" she laughed.

"Who knows the madness behind Barbossa's methods? You may have to settle for a chicken, or maybe even a goat. I swear that I saw one around here somewhere. Lord only knows why a man would waste the effort in hoarding up a goat in such a frenzy."

Amelia laughed.